Another postseason full of excitement yet predictability is finally at its boiling point. Let’s just say it’s been complicated. I don’t know whether I should be excited for the Super Bowl given the spectacle of the event or loathe the fact that Roger Goodell is making Adam Silver hold his drink when it comes to constant narratives for years on end. How did we get to this point?
Pittsburgh Steelers (Standard For Mediocrity): This game was a perfect example as to why every single Yinzer wants Mike Tomlin chucked into the Allegheny at first sight. (Not happening because they didn’t do this to Chuck Noll in the 80s) The most expensive defense in football having no answers for King Henry or anything the Ravens threw at them. That 13 play drive that the Steelers gave up in the 2nd Quarter which didn’t see a single pass thrown by Lamar Jackson is all you need to know. (Not even the Curse of January 11 could stop the Ravens on this night) I know the narrative is to say that Russell Wilson is washed up and that Arthur Smith is overrated but they weren’t the main reasons why they lost. (Wilson got no help from Jaylen Warren and Najee in particular) TJ? Minkah? Highsmith? You can show up anytime you guys. (And those 3 guys have all been Raven Killers over the years. Not here!) The most incredible thing is that despite the massive need for an organizational overhaul, nothing’s going to change because Art Rooney is a diehard fan of the term loyalty. Let me guess, they’re going to sign Sam Darnold this offseason and bring out a bunch of legends from the 1970s to talk about family and the Steeler Way. Losing 6 straight playoff games in convincing fashion and refusing to evolve is not the sign of a healthy organization And even worse, Pittsburgh has now lost the one thing they could always hold their heads high up on. Tormenting Baltimore. FOR SHAME! “GO TO THE CHURCH AND ASK GOD TO FORGIVE YOU!” (Marlon Humphrey’s pick six in Week 16 shifted the balance of power in the rivalry)
Denver Broncos (Mo Money Mo Pix): “WE WANT BUFFALO! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! WE WANT BUFFALO! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!” When will people learn that you don’t call your shot before a game has been played. You’re asking for punishment. You want Buffalo? YOU’LL GET BUFFALO! All of it with some Buffalo wings and a side of fries. Even more insane is that the Broncos had a chance to pull off a monumental upset. The Bills were sluggish early on offensively, and Denver kept it close for 3 quarters. (BUZZER!) Then Will Lutz hit the uprights. That moment turned the whole momentum of the game. (That and a 4th and 1 circus catch) The Bills completely suffocated the Broncos shortly afterwards as Bo Nix and company shot blanks. Other than the opening drive, that offense was shut out the rest of the game. Yes Buffalo’s defense has gotten significantly better since they got mauled by the Rams, but Nix had the chance to carve them up and didn’t. (Do you think they were really going to beat Josh Allen and company? NO!) In their defense, the Broncos exceeded expectations this year, but being in the AFC West is not going to be an easy task. Mount Walmart you’ve got your work cut out for you. At least you have a good amount of cap space to bolster the offense. (If only they weren’t paying Mr Unlimited nearly $50M in dead cap) “I EXPECT NOTHING AND I’M STILL LET DOWN!”
Los Angeles Chargers (Life Comes At You Fast): We tried to warn you. We tried telling you that Greg Roman is the definition of a choke artist in January but NOOOOOOO! You just had to try skinning the Ravens alive in hopes that you’d finally overcome the narratives of Chargering. Well guess what? They got smacked in an alleyway for 60 minutes. Justin Herbert had the worst game of his career bar none. (The lack of a game changing WR haunted them all year) 4 interceptions including a pick six. The Bolts defense was hung out to dry, and by the time the 3rd Quarter came to an end they were out of gas. When you get outscored 32-6 from the 2nd Quarter on, no coaching in the world can save you. I can’t even blame Steve Saunders for messing up Gus Edwards’ rehab from a midseason injury, LA just got blasted. Luckily for Jim Harbaugh and Joe Hortiz, they’ve got a lot to improve on. $65M in cap space, and a ton of draft capital will do the trick. Even if this was an ugly loss, they’ll be back here again. Can you really say it’s Vintage Chargering when they had no expectations to start the year even if they were favored to win this game? Yeah only considering that the media all but handed them a rematch at Arrowhead against the Chiefs. You get what you deserve. BUENAS NOCHES SPANOS! (My answer is no, but I’ll take the heat for saying that)
Minnesota Vikings (1999 Jacksonville Jaguars): The Vikings. That is all you need to know. Even in a year that sees them defy every single doubter and naysayer in the land, they still find ways to break their long suffering fans’ hearts. Minnesota had a perfect season… if you exclude each of their losses to both Detroit’s favorite son and Detroit’s favorite team. (Hell Kevin O’Connell said that he couldn’t wait to play them again) They went a combined 0-4 against the Lions and Matthew Stafford. Not even a technical home game in Arizona because the wildfires of California pushed the Rams out of SoFi could stop another playoff dud. Sam Darnold was due for a legacy game, and he delivered. (It’s as if he never left Adam Gase) Too bad it further proved his reputation of seeing ghosts against coaches like McVay. But to be honest, the Vikings were probably losing this game regardless of whether Darnold played bad or not. The normally reliable defense got shredded in the 1st Half as LA kept pouring it on. (McVay got his revenge on Brian Flores for Super Bowl LIII big time) Even in one of the most shocking and exciting seasons in their history, the Skol Army remains among the red headed stepchildren of the NFC. You know what would be funny? If they ditched Darnold and brought in Aaron Rodgers so that he could complete the Brett Favre arc. “Oh but they have JJ McCarthy!” Tavares Jackson led them to the playoffs in 2008, and it didn’t stop them from getting Favre. In other words, say the line Paul; “ARE YOU KIDDING ME! THE SEASON CAN’T END LIKE THAT!”
Green Bay Packers (Out-Cheesed): (Beethoven’s 5th Symphony theme playing) If the Packers were already limping into the playoffs with Jaire Alexander and Christian Watson being injured long term, then my gosh it got only worse for them once the tournament began. (This is karma for all of the “God is a Packers fan” claims by the Cheeseheads back in September) Just like what San Francisco had to deal with two years ago, it’s as if Veterans Stadium wasn’t imploded. Green Bay’s hopes were dashed from the moment they fumbled the opening kickoff. And to add more insult to injury Romeo Dobbs was knocked out of the game late in the 1st Half. But even then, without their two best weapons, the Packers delivered their traditional January heartbreak. (Yes they have 13 championships but since 2011 its been unlimited agony) Philly was getting overconfident and sloppy. Jalen Hurts was very rusty in his first game back from injury. But then Jordan Love couldn’t duplicate the magic of last year against Dallas. This was by far the worst game of his career. 3 interceptions, and sacked 5 times. Yes the Eagles defense is a brick wall, but Nakobe Dean was knocked out cold in this game, and they did nothing about it. Even though they were undermanned by a significant margin, the Packies beat themselves at the worst possible times. (Controversial, but hey my point still stands) They have a strong roster all things considered but as I said with the Miami Heat in the NBA a few years ago, health is the biggest thing that’s going to hold them back from greatness. Just like 2014 they were eliminated by the team that beat them on Opening Night on National TV. Only a Brick Wall could stop you, ITS NAME IS THE EAGLES! (COUNT ON IT ALL YOU WHIPPERSNAPPERS!) NEXT!
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Rally Duck Destroyed): (Jaws theme playing) The NFL sometimes can best be considered as a league where you have to have the right bounces to go far. Tampa Bay did not get such a bounty in this game. Although in fairness to them, they put up a very strong fight even in defeat. In what was looked at as the most boring game on paper during the week, it just so happened to be the most interesting. (A big reason why I was against putting that game on SNF) Both Baker Mayfield and Jayden Daniels each made a few errors here and there, (Especially Daniels on a 4th and Short late in the game) but both of them wanted to outgun the other badly. Unfortunately this game would be decided by which team made the most mistakes. That team would be the Buccaneers. It took them this long to finally miss Chris Godwin, but in fairness to them Marshon Lattimore has had an outstanding track record against Mike Evans. However the killing blow was Baker fumbling deep in his own end only for the Commies to take full advantage to tie the game. And then Washington forced a 3 and out setting up the chance to send Tampa home. “The Washington Commanders… OFF THE UPRIGHT! AND IT IS IN! THEY DOINKED THEIR WAY TO THE DIVISIONAL ROUND! UNBELIEVABLE!” (Shades of the 1999 Playoffs but in reverse) Tough luck Bucs, Zane Gonzalez pulled a Vanderjagt and sent your fans home in agony. (And by Vanderjagt, I mean the field goal he made on MNF in 2003 in Dungy’s Homecoming) Trust me it sucks but you’ll be back here again. As long as Godwin and Winfield come back that is. (The DC Area now has hope, OH DEAR GOD!) “BOY, THAT ESCALATED QUICKLY!”
Houston Texans (Well They Tried): Did you seriously expect Roger Goodell to let the Texans, the least successful franchise in the league, make it past the Mighty Swiftie Empire, 3-peat narratives, and the NFL’s answer to the 1990s Chicago Bulls? HECK TO THE NO! (Caitlyn Clark in attendance is further evidence of such thinking) Despite the elements stacked against them, this was a game where Houston had countless opportunities to prove their status among the AFC’s Elite. (Where was that narrative for most of the season?) Kansas City was very rusty out of the gate, in particular their receiver room not named Travis Kelce. (25 days of rest is not good for a team’s MO. Except if you’re KC) Joe Mixon was running wild on their vaunted defense, Chris Jones was held in check, and in the 3rd Quarter it was looking as if chaos would occur. But just like Week 16 the Texans were dead the moment Ka’imi Fairbairn missed a game tying extra point. (The 2nd straight year a missed kick of his changed the whole momentum of a playoff game) One of three kicks he missed on the day in total. From there, the Chiefs woke up from their 1st Half slump and sent the Texans straight into the pit of misery. Although it won’t stop players, fans, hell even Joe Buck and Troy Aikman from complaining about the Swiftie Handicap. Not even a year after being considered as a top head coaching candidate, Bobby Slowik was fired by Cal McNair and he’ll probably head back to San Francisco in no time. (Mike Macdonald last year in the playoffs laid his flaws bare for everyone to see. That’s my only conclusion) Just like most times throughout the history of football in Houston, a promising situation becomes a recurring theme of not being able to get past the big boys. Some things never change do they? NEXT!
Baltimore Ravens (The NFL’s Penn State): (Journey to Rome theme playing) When Jerry Coleman called Buffalo the Worst Sports City in the USA, that was when I knew the Ravens would lose this game. (Luckily for him, this only aged for about a week) Let me guess, a Baltimore team with championship ambitions gets eliminated because two of their more reliable players lay an egg, and a major strength of the team gets exposed. It happened again! In this case Tyler Linderbaum and Mark Andrews decided to have the worst games of their careers, and the Ravens vaunted run defense got gashed all game long. (2 forced turnovers in their last 10 playoff games dating back to 2014. YUCK!) However that wasn’t painful enough for the entirety of Charm City. The Boys in Purple mounted a furious comeback in the 2nd Half. Lamar Jackson overcame two early turnovers and literally put the team on his back down the stretch. Derrick Henry after a slow 1st Half was also starting to run wild. But then Mandrews reinforced his reputation as the modern day Todd Heap just as the Ravens were about to grasp victory. (Great player but crumbles at the worst times) Not only did he fumble the ball in scoring range down by 5, but he dropped the game tying 2 point conversion with 1:30 left. Even if he caught that, Buffalo was winning that game anyways. Why? Because they would have given Josh Allen 100 seconds with all three timeouts and only needing to go 35 yards for a game winning field goal. (Marlon Humphrey and ArDarius Washington were out of the game due to injury at that moment too) Flock Nation wants John Harbaugh outta here? Not happening because you do realize that replacing would be like replacing Earl Weaver and Steve Bisciotti is a Rooney in all but name. Not to mention he and Eric DeCosta are probably getting extended in the offseason and they’re possibly breaking their nearly 15 year tradition of not trading their 1st Round pick. What do you want for Micah, Dallas? “YOU HAD AN OPPORTUNITY AND YOU BLEW IT!” (The Curse of Freddie Gray strikes again. 3-12 in the postseason NFL and MLB combined)
Los Angeles Rams (Snowballed): Once again the Rams overcame a slow start due to injuries and inconsistent play and made it further than most people thought after said slow start. The prize in the end is pretty much similar as in years past. (Excluding 2021 we were cancelled that year due to an incident at SoFi in February) Putting up an excellent fight against a top contender only to run out of gas in the end. LA had their chances. Jalen Hurts was visibly injured yet again. Nick Sirriani was playing not to lose. And Philly’s vaunted secondary had no answers for Kupp and Nucua. Yet the biggest backbreaker was two costly fumbles by the normally sure handed Kyren Williams. The Eagles will obviously capitalize on them because that’s what most teams with their level of talent do in a given spot like that. Even after all of that, the Rams still were in this game despite not taking advantage of countless opportunities early in the game. What was once a 14 point lead by Philly late in the game turned into one of the typical passing clinics by Matthew Stafford. (2024 Saquon vs Rams = 2003 Jamal Lewis vs Browns) The chance to make premium salt in the Delaware Valley Area was there for the taking. 20 yards separated them from a home NFC Championship Game just like in their Super Bowl a few years ago. (BUZZER!) But then they can’t block Jalen Carter, and Stafford develops happy feet at the worst moment. The Rams lose, Pokemon McVay loses his juju when victory is all but in his hands, wash rinse repeat. At least Jared Verse and Braden Fiske are going to be monsters long term. And you have a ton of cap space and draft capital. Yup, they’ll be a force next year for sure. (The NFL would have really enjoyed going to SoFi for that NFC Championship, wouldn’t they) NEXT!
Detroit Lions (60 Minutes Of Agony): (Death theme playing) Only in Detroit where the most enchanted season that this franchise has seen since the days of Bobby Layne is squandered thanks to one of the most shocking playoff defeats in recent memory. (I know a thing or two about these kinds of losses. It freaking hurts) When everything was pointing up for the Lions to make it to their first Super Bowl, they got absolutely smacked on their home soil in what should have been a manageable situation. The narrative in most cases would be to blame Jared Goff. (Or as UrinatingTree calls him, Jared Goof) The 3 interceptions including a pick six would be a strong argument as to why Goff should get most of the blame. But do you want to know why Detroit really lost this game? It was because their defense got torched all game by Jayden Daniels and Scary Terry. 49 points against. (The Aidan Hutchinson injury finally bit them in the ass) Yes they were banged up on that side of the ball, but even if most of those guys were healthy I’m not sure it would have mattered. Washington was on a mission and it showed throughout the game. (I feel like the Lions may have pressed too much but the Commies had excellent scheming) To be honest even if the future may seem bright in Motown, I have no idea where they go from here. This is the kind of loss that takes a few years to recover from. Ben Johnson and Aaron Glenn may have gotten hired away, but in the long run Detroit may be better off considering that those coaches could be broken by this game. (It happened to Greg Roman and Wink Martindale in Baltimore after 2019 vs the Titans) That alone should ease the pain of this game. If only the Curse of Bobby Layne wasn’t so strong. “YOU BLEW IT BOY! YOU REALLY BLEW IT!”
Buffalo Bills (Boy I Love Losing (To The) Swifties): (Deja Vu playing) CONGRATULATIONS YOUR TEAM STILL CAN’T MAKE IT PAST THE ULTIMATE BOOGEYMAN! BillsMafia knows this truth very well. Remember when Buffalo lost 4 straight Super Bowls because they suffered the misfortune of playing in an era where the NFC absolutely owned the AFC in the Big Game? The younger generation of that fanbase gets to witness the same crap that their parents and grandparents did back in the 1990s. (Except this is worse because they haven’t even gotten to the Super Bowl since then) Despite all of the feel good stories of this season, how the Bills exceeded the expectations of 2024 being a rebuilding year, they still can’t make it past Kansas City. And just like last year, they had countless opportunities to win only for Josh Allen and company to always be one step behind the Chiefs. But even then it won’t stop Buffalonians from crying foul. (I said before the game if the Chiefs can’t win, the refs will win it for them) The Bills had a 1 point lead deep into the 4th Quarter. Josh Allen is money in short yardage situations. (BUZZER!) And he couldn’t gain a yard on a QB sneak if his life depended on it. “Oh but he converted a 4th and 1 to keep the drive alive.” (BUZZER!) TOO BAD BECAUSE THE NFL HAS MONEY ON THE SWIFTIES YET AGAIN! It’s at this moment where Patrick Mahomes goes into god mode and suffocates his competition. But yes even with that being said, the Bills have a chance to force OT or possibly win the game with a final drive. (BUZZER!) But then Dalton Kincaid couldn’t haul in a 4th and 8 desperation ball. (Live by a dropped pass by a TE. Die by a dropped pass by a TE) Kansas City takes advantage of that Turnover on Downs and runs out the clock. This game is a worthy edition to the tortured history of both the Bills and the Buffalo McKinley Curse. Kids this is why you can’t make any mistakes against the Chiefs REFBALL or not. Because one small mistake opens the floodgates. (The Bills learned this the hard way with Dallas in 1992 and 1993) And no McDermott and Beane shouldn’t be on the hot seat because they did a great job given the hand they were dealt. NEXT!
Washington Commanders (Body Bags Anyone?): Well Washington, here’s the part where the clock on the most improbable turnaround in franchise history strikes midnight. You can’t even blame the Commies for being destroyed all game long, they just happened to run into a high speed SEPTA train rolling down the tracks. This game was over the moment Saquon went 60 yards for a touchdown on the Eagles first offensive play from scrimmage. (Wilbert Montgomery would be pleased) That right there set the tone. Jayden Daniels, despite his efforts, was not going to overcome the relentless onslaught of green jerseys coming to destroy the base. (Outside of Scary Terry and Zach Ertz, the rest of the offense failed him badly) Washington’s biggest flaw all season long was their defense, and it got blasted both on the ground and through the air. (This is where they really missed DaRon Payne) Not to mention all four times they turned the ball over including three backbreaking fumbles, the Eagles took advantage and scored touchdowns almost immediately. (Ironic since that’s how the Commies upset the Lions) You know what’s funny? Frankie Luvu was so eager to try and stop the Brotherly Shove, that he jumped offsides on 3 straight plays. If there was any further damage, it would have been a free touchdown. If you thought that was hilarious enough, here’s the piece de resistance. This game was the ultimate poetic justice for Philadelphia. Not only did the Eagles set the record for most points scored in a Conference Championship Game (They ran out TD fireworks as a result), but they also rubbed salt on Josh Harris’ wound. No wonder why the fans in attendance were chanting for him to sell the 76ers despite all of his success this past year with the Commies. (This is probably his greatest accomplishment in Philly since he bought the Sixers) PAUSE.
This postseason was quite predictable. Other than Washington beating Tampa and Detroit, every single home team went unbeaten in the playoffs, mostly to the surprise of no one. Now we’ve made it to the final stage. Alright, bring out the NFL’s version Captain Obvious;
Kansas City Chiefs: (Bad Blood playing) This was the outcome that the majority of America could see coming from a mile away. Kansas City making it back to the big game yet again. YAWN! As much as the Marylander in me didn’t want to admit this prior to the season, this was months in the making. Even though the undefeated narrative was squashed around midseason to the frustration of every single talking head on a major sports network (Nick Wright and Dan Orlovsky I’m looking right at you) the Chiefs have made it here regardless. Even with Rashee Rice being on IR since Week 4, plus massive questions on the Offensive Line, and playing a ton of close games throughout the season, KC has done what they’ve done for years. Suckering their opponents into going away from their strengths to the point where the opposing QB has to play Hero Ball and they pounce on every single mistake that said opponent makes. (And yes they get help from the zebras too if need be) It’s how they won it all last year, and it hasn’t changed one bit. Houston and Buffalo were the unlucky servants who had to deal with this unavoidable situation. Like the previous championship seasons Patrick Mahomes leads the way both on and off the field. Even though he may not have the backyard type heroics of years past, if there’s one thing that I’ll give him credit for it’s knowing when and where to take his chances. (He may have a ton of ads, but my gosh is his work ethic ridiculous) His stats may not be as impressive anymore, but it comes to show you how little that means to him. Now he’s on the verge of doing something that Montana, Brady, Manning, Unitas, and Elway never did. Win three straight Super Bowls. (The last QB to win three straight titles was Otto Graham from 1946-1950 between the AAFC and NFL) This year like the previous two years his supporting cast may lack true headliners, but depth and productivity everywhere you look. Isaiah Pacheco is still their bell cow RB but due to being injured for most of the year, he has seen a more limited role. Luckily for them, it gave Kareem Hunt the chance to come back after a 6 year hiatus. And he’s responded to this 2nd chance by turning back the clock to 2018. Their WR room is the same thing. Marquise Brown has been injured for most of the year and has been limited as well. But that opened the door for Kansas City to get an aging but still effective DeAndre Hopkins, the return of JuJu Smith Schuster free from WR hell that is New England, as well as a rookie speedster in Xavier Worthy. (I only await the moment for Nuke to wake up in the big game) Thank you Buffalo for drinking stupid juice on Draft Night yet again. Oh they still have Travis Kelce too just so we’re clear. Even though he’s suffered a decline this year in terms of being a pass catcher, he’s still a damn good run blocker. (His off the field saga which is out of his control has died down a bit, but all it takes is one spark to set the thing ablaze) Their O-Line may be the weakest its been in years especially with Joe Thuney being forced to play LT due to a few youngsters not being ready to step in, but he, Creed Humphrey, and Trey Smith have done their best to give Mahomes time to make plays. (You Gotta Fight For Your Right to Party playing) The Chiefs defense once again has been a major cog in their machine. It may not be as dominant as the unit that carried them to a Super Bowl last year, but they still can change the game at any time. Their Front 4 of George Karloftis, Mike Danna, a now healthy Charles Omenihu, and the perennially dominant Chris Jones has been a nightmare to go up against for any opposing O-Line. Buffalo had to learn this lesson the hard way in the AFC Championship. (Baltimore did so the year before too) Even if Willie Gay is gone, their LB room is still a problem for those trying to take off in the open field. Drue Tranquill and Nick Bolton have been leading the way like the last two years, but Leo Chenal has enjoyed his breakout season in a big way. And others have fed off of that. In the secondary, it’s still a rock solid unit even if last year’s anchor in L’Jarius Sneed got traded to the Titans. (Somehow, he might end up back in KC next year given that Tennessee may want to cut payroll) Trent McDuffie has taken the reins from Sneed and hasn’t missed a beat one bit. His running mate Jaylen Watson who missed the Super Bowl run last year due to injury can’t be slept on either. At safety Justin Reid is still a monster who can play both deep and at the line of scrimmage. So can Bryan Cook even though he might be considered the weak link. Their Specials Teams are still rock solid even if Harrison Butker missed time due to injury which has been an Andy Reid staple. He and Steve Spagnuolo are up to their old tricks yet again. Unlike their first two championships where they beat teams by having better talent, Kansas City has outsmarted their opponents, and they expose every flaw in that team’s arsenal. I said it last year and I’ll say it again. They’re not the new age Patriots. They’re the new age Chicago Bulls. A team that has prevented so many of this generation’s greatest players especially QBs from winning a Super Bowl with the most influential players and coaching staff that this league may have ever seen. And like those Bulls teams, their impact on the game globally has been tremendous. Yes the Taylor Swift saga has a massive role in this, and Patrick Mahomes being an advertising darling, but when you consider that Clark Hunt has successfully marketed the Chiefs towards plenty of international cities, you can’t deny the impact that they’ve had on the league around the world. (The reason why the NFL has so many international games now is because of Hunt’s influence) While everyone outside of Kansas City despises them because of the things I brought up, you have to respect them for the job they do, even if REFBALL has bailed them out quite often. Now the Chiefs stand one win away from doing something that has never ever been done in the Super Bowl Era. A 3 peat. Football’s version of The Proposal is going to be on everyone’s mind. Although a familiar face to the entirety of the Chiefs, Reid, Spags, and the majority of the Swifties is going to have something to say about that.
Philadelphia Eagles: (What’s My Name by DMX playing) The best team money can buy. That has been a narrative placed upon the Eagles over the past few seasons. And for good reasoning. Even though the NFL is the ultimate hard cap league, you can’t deny how many riches have been invested in order to get to this stage. And Philly has invested quite a lot of them into building the ultimate juggernaut I tell you. Their opponents from Green Bay, LA, and Washington saw this with their own two eyes, especially the Commies. (Not to mention nearly every single opponent of theirs since Week 5) When I saw them in Baltimore earlier this season impose their will on the Ravens, I thought to myself, if they keep playing like this, they can make it back to the Super Bowl. (They were without DeVonta Smith and Darius Slay in that game too) 8+ weeks later it’s fair to say that my prediction came true. (Being in the building for the NFC Title Game was a sight to behold) Many of the main weapons from their 2022 Super Bowl team are still intact. Jalen Hurts, AJ Brown, DeVonta Smith, Dallas Goedert, Kenneth Gainwell, and the most dominant O-Line in football led by Lane Johnson and Jordan Mailata. (And this is with Jason Kelce retiring after last year) But this year a few changes were made. Jahan Dotson was brought in as insurance just in case Smith or Brown were banged up. Even though he isn’t producing like he did at Penn State, you can’t truly ignore him. (Same with Will Shipley who will probably be the next Darren Sproles in no time) Speaking of PSU, the focal point of this offense is one of the most gifted RBs the NFL has seen in recent memory. Saquon Barkley. (Poor John Mara) He’s always had talent. After years of carrying the Giants on his back despite not much around him, he finally has gotten his chance to thrive on a real team. Let’s just say he’s become a Philly icon almost overnight thanks to a 2000 yard season on the ground. (If I had a vote for MVP, it would be for Saquon. Especially since he beat Lamar Jackson head to head in Week 13) When the most common comparison is 1998 Terrell Davis. (My best friend from Penn State Sports Night wants to banish the narrative that the MVP is a QB Award only. I 100% agree.) That’s downright incredible. You know what else has been incredible? Their defense. Vic Fangio’s return to Philly has given this unit a shot in the arm. All of that talent on that side of the ball has finally come together. (Just like with Kelce, losses of Fletcher Cox and Brandon Graham were rough… NOT!) In the middle they are led by two giants on the D-Line. Jordan Davis and Jalen Carter. These two Bulldogs have been as good as advertised and nothing seems to get by them. Not even the best RBs in the game. Off the edge they have the perennially underrated Josh Sweat, as well as Bryce Huff and Milton Williams. (I expected more out of Huff this year though than what I’ve gotten) At LB they are led by an emerging star in Zach Baun. He always had high upside in New Orleans but never broke out into his full potential. Since coming to Philadelphia, he’s become a major asset of their defense. A tackling machine in every sense of the word. It sucks that Nakobe Dean is out for the rest of the playoffs but Oren Burks has filled that role surprisingly better than I originally thought, especially with how played against Washington. Then we get to the secondary. The main reason as to why Philly’s defense has been a nightmare to play against. Nickname City as I like to call it. And my gosh they’ve backed up their bravado considering how many top offenses they’ve shut down this year. Big Play Slay, Quintanimo Bay, White Boy Summer, Blanken Coverage, and CJGJ. (In full translation: Darius Slay, Quinyon Mitchell, Cooper DeJean, Reed Blankenship, CJ Gardiner Johnson) DeJean and Mitchell have made James Bradberry into an afterthought given how good they’ve been as rookies. Ronnie Lott and Eric Wright reincarnated. The other three have been mainstays for the last few years even if Gardiner Johnson spent a year in Detroit. On Special Teams, they’re still among the best even if Jake Elliott has had a down year in regards to long range field goals. For as much as everyone, especially Philly fans have bashed Nick Sirianni for being over the top from time to time, he has done something that not even Andy Reid, Doug Pederson, or Dick Vermeil did during any of their timelines with the Eagles. And that’s making it to multiple Super Bowls. He’s had the most wins in his first four seasons than any coach in NFL History for crying out loud. Yes there’s a ton of talent on this team, but someone has to do their job to make sure all of them are blending in. And this is impressive considering that Philadelphia has one of the most negative media crews in the world let alone the United States. Although I do believe the reason why Sirianni doesn’t get enough credit is because Howie Roseman has been a wizard of a GM. Everything he’s touched for the most part since 2022 has turned to gold. Fleecing the Titans for AJ Brown, Saquon betraying Giants fans (Especially Tiki Barber), bringing back Vic Fangio, the Carson Wentz and Chris Olave trades, pretty much the whole nine yards. Jeffery Lurie said it best at the podium after the NFC Championship Game. The Super Bowl isn’t just a great accomplishment in Philly. It’s an expectation. Especially since Philadelphia is the definition of an all or nothing kind of town. And the Super Bowl is the ultimate all or nothing scenario. Will they finally overcome Kansas City the same way they overcame the Lombardi Packers, Landry Cowboys, or Belichick Patriots during most of their previous Super Bowl seasons win or lose? Or will they be the victims of maybe the most insufferable and predictable ending in NFL History. I don’t know, but either way there will be riots all over City Hall. PAUSE.
(Copacabana aka Coping and Seething playing) The NFL is officially screwed! THERE I SAID IT! This league has literally reached the same territory that the NBA did when it was Warriors vs. Cavs in the Finals for 4 straight years. (The MLB is about to join suit with Yankees vs Dodgers) That is the only way that the casual fan can best describe it myself included. Just like last year in Vegas, it’s a rematch of a previous Super Bowl won by patient zero. And either way it’s going to feature one insufferable fanbase winning out with the rest of the nation going into a salt mine. (Had San Francisco won last year, they would have tied the Patriots and Steelers with 6 Lombardi Trophies) You know what I find fascinating? Yes this is Kelce Bowl II even if Jason Kelce isn’t playing, but the major storyline of this game to me is simple. You know how there’s a myth that says only the person that powered something or someone with love can defeat them when it becomes evil. The same applies here. For those that don’t know this, for as unlikable as Taylor Swift is especially to Ravens and Bills fans, she did grow up as a die hard Eagles fan. (She has Super Bowl rings from both teams) If the insufferable ERAS Tour is going to end in New Orleans it would only be fitting that her favorite team growing up and the city where the tour all began would put an end to this crap. Personally I’d love to see it. The fact that the NFL as well as Mainstream Media won’t shut up about this has ticked myself and almost every diehard football fan off for the past two years. (That’s why I feel like the ratings will go down in this Super Bowl) This whole promotion has been used by Goodell and the league office to constantly troll fans around the country especially Baltimore, Buffalo, Dallas, and San Francisco. Why Dallas? Because the NFL wants the Chiefs to become the modern day America’s Team. Not to mention Philly wants revenge for Super Bowl LVII. One of the greatest games in Super Bowl History was decided thanks to “YOU GUESSED IT!” HEINOUS REFBALL! (The moment in which the NFL jumped the shark) Of course Kansas City took advantage of that 2nd chance and won the game. (The longest halftime period in Super Bowl History also played a major role in this outcome) There are only two outcomes. Arrogance from the Swifties, Mainstream Media, and all of Kansas City? Or arrogance from the City of Brotherly Love. Now I see why a ton of people want to boycott the Super Bowl.
Prediction: As I said above. The NFL is screwed. We hype this league’s parity way too much yet the same outcomes occur over and over again. The definition of Groundhog Day. (Put your little hand in mine, there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb) As has been the case all season and really since the Burrowhead Game in 2022 nothing is going to change in the eyes of Goodell and the league office. How do I know this? Because we all know what’s coming. As much as I would love to see the Chiefs fail this close to history, the outcome is going to be obvious before a snap has been played. (I would say that anything can happen, but have you seen this league over the last few years) Kansas City will 3-peat and we’re never going to hear the end of it from the Swifties and ESPN in particular because all they will talk about is the anticipation for America’s version of the Royal Wedding. COME ON EAGLES! PROVE ME WRONG FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS CHEESESTEAKS!
Bragging Rights Sports 