“Smith puts up a floater, no good, into the hands of Hield. Here he comes, he gets near halfcourt, he has to pull up a prayer before the clock hits zero. (DRAMATIC MUSIC!) GOOOOOOOD AT THE BUZZER!!! SPLASH BUDDY HAS COME TO PLAY HERE TONIGHT IN GAME 7!”
“Harden goes up top to Howard, back to Harden, Harden tied up, KNOCKED LOOSE! Picked Up! AND THE GAME IS OVER! GOLDEN STATE HANGS ON!”
“And this has become a rout. Marv for the game, Thompson again from downtown!”
“ARE YOU KIDDING ME! WHAT THE (CENSORED!) HOW MANY (CENSORED!) BREAKS ARE THE WARRIORS GONNA GET THIS YEAR!”
“And it’s Green on it! He has Curry with him. Curry fires for 3. YES!”
“HOW THE (CENSORED!) DO YOU MISS 27 STRAIGHT 3 POINTERS!”
“Curry with Tucker right with him. Curry launches a 3. PUTS IT IN AGAIN! Steph Curry from downtown!”
“And Butler takes it away, he’s got an open lane. HE’S GONNA DUNK IT HOME! GO TO WAR MISS AGNES!”
“Knocked away, Green with the steal, Payton. Room Service!”
“And now Sengun, defended by Green, for the lead, NO! RIPPING IT OFF! REBOUND INSIDE! WHISTLE BLOWN! FOUL ROCKETS!”
“Curry is able to get by Thompson, jacks up a 3. CUT EM LOOSE!”
“Here they come the other way, Curry kicks out to Hield in the corner, ENTER! SANDMAN!!!”
“The Warriors will move onto the 2nd Round of the playoffs, as they come to Houston and they’ve beaten the Rockets again!”
The more things change the more they stay the same. For the Rockets this was the fate that they tried to avoid once they recognized that the Harden Era was over. For the last few years, they’ve carefully constructed a young and talented roster full of likable players and veteran leaders. They even brought in Ime Udoka after it looked like he’d never coach again after that scandal in Boston. This team even has their own version of Nikola Jokic coming into his own and establishing himself as the face of the franchise, not to mention an emerging star in Jalen Green. This was a dream season for this franchise. All the pieces were finally in place for a postseason run that would capture the imagination of H-Town. There’s only one problem. (DA! DA!) An old foe was waiting for them to arrive so they could smack them in a back alley. AGAIN! Remember all of the LeBronto memes back in 2016-17-18 when the Raptors got their asses kicked by the Cavs for 12 out of 14 playoff games because LeBron ate them alive. Well guess what, we’ve got a moniker to debut here ladies and gentlemen. Behold, The City of HouSteph! Where every single hope that Rockets fans have of a greater tomorrow is shot down faster than their ability to make a clutch free throw. It was their biggest downfall of the entire season and it cost them the series in a big way. (If they take care of business at the line in Games 3-4? H-Town wins in 5) Dillon Brooks may have poked the bear known as LeBron, but he also poked the bear known as Steph Curry and Steve Kerr. (Telling Steph to hit a tennis court, BAD IDEA!) Every time the Warriors needed a big bucket throughout this series, oh they went to whichever player Brooks was guarding (Game 1: Steph, Game 3: Brandin Podziemski, Games 4/7: Buddy Hield). Ime Udoka may have learned his lessons of not making adjustments from the 2022 Finals when the Dubs knocked his Celtics out in 6 games, but in the end his team got stage fright so much that William Shakespeare himself would be salivating. (That and making excuses for Draymond to be ejected during Game 4) But even then that’s not painful enough. The Rockets just had to get their fans’ hopes up. Blowout wins in Games 5 and 6, DubNation was dead silent and they were coming home to kill the Wicked Witch in Game 7. Sadly there was no bucket of water thrown on Golden State during the melting at the 13th hour. Rockets fans were given PTSD of 2018 and 2019. Losing in an elimination game at home because they couldn’t stop getting in their own damn way on offense even with Sengun and Amen Thompson putting up good numbers. This might not be 27 straight missed 3 pointers or being shredded by an injured roster bad but still, a brutal way to go out even during an enchanted season. Unfortunately this organization has reached meme territory despite their promising future. 5 consecutive playoff series losses to Golden State. No matter what they do, who they have, and despite most of the main characters from the Warriors Dynasty gone, the narratives of being owned by DubNation will never die (There is nothing I enjoy more on a daily basis than roasting the Space City in the playoffs. Ravens or Warriors). Although I will give you guys comfort despite this brutal loss. This was your watershed series Rockets. You’re legit, you will be back here again. It’s just too bad that the boogeyman is still alive and well. I wouldn’t take this loss too hard if I were you. At least you’re not a certain team that is eating humble pie right now, I wonder who that is (BOOM!) (DUB ALERT! DUB ALERT! DUB ALERT!) (Lakers fans declare the Warriors dynasty as finished after Game 6 win in 2023 WCSF) YOU SAID THAT THE WARRIORS DYNASTY WAS OVER!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (The moment in which the LakeShow jumped the shark) How’s that 2-12 record in the playoffs treating you now Lakers! THIS DYNASTY WAS NEVER FREAKING DEAD TO BEGIN WITH! (One word of advice in life: NEVER WAKE A SLEEPING GIANT!) WE’RE GOING BACK TO THE FINALS IF WE HAVE TO DIE TRYING!!! PAUSE.
Bragging Rights Sports 