Sidenote: Before we begin the recap of Week 2 of the 2024 NFL Season, I’d like to give a quick shout out to Penn State Sports Night. Gobs of coverage on all things PSU Sports, updates as well as throwing in Professional Sports content as well. Being a part of this crew has been a ton of fun and I can’t wait to see what we have in store the rest of the year. We also like to have fun on recording nights don’t we. Anyways, PSU’s finest sports coverage is a click away so why not give them a sub. The YouTube link will be shown in the description. Now onto the chaos!
Bills vs Dolphins: Stop me when you’ve heard this story before. The Bills dominating the Dolphins for 60 minutes on both sides of the ball and looking efficient while doing so. The interesting thing about this game was that Josh Allen didn’t even need to do that much. Well when James Cook is becoming the modern day Thurman Thomas, plus a revived defense thanks to feasting on an overmatched O-Line. (Joe Brady = The New Savior of BillsMafia) Miami despite home field advantage was completely exposed on offense. The formula is simple. Shut down Tyreek Hill, and this team is cooked. Not only did Tua throw 3 interceptions including a pick six he also got a return trip to the concussion area. Seriously again? No wonder why the Dolphins are as much of a clown car as they are. They’ve taken the best QB they’ve had since Dan Marino and ran him into the ground. No wonder why they’re considered the Cowboys of the AFC.
Saints vs Cowboys: Speaking of Dem Cowboys, they’re coming off a solid performance against a Browns team that’s dealing with high drama. Being back home in front of a raucous crowd should do wonders for them right? (BOOM!) Little did they know that those plans would be all for naught. New Orleans marched into JerryWorld and completely suffocated Dallas’ defense for over 400 yards of total offense. Alvin Kamara is a beast once again, and anyone who thought his prime was over must be rethinking their thoughts. The same goes for Dennis Allen. For the first time in his head coaching career he finally has a creative play caller. So far Klint Kubiak is doing what his father did by dissecting opposing defenses to the bone. Dak Prescott and the Cowboys offense tried to keep up but Who Dat Nation wasn’t having any of it. This was the Saints’ biggest statement win in the post Brees-Payton Era. And with Philly coming to the Superdome next week, the excitement in the Big Easy will likely be at a fever pitch. I wonder how Tampa Bay is reacting to this?
Buccaneers vs Lions: The Buccaneers saw what their divisional rivals did down in Texas, and now they want that same kind of statement win for themselves. And even better for Tampa, they get to go against the same team that knocked them out of the playoffs a year ago. As a Penn Stater, I must say anytime Chris Godwin is healthy, he always makes a strong case for why he’s the most underrated receiver in football. Racking up over 100 yards in the 1st Half will certainly rest his case. As for the game itself, it was the exact opposite of the Divisional Round game from 2023. Both defenses took turns making the other offense look silly outside of a few big plays here and there. The Bucs have taken the lead going into the 4th Quarter, but the Lions never take no for an answer. They are charging towards another massive comeback victory as… (DENIED!) JUST A BIT OUTSIDE! Detroit’s comeback falls just short. Really you have two 10+ play drives and you get no points out of it? It looks like Dan Gamble strikes again! Tampa here’s your statement win. The Saints may be the media darling right now, but you at least got the better of a much tougher opponent than they did. And with their schedule coming up, the Bucs are indeed hot and ready to take no prisoners. Seriously, when did the NFC South get this good?
Giants vs Commanders: Even when the Giants get to face the Commies in a stadium dominated by the fans of Big Blue, they still can’t make it easy for themselves. It started when Graham Gano got hurt on the opening kickoff. (Considering that he once played in Washington, the Gods were like this is your Welcome Back gift) Once that happened whenever New York did get points, they’d miss the extra point or that of a 2 point conversion. But yes even then, was this game not crazy enough. Washington made it to the red zone six times and didn’t score a single TD. Kliff Kingsbury learning nothing from Arizona, what a shocking turn of events. It got so ridiculous that Austin Siebert turned into Mark Mosley from 1982. Death by field goals. This is why Special Teams is and always will be a third of the game. You never know when needing a potent leg will guide you to victory if need be. And that right there cost the Giants the game. If Gano doesn’t get hurt they don’t have to go for two when down by 3, or go for it with the game tied at 18. (Poor Malik Nabers) Instead Washington charges into field goal range and Siebert ends the game. (Super Mario 3D Land Death Theme playing) Even when they hold their opposition out of the end zone the whole game, the G-Men must cry foul again. Brian Daboll, prepare for New Yorkers to come straight after your office.
Raiders vs Ravens: I knew the Ravens were going to have a tough time in this matchup for one reason and one reason only. They’re facing a defense featuring perhaps one of the best D-Lines in football and one that has Marvin Lewis calling the shots. And if you’ve followed this team long enough, they always struggle against former assistants. (For whatever reason, I don’t know) And guess what it happened again. Nothing makes me more sad than seeing the brutal decline of not one but two future Hall of Fame careers. It’s happening with John Harbaugh and Justin Tucker. From how I’m seeing it they’ve reached 2007 Billick and Stover territory. (Plus Marlon Humphrey might be in 07 Chris McAlister mode as well) A period where everything that made them great in their primes has been taken away from them. Whether it’s no longer making 50+ yard field goals, or making wise decisions with challenges and in game adjustments is up for debate. Even if Derrick Henry and Lamar Jackson are getting killed by Maxx Crosby and company all game, Baltimore is still up by 10 in the 4th Quarter. But then a familiar face to Flock Nation has returned to consume this crowd whole! (DRAMATIC MUSIC!) REFBALL! Not even Pearl Jam, the 2012 Super Bowl team, and Bruce Springsteen in attendance could stop the NFL from trying to rig a game against the franchise that Art Modell took out of Cleveland. (Springsteen and Pearl Jam were only there because of concerts that took place at Camden Yards and Royal Farms Arena that weekend) Lets begin with calling a facemask penalty against Nnamdi Madubuike when he was grabbing Gardiner Minshew’s shoulder pad. It’s at this moment where Vegas unlocks it’s offensive talents and abilities. To the surprise of no one, the Raiders come back to tie the game because YOU GUESSED IT! The Ravens are getting destroyed in the trenches and in time of possession. (Plus a questionable PI call against Brandon Stephens) The fears of losing to Minshew Mania for the 2nd year in a row have grown especially when the normally reliable Jordan Stout shanked a punt and put the Raiders already in field goal range. Seriously, I’ve seen this crap before. “Carlson kick, on the way, and it is good!” For the first time in 9 years the Ravens have started 0-2, and every time they’ve had this record to start the year they’ve not only missed the playoffs, they’ve finished under 500. And with their schedule coming up, Baltimore could realistically be 1-7 if they don’t turn this around. Well if the Ravens don’t do well this year, at least Charm City has the Orioles. (AAAAAAAAAA!) “IT’S A NO HITTER! BRANT HURTER IN HIS FIRST MAJOR LEAGUE START!” (Great week for Baltimore Sports isn’t it?) Freddie Gray put a curse on this city during that incident, didn’t he?
Chargers vs Panthers: Do I need to go into much detail with this game? All I’m seeing is the Bolts going into Charlotte and embarrassing the Panthers in front of a crowd that is basically 60% capacity. Even though they haven’t had the hardest schedule by any means the Chargers look good. That’s what happens when Jim Harbaugh has come and given them something they haven’t had since Days of Marty. AN IDENTITY! An in your face approach with tactical thinking and gameplanning. I never thought it would be Greg Roman who’d have this approach as the OC. (He is good for the short term so enjoy him before he gets exposed) As for Carolina the less said the better. Bryce Young was eaten alive by the Bolts Front 7 and it led him to being benched in the process. In comes Andy Dalton who’s now being chucked into this massive fire. In defense of Young despite being 5 ‘8, I don’t think any QB would do this well behind that O-Line and dealing with that owner. When you make Jimmy Haslam look humble in disguise, you’ve accomplished something.
Browns vs Jaguars: Oh yeah, Jimmy Haslam. Even though he’s still a clown who’s run two franchises in two different leagues into the ground by means of terrible trades, he and the rest of the Browns at least get the benefit of playing a franchise that’s turned back into being a clown. Yes Jacksonville may have a talented roster on paper but like most years their biggest enemy is coaching and arrogance. Remember when Jim Schwartz got exposed by Dak Prescott in a flashback to 2018-20? Well Schwartz is the one exposing a familiar face. In this game he coached circles around his old boss Doug Pederson for 60 minutes. Cleveland didn’t really look that good, especially on offense, and Deshaun Watson is still in football hell, but they’ll take this win any chance they get. Yes the game came down to a dropped Hail Mary, but that comes to show you that the Browns are still winning games in spite of themselves. But like I said, they got plenty of motivation from the Jaguars PR team in this game. Really? TrEverBank Stadium? You haven’t learned a damn thing from #Sacksonville almost a decade ago. I love it when teams keep making the same mistakes over and over again, and with the management crew that’s running things in Duval, I don’t see it changing anytime soon.
Jets vs Titans: The Jets got routed on Monday Night against the reigning NFC Champions. Many people thought it would be the same old song and dance for them after that game. Well it hasn’t come just yet. In this game the ButtFumble needed to make an example of someone. Their target was Will Levis. Yes Levis made some boneheaded moves including a backwards pass that led to a fumble, but the Jets will take whatever chances they get and run with them. Did I mention that there was another blocked punt that doomed Tennessee’s chances at victory. Even when their defense contains Aaron Rodgers for most of the game, while Calvin Ridley near single handedly ties the game at 17, the Titans can’t have anything nice. Braelon Allen has his coming out party, and the Jets defense holds off Levis one more time at the end. Honestly if I’m the ButtFumble I don’t know what to think of this team. They have talent but lack structure. And with Jermaine Johnson being out for the season, they need Hassan Reddick back badly.
Colts vs Packers: I remember a lot of people were telling me that the Packers would suck without Jordan Love and I didn’t believe them. Well it turns out that I was right, at least for a week. I find it interesting that Green Bay went from their usual pass happy approach to a run run run approach. Well Malik Willis has wheels and doesn’t have the arm that Love has so it makes sense. The Packers racked up over 260 yards rushing against one of the most underrated defensive fronts in the league. The defense would do the rest. Anthony Richardson as proven in this game is still a work in progress. He does have plenty of talent, but for every great moment there are always about 4-5 headscratchers. Throwing 3 picks and getting pressured throughout will do the trick. I wouldn’t panic about Indy just yet simply because they’ve played two really good opponents and have somewhat of an easy schedule coming up. You’re gonna beat the Bears, right?
Seahawks vs Patriots: SOS please someone help me! That phrase was ushered by many teams that had to face Mike Macdonald in Baltimore, and right now he’s doing the same in Seattle. Yes the Seahawks have had an easy schedule thanks to facing in theory the two worst teams in the AFC, but still anytime a rookie coach makes that kind of first impression, that’s a confidence booster. But not only is Mike Man trying to accomplish this feat, so is Jerod Mayo. Even though both teams are each a work in progress, you can’t deny that these young coaches have their guys locked in. Even as DK Metcalf has himself a dominant 1st Half, New England is still trying to give their fans a sign of hope for the first time in a few years. Leading 20-17 late in the game is the perfect specimen. But then their put away drive stalled out thanks to a crucial 3rd Down sack which led to a missed field goal. And of course, the Seahawks took full advantage of it, as this game is going into overtime. New England gets the ball first, and gets stuffed on another short yardage situation. (You’re not playing the Bungles terrible run defense just so you know) Geno Smith and company respond by making quick work of that Patriots secondary thanks to a few key 3rd Down conversions. Now it should be game over. “Myers from 31 yards out, Dickson places it down, and the Seattle Seahawks go to 2-0.” And just like that Mike Man is 2-0. Good work so far especially with a roster that just went through a talent drain. The same can be said about the Patriots even in defeat. This was a good game where one team just had to lose, nothing personal.
49ers vs Vikings: The Madden Curse is consuming San Francisco like many others before them. As a reminder that curse doesn’t just go for a single player, it goes for the entire team. (The 2012 Lions and 2018 Steelers can let you know about that) If you thought the CMC injury was bad, just you wait until this week’s report. George Kittle AND Nick Bosa AND Deebo Samuel. All three were sacrificed to the injury gods in this game. But even then that was the least of the Niners’ issues. The Vikings needed a statement win and my goodness did they get it and thensome. The final is deceiving, Minnesota was in control of this game from the opening kickoff. Remember when we all thought Sam Darnold was a massive bust not too long ago. Well it turns out that he needed to be around a creative thinker who would unlock his talents. Kevin O’Connell is doing just that, and it also helps to have the modern day Randy Moss in Justin Jefferson dominating DBs left and right. (I just hope he’s ok after that collision he had with Bosa) Also who thought it would be the Vikings D that would contain Brock Purdy for 60 minutes. I know Minnesota beat them last year and O’Connell knows San Fran super well going back to his time with the Rams, but man was this unexpected to most fans. Considering that the rest of the NFC North is in no man’s land outside of the Lions, this is perfect for the Skol Army despite all of the chaos that’s come their way this offseason. But how long will this run last?
Rams vs Cardinals: I thought the Cardinals efforts against Buffalo last week was a fluke, however I didn’t recognize how locked in Jonathan Gannon and his players were. Against a team that has dominated them for most of the last decade, Arizona sent a message to the rest of their division. DON’T TAKE US LIGHTLY ANYMORE! The Rams and Pokemon McVay had to learn this lesson the hard way. Especially with Marvin Harrison Jr. Boy is that man gonna be a special player for years to come. Not to mention Kyler Murray finally has some kind of solid structure around him. Even though the Rams are 0-2 this is nowhere near their fault. They faced a Lions team with a raucous crowd behind them all night, and now they got mauled by a potential up and coming machine. Wait a minute, the Cardinals are that up and coming machine. If they keep this up which is a big if in my opinion, those takes will become reality. Meanwhile LA has the injury bug consuming them whole, especially on defense. I trust McVay and Stafford to right the ship, but if not, it’s going to be a long year for them.
Steelers vs Broncos: The Russell Wilson Grudge Match! Well at least it would be if Mr Unlimited was playing. I know the narrative is to say that Sean Payton is nothing without Drew Brees but from how I see it, this isn’t really his fault. Denver with a talent drain this offseason especially on offense, and it showed against the Steelers. Turns out that rushing Bo Nix was a big mistake but do you really think Zach Wilson would have fared any better against TJ Watt? Pittsburgh like last week didn’t even need to do much in order to win. All they did was chill out on the couch with their primanti sandwiches and watch the Broncos shoot themselves in the foot. That pizza theme is not only playing for the offense that Arthur Smith coaches, but also those who happen to face the Steeler defense. The fact that the Yinzers are 2-0 says less about them and more about how much their opponents were in awe of their BS reigning supreme. Next week they get the Chargers, and that’s going to be the true litmus test for both teams since they each need someone to feast on in order to gain legitimacy.
Bengals vs Chiefs: THE BUNGLES! Not even a week after losing in humiliating fashion against New England at home, are once again poking the bear known as Kansas City. It’s one thing for Cam Taylor Britt to call out Xavier Worthy for being a man who can only run fast and not do much else, but for JaMarr Chase to say that they are the team to beat in the AFC. WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU GUYS ACCOMPLISHED BESIDES A DEUS EX MACHINA RUN IN 2021!? (Only fitting since Chase’s contract talks stalled out) The game itself for the most part played out how I expected it to. Cincy would get every opportunity to overtake the Chiefs but even then they still can’t solve the rubik’s cube of Spags. Yes, Tee Higgins is injured, but KC is missing Marquise Brown and Isiah Pacheco. (CRACK!) Both of them aren’t coming back for a while. Seriously, Patrick Mahomes once again got eaten alive by Lou Anarumu, Kelce could do nothing, CTB backed up his bravado against Worthy nonetheless, and all they needed was Joe Burrow to turn into prime Eminem and it was done. (BOOM!) But then it wouldn’t be vintage Bungles if he didn’t giftwrap the Chiefs a late game lead thanks to getting strip-sacked. (Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?) But even then Cincinnati was able to retake the lead thanks to an Evan McPherson field goal. Even if Kansas City is facing 4th and 16, you know they’re still going to win the game. Why? “Here he’s coming up, now he’s going laterally, he’s gonna throw it on the run! And it’s broken up and there’s no flag, OH A FLAG COMES IN LATE!” Begin the deep state conspiracies from the Jungle about how Mahomes and Travis Kelce get such unfair treatment by the league office. The Taylor Swift Handicap has consumed yet another AFC North foe. It’s honestly sad when I’m glad that happens to take place. Well that’s because the Bungles are even more unlikable than the Chiefs are. We know what’s going to happen, just play the game winning field goal already. “Placement is down, Butker’s kick, leg through, it is high enough, and it is GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!” Kansas City rips the souls out of another team begging for mercy. Cincy you’re not in Kansas anymore and you most certainly aren’t over the rainbow. Your punishment is getting consumed by the Wicked Witch yet again thanks to a nice serving of humble pie. (Prepare the bunkers, the insufferable Nick Wright is consuming the Jungle whole, AGAIN)
Bears vs Texans: Nick Wright really had the Bears going to the Super Bowl this year. I know this man believed at one point that Caleb Williams would be the next Mahomes but that is just borderline ridiculous. One guy has Andy Reid and one of the most stable organizations in sports at his side. The other has a defensive mind as his head coach, and the McCaskey’s ruining almost everything they touch. The lesson that both Williams and Bears fans had to learn on this night was that this isn’t the PAC12. Against an opponent like Houston, they got eaten alive all game by the Texans pass rush. But even then this game was still in reach for Chicago. Their defense was giving CJ Stroud fits for most of the game, however the offensive line couldn’t block Will Anderson and Danielle Hunter all damn game. Especially in the 4th Quarter. Houston if I were you I’d be a little careful about how you played in this game. The Bears had you on the ropes yet you escaped because Caleb isn’t ready yet and Matt Eberflus is falling into the same traps that nearly every Bears coach since Ditka has fallen into. And with Minnesota on the menu next week, you better get your act together quickly.
Falcons vs Eagles: This game was the site of not only the celebration of the careers of Nick Foles, Jason Kelce, and Fletcher Cox, but also the site of the winner of this week’s FOOTBALL FOLLIES! (Yes I’ve got that 1980s NFL Films music cued up and ready to go) Philadelphia coming off their win in Brazil needs to make their home crowd and team alumni pleased. However the Football Gods had other plans. Their 1st Half performance was sloppy enough to the point where they got booed by their fans at halftime. Yes Philly fans thought that the Falcons would be easy pickings after what happened against Pittsburgh last week, but Atlanta does have talent on both sides of the ball, plus a coach that is willing to properly use their best weapons. And in the 2nd Half that thinking was on full display in front of a National Audience. The Falcons have taken the lead for now, but as usual the talent of EagleLand must consume the home crowd of joy and excitement once again. All Hail the Brotherly Shove! Atlanta I hate to tell you this, but you must have to relive one of the most hated narratives in your city’s history. Only a Brick Wall could stop you, its name is…….. Hey where’s the brick wall? (DOINK!) Eagles, why? Yes I get that Saquan dropped a pass that would have clinched the game, but they should never have been in this situation. Well you can thank Nick Sirianni for drinking the stupid juice on a 4th and 4 in the 1st Quarter. That decision may cost them the game. If they take the point there, this game is put out of reach. Now the Falcons are only down by 6. And we already know what’s coming on the final drive. “HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!” One of the greatest quotes in NFL History. The prevent defense prevents you from winning. Vic Fangio, consider this lesson as a harsh wake up call. Not even Kirk Cousins’ terrible record on Monday Night Football can stop the bleeding. “Cousins looks right, has a man! Touchdown Drake London!” It looks like we haven’t left 2023 at all. The Eagles in a gimme situation with less than 3 minutes to play not only botched it, but Atlanta took full advantage of it and stole a win from their grasp. Do you know what this means? The Falcons are the ones forcing the Falconing. AGAINST PHILADELPHIA NONETHELESS! The city that has been the main reason for Atlanta’s choking reputation outside of Boston. Sirianni and Kellen Moore I hope you’re listening right now because you two need to hide under the covers of your bed. The Philly Media wants your heads placed on a tee. They’ll probably ignore it and pretend that everything is fine. COUNT ON THAT SUCKERS!
Bragging Rights Sports 