At this time of the year last year, the NFC appeared to be headed towards a paradise in South Philly and Motown given how good they were in 2024. But now? It’s been taken over by the West Coast to some extent. When you look at it closely, this conference is very top heavy but that’s mostly due to the equal of what the NFC East was a decade ago in the form of the NFC South. Right now it seems like there will be new narratives this year. But where will they come from?
Dallas Cowboys (All In Attempt III): This is probably one of the only instances in my lifetime where the media is hyping up the Cowboys as contenders more than their own fanbase. Strange, I know. (Probably because they know that Dem Boys are a year away from true contention with the haul of draft picks they have) But generally speaking I think that yes they have a very high upside but it’s going to depend on a few things. And no it won’t be on the offense as long as Dak is healthy along with CeeDee and Pickens that unit will be near the top of the league. But once again it’s the defense that worries me. Getting a stud in the draft in Caleb Downs plus having a full year of Quinnen Williams is a start but they need more than two pieces to carry the load. It certainly helps that DeMarvion Overshown is back to full strength but what about applying pressure off the edge. I mean Rashan Gary could be a low key steal of an acquisition and VON MILLER? Did they not see how cooked he was last year in Washington? They better hope one of those young pass rushers compliments Gary or they will have a hard time getting to the QB. At least Matt Eberflus isn’t on the staff this year. That alone is an addition by subtraction.
New York Giants (Boy Wonders And Darts): You may be asking yourselves why my biggest hatewatch this season involves the Giants? Yes my sister works for the Cowboys and two of my closest friends from PSU are Eagles diehards, but that doesn’t tell the whole story. What do you get when you bring in a head coach who succeeded in Baltimore because he had generational players left and right (Spoiler: He won’t have that here in the Big Apple), a QB who’s dating a Social Media influencer, dinosaurs all over the roster and coaching staff, and perhaps the most insufferable media market in the world? A team that I would love nothing more than to see fail. Do I think John Harbaugh will bring respectability to New York? Sure. But I don’t think he’ll bring this franchise to glory especially given his habits of blowing huge leads and his “ROTATIONS” at certain positions. (At least it’s better for them than what they’ve had post Coughlin) Not to mention the Giants are putting their eggs in the basket of the health of Cam Skatteboo and Malik Nabers as well as MATT NAGY? You hired him as your OC? (And if not for Jesse Minter telling Harbs not to, he would have lured Rex Ryan out of ESPN) With Greg Roman as his right hand man? This is why the Lamar fanboys want this experiment to fail miserably. (That and making the New York Media eat crow) But as I’ve said, Harbs can only go as far as his coordinators will take him and if Dennard Wilson learns from his mistakes in Nashville that defense could be really good especially with Brian Burns and Abdul Carter. Wait a minute, they’re putting Arvell Reese at MLB instead of his natural position of DE. NEVER CHANGE JOHNNY!
Philadelphia Eagles (You Will Obey): I think it’s safe to say that no team throughout this entire offseason has been slept on more than the Eagles. After the way last year ended, with how bad Kevin Pattullo was, with AJ Brown running himself out of town like TO did before him, and with questions surrounding Nick Sirianni and whether or not he was the product of great drafts by Howie Roseman there are reasons for concern. (Not to mention they had to encounter the Madden Curse last year) However the last time people told this franchise these exact words, they destroyed everyone on their way to a championship. Now how will Philly respond this time? To me it depends on whether their Offensive Line can stay healthy, whether Sean Mannion is the evil genius as Jalen Hurts says he is and whether Makai Lemon is a perfect compliment to DeVonta Smith. Many of the pieces from 2024 are still here especially on defense but once again there is a lot of uncertainty given how 2025 ended. But as we all know from both ancient and recent history, Philly loves being doubted and labeled as underdogs. (Get ready to learn Strong Safety, Mr White Boy Summer) Please for the love of god don’t let Saquon get struck down by the Football Gods once again. If the woes that cost them against the 49ers return again. I would run for cover if I were Sirianni. (Lane Johnson needs to go out with a bang this year and hopefully he doesn’t end up like Jason Kelce did in his swan song)
Washington Commanders (Number Of The Day; 5): Washington I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you revived your iconic uniform set and resurrected the spear logo to complete their alternate Blackout set. The bad news is that Dan Quinn is being thrown straight into the hot seat after how 2025 went. That miracle run from 2 years ago may still be fresh in everyone’s minds but now it’s time to prove that they aren’t another one hit wonder like most Commie teams since Dan Snyder took over in 1999. And while Snyder may be long gone from this organization, his stench still is out there given some of the moves they’ve made. Paying $25M a year to Odafe Oweh? Trying to snag Brandon Aiyuk, (YoYo Sound) nevermind he backed out. Who’s out there now? Stefon Diggs, that’ll work and he’s from the DC area. (Scary Terry can’t do it alone and they don’t have a true bellcow at RB) On paper this team is hard to judge. If Jayden Daniels doesn’t fall into the same traps that RG3, they at least will be a fun team to watch on offense. If that defense is able to be league average. They could have Wild Card upside. But that’s a big if.
Chicago Bears (The Honeymoon Is Over): When a team is struck down by the Madden Curse especially following a season where every single thing went their way, regression is a foot. Chicago you might be heading towards this fate in 2026 now that Caleb Williams has donned the cover. Speaking of Caleb he needs to learn that overrelying on HeroBall is a recipe for disaster. With Ben Johnson as his head coach he should learn from the mistakes that cost them against the Rams last year. I think. Although I don’t think that’s their biggest concern. It’s their defense. Yes the turnovers were insane last year, but the way they played wasn’t sustainable and I think that’ll show in spades this year. (Why are you trading Gervon Dexter to Atlanta?) Just like Denver I am not as high on the Bears because of how many one score games they won and the way they did it. And they’re in a stacked division as well where a certain team in Wisconsin will want their heads ASAP. But forget all about that for a second, the Bears are getting a new stadium. IN INDIANA!? This is their answer to the Giants and Jets playing in New Jersey?
Detroit Lions (A Feisty Damn Campbell): It seems like the Lions are still trying to overcome the sorrows of losing THAT GAME against Washington in 2024. It affected them so much to the point where they missed the playoffs last year. Now Detroit is facing the possibility of being sentenced back to the basement of the NFC North. Although I don’t see that especially with a motivated Dan Campbell even if a few crucial losses in the offseason. (One of them is not Terrion Arnold) This year the offense runs through Jahmyr Gibbs and honestly I feel like that unit will go as far as Sonic and that Offensive Line will take them. On defense they’ve got a few injuries to overcome mainly to Brian Branch and Kirby Joseph but as long as Aiden Hutchinson is still roaming up front, they’ll be fine. Besides, Jared Goff is due to return to 2024 form? If his O-Line doesn’t fall apart. If they miss the playoffs again the Bobby Layne Curse will be in full effect once again. (I know someone in particular will be ticked off if they miss again. He won’t like it at all)
Green Bay Packers (My Kingdom For A Healthy Season): Any time we make the conclusion that God is a Packers fan he strikes down anything involving that team or anything involving Wisconsin Sports in general. That fanbase has already had to suffer through Jimmy Haslam running Giannis out of town and the inevitable Brewers loss to the Dodgers in the playoffs, they can’t deal with the Packies continuing their implosion from last year. Although most of that was due to their entire Front Seven being decimated by injury. And most of those guys won’t be back until midseason, especially Micah Parsons. All eyes will be on Jordan Love now that Josh Jacobs has off the field issues to deal with (RIP whoever drafted him in Fantasy Football) and they probably won’t be solved for a good bit. However all eyes will be placed on Matt LaFleur. Is he really a good coach or was he the benefactor to prime Aaron Rodgers and the seed that shouldn’t exist. (That 7th seed was used to prop up Josh Allen narratives, plus Green Bay and Pittsburgh’s stock. WOOF!) That’s the great question that we’re going to have to answer come January. If the Packers free fall from the end of last year continues its further proof that Wisconsin sold their souls for the Bucks winning an NBA Championship. That’s the only explanation I have. (Remember how people had them as Super Bowl locks last year? Time flies)
Minnesota Vikings (Something Has To Give): The Vikings have wasted gobs of talent throughout recent history thanks to things both in and out of their control. Last year it was JJ McCarthy and an imploding Offensive Line and lack of a running game. What’s it going to be this year if it happens again? They have an elite defense even if Harrison Smith is near the end of his career. Justin Jefferson and Jordan Addison should dominate out wide. (How do you make it better? Go out and get Jawan Jennings) And Kevin O’Connell is one of the better offensive minds in the game. If only they had a franchise QB. Well they could have that if he’s able to coach up Kyler Murray. (How is Carson Wentz still on an NFL roster) Honestly that may be the biggest Wild Card in the entire NFC. Seriously, if Murray plays like he did in 2020 and 2021, Minnesota will be contenders not just for a division title but for the conference in general. That’s how much talent there is on this team. The difference between an NFC North Title and the basement of that division is so slim that you may need glasses to get a full look at it. If they can’t get out of their own way again, well far for the course. (And no KOC isn’t going anywhere if they fail, it would look idiotic if they did cut ties with him.
Atlanta Falcons (The Michael Vick Clone Experience): The Falcons have tried everything to erase the memories of 28-3. (That game is going to be a decade old in February. CRUD!) New stadium, two different uniform overhauls, bringing in a 2 time Coach of the Year in Kevin Stefanski, bringing in a former MVP candidate in Tua Tagovailoa? Wait WHAT? Anyways that’s not including loading up on gobs of talent in the draft despite the picks looking idiotic at first. Speaking of which, they extended Kyle Pitts and Bijan Robinson. The conclusion I have is that no matter what they do, the Football Gods will continue to laugh in their faces. What will it be this time? (BOOM!) Jalon Walker is done for the year and James Pearce has off the field issues. Just like Wisconsin, you sold your souls for a championship in another sport and you’re being forced to pay up for it. Although knowing this franchise, they’ll probably beat one or two contenders in their 1960s Throwbacks, lose to teams they should crush, and then turn into world beaters when everything falls to the wayside. Such a fitting tradition for a franchise consumed with failure.
Carolina Panthers (Can They Keep Pounding Forward?): Yes they made the playoffs last year. Yes the Panthers have a bright future but how much of their success last year was due to them or how bad the NFC South was for the 5th time in this decade? I guess we’re about to find out. Just like the Falcons this team plays well against contenders and then sucks against teams in the Tank Bowl. (Or maybe that’s this entire division in general) No player optimizes the current state of the organization than Bryce Young. When he’s on, he’s on and has the potential to be an elite QB. When he isn’t, it’s proof why you don’t draft undersized QBs unless their name is Doug Flutie. And ironically they now have a clone of Bryce Young on defense in Jaelen Phillips. No not in terms of his size but in terms of his health status. He got paid $30M a year. Oh boy. Speaking of health status, (CRACK!) Their Offensive Line and their defense excluding Derrick Brown may be under the knife. Yes they signed Devin Lloyd to roam the middle of the field, but with how much health concerns they have, he may need to play two different positions. Let me guess the Football Gods need to punish David Tepper again. You better believe it. (Thank goodness their division is a mess, AGAIN!)
New Orleans Saints (The Half Decade Crossroad Of The NFL): Finally. The Saints are beginning to adapt to the modern game. Sort of. They still have a ways to go before they can call themselves true contenders but they’re in a much better spot than they were at this time last year. And that’s even if Alvin Kamara is going to miss the first weeks. But hey who needs him when you throw money at Travis Ettiene and draft Jordyn Tyson (CRACK!) Right after Tyson comes back from an injury he suffered in training camp. Now here lies a dilemma. Is Tyler Shough their guy going forward? He showed promise at the end of last year and I’m interested to see how he does in Year 2. (Saints fans better hope he doesn’t become their answer to Bobby Hoying) On defense it’s a work in progress but at least they have Pete Werner and Bryan Bresee. (CRACK!) And now Bresee is under the knife. But hey they’re playing with house money this year and if things somehow go south. Who cares they’ll get Arch Manning if it comes to be that way. I hope they trade their entire draft to get him like Ditka did before. Although that disaster class brought in Mickey Loomis. Wait, he’s still the GM after all of these years?
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (The Land Of Contract Disputes): The Buccaneers blew a golden opportunity at running away with a pathetic division last year and now they’re scrambling to fix things in a hurry. (Why did they bring back Todd Bowles?) It won’t involve Mike Evans because he was sent to the Bay Area. (Plus Lavonte David is headed for a nice retirement) At least Emeka Ebuka should take the baton and run with it. Luckily for him, Baker Mayfield is staying for another 3 years despite dealing with a contract dispute all offseason. Good for him. Same goes for Vita Vea on the D-Line he got a $30M a year bonus. And he’ll have a chance to feast even more this year since they lucked into a generational talent in Reuben Bain at Pick 15. (So much for having T-Rex arms eh?) It’s put up or shut up time for a lot of pieces on this team especially on defense and definitely with the guy behind the bench. If things go south again the only thing comforting is that the Glazers aren’t anywhere near as dumb as Hugh Culverhouse. THANK GOD!
Arizona Cardinals (Late 2000s Edmonton Oilers): GET OUT THE TANKS ONCE AGAIN! THE DEEP DIVE FOR ARCH MANNING OR DANTE MOORE IS UNDERWAY! The Coyotes may have left the desert for Salt Lake City a few years ago but their spirit lives on throughout the Valley of the Sun. This year is no exception. The Cardinals yes have nice pieces on offense in Trey McBride, Michael Wilson, and Jeremiyah Love coming from Notre Dame but the defense and the QB situation the less said the better. (How long until Marvin Harrison Jr wants out? My guess would be 6 weeks) Mike LaFleur has his work cut out for him and even more hilarious is that his OC is Nathaniel Hackett. Who’s probably going to run Love and McBride into the ground. There are people picking this team to go 0-17 with that schedule of theirs. I don’t see that happening, some jackass is going to give them a fluke win or two. If they don’t end up with the #1 overall pick there will be hell to pay in the eyes of the organization. THEY WANT THAT GENERATIONAL QB ONCE AGAIN!
Los Angeles Rams (Vegas Golden Knights Of Football): “Y’all are a bunch of (CENSORED!) (CENSORED!) You know why? (Rams acquire Trent McDuffie and Jaylen Watson from Chiefs) You don’t have the guts to be what you wanna be. You need people like me. (Myles Garrett traded to LA Rams for 2 1st Round picks, Jared Verse) YOU NEED PEOPLE LIKE ME SO YOU CAN POINT YOUR (CENSORED!) AND SAY THAT’S THE BAD GUY!” Oh great. Just when we thought LA wasn’t spoiled enough with one franchise that everyone in America wants to see fail thanks to throwing everything at anything with generational abilities in the form of the Dodgers, we must deal with another one in the Rams. (Let me guess, the Lakers are getting Anthony Edwards and the Kings are getting Connor McDavid aren’t they?) Now how are things going to get out of control? (BOOOOOOOM!) Aaron Donald came out of retirement like Bronko Nagurski in the 1940s to play alongside Myles Garrett and more than likely get a chance to compete in another Super Bowl (My COMM 412 instructor at Penn State would have enjoyed that historical reference). This is either going to be the Greatest Team in NFL History or one of the Greatest Single Season Failures in NFL History. There’s no inbetween. If the ladder happens we will all dunk on Stan Kroenke. (Angels fans you’re free form Arte Moreno) I know St Louis must be in hell with everything they’ve done this offseason.
San Francisco 49ers (Conditioning Cavemen): I don’t exaggerate when I say that the 49ers should never have moved out of the Candlestick complex and out to Santa Clara. All the evidence I need is the amount of injuries they’ve suffered especially to core players. And this has happened EVERY. SINGLE. FREAKING. YEAR! Yes they have had hacks as conditioning coaches but their practice surface has been dumb since it opened in the 80s. 20 players were injured during camp. The 5th time this has happened since Levi’s Stadium opened in 2014. It’s gotten so bad that they had to bring back Deebo Samuel and lure Mike Evans away from Tampa. The only men who can stay healthy it seems like are CMC and Brock N Roll. If you thought the drama was limited to just the players, oh how wrong you were. Kyle Shanahan was injured in a car crash and Jed York was arrested for soliciting prostitution. Seriously, is this all related to the Curse of Eddie DeBartalo? My guess would be yes. Although I must say this. THEIR PRACTICE FACILITY IS NEAR A POWER STATION IN SILICON VALLEY! CAN I GET A WITNESS FROM THE CONGREGATION! (Add in cavemen conditioning guys too and these are the results you get)
Seattle Seahawks (Darkness Here Forevermore): How rare is it to see that a defending Super Bowl Champion is getting this disrespected by the media to the point where people are sleeping on them again. That’s what happens when a certain team in their division is trying to pull off a repeat in 2021. But as Mike Macdonald has said many times, I do not care. And you better believe that they could care less about losing K9 and Klint Kubiak plus a few depth pieces on defense. Luckily they paid JSN, Devon Witherspoon, and Leonard Williams in the offseason to ease the blows. Hopefully Jadarian Price, even if this is his rookie year, should get a heavy dose of carries early on. Especially since that’ll take the pressure off of Sam Darnold and that passing game even with their sky high potential. And then there’s the defense who will probably be near the top of the league once again because Mike Mac gets the best out of every one of his guys. Knowing my logic he’ll revive Terrion Arnold and he’ll go back to Alabama form, just you watch. However there is a major concern. New ownership. Vinod Khosla is either going to be a worthy successor to the Allen Family or god forbid the next Ken Behring. Seattle should never have to deal with such a clown again. PAUSE.
I’m not going to say much more, I’m already running up against the deadline to put all of this out there so here are my NFC predictions. Man, I’m tired.
NFC East
- Eagles 11-6 #2
- Cowboys 10-7 #6
- Giants 9-8
- Commanders 6-11
NFC North
- Vikings 11-6 #3
- Packers 10-7 #7
- Lions 9-8
- Bears 7-10
NFC South
- Buccaneers 9-8
- Panthers 8-9
- Falcons 7-10
- Saints 7-10
NFC West
- Rams 13-4 #1
- Seahawks 12-5 #5
- 49ers 9-8
- Cardinals 2-15
NFC Wild Card
#2 Eagles over #7 Packers
#6 Cowboys over #3 Vikings
#5 Seahawks over #4 Buccaneers
NFC Divisional
#1 Rams over #6 Cowboys
#5 Seahawks over #2 Eagles
NFC Championship
#1 Rams over #5 Seahawks
Super Bowl LXI
#1 Rams over #1 Ravens (REVERSE JINXING DON’T FAIL ME NOW!)
NFL MVP: Josh Allen, Bills
Offensive Player of the Year: JaMarr Chase, Bengals
Defensive Player of the Year: Kyle Hamilton, Ravens
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Jadarian Price, Seahawks
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Reuben Bain, Buccaneers
Coach of the Year: Jesse Minter, Ravens
Comeback Player of the Year: Patrick Mahomes, Chiefs
Protector of the Year: Kevin Dotson, Rams
Executive of the Year: Les Snead, Rams
Super Bowl MVP: Myles Garrett, Rams
Bragging Rights Sports 