Playoff Basketball. It’s one time of the year where we all know the NBA won’t feature a boring slate of games. The drama and tension will be high and there will be plenty of salt from those who end up getting eliminated early. Even though this league has been surprisingly the most unpredictable among the four major sports, something tells me that may change this year. The question isn’t if it’s going to change, but who?
Dallas Mavericks (Keep Nico Away From The Public): This is literally the worst case scenario. After the run they had to the Finals last year, after bolstering their depth in the offseason, this should not be the situation right now for the Mavs. Well that is until you look at what’s happened since the start of the calendar year. Trading away the 2nd coming of Dirk to me could very well be as bad as the Whalers trading Ronnie Francis to the Penguins in 1991 (Especially if the new arena deal doesn’t go through). But at the time it wasn’t super bad because they got Anthony Davis and Kyrie was still kicking ass. (BOOM!) That was until the Basketball Gods punished Irving with a torn ACL, and AD has been YOU GUESSED IT injured. Not even Klay Thompson and an emerging Naji Marshall can get them out of this mess they dug themselves. I would blame Nico Harrison but part of me believes that he was mind controlled by Adam Silver to gift wrap the Lakers with possibly another dynasty. If I’m Mavs fans, I’d rather call for Silver’s than blame the organization entirely given how much favoritism they have towards LA. I wonder how Social Media is reacting to this? (DRAMATIC MUSIC!) (Meghan Markle, Dallas Mavericks, President Trump trolled by South Park memes) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sacramento Kings (2023 Seems To Be A Fluke): Just like Dallas, this is another team that shouldn’t be in a mess that they’re stuck in right now, but in this case it has more to do with a certain Ranadive reinforcing his reputation as a clown. Let me put it this way. You don’t trade the best player your franchise has had since Chris Webber in an attempt to try the same damn experience that the Bulls tried for three years (If there’s any good news for Kings fans, it’s that DeAaron Fox got hurt just as he arrived in San Antonio) Wouldn’t you guess it both LaVine and DeRozan have been inconsistent as expected, and despite the emergence of Keegan Murray and Malik Monk putting up a career season, nothing else has seemed to go right for the Kings. And not to mention they shouldn’t have fired Mike Brown, the man responsible for turning this laughing stock of an organization into contenders to begin with. You better be lucky that Mat Ishbia turned the Suns into the NBA’s version of the Carolina Panthers or else you’d be watching the playoffs from your couch. And you’re facing another gong show in the 9V10 game. Now do us all a favor and make us laugh at Nico some more (If you lose to the Mavs, blow up the franchise please).
Memphis Grizzlies (DRAMA AHOY!): Well you’re back in the playoffs. But at what cost. For most of the year the Grizzlies were looking like a dark horse contender to make a run at a Western Conference Title, Ja Morant had learned his lessons and was back to being a superstar, Jaren Jackson and Desmond Bane were having All Star caliber seasons. There was no way that Memphis would fall apart in the 2nd Half. (BOOM!) But they did. Their once vaunted defense got absolutely shredded down the stretch. To be fair they had a brutal schedule after the All Star Break but still that is not a good look for a team with everything to prove. At least it can’t get worse. (YoYo Sound) Wait a minute, YOU FIRED TAYLOR JENKINS!? For losing a power struggle to Ja of all people. Yup, Robert Pera has reached meme territory. When will owners ever learn not to stay out of their own way especially when things don’t go well. And I was always under the impression that Pera was super patient even in the darkest of times. Well that was a lie. Now the Grizzlies have dug themselves a massive hole, and now they get the prize of facing their boogeyman on the road in the play-in tournament. And said boogeyman wants heads for the trophy room which one of them happens to be yours. Good luck trying to escape such a fate, and if you do, Houston awaits.
Golden State Warriors (They Never Make It Easy): Even as a diehard fan of these boys I have no idea what to expect from the Dubs come the postseason. When you look at what they’ve done since the Jimmy Butler Trade, going on a tear throughout the Western Conference, dominating the majority of their schedule, and beating both the Lakers and Nuggets in convincing fashion, you’d think that this would catapult them into having home court advantage in a 1st Round series (Behold the rise of Brandin Podziemski and Moses Moody!). That is until you look deeper. I’ve said it all year and I’ll say it again. The Warriors are their own worst enemy, and it’s holding them back from possibly a 5th title in this dynasty. Too many times they’ve gotten overconfident and it’s gotten the best of them. How so? They broke the league record for most losses in a season when leading by double digits. And it’s why they have to head back to the dreaded play-in tournament. What frustrates me is that I know what this team can do at their peak. Luckily they still have championship DNA in them, and Steph Curry and Steve Kerr are going to do everything they can to make sure Jimmy Butler has a shot at his first ring. Although I must say this, remember how everyone thought that the Warriors were benefiting from REFBALL for all of these years. They’re now the ones up against the zebras. Why? Because the league is going to do everything they can to make sure Steph doesn’t pass LeBron in the GOAT debate. Now you see why I want Golden State to beat the Lakers more than anything this postseason. Because I’ve had enough of all of the cold takes from the media about how this dynasty is dead. (I smell another We Believe run except this time it wouldn’t be much of a surprise)
Minnesota Timberwolves (The Ant Goes Marching Again): You know, I was one of the few people that wasn’t panicking on the Wolves when they got off to that shaky start. It’s never easy losing a longtime face of the franchise like Karl Anthony Towns, and it probably took a toll on these boys for the 1st Half of the season. Once the All Star Break was over, Minnesota got its act together and have taken charge in the process. Anthony Edwards obviously is a generational talent who oozes confidence every time he goes out on the court, but in order for the Wolves to reach their full potential, he needed help. That’s what he’s gotten as of late. Julius Randle and Donte DiVincenzo have both awakened from their early season slump and regained the form they had in New York last year. And don’t forget the fan favorites in Jaden McDaniels and Naz Reid. But for this team to have any success in the playoffs, they need Rudy Gobert to shed his choker reputation and fast. Even though KAT isn’t by his side this year, something tells me he’s going to turn his fortunes around even if his team falls short. If that happens, I’ll be so pleased given what he’s gone through both in Minnesota and Utah.
Los Angeles Clippers (Finally! Health Is On Their Side): The waves of time are unforgiving. You beg for mercy and the crushing of narratives at every corner. You want to finally prove that you’re not little brother anymore, yet the tide will rise and wash your hopes away. That’s what the Clippers are dealing with right now. For a while it was looking ugly. Even with Kawhi finally back at full strength, something just didn’t feel right. (Moving into a new home can take time to adjust eh?) They’d show flashes of their potential, but nothing consistent. Once April came. These guys have turned back the clock to 2021 in a big way. James Harden has for the moment rediscovered his scoring touch, Norman Powell and Kris Dunn have been excellent two way players, and Ivica Zubac is staking his claim as one of the better big men in the game. (Plus an underrated acquisition of Bogdan Bogdanovic) Even Ben Simmons isn’t a liability anymore. However we’ve seen this movie before with the Clippers, and as history has shown us the Basketball Gods love trolling both Olivier Sedra and Steve Balmer. (Excluding 2016 when Sedra was in Cleveland) With the 8 game win streak they went on to end the regular season, signs point to it not happening. But if it does, I’m laughing so hard at these boys once again given how many times they’ve teased everyone about how they’re finally going to break the San Diego Sports Spell.
Denver Nuggets (PANIC! At The Ball Center): On the surface the Nuggets very well could make another push towards a championship. Especially given that Nikola Jokic became the first big man in NBA History to average a triple double for a season. This man is doing things that we’ve never seen at that position at any point in time. The only downside is that everyone else around him has had down years. I’m looking right at Jamal Murray. When did he suddenly look lost out there. When did Michael Porter Jr get so inconsistent. They can’t just rely on Jokic and Aaron Gordon on most nights. But even with these misfortunes and their lack of scoring depth outside of Christian Braun, knowing Denver they’re going to turn it on and make people into believers again. As long as Stan Kroenke doesn’t do anything stupid they’ll be ok. (BOOM!) REALLY KROENKE! You just had to go back to how incompetent you were when the Rams were still in St Louis. (That or somehow Dick Monfort was sworn in as owner for a day) What team not only fires a coach at the end of the regular season, especially a Top 5 coach like Mike Malone when they’ve been in a slump and are one game away from turning it around. (They also fired the GM as well. Lovely) Apparently the Nuggets. If you listen closely you can hear Nikola Jokic debating on whether or not he should stay or leave the Mile High City due to all of this. And no if he’s leaving town it’s to retirement so he can live on his ranch and be close to family overseas not due to an offseason trade. Even when the Red Headed Stepchild narrative is dead, the Nuggets can’t escape the fate that’s doomed their franchise for years. Not knowing when to shake things up.
Los Angeles Lakers (God Help Us All): Behold Ladies and Gentlemen the most insufferable organization maybe in all of sports. Just when we thought that the Lakers would go back to their habits of being the Boys Club of the NBA they managed to do just that. Well by convincing us all that LeBron is the commissioner of this league and not Adam Silver. (The Ultimate Deep State Conspiracy, especially given that two Top 10 coaches were fired before the end of the regular season. MAKE THIS STOP!) I swear I miss the days where the league held its star players accountable and gave more power to the men at the top. Especially given that the LakeShow pulled off the NBA’s answer to Wayne Gretzky being traded to the LA Kings. Luka Doncic to LA, where he’s become a god almost overnight. Not to mention Austin Reaves and Dalton Knecht have heated up as of late. I know they’re everyone’s darlings right now but to me I see a flawed roster that can’t play on the road unless the other team has a rough night. But even then it’s not my biggest concern. To me it’s THE GUY BEHIND THE BENCH! JJ Redick may have exceeded expectations as a rookie coach during the regular season, but I do not trust anyone who has no coaching experience in the playoffs (Steve Nash is all you need to know). But I know all of the LeBron fanboys will bring up Ty Lue in 2016. Different situation, the Lakers don’t have the roster that Cleveland had that year. Please for the love of god don’t let this team make the Finals. I don’t want to have to hear how LeBron is the GOAT for days on end. (Shannon Sharpe I know you won a Super Bowl with the Ravens, but you need to stop drinking the Lakers in 5 stupid juice)
Houston Rockets (Udoka’s Defensive Freaks): And the winner of how is this team near the top of its conference goes to Houston. The Rockets this year have gone under the radar in a big way and now get their chance to prove their legitimacy. (Unless they somehow run into their boogeyman known as the Dubs yet again) The fruits of young talent are starting to round up into possible long term success. Jalen Green may not be your prototypical top option but he’s still someone who is capable of being that. From how I see it the X Factor for the Rockets this year especially on the defensive side of the ball is Amen Thompson. The way he’s defended guys like Steph and SGA this year prove such a thinking. Even though they mostly lack deep playoff experience, at least Fred VanVleet should have a few good postseason games in him this year especially if Udoka makes him the focal point of the offense. To me even if they don’t go far, the Rockets at the very least are a likable who’s best years are yet to come. (Strange saying that about a team from Houston given the Harden Era plus the Watson and Altuve Eras with the Texans and Astros) That’s all you can hope for right.
Oklahoma City Thunder (KABOOM!): The world is yours. Or so they say. If last year was the learning experience and honeymoon for the Thunder, this year is where every expectation is shot up to the speed of sound. 68 wins on the season, with a lineup that can beat you in so many ways. SGA putting up another MVP caliber season. Jalen Williams and Chet Holmgren becoming cornerstones. Eight players averaging double figures a game. (Just like Boston last year, they should smoke everyone they face on paper) Alex Caruso finally getting out of Chicago to play for a real team. (Isaiah Hartenstein is free from the New York Media) All the stars are aligning for this Legacy of Failure to come to an end. However there is one concern I’ve noticed all season long. OKC doesn’t have an off switch. And that may cost them if they get a bad matchup. They aren’t the most glamorous team in the league given that they play in a small market, but these guys are a fun team to watch at their peak especially given how much scoring depth they have. I hope Mark Daigneault for his sake doesn’t get overwhelmed by the big moment or heinous REFBALL. The team he’s coached is too good and too likable to fall victim to such a thought. Now as long as they don’t make another horrible AT&T commercial like last year they’ll be fine. We think.
Miami Heat (NadaYada Island): Great job Miami, you made the play-in again! And all it took was your best player complaining about the organization’s lack of making big moves to the point where he wanted out and got his wish. For this season the Heat weren’t truly awful, but rather mediocre. It doesn’t matter if Andrew Wiggins has come in and regained his 2022 form, the loss of Jimmy Butler to DubNation has taken its toll. But hey they still have Bam and Tyler Herro, that’s at least something. Well if they weren’t so madingley inconsistent. For as dramatic and chaotic a season as it’s been for Miami, at this point Pat Riley probably wants the season to end just so he can try and bring in another star player who will embrace the HeatCulture before getting worn out by the end. I wonder who that’ll be?
Chicago Bulls (Mediocrity Defined): Remind me to never ever EVER trust the Bulls to do anything besides make the play-in tournament and get their asses kicked as soon as they gain any sense of hope. Zach LaVine’s having a career season and is looking for a new contract “HE GONE!” Well now Coby White has taken that mantle and yet there are some who don’t think he’s any good. (Well by Bulls standards he’s good since he might be the only stud they have) The same goes for Josh Giddey. There are future pieces but nothing worthy enough of gaining any kind of trust. I’m going to repeat this to anyone in Chicago who is in control of day to day operations. WAKE UP! If Reinsdorf wasn’t sitting on his couch and counting the amount of dollars that this team has been getting from ticket sales at the United Center, they might go somewhere in the future. Well if this were 15 years ago, they probably would wake up, but now. Not liking their chances one bit. Now how long until Billy Donovan gets axed?
Atlanta Hawks (A Broken Record): Making it to the postseason by the skin of your teeth. It’s been this way quite often for the Hawks over the past several years. This season, like most years during the Trae Young Era, has seen two constants. A top flight offense, and a defense that can’t make a freaking stop. What’s even more baffling is that they traded away their best defender in an attempt to add more offense. I’m sorry what? In no way should DeAndre Hunter have been traded at the deadline. I know they probably don’t escape the play-in tournament regardless of that trade or not but still that is a bad look on the organization. Jalen Johnson getting injured long term only adds gasoline to this fire. But hey Zaccharie Risacher and Dyson Daniels look really damn good, except when you look at their defensive metrics. I swear it’s like Atlanta still believes its 2021 and outscoring their opponents every night is their way of life. Yes you can do that for a few games. Not during an entire 82 game schedule. Welp even if you make the postseason, you’re getting your asses kicked again as is tradition.
Orlando Magic (A Revisit To The Bubble): Well consider it like this. The Magic have trouble putting together quality offensive games as a team yet managed to make it this far because their defense is one of the better units in basketball and the Wagner Brothers are in the beginning of their primes. That and Paolo Banchero has clearly lived up to the hype of being a former #1 Overall Pick. Other than that, Orlando has been doomed by one word this season especially in the 2nd Half. Inconsistency. There are times where Cole Anthony and KCP have it, and there are times when they don’t. Those two guys aren’t the biggest Wild Cards on this team for nothing. Even though many people expected more out of the Magic this season, I still feel like they’re on schedule with their development. Just get another learning experience or two in the postseason over the next two years and go from there. Well at least John Hammond isn’t in charge of making day to day decisions come the offseason.
Detroit Pistons (House Money Boy!): My goodness! No matter what happens this postseason, all of Detroit can say this with pride. The dark ages are yesterday’s news! (I thought this was only for the Lions. The Pistons took this personally) The Pistons are back in the playoffs and now have the chance to do something that hasn’t been seen in nearly 20 years. Win a playoff game, and possibly win a series. They have the young talent to pull it off even with their lack of postseason experience. Cade Cunningham has finally fulfilled his draft night promise to the fans and has clearly become the face of the franchise for years to come. And he’s not alone either. Jaden Ivey has blossomed into a rock solid player, and Malik Beasley, repeat what I said about Ivey. Not to mention their scoring depth has really come on strong for them during this hot streak they’ve had after the All Star Break. I’m looking right at Tobias Harris and Dennis Schroder (Never thought I’d say that about those two at any point this season). It comes to show you what a difference good coaching can make for a team. Now can JB Bickerstaff do the one thing that has eluded him for years. Beating the Knicks in a playoff series. If that happens we all laugh at ESPN and MSG for weeks on end (I don’t think James Dolan’s going to like that one bit).
Milwaukee Bucks (The Great Haslam Wacky-Taxi): Remember laughing at them back in November? I certainly do. For the first month of the season the Bucks were at the bottom of the table in the East… somehow. Then they get injected by fire and rip off a hot streak which included an In-Season Tournament title. Then they fell off hard due to injuries and who knows when Damian Lillard will get back if at all. But then Deus Ex Machina struck Milwaukee. Even without Dame and Khris Middleton who was traded to the Wizards for Kyle Kuzma, the Bucks have been one of the hottest teams in the NBA as of late. Some of it is due to Bobby Portis coming back from a midseason suspension and Kevin Porter Jr reviving his career after it was left for dead 18 months ago, but to me this is mostly because of one man. Giannis Antetokounmpo. Just like LeBron in 2018, he is dragging an entire organization kicking and screaming towards possibly a deep run in the playoffs. Not to mention he hasn’t played a full postseason in 3 years and is itching to prove his doubters wrong, and get revenge on a certain team that knocked them out last year. I wonder who that is? (Now how long will he want to put up with Haslam making mistake after mistake? Thats the real question)
Indiana Pacers (No Element Of Surprise This Time): Despite last year’s surge to the ECF, the NBA is ready for the Pacers. They no longer have the Cinderella label placed upon them and now don the weight of a team who has expectations to make another deep run. This time around Indiana will have health on their side unlike against Boston a year ago especially now that Haliburton and Mathurin are at full strength. Pascal Siakum was dealing with injuries for a good part of the season, but now he’s healthy again. And the same goes for Myles Turner. (I wonder if TJ McConnell will one-up what he did last year) Their speed and fastbreak approach is going to be a problem for most teams they face once again, but what concerns me is simple. The Pacers don’t have an off switch. And even though it didn’t cost them home court advantage in the 1st Round, it might cost them against Milwaukee or Cleveland if they aren’t careful. Overall I think they’ll be fine early on this postseason, but as the further you go, the higher the odds are of going out of your comfort zone. I expect that to take place with these boys.
New York Knicks (PRESSURE! Push It Down On Me): A question that’s filled my mind all season long. Will the Knicks ever manage to play up to their potential for once in their damn lives? Flashes of championship level play only to be followed by constant meltdowns. In particular against the Cavs and Celtics (They must beat both of them to have any chance at the Finals). An excellent starting five that has been undone by way too minutes a game plus little depth around them. The definition of a Tom Thibedeau coached team. And his seat is so hot right now considering the moves they’ve made this offseason to try and make it to June. (If you disagree with me, all I have to do is show you footage of the 2023 New York Rangers) Luckily Jalen Brunson has been a demigod in the playoffs, and Karl Anthony Towns has a chance to prove to all of New York that he was the missing piece. DiVincenzo and Randle may be gone but as long as Mikal Bridges doesn’t go ice cold, and Anunoby’s legs don’t fall on him, they’ll be fine. Although I’m not sure if the fresh optimism despite their record against top teams is going to calm the nerves of Stephen A Smith. Why? Because if they lose to a team that hasn’t won a playoff game in nearly 20 years, he and the rest of that fanbase is never going to hear the end of it on Social Media.
Boston Celtics (Poke The Goozim With A Stick. I Dare You!): Boston arrogance has returned yet again. This time the Celtics are trying to make the push towards yet another dynasty which will have everyone in basketball jealous of them for at least the 19th time over the last nearly 80 years. The cast from last year is roughly the same and they’ve gotten better individually, especially Payton Pritchard and Sam Hauser. Once again all eyes will be on their Top 6 who once again is capable of beating you in lethal ways. That is despite Jaylen Brown and Jrue Holiday having down years though. But who am I kidding they’re probably going to regain their old stroke come playoff time. However an old friend has returned to try and hold them back from a 2nd straight title. PLAYING DOWN TO THEIR COMPETITION! (And it sorta cost them the #1 seed) Even though he has a ring the pressure once again is on Jayson Tatum. If he wants to be on the same level as Russell, Bird, Pierce, and many others in Leprechaun Lore, he must win both the Bird ECF MVP and the Russell Finals MVP (It’ll be tough for him since this is usually when Jaylen Brown becomes their best player). Anything less than that means the Boston Media will bash him even if he wins a 2nd title. Once again the expectations are extreme and they should be able to handle it. Or won’t they?
Cleveland Cavaliers (The Revolution Has Come): Oh boy! Now this is something. I knew Cleveland was going to be good this year given that Kenny Atkinson was inheriting a talented roster but like this? My gosh. Anytime I look at this squad I get flashbacks to the 2015 Warriors. The emphasis on 3 point shooting and defense, a coach who fits the team culture like a glove, the near unstoppable locomotive that has crushed nearly every single opponent in its path. This team can make noise this postseason despite what’s happened the past few years. Especially when you consider that all five of their starters are excellent two way players (Well maybe not Mitchell and Garland but still). The DeAndre Hunter Trade may not be the most glamorous move of the deadline, but it’s made a lockdown defense even stronger, and as a result Evan Mobley and Jarrett Allen have upped their games. Right now there are a lot of doubters that think they’re paper tigers but from my perspective they have the guns to not only make the Finals, but do so rather convincingly. As long as they don’t get screwed over by REFBALL they should make it to June. If not, the gods really do hate Cleveland (I won’t feel bad for that fanbase given how much I hate Ohio Sports). PAUSE.
This season has taken us through a bunch of ratings duds and people tuning out for reasons of not being satisfied with the current state of the game. Although if there’s any time to draw those souls back in, this is it. Especially given that the postseason is high drama to the ends of the earth. What will be the storyline this year?
Prediction: To me the NBA Finals is going to be a rematch of a rivalry that no one outside of those two fanbases wants to see happen. Considering that both the MLB and NFL have had this occur in the past year, it wouldn’t surprise me if Adam Silver tells Rob Manfred and Roger Goodell to hold his bottle of Gatorade. Although this one to me is going to be a 12-6 curveball compared to the prediction that seems to be Captain Obvious to most basketball fans. From how I see it we’re getting Warriors-Cavs V. It won’t have the same levels of chaos, hype, and insufferability as it did a decade ago, but I still think there will be plenty of salt from NBA subscribers if that matchup happens, especially from anyone who hates the Warriors. Not to mention it’ll be two teams who are mere images of each other. Let’s play some hoops boys! (PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THE FINALS CANNOT BE LAKERS-CELTICS)
Bragging Rights Sports 