The NFL season is at long last in the books. Finally I can focus on something else besides football. Hey how are things going in the NBA? Let me put it this way. IT’S CHAOS! Gobs of offensive talent swooping around the league. And more chaos. Not to mention a ratings power struggle has also consumed the league thanks to there being more parity than ever. (Adam Silver is a clone of Rob Manfred. He wants big markets and superteams ruling the league. NOT HAPPENING!) Let’s get to the Eastern Conference slate shall we
Atlanta Hawks (Same Ol’): I find it absolutely incredible that the Hawks are one of those teams that thinks they can make noise yet fail to adapt to the modern game at the same time. Offensively this is one of the better units in the league. Trae Young being his typical self from long range, Dyson Daniels enjoying his breakout party this year, and even if Zaccharie Risacher had early season struggles, he has been able to turn it around as of late. (Considering that he was the #1 overall pick, they needed this) What’s holding this team back you say? Defense. Even if Quin Snyder is a defensive minded coach, they still have one of the worst units in basketball on that side of the ball. Trying blowing 10 different games when they had a double digit lead. (Giving up 119 a game is not the sign of a healthy organization) Hell that’s not even the worst part about this whole season for Atlanta. No, it’s the fact that an emerging star in the middle of an outstanding season is done long term. (BOOM!) That being Jalen Johnson. Done for the year with a torn labrum in his shoulder. (“BLEEP NICOLET! BLEEP NICOLET! BLEEP NICOLET!”) That news forced Tony Ressler and company to trade DeAndre Hunter to Cleveland for Caris LeVert and Georges Niang. I get that Hunter is in a contract year and they wanted as much as they could get, but still you don’t make this trade if you’re within striking distance of a playoff spot. Sometimes these teams never change, do they?
Boston Celtics (The Nonstop Leprechaun Machine): A title defense taking place in Beantown, it’s like Tom Brady never left the Patriots at all. As expected the Celtics have dominated the majority of their competition with a playstyle that is both deadly to their opponents yet is admired by analytical nerds. The cutting edge of modern day basketball. (No more playing down to their competition memes… for now) If you thought their lineup wasn’t deep enough, how about Payton Pritchard becoming an offensive dynamo off the bench. And they added Torrey Craig at the deadline to improve their depth even further. Even if Jaylen Brown is having a down year by his standards, I do expect him to carry the load in the 2nd Half like he’s done the past few years. Tatum and Jrue Holiday are going to need that especially considering that teams will be trying to limit either one of them. Boston’s only concern the rest of the way is health and Holiday and Brown have been playing injured as of late, but if they have every guy out there, they should be fine. Just don’t bring back all of those past narratives about taking your opponents lightly.
Brooklyn Nets (They Can Punt Better Than The Jets): I wouldn’t call this bringing out the tanks territory but honestly this is where I expected the Nets to be in. Right on the fringes of mediocrity. Early in the season, they were getting mauled on a nightly basis. Jordi Fernandez was getting tactically spanked behind the bench quite often in January. A 1-12 stretch which also saw Cam Thomas get injured at one point is all you need to know. (To be fair most rookie coaches go through this especially during the meat of their schedule) Since then they’ve been alright. Cam Johnson and Nic Claxton have been inconsistent all year but as of late its been inconsistently good. Hell they even brought back an old fan favorite in D’Angelo Russell thanks to the Boys Club in LA drinking stupid juice as always. The most insane thing about Brooklyn is that considering how weak the East is in the play-in tournament they aren’t that far out. Although even if they do shock us all they’re getting their asses kicked as soon as mid April comes. Hey, a man can only dream.
Charlotte Hornets (Irrelevant Franchise): How am I not surprised as to how this season has ended up for the Hornets. Lets see, LaMelo Ball putting up All Star caliber numbers only for them to be wasted because nobody outside of Mark Williams and Brandon Miller can do anything worth a damn. Speaking of Williams, there were a ton of rumors of him getting traded away at the deadline even if he’s having the best year of his young career. At first, there was a deal done that shipped him off to the Lakers. (YoYo Sound) Luckily the trade was off because the NBA caught LA for tampering. Honestly that was the best thing possible for both sides. Both Williams and Dalton Knecht are way too valuable to trade away. (Well Charlotte may have finally found their elite center they’ve been missing for years) In recent years the Hornets have been terrible because of their defense, this year it’s the other way around. But hey they have the worst record in the league on the road by a country mile so the fans are guaranteed a good time at Spectrum Center. A good distraction before Charlotte FC opens up their season in the MLS. Not much else to be said here.
Chicago Bulls (ChiTowns Mom And Pop Shop): The Bulls are finally getting to the point where they’re considering a massive rebuild and/or tank brigade. Honestly this should have happened at the turn of the decade, but management was so jealous of their I-94 rivals winning a championship, so they had to go big game hunting to regain their supremacy. That plan failed, and this year is the culmination of it. Yes Lonzo Ball is finally healthy at long last. But the sands in the hour glass have run out. Remember when you guys traded DeMar DeRozan to the Kings in the offseason. Well that’s where Zach LaVine is going too. (Sounds like a desperate organization to me. Not the Bulls the Kings) Won’t you look at that, not even a week after the deadline, they’ve been punched in the mouth in nearly every single game especially against Detroit. I feel bad for Nikola Vucevic. He was stuck in Orlando when they were a gong show and now it’s the same for him in Chicago except he’s in the beginning of a steep decline. As I said with the White Sox during baseball season last year, this is what happens when a once great owner is well past his expiration date. And now the talks of replacing the United Center with a new arena in the suburbs are underway. Lovely.
Cleveland Cavaliers (A Revolution Wherever You Go): Where the hell did this come from? Look I get that Cleveland already has a strong team, and Kenny Atkinson is a solid coach, but THIS GOOD! Especially with how much turmoil Dan Gilbert was facing from firing Bickerstaff as well as not having any draft picks due to the Donovan Mitchell Trade? It comes to show you that getting off to a record start with a balanced attack on both sides of the ball can do wonders for a team. Starting 15-0 is one thing, but even without that, this team is still a legit contender. Like Boston they have multiple guys who can be their best player on a given night (Mitchell, Garland, and Mobley) and that usually drives the opposing coaching staff crazy. That plus Ty Jerome and Sam Merrill being sharpshooters off the bench to add even more fire to a dangerous lineup. The only players that’s had a down year this season are Dean Wade and Max Strus, and I expect both of them to get out of their early season slump in the 2nd Half. How does this squad get even more deadly? Why by trading for a 2 way stud in DeAndre Hunter. If there is one thing I must say it’s that Atkinson is making what was once known as Bandwagon World over there in Brooklyn eat endless amounts of crow. (If they don’t fire him after 2020, they win at least one ring and don’t trade for James Harden) Well the same can go in regards to Jarrett Allen and Darius Garland too.
Detroit Pistons (Freedom!): There has to be a miscalculation right here. A team that spit out one of the worst regular seasons in NBA History one year, does nothing in the offseason in regards to roster construction, all of a sudden is now in the hunt for a playoff spot. With that being said there is one conclusion to what I just said a few moments ago. Monty Williams was not the right coach to lead this team especially considering that he’s better suited for a team pushing towards a championship. You know what coach is good for a young team like Detroit? JB Bickerstaff. He might be getting overshadowed by his replacement in Cleveland this year, but he has so far restored the pride that this organization once had for so long. (A true win-win situation for both teams) It also helps that Cade Cunningham is not only healthy for a full season for the first time in his career but he’s finally playing up to the #1 overall pick expectations that were placed upon him when he was drafted. He’s not alone either. Jaden Ivey isn’t in a slump like last year, Malik Beasley might have been one of the biggest steals of the offseason a year ago, and oh yeah they brought back an old face in Tobias Harris for veteran influence and to score 15 a game. The window of opportunity has finally begun to open up after a long dry spell. Now can they do some damage ahead of schedule? I don’t know but house money is a dangerous vice indeed. Just ask this team about how that worked out for them a year ago…
Indiana Pacers (No Hangover Here): It was looking a little shaky at first. For the first two months, the Pacers were a team that was stuck in mediocrity. The heights of last year’s run to the Eastern Conference Finals may have taken a toll on them, plus Myles Turner wasn’t at full strength early on and Tyrese Haliburton was in a massive slump. Since the turn of the new year lets just say all of those concerns were a thing of the past. Indiana has looked like the same squad that shocked the league a year ago but not themselves. Everyone has upped their game, and their speed and depth has been a nightmare for most opponents they’ve faced. I won’t go too hard on them for only getting a decent backup in Thomas Bryant at the deadline, especially considering that Andrew Nembhard and Aaron Nesmith were injured and are now healthy. Speaking of a player who’s now healthy. Bennedict Mathurin. Him not being on the active roster last postseason must have fueled him in every sense of the word. And you can see it in his eyes throughout this season. They should be able to make it back to the playoffs but seeding really is the only question. If they get the 4 or 5 seed with that crowd for a 1st Round series watch out.
Miami Heat (NadaYada Island): I hate to say this but I can’t pay any attention to what’s happening on the court with this team. It’s not like the Heat were in bad shape. They still had a good chunk of their roster from that 2023 Finals run and were pursuing a spot in the playoffs. Key word is was. Remember this offseason when we all thought that the Jimmy Butler wanting out of Miami headline was crazy during that Bad Boys commercial? (BOOM!) BACK TO REALITY OH THERE GOES ALL THE GRAVITY IN THIS DAMN ROOM! It got so bad to the point where the Heat suspended him from team operations for not being present to practices or games. And it wasn’t because he wanted a new contract. Butler was upset at Pat Riley for not chasing a superstar in particular Damian Lillard or Kevin Durant. Honestly I don’t blame Riley for taking that risk considering that Miami has had such a good track record at drafting and player development. Come the trade deadline, Butler was begging them to trade him to Phoenix so he could be with KD and Booker, what was Riley’s response? (YoYou Sound) WE NEED TO KIDNAP HIM PUT HIM IN A MOVING TRUCK AND TRANSPORT HIM OVERNIGHT TO THE BAY AREA! Who cares if Andrew Wiggins is injury prone, have you seen how well Tyler Herro is playing this year? He, Bam, and Spoelstra have dragged this team kicking and screaming to relevance, and they’ll still make the playoffs even without the face of the franchise… THE HELL DO YOU MEAN THEY’RE 0-4 SINCE THE BUTLER TRADE!!!
Milwaukee Bucks (The Great Haslam Wacky-Taxi): My gosh this season has been a total roller coaster ride at Fiserv Forum hasn’t it? At the start of the year, the Bucks were one of the biggest embarrassments in all of basketball, Doc Rivers’ seat was boiling, and all the talk was about how Giannis’ days in Milwaukee were numbered. Hell I even threw this team under the bus on the air for PSSN for crying out loud. (When you start the year 2-8, you have every reason to be upset) Just like a certain Injection of Fire sparked a certain team from Baltimore after they started 0-2 in the NFL season, Milwaukee took my negative comments and ran with them. To the tune of winning the In-Season Tournament and at one point challenging the Cavs and Celtics for the top spot in the East. They’ve cooled off since mid January but at least the slump was a fluke. (It’s certainly better than where they were in November) However this team has no depth, they have cavemen all over the roster especially Brook Lopez and Pat Connaughton, and most importantly, Giannis and Dame are literally and I mean literally covering up every single flaw that this organization has gotten themselves into since Marc Lasry sold the team in 2023. I would say Khris Middleton but unfortunately his time in the Cream City had to come to an end. It’s sad to see him go especially given what he did in their championship run, but with how badly his knee has been damaged over the past few years it was best that both parties moved on. So who did the Bucks get in return for Kash Money at the trade deadline? (DRAMATIC MUSIC!) KYLE KUZMA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (And they also traded for Kevin Porter Jr, he who assaulted his ex-girlfriend last year. NEVER CHANGE HASLAM!)
New York Knicks (A Breeze For Now): Survey says that the Knicks are once again among the Eastern Conference’s elite. After a rough first 15 games, everything has gone according to plan. Well excluding a minor skid in early January. Their starting five is among the best in the association considering that all five starters average over 15 a game. Karl Anthony Towns has been the franchise center that MSG has been missing since Patrick Ewing, Mikal Bridges is as good as advertised despite the hefty price to get him, and oh yeah Jalen Brunson is in his prime. The only issue I have with the Knicks is their lack of depth. Sure Miles McBride is a decent 6th Man but what else is there? Well in their defense they threw everything at Towns and Bridges which explains a lot. I know the playoffs are still a couple of months away but the pressure to go deep is going to be extreme. Especially considering that Tom Thibodeau is on the de facto hot seat. Why you ask? Because their owner is James Dolan and he, like George Steinbrenner before him, loves hypothetically blowing up the universe. We saw it with Gerard Gallant after the Rangers lost in the 1st Round in a year where they traded for Patrick Kane and Vladamir Tarasenko, and it wouldn’t surprise me if it happened again. (In Thibs defense he is one major injury to his starting five away from having supreme job security in 2026)
Orlando Magic (Searching For Tricks): If I’m a Magic fan I wouldn’t be upset with how this season has gone so far. Yes there were high expectations placed on them after coming within one game of the 2nd Round. But from how I see it the reason that they’ve taken a step back in the W-L column is because there isn’t the element of surprise like there was a year ago and their opponents are taking them more seriously. There have been some good signs this year. The Wagner Bros are leading the way on both sides of the ball (Mo may not be averaging the same amount of points Franz is averaging yet excels at everything else) Banchero is putting up his typical 20 PPG average, and Jalen Suggs is a ball hawking thief defensively. That’s nice but what has been Orlando’s downfall this year? INCONSISTENCY! I’m looking right at KCP and Cole Anthony. Not to mention they had a center dilemma especially since Wendell Carter is YOU GUESSED IT! Inconsistent! Promoting Mo Wagner to that spot should help, but if the others are able to play up to their potential then they could sneak up on a bunch of teams in the East. They’ll need it too, especially since they went on a rough skid at the end of January. That’s not good if you’re trying to make a push at a postseason spot just saying.
Philadelphia 76ers (It’s Always Stormy In Philly): LADIES AND GENTLEMEN STEP RIGHT UP AND WITNESS ONE OF THE BIGGEST GONG SHOWS IN ALL OF THE NBA! When the Sixers are a terrible directionless basketball franchise, we all win. Every basketball fan from New York, to Boston, to Milwaukee unite to drink in celebration. For a miserable Philadelphian is music to their ears. If losing in the 2nd Round almost every time isn’t bad enough, then you haven’t seen anything yet. Remember how the Sixers were looked at as a team that could make the Finals? Especially with Joel Embiid at full strength and the big signing of Paul George. What we didn’t take into consideration was that Embiid not only has been injured for most of the season like always but he was suspended for shoving a reporter at the start of the year. From that moment on the rest of the team got deer in the headlights and decided to pull off their playoff nonsense in the regular season. At this moment I’m starting to believe that Nick Nurse was carried to relevance by Drake and Kawhi. Besides that year and maybe 2022, name me one good thing he’s done as a coach? YOU CAN’T! Then there’s PG13. He would be having a solid year if he was making $20M. Here’s the thing. The Sixers are giving him $45M for the next five years, and he’s in his mid-30s and starting to decline. Tyrese Maxey and Jared McCain are the only reasons why this team is even watchable. Seriously what happened to all of that depth they signed? Andre Drummond, Reggie Jackson, Caleb Martin? HELLO! Just when you think it can’t get worse for this franchise, they always find a way to dig deeper. Hey at least the Eagles won a Super Bowl and ended the ERAS Tour so that’ll ease the pain of this agonizing season I guess.
Toronto Raptors (The 48th Highlanders of Rebuilding): At least they aren’t complete garbage. That I can say is a positive. I know some people say that the Raptors shouldn’t be this bad especially with the years that RJ Barrett and Gradey Dick are having, but when you consider that there isn’t much depth or coaching structure it honestly isn’t surprising. Especially considering that they have one of the worst defenses in the league giving up 118 PPG. Although I will say, Toronto has done a very good job on playing the long range game this season. Instead of selling pieces at the deadline, they wanted to make a push at a better tomorrow by adding despite being well out of the race. Lets see, oooh trading for Brandon Ingram and then giving him an extension locking him up for the next few years. Not bad. Plus they’re close to extending Scottie Barnes too. It’s an interesting timeline for the Raptors bad record aside. I have this feeling that they’re going to mess up their tank, play spoiler on a bunch of teams’ playoff hopes and then ride that momentum into 2026. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if they pulled that off. At least they retired Vince Carter’s #15 as a way to pay homage to the 25th Anniversary of him changing the Dunk Contest forever. (“IT’S OVER! IT’S OVER LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!” -Kenny Smith)
Washington Wizards (The New New New NEW! Worst Season Ever): The past five years for Washington have been irrelevant. Other than 2021 you could erase them from the Wikipedia section of those seasons and the NBA would be no different. This year is more of the same. Ever since Sashi Brown left the Wizards for the Baltimore Ravens, it’s been downhill for this franchise and they haven’t found any way of getting out of it. And this year may be one of the biggest tanks they’ve ever had. Try two separate 16 game losing streaks, most of those losses being by double digits. They’re on pace to set the record for the worst point differential in a season in NBA History, and that’s the only accomplishment they’ll have this season if they get there outside of possibly the #1 pick in the draft. Jordan Poole this is why you don’t punch Draymond Green in practice, because if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be stuck in this gong show for a long period of time considering that Washington owes you $27M a year for the next 3 years. They did get a good return for Kyle Kuzma but that’s only because Jimmy Haslam hates the term loyalty. From how I see it the Monumental Sports Company is doing their own version of The Process and so far it hasn’t worked out. And the only way it does is if every single thing goes their way both in the draft and on the court. They’ve got their work cut out of them but honestly I don’t blame them for trying this.
Bragging Rights Sports 