Narrator: The following is an exclusive presentation of Bragging Rights Sports.
(Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens) Charm City Beasts Presents: The Inauguration of the 9th Commander of the “BALTIMORE DEFENSE” Under the direction of the Salty Marylander
Marylander: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Inauguration Ceremony for the 9th Commander of the BALTIMORE DEFENSE!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAH! (Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens)
Marylander: Fellow Ravens fans, we may be witnessing the start of the New Frontier of the AFC North as declared by all of Ohio, BUT WE DON’T CARE ABOUT IT! Because in Baltimore there was never a New Frontier of this division!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAH! (Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens)
Marylander: Yes the Bengals may be in the Super Bowl, and their defense led by our old secondary coach destroyed Mahomes, and the Chiefs, but I want to get your opinions on this.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! WE WANT CINCY! CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP! WE WANT CINCY! CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP!
Marylander: At least it’s better than all of Cleveland picking them to go to the Super Bowl this summer.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Overrated! CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP! Overrated! CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP!
Marylander: Why we are here today is to go over and announce the solution to a transition towards what we call a religion in Birdland, THE BALTIMORE DEFENSE!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAH! (Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens)
Marylander: First off I would like to make one thing very clear in particular to Bengals fans. Don’t think you’re running away with the AFC North for years to come even with that Super Bowl!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAH! (Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens)
Marylander: Just like they along with ESPN anointed Joe Burrow as the best QB in the AFC North, Bengals fans called Evan MacPherson the best kicker in football!
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Marylander: I have one request for Roger Goodell next season, give us Cincinnati on Sunday Night at M&T for the Blackout game! I DARE YA!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAH! (Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens)
Marylander: Before we talk about that, we need to go over the events that led to this Inauguration.
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAH! (Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens)
Marylander: Don Martindale after 4 years as the defensive coordinator stepped down this past week after a long discussion about his future with Boy Wonder Johnny Harbaugh.
Crowd: WOOOOOAH!
Marylander: Wink was entering the final year of his contract plus the Ravens were coming off the worst defensive season in franchise history.
Crowd: Uh Huh Uh Huh.
Marylander: Unfortunately this was the only move that they will likely make. Both Steve Saunders and Greg Roman will be around for another season.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Marylander: But both men will receive the Cam Cameron and Jim Fassell treatments and will be on thin ice all season.
Crowd: Uh Huh Uh Huh.
Marylander: With Martindale gone the Ravens have begun the search for their next commander to the defense.
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAH! (Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens)
Marylander: Their first choice is Joe Whitt, the secondary coach for the Dallas Cowboys.
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAH!
Marylander: This man was responsible for the Green Bay Packers title run in 2010 as he was the secondary coach for that team, as well as the Cowboys. Whitt made Charles Woodson into a Defensive Player of the Year and Hall of Famer while he was with the Pack, now in Dallas he transformed Trevor Diggs into a generational talent. Good Plan A, what do you think?
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAH! (Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens)
Marylander: 2nd on the list is Kris Richard, the secondary coach for the New Orleans Saints.
Crowd: Uh Huh, Uh Huh.
Marylander: Richard was a key figure as to why the Saints defense had success against QBs like Tom Brady and Aarond Rodgers. Although with Sean Payton stepping down, he will most likely be ruled out since he will become their DC once their current coordinator gets promoted.
Crowd: Uh Huh, Uh Huh.
Marylander: 3rd on this list happens to be Anthony Weaver, the Ravens D-Line coach.
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAH!
Marylander: Weaver was the defensive coordinator for the Texans in 2020, but even with JJ Watt, Justin Reid, and Whitney Mercilus, they had one of the worst units in the NFL. Although Weaver is more of a fit towards being a position coach. Which means he’ll coach the unit that he played during his career when he was a Raven himself.
Crowd: Uh, Huh, Uh, Huh.
Marylander: 4th on the list is the defensive coordinator at the University of Michigan in Mike Macdonald.
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAH!
Marylander: Macdonald, a former Ravens assistant for 7 years, helped change the entire culture of the Michigan defense in one year. He made Aidan Hutchinson into the likely #1 overall pick in this year’s draft. And his teaching methods and young swagger are perfect for the modern NFL.
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAH! (Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens)
Marylander: 5th on our list is Mike Caldwell, the linebackers coach for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAH!
Marylander: Caldwell, one of the more trusted coaches on Todd Bowles defensive staff in Tampa Bay, turned this underachieving linebacker core into a Super Bowl champion in just 1 season. Since his arrival, the Bucs have had the best set of linebackers in the league.
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAH! (Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens)
Marylander: And finally even though he really isn’t a candidate but his name is out there. Rob Ryan.
Crowd: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Marylander: Don’t worry everyone, they quickly ruled him out.
Crowd: Uh, Huh, Uh, Huh.
Marylander: Now that the candidates have been discussed, let’s bring in Johnny for the final decision.
Harbaugh: After a long discussion, we have decided to hire Mike Macdonald as the defensive coordinator. Mike is one of us — a Raven through and through. During his initial seven seasons with us, it was evident that his leadership, intelligence and passion would earn him the opportunity to be a defensive coordinator in the NFL. Mike has continuously proven himself, including when he led one of the country’s best defenses at Michigan last year. He is a proven play-caller who knows our system well. He also fully understands the standard of playing defense in Baltimore.
Marylander: Ladies and Gentlemen, the 9th Commander of the BALTIMORE DEFENSE! From the University of Michigan, Mr. Mike Macdonald.
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAH! (Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens) O-O-O-O-O-O-O! O-O-O-O-O-O-O! O-O-O-O-O-O-O! O-O-O-O-O-O-O! (Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens)
Macdonald: I’m excited to see the potential we have on this defense. We have a lot of pieces that are determined to get healthy like John said. Ultimately, our goal is not even Top 10, right?
Crowd: Yes
Macdonald: You want to be No. 1. So, that’s the standard. It’s just the willingness to just try to keep putting your players in the best position so they can succeed. If you let that kind of guide your decision process, you end up at a pretty decent spot. The first thing you want is a cohesive unit. You want everybody to have each other’s backs. There’s a certain style it takes to play like a Raven. You want it to be multiple. You want it to be flexible and adaptable. It needs to be complimentary, light enough when you can adjust to certain things and simple for the players so they can go play the way you expect them to go play. The aggressiveness – absolutely – is going to carry over, but I think you’ve got to look through the lens, What does aggressiveness actually mean? It’s about keeping the offense off-balance and where they’re not really believing what they’re seeing on a down-to-down basis. So, a lot of times, that will come with the schemed-up pressure – that’ll happen. A lot of times it could be a fake pressure, it could look like this coverage and play like another one. You’re changing the stress points of the zones and things like that and just trying to create doubt at all times. You want to be the one pushing the envelope, rather than the other way around.
Harbaugh: You saw it operate at Michigan, and we’re planning on taking that to another level as we keep building it. He made a bold move last year. Sometimes, it’s tough to leave a comfortable situation and go step out and take a chance. He was willing to do that, bet on himself, went out and had great success. The things that you see in Mike, it’s a great combination of intelligence, common sense, people skills, it’s the really unique, hard to find balance of confidence and humility.
Marylander: Ladies and Gentlemen, once again give it up for the 9th Commander of the BALTIMORE DEFENSE! From the University of Michigan, Mr. Mike Macdonald.
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAH! (Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens)
Marylander: Next time on Charm City Beasts we will discuss the offseason plans of Planet LJ and how Eric DeCosta will attack the offseason. Thank you so much for coming Ravens fans!
Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAAH! (Inauguration measure played by Marching Ravens)
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