The NFC. Unlike the AFC its top heavy with a few legit contenders that stand out, but after that. Well its constant mediocrity. You know I always enjoy when I assume one thing is going to happen and then I’m completely wrong. The same can be said about a few of the 16 teams I’m about to go over.
Dallas Cowboys (Jerry’s Madhouse of Contract Holdouts): Last year was pure agony. Everything aligned for the Cowboys to finally make it past the 2nd Round only to suffer the most devastating loss in franchise history against a team that’s owned them since the Ice Bowl. The question here is now what? How does Jerry Jones respond? “We’re going all in!” They didn’t get Derrick Henry because he got poached by Baltimore, although they did do their fanbase one larger favor. They brought back Zeke after a 15 month vacation in New England. Speaking of free agent RBs, Dalvin Cook is also on board. They didn’t really do much this offseason just there were so many questions about the long term future of the team. I’m looking right at Prescott, Lamb, and Parsons. Dak, and Micah are both in contract years, and CeeDee almost held out… that was until Jerry signed him to one of the biggest extensions in Cowboys History. Not bad especially for what he offers. The goal for Dallas this year is still the same. Get out of the 2nd Round for the first time in 30 years. If they fail again, everyone is probably getting fired, and Jerry will probably launch nukes onto the Star with how frustrated he is over such failure.
New York Giants (Give Up Already): Good job Giants you successfully wasted the control years of what you considered the franchise savior when he first arrived. Seeing Saquan leave the Big Apple is one thing, but did he really have to go to their most hated rival 90 miles down the New Jersey Turnpike? Although let’s be real, any RB last year would have sucked behind that O-Line. And they’re hoping that Evan Neal is able to recover from that setback of a year ago. (Part of me feels like he was playing injured all year and couldn’t block effectively because of it) Daniel Jones is healthy again, but the fans are calling for his head once again even though he’s nowhere near the main issue. At least they gave him a generational wideout in Malik Nabers. That’s always good. Defensively they’ve got questions as well, but bringing in Brian Burns from Carolina will hopefully give Kavon Thibedeau more insurance. They’re not good, they’re not bad, but they’re just simply meh. And Brian Daboll doesn’t like that one bit especially with how well 2022 went.
Philadelphia Eagles (UNDER PRESSURE!): Something spicy is being cooked up in the land of Chickie and Petes. That being either the revival of a once great machine, or the continuation of the biggest soap opera that the NFL has seen since Days of our Steelers. Boys I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you got rid of both coordinators, and poached Saquan Barkley and Jahan Dotson from major rivals (Plus Quinion Mitchell looks like a stud of a 1st Round pick), the bad news is that your new coordinators are both retreads. Uh, did you not see how exposed Kellen Moore was in LA last year? I get them bringing back Vic Fangio, he was a big reason for the success of their Front 7 in 2022. But he too got exposed last year while in Miami. This year for the Eagles will be even harder than last year not in terms of their talent on paper but in terms of leadership. Jason Kelce and Fletcher Cox retired, (And Brandon Graham is retiring at the end of the season) and they were the only reasons why that soap opera didn’t destroy them early in the season. Even if there are a ton of players on the hot seat, no one’s sofa is as hot as that of Nick Sirianni. The Philly Media is going to be breathing down his neck even more than they did last year, especially if things don’t go well for them early on. Now you see why I blame those evil pundits and not management for being harsh to them as to why the Eagles and really most teams from that city have trouble playing up to their potential. (If I were to say this to a Philly fan, they’d send me to the jail inside the Linc)
Washington Commanders (A Slow But Steady Rebuild): The Commies are in a pickle. They had a dud of a season last year which saw them get rid of the old regime, they hired Dan Quinn hoping that he doesn’t get exposed like he did in Atlanta, and they drafted a guy who has the same upside that RG3 had 12 years ago in Jayden Daniels. Hopefully he doesn’t get his legs ruined by FedEx Field like those before him. Even with that upside, there are still concerns. Like being in a bunch of past prime players because they’re still following the path that made them the damn good culture that they are. Bobby Wagner, Zach Ertz, and Austin Ekeler come on down. Ironic that Josh Harris hasn’t learned a damn thing from not only Snyder but from his habits as owner of the Sixers and Devils. Why do I say this? Because they shipped off Jahan Dotson to clear up cap space for Brandon Aiyuk. (YoYo Sound) And then they got trolled at the altar. If that’s not typical Washington as well as typical Harris no pun intended then I don’t know what to tell you. At least Noah Brown looks like a nice consolation prize unless he gets hurt. (Well thank goodness they’re giving Sean Taylor a real tribute instead of the fake ones so that Snyder could take the heat off of him)
Chicago Bears (More Sky High Optimism): If you thought Bears fans were insufferable last year, you ain’t seeing nothing yet! Not only did they luck out because of David Tepper drinking the stupid juice for Bryce Young in 2023, but they got giftwrapped a generational QB talent in Caleb Williams. Chicago hasn’t had a Franchise QB since Jim McMahon and hopefully for their sake Caleb doesn’t turn into Trubisky, McNown, and many others before him. Not to mention they brought in Keenan Allen and drafted Rome Odunze to help him out. That’s great but your O-Line is a major question mark like most years. Did you see how they made Justin Fields run for his life out there? Boy is that a real possibility. Defensively they’re really good and Montez Sweat being in the beginning of his prime has jolted them above expectations. (Nice that they’re trying to revive Kevin Byard’s career) The Bears in my opinion are a boom or bust kind of team. If everything goes well, they’re contenders. If not, we laugh at the McCaskeys again.
Detroit Lions (Bobby Layne Might Be At Stake): Coming this close to a Super Bowl appearance was something that this fanbase has been waiting for since the 50s. The question I have now is how will they handle success? I have a feeling that Dan Campbell is going to be asked that a lot. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. The Lions live and die by the aggressive decisions he makes. However if he can overcome that, then the days in hell might be over. Not to mention the core players are getting paid. Jared Goff, Penei Sewell, and Amon-Ra St Brown all got extensions, and probably more are to come. But right now they’ve got a lot to prove. Especially the defense. Their inconsistency cost them a shot at a ring, and they know that truth very well. (No I still don’t know why Aaron Glenn is considered a defensive genius) On paper this is the most talented team they’ve had since 1957, however there is a certain rival that wants to ruin their dreams like they have for decades…
Green Bay Packers (The Real Winter Warriors): That would be the Cheeseheads! Who once again look primed and loaded for another shot at winning the trophy that they birthed in 1966. Especially when they’ve injected Jordan Love with the same superpowers that Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre once possessed. Not to mention they signed two of the better free agents on the market in Josh Jacobs and Xavier McKinney. The scary thing about Green Bay is that most of their damn good has been developed from within, and most of them are on rookie contracts. That’s what happens when you have a patient front office and are the only publicly owned team in the league. Last year they made massive progress despite the changes that were made. Now the goal is simple. Regain NFC North Supremacy, Win Title #14, and make generations of Bears fans eat an entire gallon of salt once again. (The same goes for Detroit and Minnesota)
Minnesota Vikings (The Truth Hurts… AGAIN!): The Vikings. In my opinion they have to be the most snakebitten franchise in the NFL outside of the Browns. It doesn’t matter the talent on display, or the coaching, or the personnel, the Football Gods find ways to deliver them endless pain. Even though they drank the stupid juice of moving up one spot to get JJ McCarthy, he looks like their next savior. (CRACK!) And then he gets the Greg Cook treatment. Torn rotator cuff, done for the season. Now they have to try and revive Sam Darnold’s career. WOOF! Thank goodness they extended Justin Jefferson especially since he’s the most talented receiver they’ve had since Randy Moss. (RIP Chase/Jefferson combo in Cincinnati) However the defense is in shambles, LITERALLY! Danielle Hunter is gone, and Mehki Blackmon tore his ACL and is done for the year. They did draft a stud in Dallas Turner who is probably going to be a gamechanger coming off the edge. Plus Khyree Jackson looks like a potential star in the making. (GONG!) And then he died in a car crash, (They did sign Stephon Gilmore following the horrific incident) GOODNESS GRACIOUS FOOTBALL GODS! WHAT THE HELL DID THE VIKINGS DO TO DESERVE THIS! PLEASE LEAVE THEM ALONE FOR ONCE IN YOUR DAMN LIVES! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE! (God has to be a Packers fan especially with how much bad luck that division has had since the Lombardi Era)
Atlanta Falcons (What Is Your True Vision?): Arthur Smith is gone. Thank god! In all due respect to him as a person, he held back this offense in such massive ways. (Smith probably got carried to relevance by Derrick Henry) Now guys like Kyle Pitts, Bijan Robinson, and Drake London will finally get their chance to show how talented they truly are. But what about who will be throwing the ball to them. The Falcons didn’t sign Kirk Cousins just to be ok. They want him to help take this offense to new heights. And just in case he doesn’t work out, they drafted Michael Penix, they’ll be fine. (Still can’t stop laughing over that selection when it first happened) Now I see why they didn’t draft Dallas Turner. Because they were waiting for someone to have a top edge rusher on the trade market. Getting Matthew Judon could be a steal especially with how little they gave up for him. Same with Justin Simmons who gets to team up with Jessie Bates to roam at safety. There’s a ton of talent in the ATL right now, and hopefully Raheem Morris is much more motivated than his last stint as Falcons head coach
Carolina Panthers (Tepper’s Fantastic Clown Show): The only way to go from here is up. It sounds simple but as long as David Tepper is in charge, Carolina will be considered as the red headed stepchild of the NFC. Bryce Young can only do so much before he gets eaten alive behind an O-Line full of sieves. Even if they gave him a nice WR in Xavier Lagette to work with, Young better hope that he doesn’t turn out like Terrance Marshall did. Whether it’s the players fault or ownership or Scott Fitterer being the modern day Matt Millen is up for debate. If we thought the calls they were getting from other teams for Brian Burns were insane, just wait until you see how much they demand for Jaycee Horn. He’d look really nice in a contending team’s uniform. Let me put it this way, the Panthers cannot become the White Sox of the NFL. Because if they do, I’d consider them for contraction if we’re being honest.
New Orleans Saints (The Definition Of Football Hell): Ever since Drew Brees retired and Sean Payton resigned it’s been the same story with the Saints. Take a trip on the Wacky Taxi which sees them get off to a fast start, fall off a cliff at midseason, only to rebound and then miss the playoffs via tiebreaker. Something that fans in the Big Easy saw a lot of in the early 2000s. And with how their roster is constructed I don’t see that going away anytime soon. Derek Carr is the epitome of hot and cold, Dennis Allen shouldn’t be anywhere near a head coaching job, and they threw money at Chase Young in hopes that he can build off of his strong stretch in San Fran last year. It does come at a cost. (CRACK!) Ryan Ramczyk. He’s done for the year, and possibly for the rest of his career. They did extend Pete Werner and Chris Olave is close to his prime, but they still have a long way to go before being legit title contenders. I mean they have playoff upside thanks to a weak division I guess, but that’s about it. They need another 2017 Draft Class in the worst way possible. As the Crash Course magazine once said, “WAIT TILL NEXT YEAR!”
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Chips On Their Shoulders Redux): I find it interesting that the Buccaneers were a drive away from the NFC Championship Game yet suddenly have flown under the radar. Strange times. Last year Baker Mayfield did the unthinkable. Not only revive his career, but overcome the shadows of Tom Brady. And he was rewarded with a handsome extension. Even if Ryan Jensen may have retired, I expect Graham Barton to fill that role nicely. (His father was a stud at RT for the 49ers in the 90s. Not worried) There are still plenty of pieces leftover from their 2020 team even if Mike Evans is near the end of his prime. Everyone myself included is wondering one thing right now. Are they a true contender or did they get bailed out by deus ex machina? (Especially with a weak division and playing a soap opera in Round 1) I don’t know, but I get the feeling that if they’re going to go down, they’ll go down swinging. At least Todd Bowles isn’t on the hot seat anymore. Or is he?
Arizona Cardinals (Timing Is Everything): The tanks are still out but it may not be for the whole season like it was last year. Especially now that Kyler Murray is healthy again. Even for their bad record last year, Arizona did have a successful season. Not in terms of their record but in terms of quality of play even in defeat. (Especially with how many close losses they had) Now they want to build on it and hopefully get towards that 6-7 win mark from how I see it. Luckily for the Cardinals they drafted a guy that could be the next Larry Fitzgerald. Marvin Harrison Jr wasn’t the greatest WR prospect that the league has seen since Megatron for nothing. Not to mention Budda Baker is still here. (He did request a trade last year, although I think those rumors are gone) As I said, Arizona isn’t as bad as you think they are based on how they play even against tougher opponents. And luckily for them they aren’t in a rush when it comes to making it back to the playoffs. As long as the Bidwell’s don’t get in their own damn way they’ll be fine.
Los Angeles Rams (Post Donald Begins): Last year’s white hot surge ended in sudden fashion against a team that hadn’t won a playoff game in over 30 years. The Rams are looking to build off of that. However there is one massive void to fill. Aaron Donald. Despite never suffering a serious decline, he’s chosen to retire despite battling injuries over the past few years. Although Braden Fiske might just be ready to take on such a challenge. On offense, they looked loaded once again. Kyren Williams and Puka Nucua are two stars in the making. And if Stafford and Kupp can stay healthy, they are going to carve up a ton of defenses once again. And don’t worry about Pokemon McVay being rumored for retirement either, he just got extended for the long run. (RIP to his potential deal for TNF on Prime Video) The defense is the major question mark and without Donald it’s not going to be easy. Luckily Darious Williams is back from Jacksonville and Tre’Davious White gets a much needed change of scenery. They may not have the talent compared to years past but they’re well coached, and have a very hungry mindset. They want to prove that 2021 was one of many riches that they will earn in the mansion that is SoFi. And with their development pool being as strong as it is. They’re going to be back in Super Bowl Contention in no time. (If those last 7 games in 2023 are any indication, the Rams should be a wrecking machine once again)
San Francisco 49ers (How Many Cracks Will It Take?): The last three times that the 49ers have made it to the Super Bowl they’ve lost to a dynasty twice and a redemption story in the other. Now it’s their turn to have the redemption story possibly play out. But the Football Gods have plans for them in a big way. Dre Greenlaw got hurt in the big game and isn’t coming back until the playoffs, they lost Arik Armstead and Chase Young due to the cap. And speaking of Cap Hell they are one year away from being locked into it for the next half a decade. And they still have to pay Brock N Roll the big bucks. (Probably $60M a year, URK!) Not to mention their skill position group on offense is in a dire situation. Deebo Samuel requested a trade, but luckily he downplayed that. Then comes Brandon Aiyuk and Trent Williams. Both of them on expiring contracts, and both of them held out. Aiyuk was literally minutes away from being traded to the Steelers. But then John Lynch decided to pony up and give him the big bucks. (Aiyuk is lucky that he’s staying in the Bay, because anywhere else he’d be headed towards Alvin Harper territory) Not to mention Trent Williams got a pay raise. So it looks like everything is ok. (DRAMATIC MUSIC!) OOOOOOOH RIIIIIGHT! The Niners have the Madden Curse this year. And not only did EA Sports take a blow out of Christian McCaffrey due to him getting injured, but the Gods took a blow right at Ricky Pearsall. Thank goodness he’s still alive, and should be back by midseason. Anyways the stakes have never been higher around this organization then right here, right now. Good luck Shanahan, you’ll need it!
Seattle Seahawks (A Complicated Setup): 2023 was a year that looked like the beginning of a new era, only for them to run out of gas thanks to a brutal 2nd Half schedule. Right now Seattle is trying to make sure that they don’t have any major setbacks. Losing Quandre Diggs, Bobby Wagner, and Jamal Adams is tough, but with how many trades they made to restock their defense it more than makes up for it. Also I hope you’re ready for some SOS warnings along the shores of the Pacific because here comes Mike Macdonald out of the tunnel. His main goal in the Emerald City is trying to carry on the traditions that Pete Carroll created. (Man I’m going to miss chatting with both he and his wife every time I come home to Baltimore) Those being a strong defense, a power running game, and timely playmaking from the WRs. From how I see it, Geno Smith is entering a make or break season. He’s a solid QB, but if he can’t take them to the next step, my guess is that they’ll go big game hunting for a QB in the draft. And that guy probably would be let’s say Drew Allar. (That is if he doesn’t decide to come back to PSU after 2024) PAUSE.
I know how I said at the start that the NFC was top heavy followed by mediocrity. I kinda take that back. There’s plenty of talent spread out, and I don’t think it’s as obvious as last year when it comes to who’s the favorite to make it to the big game. Anyways we need predictions and we need them now:
NFC East
- Eagles 11-6 #3
- Cowboys #10-7 #6
- Commanders 7-10
- Giants 6-11
NFC North
- Packers 14-3 #1
- Lions 12-5 #5
- Bears 8-9
- Vikings 6-11
NFC South
- Falcons 10-7 #4
- Buccaneers 8-9
- Saints 7-10
- Panthers 3-14
NFC West
- 49ers 13-4 #2
- Rams 10-7 #7
- Seahawks 9-8
- Cardinals 6-11
NFC Wild Card
#2 49ers over #7 Rams
#5 Lions over #4 Falcons
#6 Cowboys over #3 Eagles
NFC Divisional Round
#5 Lions over #2 49ers
#1 Packers over #6 Cowboys
NFC Championship
#1 Packers over #5 Lions
Super Bowl LIX
#1 Ravens over #1 Packers
NFL MVP: Jordan Love, Packers
Offensive Player of the Year: CJ Stroud, Texans
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Xavier Worthy, Chiefs
Defensive Player of the Year: Aidan Hutchinson, Lions
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Nate Wiggins, Ravens
Coach of the Year: Jim Harbaugh, Chargers
Comeback Player of the Year: Justin Herbert, Chargers
Super Bowl MVP: Derrick Henry, Ravens
Bragging Rights Sports 