Charm City Beasts (Season 4) Episode 20: Fasten Your Seatbelts!

(Where The Streets Have No Name playing)

“After being challenged in ways we couldn’t have imagined.”

“Things are different this year, especially here.”

“A place that epitomizes all we’ve been through, and all we hope to be.”

“We may have been knocked down, but we will get back up.”

“THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE BALTIMORE!”

(BRAGGING RIGHTS SPORTS PRESENTS)

“This is a place where different backgrounds and beliefs converge.”

(A MARYLAND CULTURE PRODUCTION)

“We’re a city that is defined by resilience, and fueled by what’s possible.”

“LISTEN TO ME! WHEN GOD TELLS YOU SOMETHING! BELIEVE HIM! BELIEVE HIM!”

“And God’s powers give way to a ray of hope.” (Michael Hession)

“Hope that we will defend the place that we built from the ground up.” (Jennifer Shoemaker)

“Hope that we can accomplish the goals that we set out to achieve.” (The Salty Marylander)

“Hope that nothing will hold us back from where we want to go.” (Edgar)

“And hope for our team and city to rally together as one.” (Allan)

“Those who define what it means to be a Raven.” (Poe)

“Have that never say die mindset every single day.” (Darkness)

“The reality is this. THIS IS THE TOWN WHERE OUR HOPES BECOME REALITY!”

“WE ARE!” “WE ARE!” “WE ARE!” “WE ARE!” 

CHARM CITY BEASTS!

(Season 4) Episode 20: Fasten Your Seatbelts!

(May 11 2024, Charm City Beasts Headquarters/Oriole Park at Camden Yards)

(2 On playing) “Henderson, high in the air to deep right field. He got a changeup, he hit it out toward the wall. And it is gone! That ball hung up there forever!” “Santander got an outside pitch, drives it deep to center, Carroll is back. WE ARE TIED! How in the world did he get that pitch outta here?” “AND THIS HOUSE IS GOING WILD!” “Right side, fair ball! You could not have played it any better. Cowser to the plate, Orioles win it! Cue shot magic from Jordan Westburg!” Allan: Whistling (I love to get 2 On, let’s let’s let’s roll. I love to get 2 On, I love to get let’s roll!) Edgar: Whistling (Both Baltimore teams look like championship contenders, boy do I love it!) Allan: Whistling (You see why I did the 2 On reference? Thats why) Jennifer: Wow Michael and the Salty Marylander must have had a blast today at Camden Yards. Poe: Whistling (They both wore their City Connects today, I guess that’s the lucky jersey) Jennifer: It appears so. That Salty Marylander is so lucky that he got to go, because if I were there, I’d be hugging Michael from the ball left Jordan Westburgs bat. Poe: Whistling (Yup. Boy do you love that man) Jennifer: Yes I do. He expects the best out of all of us, and I in particular thrive off of it. However they needed a boys weekend after all. “HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!” Michael: LET’S GO BABY! ALL HAIL THE HIGH END TALENT! Marylander: RAIN ON ME! Darkness: Whistling (You’d rather be dry boys but at least you’re alive) Michael: Ok we don’t need to bring up one of the besties of he who shall not be mentioned. Marylander: Although Darkness does have a point since it was raining come the 10th inning. Jennifer: Well you must have had a blast at the game. Michael: Well duh, the O’s got all they could handle from the Diamondbacks, and overcame a 4-2 deficit in dramatic fashion. Marylander: Yeah Gunnar Henderson and Anthony Santander hit two big homers to help get this game to extras. Jennifer: I saw that. Edgar was on the edge of his seat since we couldn’t get anything going for like 3 innings. Edgar; Whistling (Thank goodness our bullpen woke up) Michael: True. The Salty Marylander had thrown them under the bus the last few weeks, and well today they proved him wrong. Marylander: Uh, thank god! How about Westburgenza with four hits and his 2nd walk off hit of the year? Jennifer: Where did you get that nickname from Salty Marylander? Marylander: That wasn’t my invention, it was that of Abby Labar of MLB Network. Jennifer: Oh, I get it. Michael: Makes sense since she’s an O’s fan despite being from North Carolina. Jennifer: I thought Westy was a good nickname to have but Westburgenza, that’s up there with Tony Taters for Santander and the Escape Artist for Gunnar. Poe: Whistling (Plus Adley being called The Cornerstone) Marylander: We love coming up with clever nicknames do we. Michael: Whether it’s from us or from people around the sports world, I’ll take it. (PAUSE)

(Rumors playing) Michael: Well it looks like the storylines now will be much more dense than they are. We think. Lets begin with a move that might seem questionable now but could look like a steal down the road. That would be extending Rashod Bateman to a 2 year deal. At only $5M per year? I mean the Dark Knight has had bad luck so I guess you could give it a go. EDC, John Harbaugh, and Todd Monken agreed. Considering that there was so much attention on OBJ last year it kinda kept Bateman out of the big picture. But hey this could be like 2022 before he got hurt that is. (He would have had 1000+ yards receiving if he didn’t get hurt that year. Let that sink in) Speaking of Odell Beckham he at long last made up his mind as to where he’d go in free agency. Fortunately it’s not the Steelers. However he won’t be back in the 410. (BOOM!) You just knew that he was going to sign with Miami. In my opinion Mike McDaniel, Tua, Tyreek Hill, nor Jalen Ramsey had anything to do with the signing. Odell has been a celebrity figure for a long time and he’s using this as a way to expand his brand in ways Baltimore can’t. He didn’t go to the Dolphins to play in that fast pace offense, he went there because of convenience. If you recall, he spent every single off day following games last year in Miami, and not to mention he has a house out there too. Plus he’s still dating Kim Kardashian and apparently headlines are growing that they may want to have a child with each other. What drama huh? So with OBJ gone the celebrity rumors surrounding the Ravens are gone, we can now focus on football full time. For once (BOOOOOOOM!) (Ravens Superfan Leuschel claims that Zendaya says that Zay Flowers is her favorite player, Twitter accuses him of lying) Marylander: NOW WHAT!? (PAUSE)

(Something New playing) Michael: Little did we know that the rumors would be kicked back into high gear once again. The Football Gods are literally playing with the Boys in Purple as they’ve done many times before… for about five minutes. Shoemaker what do you have? Jennifer: This past May the annual Met Gala fashion show was held and it saw Odell Beckham Jr and Marlon Humphrey in attendance. Michael: I get OBJ being there, but Marlo? Why did he show up in the first place? Jennifer: Well on May 1, Brandon Leuschel of the Zay Flowers fanclub came up with a rumor that would drive Lamar Jackson insane. Michael: Wait, Zay has his own fanclub like Lamar, and Roquan has? Jennifer: Yes. So what happened was he felt jealous of Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift like the rest of Flock Nation especially us since we happen to be in war with the Swiftie Empire, and his way to convince Raven fans that we had a challenger to that romance in KC was to put out a tweet in saying that a certain celebrity though her favorite player was Zay Flowers. Michael: Really? Who did he handpick? Jennifer: You know the movie Challengers that just came out a few weeks ago. Michael: Uh yes. Jennifer: Well Leuschel tweeted that Zendaya the star of that movie who by the way has friendly connections to the Ravens said in an interview that her favorite player was Joystick. Marylander: WAIT WHAT! MARLO IS GONNA BE MAD! Michael: Hey, not now please! Anyways. Jennifer: At first it seemed like this was a true story, she was recently interviewed however when he put out that she said Zay would win Offensive Player of the Year, that’s when I knew he went way too far. Michael: I’m with you. Look I get that he wants clicks and is trying to get the fanbase fired up, but please at least give us actual facts. Jennifer: However that didn’t stop Lamar from banging the drum over this. Michael: OH DEAR GOD! Jennifer: Lamar convinced Zay as well as the 1.2M followers of his that this was indeed a true story. Heck, he even tweeted a picture of those two at a dinner table. Michael: Let me guess, Twitter eventually called Leuschel out. Jennifer: They did. And Zay was one of them behind it. Michael: Well Zay has been dating his girlfriend from BC for like at least 3 years, and Zendaya has been with Tom Holland for a while. So now I see why Marlo went to Met Gala. My guess was that he was trying to tell her, don’t listen to this guy on Twitter. He’s really jealous that OBJ and Patrick Queen are gone and we don’t have any celebrity connections to this team. Jennifer: I agree. You have to be careful when it comes to posting things on Social Media. Michael: I know, look at last year when PQ went out with Ariana Grande in London. That was a real story because the first person to tweet about this works in the Ravens Media Department and was on site when it happened. Jennifer: Exactly. Well the good news for us is that Zendaya has been friends with Marlo since 2021 which sounds like he’ll become friends with her and Spiderman in no time. (Plus she sang the National Anthem at the Thanksgiving Game in 2013 where Mike Tomlin stepped in front of Jacoby Jones on his way to the endzone. THANK GOD WE STILL WON!) Michael: Refresh my memory, is Tom Holland a Steelers fan? Jennifer: I don’t know about that, but I guess we’ll find out come the time when the Ravens and Steelers play this season.

Michael: Thank you Jennifer. Jennifer: You’re welcome MWA! Michael: You had to give me some mistletoe didn’t you. Jennifer: Yes, because I love you. Michael: Anyways with the NFL Schedule set to come out a major rumor is spreading and it involves the Boys in Purple. The Orioles announced that their September 8 game against the Tampa Bay Rays at Camden Yards would be moved from 1:35 to 12:05. Marylander: Why’s that? Michael: Well Salty Marylander, you and the Raven Brothers will enjoy this. The sense is that the premiere of Season 19 of Sunday Night Football on NBC will be taking place at M&T Bank Stadium that night. Marylander/Raven Bros: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Michael: Well the thinking in this case is that if the Ravens indeed open at home in primetime to start the 2024 season, there has to be enough time for all of the parking lots outside of both stadiums to be prepared in time for the Sunday Night Game. You guys all know that the O’s and Ravens share the same parking lots. Jennifer: You don’t need to remind us that, we all know this from going there all the time. Michael: I hear you. But I’m putting this out there for those who follow us outside of Baltimore. Jennifer: That makes more sense. Michael: As all of us here in this building know the parking lots for Raven games open 4.5 hours prior to kickoff. So if the O’s vs Rays game lasts from 12 to 2:30. They can have the lots cleared and prepared in time for the night game. Plus Ravens Walk has to be set up during that time frame as well. Marylander: Yeah, I’m glad that the O’s moved their game up, we want the spotlight on us right away! Michael: True. And I have a feeling if we do get the home Sunday Night Game in Week 1, one phrase will be uttered out of each of our mouths. Jennifer: What would that be? Michael: RAVENS VS STEELERS! Jennifer: Wow! I think you’re right. If we are opening at home in primetime it has to be against Pittsburgh right? Michael: Yes. We haven’t opened the season with them since 2011, and this would be the year to do it. Jennifer: Well we’re about to find out later this week.

(THREE DAYS LATER)

(In the Air Tonight playing) Jennifer: Hey Michael do you have a minute. Michael: Yes I do. First of all, how was work? Jennifer: It was good. We sold over $3,000 worth of clothes today. Michael: My goodness! I know it’s the start of graduation and wedding season, but hey you must spend the big bucks to look good. Jennifer: You sure do. Michael: I probably told you this before but I don’t how you go all day without your feet burning while wearing high heels. Jennifer: Well it’s probably because I’m used to wearing them to go with the office dresses like the green one I have on right now. Michael: I guess so. Luckily for me I get to wear athletic clothing for most of the time, but hey you wear what makes you comfortable. Jennifer: Hehe. I wanna kiss you so badly! Both: MWWWWWWWWWWWWWA! Michael: Thank goodness you don’t wear lipstick a whole lot when you have work during the week. Jennifer: Well either way that won’t stop me from kissing your lips any chance I get. Michael: There you go. Anyways, what do you have? Jennifer: You know the Ravens play the Chiefs in Week 1. Michael: Yeah I saw that, luckily I didn’t tell the rest of our crew. Jennifer: Good because I have an idea. Michael: Oh boy I can’t wait to hear this! Jennifer: The Swiftie Empire is reportedly planning a massive Super Bowl Celebration in the mall of the ship on September 5. Michael: Yes, I saw headlines about it this week, it’s going to be a 3 hour concert plus a massive reception event afterwards. Jennifer: That may sound cool for them, BUT NOT FOR US! Here me out my love, WE’RE GOING TO SPOIL THEIR CELEBRATION! Michael: OH YES! Jennifer I’m so glad you brought this idea up. Because I would have for sure done that at the Schedule Release Meeting of ours down in the basement tomorrow. Now I don’t need to. Jennifer: This is why it feels so good to have someone that you trust to help you out. Michael: I know, this is why you’re both my associate and my girlfriend. WOAH! Jennifer: Michael you’re so good looking! Both: MWWWWWWWWWWWWA! 

Michael: Alright, since we’re going aboard the Swift Airship on Opening Night, I know exactly how we can spoil their celly. Jennifer: How’s that? Michael: We all know that the rumors of Taylor and Travis getting engaged are only growing by the day. Jennifer: Yes they are, and boy in the words of Brian Billick that just chaps my ass. Michael: Good way to put it. With that being said, you’ll enjoy what I’m about to say. Jennifer: Please tell me my love! Michael: Our mission when we get to the Airship is this. WE’RE GOING TO STEAL THEIR ENGAGEMENT RINGS! Jennifer: OH! MY! GOD! MWA! MWA! MWA! MWA! MWA! MWA! MWA! MWA! Michael: Jennifer please, stop it, hehe, STOP IT! Jennifer: Ok I’ll stop. Michael: You just love making lip contact with me don’t you? Jennifer: I can’t help it, you’re my true love and someone I look up to for guidance. Michael: Jennifer, that’s so nice of you to say that. Anyways, I have a feeling that the Swiftie Troopers hid the rings in a very safe place inside the Swift Airship, and our job is to find that room, grab the bag that the rings are in, AND THEN GET OUT OF THERE AND HEAD BACK HOME TO BALTIMORE! Jennifer: Sounds like a perfect plan! Now what are we going to do with the rings? Michael: I’m going to put them in a miniature safe that I’m going to buy when we get back from Ocean City in a few weeks. (Game of Love playing) Jennifer: Smart move. From the way I see it, those aren’t going to be their engagement rings at the end of the day. THEY’RE GOING TO BE OURS! Michael: Jennifer you just made a massive statement by saying that those engagement rings will be ours if we find them. Normally I’d be against this, but I’ve never ever wanted to let you down. Jennifer: I have the same feelings for you too. Michael: I get that we’ve only known each other for not even four months, but hey we love taking risks for each other and for the rest of our squad. Jennifer: We sure do. Michael: Here’s what I know. Jennifer: What is it my love? Michael: What God is showing the two of us and the rest of our crew, is that our destiny ends in New Orleans, LA. The same city where we won our last Super Bowl. I feel like destiny is going to be in our hands this year. Jennifer: I really hope so. Because if we win the Super Bowl this year, you’re likely going to propose to me in front of the Raven Brothers, Salty Marylander, and potentially each of our families with confetti falling down on us with one of those rings we’re about to steal from the Swifties? Michael: I am. I know I didn’t want to show you my hand, but honestly, that’s the ultimate goal. You and I need to do what Taylor and Travis never did at the Super Bowl last year in Vegas! Propose marriage in celebration. Jennifer: But what if we don’t win it all. Michael: Just be patient. As Harbaugh and EDC have said, patience is the name of the game. We will ultimately tie this romantic knot one way or another. Jennifer: I’m so glad you’ve been thinking outside the box when it comes to our relationship. Michael: I know right. Normally it’s you who is dreaming of what we could be. Now I’m starting to catch on. Jennifer: Yes you are. Michael: I just want you to know that I don’t want anything to get in the way of our game of love. Jennifer: Nothing ever will. Michael: I know. Jennifer: C’mere my prince! Both: MWA! MWA! MWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWA!

(ONE DAY LATER)

(Homecoming Hijinx playing) Michael: Alright guys, here’s the schedule for the upcoming 2024 NFL Season. There will be some crazy reactions here both good and bad just so you know. Raven Brothers I suggest you eat as much white cheddar popcorn as there is in that bowl. Allan: Whistling (No problem boss) Michael: Ok then. Without further ado, here’s Jennifer to give us where and when the Ravens are playing this year. (CLAPPING) Jennifer: Thank you Michael, I see Poe is giving me the We’re Not Worthy look. Poe: Whistling (You look SO HOT!) Michael: You went hot pink for today eh, especially since the heat has already been turned on here in Baltimore and it’s only May. Jennifer: I know, working at a fashion store while having a major role there gets the best of me from a look perspective. First of all, let’s get the preseason games out of the way quickly. So we play the Eagles and Falcons at home, and then the Packers on the road. Raven Bros: Whistling (MORE CHEESE! YUM!) Michael: Interesting that we play the Packers in the preseason instead of the Commies. Jennifer: Crazy I know. So here is how the regular season is going to shape out. Week 1, we’re getting tested right away gentlemen. Marylander: Oh crud. This isn’t good. Jennifer: We’re facing the Chiefs on Opening Night at Arrowhead. Marylander/Raven Bros: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Michael: I knew that reaction was coming from the Raven Brothers and the Salty Marylander. We all wanted the home Sunday Night game and instead we have to go back into Kansas City. Jennifer: Well the NFL does have a grudge against us you know. Michael: Yes they do. GUYS! Marylander: Ok we’re listening. Jennifer: Week 2 we’re home against the Raiders at 1 PM. Edgar: Whistling (Boy I can’t wait to run out of that tunnel for that game) Allan: Whistling (Me too) Michael: I hear you but that game screams trap game to me especially coming off the Chiefs game. Jennifer: Well I don’t blame you my love because in Week 3 we’re going to Dallas for a 4 PM game. Michael: Oh a little family affair for this guy. Jennifer: Why’s that? Michael: My sister works for the Cowboys, and this will be the first time the two teams have played since she started there. Jennifer: Oh nice! Well my mom’s family are Commanders fans, and my dad’s family are Steelers fans. Michael: So you were the only Raven fan out of the pack? Jennifer: My older brother Eric is also a Ravens fan. I’m one of four so being one of the middle children kinda helps with that? My older sister Kate also works for the Commies so I kinda want to rub it in if we win. Michael: I did not know that. For your sake I hope so. Anyways, back to the schedule. 

Jennifer: Week 4, Bills at home on Sunday Night. Raven Bros: Whistling (WAITING ALL DAY FOR SUNDAY NIGHT!) Michael: You’re damn right. Although I think that’s too early for the Blackout wouldn’t you think? Jennifer: I think so. I prefer the Color Rush especially if the rumors of us donning a new alternate helmet are true. Week 5, at Cincinnati at 1 PM. Marylander: YOU’RE GOING DOWN CAPTAIN WIN-CINNATI! Michael: Hehe, man the Salty Marylander hates that guy. Jennifer: Well guess what Michael, just you wait until he realizes that you and I are boyfriend and girlfriend as well as the leaders of the Charm City Beasts. Michael: Yeah, he got a taste of you a few weeks ago. Jennifer: I know right. Ok Week 6, against the Commanders at 1 PM at M&T. Michael: So that’s a family rivalry for you. Jennifer: Yes it is. My mom really wants to pull the upset. Michael: Well we’re trying to not let that happen. Jennifer: Week 7 we’re going to Tampa Bay for a Monday Night Game. Raven Bros: Whistling (ARRR ME MATEYS!) Michael: Yup, I’m guessing we’re going to be battling pirates while we’re out there for that game. Jennifer: I could definitely see that. Well Darkness could be the hypothetical parrot in this case. Darkness: Whistling (COOL! The Salty Marylander has the muscles to carry me around) Marylander: YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT! Michael: Man we got so many strong and fit guys on this squad. Jennifer: That’s what makes things easier for you and me. Week 8, we’re going to the Dawg Pound for a 1 PM kickoff. Marylander; WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! Michael: Let me guess you’re copying the guy you interviewed in Cleveland while you were there. Marylander: Yes sir. Michael: Very well. Jennifer: Week 9 we’re back home against the Broncos at 1 PM. Poe: Whistling (Let me guess we’re going camo for that game) Michael: I think you’re right, that will likely be the salute to service game. 

Jennifer: Alright guys, here’s the big one. Michael: Boy I can’t wait. Jennifer: Week 10, Cincinnati Bengals, in Baltimore, Thursday Night Football, and it will be played 20 years to the day of the very first Blackout game that took place in 2004. Marylander/Raven Bros: LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Michael: Well the Captain’s got his work cut out for us if he tries attacking us again. Raven Bros: Whistling (HERE COME THE MEN IN BLACK! M&T DEFENDERS! HERE COME THE MEN IN BLACK! WE WON’T LET YOU REMEMBER!) Jennifer: While I may be the only girl on this squad, I must say I don’t mind all of the gangster swagger that the Raven Brothers have. Michael: I hear you. I wonder what your Blackout outfit will look like? Because you’re the only one that doesn’t have one. Jennifer: Yeah, I’ve got a Blackout dress with leggings and boots for the occasion, Poe will go crazy as usual when he sees it. Poe: Whistling (YOU KNOW IT!) Jennifer: Hehe, ok next week we get the Steelers in YinzerLand for a 1 PM game. Michael: Oh mama I’m in fear for my life from the long arm of the law. Jennifer: Hopefully Renegade won’t cause us to self-destruct this time. Michael: I really hope that doesn’t happen. I want to beat them for once. Jennifer: Same, my father and younger brother Will have been rubbing it in my face for four straight years. Michael: Well my dad is a Patriots fan, but he at least was very humble during the Brady and Belichick Era I’ll give you that. Jennifer: Ok then. Week 12, it’s going to be a Harbaugh Family affair on Monday Night Football at SoFi. Allan: Whistling (MORE SURFING!) Jennifer: Oh sweet! Michael: Last year we did a skit where they went surfing at Huntington Beach, I’m planning on doing that again when the Skit Season shifts over there for that game. Edgar: Whistling (LETS GO! I WANT MY REVENGE!) Michael: Yeah, especially since you were eliminated by falling off your board while trying to get on. Jennifer: WHAT! That’s insane. Ok anyways, so after Thanksgiving, we come back to Baltimore to play the Eagles at 4:25. Michael: Well I get a chance to have some bragging rights over my friends at Penn State. Jennifer: Are they Eagles fans? Michael: Yes they are. As long as that fanbase doesn’t take over M&T I’m ok with it. Jennifer: I really hope our PSL owners don’t sell. Then it’s the Bye Week, thank goodness. Poe: Whistling (Chilling out maxing and relaxing playing video games and watching Netflix) Jennifer: Well you and I will be on the couch watching Netflix shows for days over that Bye Week. I don’t know if I can convince my true love who’s standing next to me to join in. Michael: Jennifer, now is not the time. Jennifer: Alright, just a thought. After the Bye we go to NYC to take on the Giants at 1 PM. Marylander: WHAT DID THEY SAY TO YOU TO GET YOU TO SELL NEW YORK CITY DOWN THE RIVER!? Michael: Ok Salty Marylander, you really want to win that game don’t you. Marylander: Duh, because we got our hearts ripped out by them the last time. Michael: That and we haven’t beaten the G-Men in the Meadowlands since 1997. What’s on the menu over the holidays? 

Jennifer: Guys I think you’ll find these two games as crazy as one may believe. In Week 16 we’re at home on Saturday Evening against the Steelers. Cast: Uh Huh. Then we play on Christmas against the Texans IN HOUSTON! Marylander/Raven Bros: WHYYYYYYYYYYY! Michael: This is proof that the NFL hates us. I mean if you’re going to give us a Christmas game especially since we were in San Francisco last year, at least make that game at M&T Bank Stadium. Darkness: Whistling (Why does the NFL hate us anyway) Michael: Well Darkness it can best be described as the league office not being forgivable to a man who did so much for the league. Marylander: Are you talking about Art Modell? Michael: Yes Salty Marylander the NFL hates us because of what he did to the city of Cleveland in 1995 by moving the original Browns here to Baltimore. Ever since then the media has hated us and predicts us to be mediocre despite having Super Bowl caliber rosters year after year after year. Darkness: Whistling (I get that, but why does the media hate us) Michael: Jennifer, explain. Jennifer: Eh hem. Chapter 2, Page 15 of If These Walls Could Talk. Bob Trumpy of NBC Sports wrote in a column for Inside Sports, “I despise the whole concept of the Baltimore Ravens…. This team will be hated everywhere outside of Baltimore…. Art Modell’s actions were criminal…. I see nothing but doom and gloom for this franchise. I wish the Ravens high winds and muddy fields; I wish them empty roads to and from the ballpark; I wish them cold hot dogs. I wish them nothing but bad.” Michael: That thinking has been true to this day. I know Lamar has had plenty of controversy follow him in terms of his lack of success in big games going back to High School but even if we had a media darling like Josh Allen, Joe Burrow, Justin Herbert, CJ Stroud, heck even Mahomes they’d still hate us because of said grudge back in 1995. Jennifer: They’ll never learn will they. 

And to cap off the season we’re at home in Week 18 against the Browns. Thoughts on the schedule? Michael: Wow. Two instances where we get 3 games in 10-11 days. Although other than that our schedule isn’t as hard as last year was. Jennifer: I agree. We played 14 of 17 games against teams with over 500 records including the last five. Michael: I know. I will say this. Seven standalone games, nine games at 4 PM or later, man we’re going to be on National TV nearly every week. Jennifer: I know. Not only are the Ravens going to be showcased in front of a nationwide audience The seven of us are going to be showcased a ton. Michael: Yeah. I mean from our squad standpoint, myself, the Salty Marylander plus the Raven Brothers were already a handful to deal with for opposing fans, now we add someone who is as gifted and good looking as you are to throw those fans off guard. We’re in for a fun year. Jennifer: It’s going to be full of action, comedy, romance, danger, and whatever adjectives you want to throw out there. Michael: Indeed. Salty Marylander and the Raven Brothers, your thoughts. Marylander: I can’t wait to make all of these whippersnappers eat their words. Michael: There were a ton of people that did last year, so I expect more of the same. Edgar: Whistling (We’re going to flex our muscles on the AFC North again) Michael: Yup, we’re the defending division champs, if you’re going to win the AFC North, come see us at M&T. Allan: Whistling (That’s right! I can’t wait for the California trip) Michael: Well we had a ton of fun there last year at Huntington Beach and I expect the same. Poe: Whistling (Me and Jennifer are going to be sitting in the sun getting all tan, all I technically can’t because I have feathers) Michael: Poe you crack me up! Poe: Whistling (Yes I do. Anyways, I can’t wait for the Blackout. That was my favorite moment of the year last year and I expect it to be the same. 3 strikes and you’re out Bungles!) Michael: That’s right. Beating Cincy three years in a row at home in primetime in a sea of black. Thank God I’m a Country Boy! Darkness: Whistling (I’m excited for the Cowboys game. Why? Because I want to go dueling with actual Cowboys) Michael: Darkness I like that idea. Speaking of battles with opposing fanbases, I’ve got a special mission planned out. Raven Bros: Whistling (REALLY!) 

Michael: Yup. Jennifer and I talked about this for a couple of hours last night, and boy we’re about to reveal it to you all. Marylander: I wonder what this mission is all about. Jennifer: We’re going to spoil the Swiftie Empire’s Super Bowl Celebration on September 5! Poe: Whistling (YEAH BABY!) Michael: Sounds like one person is excited. What about the rest of you guys? Marylander: I wonder what exactly we’re going to do there. Michael: Guys here’s what we’re going to do. Jennifer: So the talk of the offseason around the Swiftie Empire is that Travis is going to propose to Taylor at some point in the next several months. Marylander/Raven Bros: WOAH! Marylander: I KNEW THAT DREADED NONSENSE WAS BEING DISCUSSED OVER THERE! Michael: Yes, that is definitely a serious rumor. But here’s the thing. WE’RE NOT GOING TO LET THEM TIE THAT KNOT! Edgar: Whistling (How are we going to do that?) Jennifer: Simple. WE ARE GOING TO STEAL THEIR FREAKING ENGAGEMENT RINGS! Marylander/Raven Bros: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Michael: They may have the title but things are different this year especially around Baltimore! Darkness: Whistling (I hear you, it’s just that if we don’t succeed we could get captured again.) Jennifer: Darkness listen to me… Michael: Uh Jennifer, what are you doing? Jennifer: Ain’t no crying in the Flock. Ay hey, let the beat clarade, your tears as they fall baby. Ain’t no crying in the Flock. Ay hey, with a little fate, your tears turn to ecstasy. Ain’t no crying in the Flock. RAVENS NATION! Ain’t no crying in the Flock. RAVENS NATION! Ain’t no crying in the Flock. Mic Drop! Marylander/Raven Bros: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Michael: That’s right Jennifer! THERE’S NO CRYING ON THIS TEAM! We’re not giving a freaking inch all season long! I don’t care if ESPN, ProFootballTalk, First Things First, etc think we’re going to be in last place at midseason, both the Ravens on the field as well as our own squad in regards to facing evil opposing fans will have one thing and one thing only on our minds. Poe: Whistling (What’s that?) DEFENDING WHAT’S OURS! Marylander/Raven Bros: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! 

(Keep Going Up playing) Michael: Alright everyone, who’s ready to have some fun in Ocean City! Marylander/Raven Bros: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Michael: I hate to break this but there hasn’t been any Beach Bash information this year. Raven Bros: Whistling (AW!) Michael: However Jennifer and I did book a hotel reservation for the weekend. Marylander: LETS GET IT! Michael: Well guys I got a bunch of stuff planned for us while we’re down there. Poe: Whistling (What do we have buddy) Michael: I have us going to a water park, you five will go mini-golfing one evening, while Jennifer and I have a tennis court for the two of us. Not to mention we’ll go to the arcade a bunch because I know you guys love playing arcade games, and not to mention Darkness has been chosen as the Guest DJ for Karaoke Hour at one of the bars. Jennifer: Boy I can’t wait! We’re going to have so much fun! Michael: Yup. I really hope there isn’t some supervillain out there because you never know. Although I will say this. Pack your Blackout gear just in case there is one. Jennifer: So I should pack something black for when we play tennis. Michael: Yes. I want almost everything water proof just in case we have to go out there to the middle of the Atlantic. You got me. Cast: YES! Michael: Great, I got one more thing, Who’s Got It Better Than Us? Cast: NOOOOOOBODY!

(June 8 2024, Ocean City, MD)

Michael: I’m a top notch dresser, one two stepper, still got the belt I don’t buckle under pressure. Jump, it’s still raining. No I ain’t gotta tell you you heard em saying it. But just in case y’all have forgotten though, keep playing it. Michael/Jennifer: Under the lights much better than the omen. You look around, I’m still around. Now I’m laughing remembering I was far better. You look around, I’ll be around. Michael: LETS GO! Michael/Jennifer: I keep going, I keep going, I keep going up. Michael: I keep going up yeah. Jennifer: Ay yeah. Michael/Jennifer: I keep going, I keep going, I keep going up. Jennifer: I keep going up. Michael: Big Truzz! Michael/Jennifer: I keep going, I keep going, I keep going up. Michael: I keep going up yeah. Jennifer: We keep going up. Michael/Jennifer: I keep going, I keep going, I keep going up. Jennifer: Going going up, going going up. (BOOM!) Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Michael: LETS GO FLOCK NATION! Jennifer: MWA! MWA! MWA! MWA! MWA! MWA! Michael: Alright, who’s next on the Karaoke Sweepstakes? Allan: Whistling (My turn!) Michael: Alright Darkness give him a beat! (Everybody playing) Jennifer: Oh it’s the theme that was played in the first battle of the Beast-Swiftie War. Michael: Yeah, everytime that Gatorade Water advertisement pops on the TV, Allan starts rapping. Jennifer: It never gets old doesn’t it? Michael: And here he goes! Allan: Whistling (FLOCK NATION! “Everybody!” BIG TRUZZ! “Everybody!” CHARM CITY! “Everybody!” LETS! GO! RAVENS! FLOCK NATION! “Everybody!” BIG TRUZZ! “Everybody!” CHARM CITY! “Everybody” ALL THEM FEATHERS ARE ON MY “Body” TAYLOR SWIFT IS A NO “Body” THE BEASTS ABOVE EVERY “Body” THE BUNGLES AREN’T ANY “Body” WE’RE THE RAVENS FLOCK! “Body” TAKING NO PRISONERS! “Body” WE’RE GOING FOR THE VINCE LOM! “Body” THEY! CAN’T! MESS! WITH! US! US! US US US US! BIG BIG TRUZZ! EDGAR! “Everybody!” ALLAN! “Everybody!” DARKNESS! “Everybody!” THE SALTY MARYLANDER! POE POE! “Everybody!” JENNIFER! “Everybody!” MICHAEL! Everybody!” CHARM! CITY! BEASTS! Mic Drop!) (BOOM!) Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Michael: Boy did Allan take a swing at both Cincy and Kansas City. Marylander: This bar is going CRAZY! Michael: You gotta love it! Jennifer: He got a louder ovation than we did. Michael: Well I don’t have a problem with that since the main objective of this weekend is to have fun. Plus our crew loves competing with each other. Jennifer: Damn right! Michael: Oh he’s going for another one, why didn’t I think of doing a second duet with you? Jennifer: Well, we didn’t know. Allan: Whistling (Flock Nation, I got whole cash, stacks of money here. I got problems. On my whole act. Got my lab with me. Pop a Bungle. Like a dunk tank. Shopping on the net.)

(Boardwalk)

Marylander: Wow, was that something. Michael: Yeah that was a fun couple of hours I tell you. Poe: Whistling (I think Allan outdid us all) Michael: He definitely came ready to rock the building. Allan: Whistling (I’m so glad that Darkness was chosen as the DJ. He knows what songs I like) Michael: I told the owner of the restaurant that they didn’t need to bring in their own DJ since Darkness is so good at it. Did I mention you literally rapped for like half an hour Allan: Whistling (I love busting some beats out there) Jennifer: Just like I put so much time and effort into how good I look from a clothing perspective, Darkness is that when it comes to being the DJ, and Allan when it comes to rapping. Michael: That’s a very good way to look at it. By the way you were the only one who dressed up for this occasion. As I knew you would! Jennifer: I can’t help it, its romance season. I need to impress you, my handsome prince. Michael: You crack me up. Jennifer: It’s because I love you. MWA! Michael: And there’s the mistletoe right on the cheek. I was wondering when that would come. Anyways, here’s the plans for tonight. Salty Marylander, you and the Raven Brothers are going mini-golfing and go karting. Marylander: YEAH BABY! What about you two? Jennifer: We’re playing tennis, and then taking a walk on the beach afterwards before sunset. Michael: That woman must really want as many romantic moments with me as possible, but hey I don’t have a problem with it.

(Mini Golf Course/Go Kart Area)

(Eat Them Apples playing) Marylander: Watch this boys, I’m going to get a hole-in-one despite the hole being located on a weird angle. Poe: Whistling (There’s two regular holes to get to the main hole) Marylander: I know. Just take a look for once. (Tap) Go, GO! Ok, cleared the tunnel, oh it’s going in YES! HAHA! Let me rub some of that salt off of your shoulders Poe! Poe: Whistling (Let me show you) Edgar: Whistling (Poe’s looking to retain his lead after 13 holes) Poe: Whistling (You better believe it bro) (Tap) Darkness: Whistling (Oh thats going in) Poe: Whistling (WA HOO!) Marylander: UGH! YOU GOT ME! Poe: Whistling (WHO’S SALTY NOW) Marylander: You’re right, I’m literally acting like my namesake!

(A FEW MOMENTS LATER)

Edgar: Whistling (One hole left, Poe leads the Salty Marylander by one stroke and this is a Par 3) Marylander: Thank goodness this is a long hole. Darkness you go first. (Tap) Darkness: Whistling (Ok, I can manage a two) Edgar: Whistling (I’m next, I know I won’t win since I had a terrible Front 9 but at least I can try and get a hole-in-one by hitting it through the miniature lighthouse and in the hole.) (Tap) Poe: Whistling (YOU CALLED IT!) Edgar: Whistling (Even though I didn’t win, I’ll take a hole-in-one to end it.) Allan: Whistling (I need a hole-in-one to at least get within striking distance.) (Tap) Marylander: Ah shucks! At least it didn’t go in, well he’s gonna get a two out of it. NOW IT’S ME AND POE! My turn! Poe: Whistling (Please don’t get a hole-in-one.) (Tap) Marylander: Go, GO! YES! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I WIN! DON’T EVEN ATTEMPT TO PUT YOU’RE DOWN BY TWO STROKES! Poe: Whistling (Ok, at least I’ll give it a go) (Tap) Poe: Whistling (Get in, GET IT!) Marylander: AW! It went halfway down and out, it wouldn’t have mattered but that just doesn’t sound right. Poe: Whistling (It’s alright) Edgar: Whistling (TIME TO DO SOME GO-KARTING!)

(Beachfront)

(South of the Border playing) Michael: Man you ran me crazy on that court. Jennifer: I can’t help it, I’m that good at tennis. Michael: How good exactly? Jennifer: Well I was one of the best tennis players in the State of Maryland during High School. Michael: You were. I didn’t know that. Jennifer: Yeah, my team won the State Championship my sophomore year. Michael: Wow, you must have been one of many on a team that just hit the ball so hard. Jennifer: Yeah, I wasn’t even a Top 5 player on my team and yet, I only lost one match that season. Michael: Damn! You’re the first tennis player that I’ve faced that served over 100 MPH. Not even my sister, or my mom could serve with that high a velocity. Jennifer: Well, this is what it’s like to face a talent like that. Michael: Yup. When you’re such a good athlete, things just seem to come easy. Jennifer: It does, even though it’s hard work. (BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!) Michael: Uh, you hear that? Jennifer: What could it be? Michael: OH NO! Jennifer: WHAT? Michael: According to my radar, there’s a mysterious object about 20 miles away from the beach on the water. I’m thinking we need to go check that out. Jennifer: Sure, now how are we going to get there. There’s a jet ski hut not too far from where we are on the beach. Michael: Great, let’s go check it out!

Jennifer: Thank goodness you and I are in tennis gear Blackout edition since it’s waterproof. Michael: Yeah, enough of that. WE GOT A JOB TO DO! Jennifer: But what about the others? Michael: I’m giving them this one off. Jennifer: Why? Michael: Here’s why. You and I are both talented, strong and smart enough to take down whoever this mysterious thing is in the middle of the Atlantic. You got me? Jennifer: Yes my love. Although can you just give them a heads up just in case. Michael: Fine, they are demigods who can burn the opposition in lethal ways after all. Jennifer: Enough talking, start the engine! (VROOM!) Michael: BRING IT ON MYSTERIOUS FORCE! (Danger Zone playing) (VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! VROOOOOM! VROOM!) Jennifer: MAN WE’RE GOING FAST! Michael: HOLD ON! BECAUSE WE’RE GOING FULL SPEED AHEAD! (VROOOOOOOOM!) “Highway to the Danger Zone! Right into the Danger Zone!” YEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAAAAAA! Jennifer: YEAH BABY! THIS IS AWESOME! Michael: I can sense that the object is in sight. I see a bunch of dark clouds which means wherever they are its thundering and lightning. Jennifer: I’m glad I’m not in a beach dress. Michael: You better be, because we’re about to get soaked with how much rain we’re driving into. Jennifer: LOOK THERE IT IS! Michael: A PIRATE SHIP! That was the mysterious object? Although I see exactly why. Jennifer: YINZERS! A pirate ship with Steelers flags. OH THEY’RE SO GETTING BEAT! Michael: Should we try to break in? Jennifer: Yeah, besides a magnet, all I have is a Paintball Gun. Michael: Well luckily for you I’ve got my super sonic laser blaster that consumed that karate kid from Palm Springs. Jennifer: YES! Michael: ALRIGHT IT’S ON NOW YINZERS! (BOOOOOM!) Jennifer: LET’S GO!

(Addicted to Love playing) Michael: ALRIGHT WHERE’S THE ARCHITECT!? Yinzer Pirates: THEE SHALL NEVER BREAK INTO OUR SHIP ME HARTYS! Michael: I’d say we just did. Yinzer 1: You my matey ain’t standing a chance. Yinz are about to get blasted! Michael: NOT SO FAST! JENNIFER GET THE MAGNET OUT! (WHOOSH!) Yinzer 2: YOU BASTARDS! Jennifer: You’re going to regret the day you mocked the faces of the Charm City Beasts! Yinzer Pirates: RAVENS SUCK! Michael: HUNT EM! (BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!) Michael: ARRRR! “Your lights aren’t on, but you’re not home. Your mind, is not your own. Your heart sweats, your body shakes. Another kiss, is all it takes.” Michael: You wanted to mess up Beach Bash? WELL THAT WAS YOUR BIGGEST MISTAKE! FIRE! (BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!) Jennifer: UH! YA! UPPERCUT! RA! Michael: To the top of the ship deck, RUN! Yinzer Pirates: RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Michael: Lock them out! Jennifer: Sure thing! (BOOOOOOOOOOM!) Yinzer Captain: WHO ARE THESE KNUCKLEHEADS!? Michael: DON’T YOU DARE CALL US KNUCKLEHEADS! OR ELSE WE’LL KNOCK YOU OFF THE BOAT! Yinzer Captain: I’m not falling for some crap from a Ravens fan. Jennifer: LAY OFF MY LOVER! Yinzer Captain: Oh stop it! You’re too soft to be a hero, you’re a model! Jennifer: I may be a model from a looks and clothing perspective, BUT IT DOESN’T MEAN THAT I’M NOT TALENTED AND VERY HARD MINDED! Michael: GET HIM! (BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!) “You might as well face it, you’re addicted to love! You might as well face it, you’re addicted to love! You might as well face it, you’re addicted to love! You might as well face it, you’re addicted to love!” Michael: GIVE IT UP CAPTAIN We’re not falling for your undercover games anymore. We’ve taken over your freaking ship! Jennifer: You had 25 crew members vs just us two and you got destroyed! Yinzer Captain: IT’S NOT OVER YET! I’VE GOT A GIANT CANNONBALL BLASTER THAT’S BOUND TO SPELL YOUR DEATH! Michael: Get the magnet out again! (WHOOSH!) Yinzer Captain: HOW COULD YOU! HOW COULD YOU!!! Jennifer: SEE YA! (BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!) Yinzer Captain: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (SPLASH!) Michael: YA HAR! HAHAHAHAHAHA! I told you that we didn’t need the others. Jennifer: I know, I shouldn’t have argued with you on that. Michael: It’s all good, we just ran completely through an entire 25 man crew of buccos from YinzerLand by ourselves. Nothing fancy, and to top it off. Jennifer: TA DA! Michael: Yup, no more Steeler flags on this ship either! Now we can chill out and relax for the rest of the weekend. Jennifer: HALLA! Michael: Let’s head over to the Go Kart Course! I wonder what the rest of our crew is up to?

(Go Kart Course)

(Die A Happy Man playing) Marylander: Boy I can’t wait to race you guys. It just sucks that the line is so long. Edgar: Whistling (I know. I’m itching for some more fun!) Marylander: Same. Hold on a second, it’s Michael and Jennifer. Hey master! Michael: What’s up my boys! Raven Bros: Whistling (MICHAEL! JENNIFER!) Jennifer: Guess what guys, we just took down a giant pirate ship consumed by Steeler fans by ourselves. Marylander: LETS GO! Poe: Whistling (Our jobs just got easier!) Jennifer: Well since we’re on vacation, Michael and I thought it would be great if you guys didn’t have to worry about fighting the bad guys, so we did it for you. Edgar: Whistling (We’re in good hands thanks to you two) Michael: When people think of myself and Jennifer, they think of us as this romantic couple who found love at first sight, what they don’t know is that both of us can take down an enemy by ourselves since both of us are talented and smart. Jennifer: DAMN RIGHT! MWA! MWA! MWA! Allan: Whistling (Don’t let the X’s and O’s fool you from how good they are) Michael: Thank you Allan. The fact that I have kiss marks all over my face right now is a good sign especially now that we have no other villains to worry about. For now. Darkness: Whistling (We already had a God Squad before Jennifer arrived, now she’s put us over the top) Michael: She really has Darkness. Hey, did you hear that? Jennifer: What’s that? Michael: Darkness said that ever since you and I fell in love it’s put us over the top. Jennifer: Thank you Darkness! Anyways, are you guys still at the Mini Golf Place? Marylander: Yes, we’re about to go on the Go Kart Course in a few minutes. Michael: NICE!

(ONE HOUR LATER)

(Real Gone playing) (VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! VROOOOOM! VROOM!) Michael: My boys are flying around in those karts! Jennifer: With how fast they’re going, they’ve left the other racers far behind. Michael: Well Edgar and the Salty Marylander bumped three other racers towards the walls. Jennifer: Now I see why I’m not comfortable with either one of them driving. Michael: Well Edgar got penalized because he bumped two of the three, which eliminates him from winning. Jennifer: So it’s Darkness, Allan, and the Salty Marylander who are neck and neck with three turns left. Michael: HERE WE GO! They’re locking horses heading towards the finish line. Jennifer: It’s going to be close! Michael: DARKNESS IS THE WINNER, ALLAN 2ND, AND THE SALTY MARYLANDER 3RD! Jennifer: It sucks for Edgar that he’s going to finish in 8th because he did so well before he got penalized. Michael: Well Poe got off to a slow start considering that he was the last racer to leave the starting area but he did a great job finishing in 5th. Jennifer: How was it? Darkness: Whistling (IT WAS SOOOOO GOOD!) Michael: The little engine that could ends up victorious in the end. Edgar: Whistling (Darkness was lucky that I got charged with bumping or I would have won) Jennifer: Typical Edgar. Although other than that you were excellent despite the one lap penalty. Michael: True. I must say Allan is handling his defeat very well. Allan: Whistling (Well that’s because I schooled you all in Karaoke. Especially you two lovers) Michael: I knew you’d bring that up. Although you had like 3-4 rap tracks that Darkness had lined up for you. Allan: Whistling (I can’t help it. While you and Jennifer had your JT and Nelly Furtado-like duet, as well as Edgar and the Salty Marylander going Tech Nine, and Poe going Big Willy Style on the crowd, I went for extra credit) Michael: I must admit, you’re rendition of No Flockin’ was FIRE! Allan: Whistling ( I learned from Zay Flowers) Michael: Yes you did. Poe: Whistling (Boss, I don’t know about you but I’m itching to go on some water slides) Michael: Well tomorrow can’t come soon enough, and I will definitely go on some rides with you. Poe: Whistling (LETS GO!)

(June 9, 2024, Waterpark)

Michael: Alright Poe, ARE YOU READY! Poe: Whistling (Yes sir!) Michael: HERE WE GO! Poe: Whistling (WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!) Michael: We’re going fast on this tube. Poe: Whistling (Thank goodness my feathers are waterproof) Michael: I know, you, Darkness, as well as Edgar and Allan would have needed serious cleaning after a day like today. Poe: Whistling (I know. WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!) (SPLASH!) Michael: WOO HOO! YES! Poe: Whistling (That was so fun!) Michael: I know, those are my favorite kinds of water rides. The two person tube rides where there aren’t any drops and you feel calm and relaxed. Poe: Whistling (I’m with you. Where are the others BTW?) Michael: Well Jennifer is on one of our chairs getting all tan in the sun, Jennifer: Ah. Finally I can lay in the sun. This is why I love being on vacation. Michael: That I can definitely see because she is literally a model when it comes to her hair and attire except she’s got generational abilities. Poe: Whistling (With how much time she’s spent at that Fashion Store and how you two took care of those pirates, she deserves some lonely time. Also where are the others?) Michael: The others went on that water coaster ride. Allan/Darkness: Whistling (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!) (SPLASH!) Darkness: (Whistling What’d you think?) Allan: Whistling (That was a bit scary especially that final drop) Edgar/Marylander: WE’RE NOT SCARED OF ROLLER COASTERS! Allan: Whistling (Easy for you to say, since you guys are all strong and mentally tough) Marylander: YEAH BABY! Michael: What’s up squad! Edgar: Whistling (THAT WAS SO FUN!) Jennifer: It sounds like it. Darkness: Whistling (Man did I get a scare on that coaster) Michael: I could tell. Edgar, and the Salty Marylander are the definition of risk takers. Allan: Whistling (Darkness and I didn’t want to go on that ride, but we all needed something to do.) Poe: Whistling (Yeah, Michael and I went sliding more than all of you guys) Marylander: That’s because the lines you were in didn’t take 45 minutes to an hour. Michael: Yup, that sounds about right. Poe: Whistling (Jennifer’s the smart one, she’s spent most of the time getting all tan, and didn’t get wet at all) Michael: Well my guess is that it won’t be for long. Jennifer: You know me so well! I’ll go with you and Poe on the water coaster in a few minutes. Poe: Whistling (SWEET!) Michael: Thank goodness that line has cleared up and they’ve all headed towards that barrel drop ride. Jennifer: Hehe, looks like I’m the good luck charm. Marylander: UGH! THAT WOMAN HAS TAKEN THE SPOTLIGHT FROM ME! Edgar: Whistling (Don’t worry, you’ve had me as a nice consolation prize since they started dating) Marylander: Very true. Ever since Jennifer joined us back in January, the two of us have become besties in no time. Michael: I know. You two work so well side by side. Edgar: Whistling (There you go. We’re the burly figures) Marylander: DAMN RIGHT! Michael: Alright guys, we’re going for a fun ride here. Jennifer: LETS GO! Poe: Whistling (WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!) Michael: WHO’S GOT IT BETTER THAN US! Jennifer/Poe: NOOOOOOOOOBODY! (TO BE CONTINUED)