THE FOLLOWING IS AN EXCLUSIVE PRESENTATION OF BRAGGING RIGHTS SPORTS:
(Right Here, Right Now by Fatboy Slim playing)
“BRACE YOURSELVES”
“SINCE WE HAVE GONE SO FAR WE CAN GO NO FARTHER”
“NOW IS THE TIME”
“THE FUTURE IS TO THOSE WHO TAKE IT”
“WHAT WE DO IN LIFE, ECHOES IN ETERNITY”
“STRUGGLE, SURVIVAL”
“WE WILL BE PERFECT IN EVERY ASPECT OF THE GAME”
“WILL! YOU! EVER! QUIT! NOOOOOOOO!”
BRAGGING RIGHTS SPORTS PRESENTS
A MARYLAND CULTURE PRODUCTION
THE GREATEST ATMOSPHERE IN THE NFL 20 YEARS RUNNING
CHARM CITY BEASTS!
(SEASON 5) EPISODE 3: 2024 BLACKOUT SPECIAL: A CLASH OF MAFIAS
“A 6’2 MANIAC, FROM TOWSON, THE SALTY MARYLANDER!”
“A 6’3 FITNESS MAJOR, #101, EDGAR!”
“A 5’11 ENERGIZER BUNNY, #102, ALLAN!”
“A 5’1 SECRET WEAPON, #103, DARKNESS!”
“A 6’1 COOL KID, #1, POE!”
“A 5’8 FASHIONISTA, FROM MARYLAND, JENNIFER SHOEMAKER!”
“AND FINALLY, A 5’10 CORNERSTONE, FROM PENN STATE, MICHAEL HESSION!”
(September 28 2024, Buffalo NY)
Mafia Man: My army! Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! We are about to embark on a takeover bid of Baltimore Maryland! Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Mafia Man: Our target for this takeover is not M&T Bank Stadium, or anywhere in the Camden Yards Complex. WE ARE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE BIGGEST MALL IN BALTIMORE! Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Mafia Man: And by doing so we are going to take every product in that mall, put them in an evolution machine, and they will become Buffalo Sports gear, Buffalo Sports merchandise, and cardboard tables which will be stored in our brand new sports museum opening next fall. Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Mafia Man: HEY HEY! Crowd: HEY HEY! Mafia Man: HEY HEY! Crowd: HEY HEY! Mafia Man: LETS GO BUFFALO! Crowd: LETS GO BUFFALO! Man: LETS GO BUFFALO! Crowd: LETS GO BUFFALO! Mafia Man: WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU RATHER BE Crowd: THAN RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW!
(Charm City Beasts Headquarters, Baltimore MD)
Michael: In this week’s skit the Raven Brothers are playing Euchre. For those that don’t Euchre it is a card game where it’s 2v2 in which the first one to 10 points wins. There are five deals in a hand consisting of cards 8-Ace, and if you win that hand you get a point, if you take all five deals you get two points, if you go alone and get all five hands you get four points. Although if you are the dealer and you lose the hand, your opponent gets two points. Marylander: EUCHRED! BOB UECKER! Michael: Exactly Salty Marylander. Jennifer, who are the teams? Jennifer: It’s Edgar and Allan against Poe and Darkness. Michael: Ok then. I hear that Poe is very good at this game is he? Jennifer: He is, I played online Euchre with Poe last night, and he kicked my butt. Michael: So it looks like he’s ready to play. Poe: Whistling (YOU BET!) Michael: So it looks like Edgar’s the dealer since the first black jack landed on him. The first card is the suicide king aka the king of hearts Poe: Whistling (Pass) Allan: Whistling (Pass) Darkness: (Pick it up!) Michael: Oh lets what Darkness has up his sleeve? Darkness throws the jack of diamonds and oh boy he has the poker face already. Marylander: HE HAD BOTH JACKS! Michael: Yup that’ll get the momentum going. Never mind, Allan responds by throwing the ace of clubs. Marylander: THE SUICIDE KING! OH BUT DARKNESS THREW THE ACE OF HEARTS! Michael: And it’s 1-0 Poe/Darkness. Now it’s Poe’s turn as the dealer. Marylander: POWER CARD! Nine of spades. Allan: Whistling (Pass) Darkness: Whistling (Pass) Edgar: Whistling: (Pass) Poe: Whistling (PICK IT UP!) Michael: Looks like Poe has a potentially good hand. Marylander: Allan plays the ace of diamonds. Michael: Never mind Poe has that nine of spades. Marylander: AND THEN HE THROWS A JACK! Michael: Poe really wants to win this doesn’t he? Marylander: But one point was all he was ever going to get. Michael: It doesn’t matter he took the next hand, and then Darkness threw an ace on the final hand to give them a 2-0 lead.
(A FEW MOMENTS LATER)
Marylander: EUCHRED! BOB UECKER! Michael: Edgar and Allan have scored 7 of the last 11 points to take a 7-6 lead. Edgar: Whistling (Pass) Poe: Whistling (Pick it up, I’m going alone!) Marylander: POE IS TRYING TO END IT RIGHT NOW! Michael: Well it makes sense since he told Darkness to pick up the 10 of hearts. Marylander: JACK! JACK! SUICIDE KING! ACE OF HEARTS! KING OF DIAMONDS! GAME FREAKING OVER! WALK OFF GO ALONE! Michael: Normally that’s my line, but hey I’ll let you steal my thunder for this week. Just like that Poe and Darkness have stolen this skit in epic fashion on a walk off go alone by Poe. (Standings: Darkness 2, Edgar/Allan/Poe: 1) And speaking of Poe, he and Darkness are standing by with Jennifer. Jennifer: Thanks Michael, Poe how does it feel to have a moment like that where you had the perfect hand which ended up being the game winner. Poe: Whistling (You know Jennifer, I told you this last night, if I keep getting ridiculous hands to the point where I have the potential to go alone, I’m not gonna miss it) Jennifer: When Edgar and Allan euchred you guys in consecutive hands to overcome what was once a 5-0 lead, how were you able to stay focused despite how tough things got? Darkness: Whistling (Well, the thing about this game is that it’s all about momentum. When Poe told me to pick up that 10 of diamonds, I knew we had a great chance to win because now we had a jolt of optimism and look where we are) Jennifer: Thanks guys. PAUSE.
Michael: Headline time everyone. After their escape from JerryWorld despite nearly blowing a 28-6 lead, the Boys in Purple get a much needed first win of the season. The most enjoyable sight for most of America that week was watching King Henry give Jerry Jones every reason to regret that he didn’t sign him in the offseason. It was literally perfect, Henry has a house in Dallas, he trains there in the offseason, he was a slam dunk to sign with Dem Cowboys. Although in Jerry’s defense, King Henry took less money than what Jones offered and signed with the Ravens. So far, it’s working out. After two weeks of getting up to speed, the King had over 150 yards and two scores. Planet LJ says that getting him going is huge because it takes so much pressure off of myself and the rest of the offense. The worst nightmare for any defensive coordinator. Even as Baltimore found a way to win despite unkindly circumstances, the main criticism has been placed upon Justin Tucker. Him missing a field goal for a career high third straight game has everyone in this town wondering where or not he’s lost a step. Personally since Sam Koch retired, JT hasn’t been as dominant as he once was especially on long range kicks. Jordan Stout may be perhaps the most underrated punter in the league, but having a different holder for field goals certainly isn’t helping. (Same with LS Nick Moore being a shell of himself after being out all of last year due to a torn Achilles) I wonder how the media is reacting to where the Ravens are right now especially now that Buffalo is coming to town? (BOOM!) (ESPN, FS1, etc say Ravens have no chance to beat Bills in Week 4) Marylander: TIME TO COLLECT RECEIPTS! PAUSE.
Michael: What do you get when a team that’s trying to regain its identity after several changes in the offseason goes up against a freight train that has blown out two of its first three opponents on National Television. Well you get the entirety of mainstream media siding with BillsMafia and a certain fire god of a QB. Stop me when you’ve heard this story. The Ravens are at home against the media darling of the league who everyone says is the best team in football, and they all think it’s going to be a game where the Boys in Purple get run out the front door. As history has shown us beginning with the 09 Broncos, any team that has had such a claim to fame in the Harbaugh Era usually gets blown out by Baltimore themselves. This week the Ravens are looking to do that again. Yes the Bills have dominated the Cardinals, Dolphins, and Jaguars in their first three games despite many changes to their roster as well, this week is the litmus test. Can Buffalo overcome the Almighty Blackout in route to a 4-0 start. Speaking of the Blackout, no team outside of the AFC North has won in that atmosphere since 2007 where the Colts blew out Kyle Boller and company 44-20. (It wasn’t even that close, all of the Ravens points came in garbage time or on a kick return) And considering that the Ravens have injury concerns on the O-Line with Tyler Linderbaum not being 100%, and Michael Pierce being inactive, the theory is that Buffalo should exploit Zach Orr’s defense. But we need to remind everyone that the man he replaced also struggled in his first season up until Blackout Night. (This time though I won’t be giving Orr a pep talk in person like I did with Mike Man in 2022) Marylander: Play the clip buddy! Michael: Which one? Marylander: The one from Stephen A a couple of years ago. Michael: Alright. “The defense of the Baltimore Ravens, YOU! ARE! TRASH!” Well that narrative changed quickly after he said that, and I hope it’s the same here. Marylander: LOOK OUT BUFFALO WE’RE COMING! PAUSE.
Sidenote: Normally we would do a recap of the game based off of my narration but since this is a special feature that feels very much like a movie, we’re going to have a highlight reel of the 20th Anniversary Celebration of the Baltimore Blackout between the Ravens and Bills while we act out the battle between the main cast, and hundreds among hundreds of Buffalonians out to conquer the biggest mall in Baltimore. Yes I know this episode is going to get very long and there will be many people that could lose interest, but hey, these two unstoppable forces must take part in another significant battle. Enough talk, let’s get right to it. PAUSE.
(September 29 2024, Baltimore Harborplace Mall)
Mafian 1: LET’S MOVE MOVE MOVE! (BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!) Mafia Man: WE’VE GOT OUR ARMY COMING FROM ALL DIRECTIONS! WE’RE ABOUT TO BE ON TOP OF THE WORLD! TAYLOR SWIFT YOU ARE NO LONGER GOING TO HOLD THE TITLE OF MOST HATED FIGURE IN BALTIMORE! THAT’S GOING TO BE MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(Charm City Beasts Headquarters)
(ALARM SIREN!) Poe: Whistling (Uh Oh) Allan: Whistling (What is this) Michael: You’ve gotta be kidding me? Jennifer: What is it my love? Michael: The Harborplace Mall downtown is being invaded by hundreds among hundreds of people. Marylander: WHAT ARE DOING THERE! Michael: They’re trying to rob the entire mall from what it looks like, and they’re all over that giant shopping center. Jennifer: They’re coming in from the roof as well as the ground floor. Darkness: Whistling (Where could these robbers be from) Michael: There’s only one place they could be from… BUFFALO! Jennifer: And it makes sense since they have dozens of ships and helicopters in red white. Michael: Guys, this may be the biggest threat we’ve ever faced that’s tried to invade Baltimore. Marylander: Even the Swiftie Empire? Michael: Yes, even Taylor Swift and her army didn’t have as many troops as this group of Buffalonians when they attacked us back in January. Edgar: Whistling (We need to bring out the big guns for this one) Marylander: THAT’S RIGHT! WE’RE GOING BIG GAME HUNTING TONIGHT! Michael: Before we go we need to put on our Blackout gear for this one. (WHOOSH!) “B-MORE! THERE I SAID IT! B-MORE! THIS IS FLOCK NATION! PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE Y’ALL! ALL BLACK EVERYTHING! BLACK CARDS BLACK CARS ALL BLACK EVERYTHING!” Marylander: LET’S DO THIS! Edgar: Whistling (FLEXING TIME!) Allan: Whistling (GET HYPED!) Darkness: Whistling (Back in Black!) Poe: Whistling (I’M READY!) Jennifer: AH! DO I LOOK SO GOOD RIGHT NOW! Michael: COME ONNNNNNNNN! Jennifer: This is why we’re all here. Moments like this are what we live for. Michael: I know Jennifer. By the way, you look gorgeous tonight. As usual. Jennifer: Thank you, MWA! Michael: Hm. Alright, as we know there are hundreds of Buffalonians invading Harborplace, so to make things easier. I’ve installed a 360 degree camera that will allow us to have a view of the entire shopping center. Poe since you have the best eyesight out of us all, I want you in charge of the camera. Poe: Whistling (SWEET!) Michael: I’m going to put this right on your forehead, and…… there. How do you like it? Poe: Whistling (IT FEELS GOOD!) Michael: It’s like having the green dot on defense, you tell us where to go, and luckily for us we can all understand bird language. Poe: Whistling (Crazy I know) Marylander: TIME FOR THE BIGGEST FIGHT WE’VE HAD SINCE LAST JANUARY!
(Harborplace)
Mafian 2: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THIS SHOULD BE EASY PICKINGS! (Ground Rumbling) Mafian 3: Why is the ground rumbling? Mafian 2: I don’t know. But hey we need to keep gathering supplies from the stores inside this mall! Mafian 3: Please don’t tell me that the police have arrived to stop our massive assault on this mall. (BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!) “HERE WE ARE DON’T TURN AWAY NOW! WE ARE THE WARRIORS THAT BUILT THIS TOWN! (BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!) HERE WE ARE DON’T TURN AWAY NOW! (BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!) WE ARE THE WARRIORS THAT BUILT! THIS!! TOWN!!!” Mafian 4: Uh oh. This must be the Avengers. I’m scared. Michael: Correction. Jennifer: WE’RE THE CHARM CITY BEASTS! Michael: And we’ve come to take you down and prevent you from robbing the biggest shopping mall in Baltimore. Marylander: GET EM! (Breakout from Hairspray playing) (BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!) Michael: Poe, go between the escalators to the 2nd and 3rd floors. Poe: Whistling (Ok) Michael: They’ve got no idea what they’re in for. “3rd and a couple, scanning, Allen stays in there, throws incomplete, trying to get it to Kincaid.” Allan: Whistling (Hey boss, you want to ride down the escalator to take out some of these invaders?) Michael: Sure Allan, let’s do this! “Here goes Henry after a big running game against Dallas! Derrick Henry on the run! Hamlin and Lewis chasing! At the 40, at the 30! HE! WILL! SCORE!” Mafian 5: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! (BOOM!) Michael: COME ONNNNNNNNNNNN! Allan: Whistling (We took him to cool school on that one!) Michael: We sure did. How are we doing, Poe? Poe: Whistling (Jennifer, and Darkness are fighting a bunch of invaders in the fashion area, while Edgar and the Salty Marylander are in the gaming area) Michael: So do you want us to go to help them out? Poe: Whistling (Sure) Michael: Allan you help out your older brother, I’m going to help my girl. (BOOM!) “50 yard attempt for Tyler Bass. Operation is clean, and Bass knocks it through.” Change of plans. Poe, tell everyone to come back towards the center of the mall. Poe: Whistling (Ok. Guys come back here) Marylander: Why? Michael: I think I’ve figured out how to stop them. Edgar: Whistling (How) Michael: Most of them are coming inside from the roof, so if we can get someone up there and prevent more troops from coming in, I think we’ll be ok. Darkness (But who’s willing to go up there and fight hundreds of Buffalonians) Jennifer: I AM! Michael: THANK! FREAKING! GOD! Poe: Whistling (Looks like your girl is about to throw them off) Michael: Exactly, although I’m more surprised she’s in leggings tonight. Poe: Whistling (Probably because she wanted to have the full Blackout look to go with the black dress and heeled boots) Michael: Makes sense. This is why you have the fashionista who also happens to be an incredible athlete. Allan: Whistling (Yup. Enough talking we need to get back to fighting) Michael: Right. LETS GOOOO!
Crowd: LETS GO BUFFALO! LETS GO BUFFALO! (BOOOOOOOM!) Mafian 6: THAT WOMAN IS SO GOOD LOOKING! Mafian 7: AH THOSE BLACK BOOTS! Jennifer: Thanks, BUT YOU’RE DONE! (Cooties from Hairspray playing) Mafian 6: OH GOD! THIS CAN’T BE GOOD! Jennifer: AAAAAH! “We start the quarter with 2nd and Goal. And Jackson will roll, he’ll throw it to Henry, touchdown #2. For #22.” Mafian 7: OUCH! I got kicked where it hurts. Jennifer: OH TOO BAD! I’M NOT FALLING FOR THAT CRAP! UH! HIGH YA! COME ON AND DANCE! YA! “Cook switches sides, and Allen got contacted with, completed it, but Hamilton wrapping up, Dalton Kincaid, no Dawson Knox.” Mafian 8: WHEN WILL YOU HAVE ENOUGH!? Jennifer: NEVER! YA! Mafian 8: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (BOOOOOM!) “Play action to him on 1st Down, Lamar Jackson lofting it up for his TE, Isaiah Likely, down at the 45.” Jennifer: WHO’S BEHIND THIS! Mafian 7: Don’t know. Jennifer: TELL ME OR ELSE! Mafian 7: Seriously I don’t know. (BOOOM!) AAAAAAAAAH! “Black, white, red, green, every color in between. Dresses like a circus clown, somebody oughta hose her down. Grew up in a cootie zoo.” Jennifer: Good grief, how many of these Buffalonians could there be? But hey at least I’m taking them out cold hearted. “They need 11, and they got it in the middle of the field, with Agholor.” Man this is fun. PAUSE.
Edgar: Whistling (BAD BOYS! BAD BOYS! Whatcha gonna do?) Marylander: WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THE BEASTS COME FOR YOU! (BOOM! BOOM! BOOM BOOM BOOM!) Mafians: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! “2nd and 7 Jackson, lofting for Hill, Touchdown Baltimore!” Edgar/Marylander: SHAKE AND BAKE! Michael: How are we doing upstairs boys? Marylander: WE’RE TAKING IT TO EM TONIGHT! Michael: Just what I want to hear, they made a bad mistake attacking you guys head on. Edgar: Whistling (They wanted me and my guy the Salty Marylander, well they got us!) Michael: I know, Poe, and myself haven’t gotten as much attention towards us which is odd since Poe has the 360 camera. Marylander: So far that’s definitely been helping. Poe: Whistling (LOOK OUT BUDDY!) “Pressure comes, Allen, cannot get through it, Van Noy’s got him, and he’ll be credited for his 5th sack in the last three games.” Michael: YA! YA! The Master of Disaster is at it again. You can’t fool me. Poe: Whistling (GREAT MOVE BUDDY!) Michael: Thanks. How are Allan and Darkness doing? “Lamar Jackson this time keeping, and running, and he lost the ball, Bills may have gotten on it.” Allan: Whistling (Not good. Darkness and myself have been hiding behind the storage room in the Apple Store. Michael: You want me to help you, because I’m more than willing to do so. Darkness: Whistling (Sure) Michael: Alright guys I’m on my way.
Allan: Whistling (As long as they don’t knock the door down on us we’re ok) (BOOM!) “Intentional Grounding, Offense #8” Darkness: Whistling (And they just knocked the door down on us) Allan: Whistling (Boss, are you coming) Michael: I am Allan, I’m trying to get up the escalator as fast as I can. Allan: Whistling (Come on, we need your help) “Allen protected for the moment, now has to escape, everything’s covered, Josh waits till the last second, heaves it downfield! Shakir is open! What a throw by Allen, Shakir to the 3.” Michael: And now they’re coming for Poe. “Ty Johnson is the back, bouncing to the outside, Ty Johnson, Touchdown! Buffalo back in it.” Now they’re trying to rip that camera off his forehead. Not good. Salty Marylander! Marylander: Yes chief! Michael: You and Edgar go help out Poe since the Buffalonians are trying to rip the 360 camera off his head. I’m going to help Allan and Darkness get out of a corner in the Apple Store, and then I’m going to help Jennifer on the roof. You got me! Edgar: Whistling (YES SIR!) Marylander: ALRIGHT! Edgar, Poe needs help and we’re all the help he can find. Edgar: Whistling (Indeed) “Jackson steps up, tries to get away, cannot do it!” Allan: Whistling (Now they are taking all of the software from the storage) Darkness: Whistling (We have no hope right now!) (Focus playing) Michael: NOT SO FAST! Mafians: HUUUUH! Michael: REACH FOR THE SKY BUFFALONIANS! Mafians: DESTROY! DESTROY! “He pitches it to Allen, got traffic, and the ball’s knocked out! It’s a fumble, it’s a live ball, picked up by Kyle Hamilton of Baltimore.” Allan: Whistling (Thank goodness you’re here) Michael: Yes I am. Now they’ve got no shot! (BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!) “Get 78 more yards out of that. Derrick got off to 21.2 MPH. Doesn’t get full speed here, but he gets a ton of yardage.” Darkness: Whistling (Where are you going now boss) Michael: I’m going to help my girl take down their master, wherever the hell he so happens to be. Allan: Whistling (Good luck!) (WHOOSH!)
Jennifer: Man how many of these troopers can there be? (WHOOSH!) Michael: WELL THEY’RE ABOUT TO GET SUFFOCATED! Jennifer: MICHAEL! You’re here! Michael: Yes I am, and this is about to be the end for them. Jennifer: GOOD! “Got it from the 9, oh they fake it, Lamar Jackson’s gonna take it, to the end zone! Baltimore Touchdown!” Michael: I’ve been using that magnet all night to my advantage. Jennifer: We learned from our greatest nemesis, and look at where we are now. Michael: Exactly. Jennifer: Now, where is their master? Michael: I think there’s a dish at the top of the building right next to the Harbor. Jennifer: So that’s what’s controlling the Buffalonians. I don’t know how that hasn’t been affected by the rain. Michael: I don’t know either. But hey if we disable that dish, they’re done. Jennifer: THEN LET’S DO IT! (BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!) “Corner coming, can Allen get away from Humphrey, yes he can, the first time, trying to stiff arm, and could not get away.” (WHOOSH!) “We start the 4th Quarter with a 48 yard field goal attempt. Wide left.” Michael: Well we made it. Jennifer: Yeah, man my dress is soaking wet. Michael: Well that’s because you’ve been fighting all night in the rain. At least my black Lamar T-Shirt hasn’t been soaked yet Mafia Man: TREMBLE BEFORE ME! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Michael: GIVE IT UP NOW WHATEVER THE HECK YOU SO HAPPEN TO BE! Jennifer: YEAH! YOUR MASTERPLAN TO DESTROY OUR CITY HAS BACKFIRED! Mafia Man: There’s no way you two college kids can defeat me. Michael: Well yes we can. We’ve taken down most of your army that has invaded the Harborplace Mall. Mafia Man: That’s a lie because as long as that dish is working, I can send troopers from inside the ships we’ve sent from Buffalo that are out on the Inner Harbor towards the roof of the shopping center via teleportation. Jennifer: Well thank you for giving away your secrets. Mafia Man: UGH! (BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!) “He goes out and wins the Most Valuable Player Award. So that’s putting a statement on, I told you I was worth it. And so is this guy! Derrick Henry, down the sidelines to the 1.” Michael: Your time is up! That dish is about to be broken, AND SO ARE YOU! “Give it to him again on the right side, ball comes out! Fallen on by Rosengarten, but he couldn’t squeeze it. Lets see who’s got it at the bottom of the pile. It’s a touchdown or a touchback. Lamar Jackson says touchdown. I’m not so sure it’s not Patrick Ricard. This may be the ultimate payback.” Michael: GOOD NIGHT! (BOOOOOOOOOOOM!) Mafia Man: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Jennifer: Tie him in knots my love. Michael: ON IT! Mafia Man: OUCH! OUCH! OOOOOOOOOOOUCH! Michael: Aaaaaaaand we won. Jennifer: I WANNA KISS YOU! Michael: Same. Both: MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWA! PAUSE.
(Inner Harbor)
Michael: Ok gang, lets see who Mafia Man really is? (DRAMATIC MUSIC!) Beasts: HAILEE STEINFELD! Jennifer: Looks like Josh Allen’s girlfriend was dressing up as a monster in Bills gear to try and plot a threat to take over Baltimore this whole time. Marylander: She was so jealous of Taylor Swift and the Swiftie Empire that she decided to pull this off with an army full of talking buffaloes controlled by computers to try and consume the biggest mall in Charm City. Hailee: And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for those meddling romantic masterminds! Michael: Thanks for the compliment. Jennifer: Same, I really appreciate your opinions for both me and my handsome prince standing next to me. MWA! MWA! MWA! Michael: Ok, I hear you. Anyways, SECURITY! Marylander: Man that was some statement we put together. Poe: Whistling (Now we’re fully ready to take down the Swifties) Michael: You better believe it Poe. (Grease theme playing) Darkness: Whistling (Does anyone want to go dancing!) Raven Bros: Whistling (WE DO!) Jennifer: I’m just gonna watch how about you my love? Michael: Same. I just wanna watch my guys do their thing. Marylander: NOT ME! LET ME GET IN ON THE FUN! Raven Bros: Whistling (HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!) Jennifer: There will be a time where you and I can have our first dance all by ourselves. Michael: I know. I’m thinking of doing that for Purple Rising Night aren’t you? You and I will dance the night away with the others in awe and hopefully we get another epic victory over an oncoming attacker. Jennifer: That’s what I was thinking! Michael: Well there you go. But for now, let’s just watch my boys break it down for us. Marylander/Raven Bros: BEAST IS THE WORD! IT’S THE WORD! THAT YOU HEARD! IT’S THE MOOD! IT’S THE FEELING! BIG! BIG BIG! BIG! TRUZZ! BEAST IS THE TIME! IT’S THE PLACE! IT’S THE MOTION! BEAST IS WHERE WE CAN FEEL IT! Marylander: WHOS GOT IT BETTER THAN US! Cast: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBODY!
(CHARM CITY BEASTS)
Bragging Rights Sports 