“INTO THE UNKNOWN! INTO THE UNKNOWN! INTO THE KNOOOOOOOWN! O! O-O-O!” (That right there is how I view this upcoming NBA Playoffs, AN ABSOLUTE CRAPSHOOT!)
Golden State Warriors (I’m Afraid of Roller Coasters): How do I assess the Warriors right now without being super biased? Well in one case, they nearly crumbled their entire season, and nearly forced me to make a document about their current situation. On the other hand, they may be the biggest Wild Card in the West. To me, Golden State’s hopes of another We Believe run will be in the hands of how well Trayce Jackson Davis plays against some of the most potent big men in the league despite only being a rookie (Kevon Looney has had a down year to say the least), and if the supporting cast around Steph isn’t inconsistent. The Warriors have the potential to make another deep run, they’ve shown flashes of that especially as of late. But there are still those that believe that their best years are behind them, especially Draymond and Klay. Please tell me that Brandin Podziemski and Jonathan Kuminga have some devil magic shoved up their ass for this postseason. They’re gonna need to, especially since a certain team wants revenge for last year.
Sacramento Kings (A Quiet But Deadly Roar): After last year’s feel good story and forging of a certain mysterious beam, the NBA is ready for the Kings. I won’t go too hard on them for not having a higher seed but that’s because other teams aren’t taking them lightly anymore. Sacramento is still a fun team to watch especially on offense. DeAaron Fox is no longer seen as an overlooked name and has now donned the weight of being a superstar. Keegan Murray is a forward on the rise. (Boy do they love chanting his name in SacTown) However the one setback that they’ve faced this year is simple. (CRACK!) Malik Monk getting struck down by injuries. It’s a shame since he was on track to win the Havlicek Award. The grace period is still there, but the question now is how long will it last. I’d say another year as long as Ranadive doesn’t do anything stupid. He better not ruin the chemistry of this emerging squad, especially that of Mike Brown. Even if they don’t make out of the play-in, they could do the NBA World a favor by knocking out Golden State. Oh will I despise that topic of consideration.
Los Angeles Lakers (The Boys Club): ESPN and Fox Sports may see the Lakers as this sleeper team that is about to run roughshod over the Western Conference. But to me, this team screams early exit. Everyone outside of LeBron and AD is a total mystery box, and Darvin Ham looks like a genius one day, and then gets exposed the next. They’ve put themselves in huge deficits during crucial games and expect to play comeback. That’s not sustainable in the playoffs especially when it’s a slower game. The only thing that LA has going for them is that they’re going to get massive amounts of REFBALL on their side for ratings reasons only. Nothing would put a smile on my face more than seeing this team get eliminated in the play-in. That is if they lose both games. They deserve it too especially since ESPN has been meat riding them instead of talking about other major storylines across this freaking league. (Even if they beat New Orleans again, they’re getting Denver in Round 1, URK!) Although considering that Silver wants LeBron to make yet another deep run, they probably will get all of the calls to go their way. We saw it in the regular season finale for crying out loud. Is that a sign of things to come?
New Orleans Pelicans (Finally Some Healthy Legs!): Even when everything appears to be pointing up for the Pelicans to take that next step towards being a legitimate threat in the West, they are held back by both things in and out of their control. The NBA is Lucy, they are Charlie Brown. Even if Zion Williamson is finally healthy, and playing up to his full potential, it still isn’t enough. Well to be fair they lack depth from anyone not named Jose Alvarado and even then he’s had a down year. That to me doesn’t explain the real issue with this team. Willie Green is a guy who gets completely exposed by legitimate competition. Every time New Orleans has played a heavyweight in the West, it’s been rough sailing for them this year. Nothing shows me that he’s ready to take the next step as a coach. That and they’ve massively underachieved given the haul they’ve got for Anthony Davis. How long until the fanbase calls for the Benson Family’s heads. (They’re already doing so with the Saints, and if this keeps up oh boy!)
Phoenix Suns (2000 Washington Redskins): I knew that the Suns were going to be facing a massive uphill climb this year. Everyone ignored that depth and coaching were their biggest concerns. Guess what, which things have held them back. Depth and coaching. This is why the Superteam motto doesn’t work anymore. Considering that there is so much parity in this league, everything has to go right for a team built this way to win a championship. KD and Devin Booker are covering up a ton of flaws on this roster. The Bradley Beal experience has been YOU GUESSED IT! a disaster because of his long history of being on the injury report. And if that wasn’t enough, Phoenix must deal with Frank Vogel getting tactically spanked behind the bench just like he did in LA. (You fired Monty Williams for THIS!) The most baffling thing is that the Suns did this to themselves. They went from a likable cast with great chemistry to a franchise that has no true direction. Well you can thank Mat Ishbia for turning into the next Daniel Snyder. It’s going to take a miracle for this team to go far even with the heroics of Durant and Booker. The Suns in 4 Guy must be starving out in the desert when there’s no water in sight.
Dallas Mavericks (Talent Must Carry The Load): Something doesn’t feel right about this. Yes the Mavericks have set themselves up nicely to succeed in the playoffs. That may be true, but this next thing is. The reasoning is because of two players. Luka Doncic and Kyrie Irving. Both of those guys are at the height of their powers dragging this team kicking and screaming towards success. Add in their big acquisition at the deadline in Daniel Gafford and you’ve got yourself a team that looks like a dark horse candidate for a deep run. However there are two major causes for concern? Will Luka and Kyrie get the support they need? And will Jason Kidd shed each of his past narratives. I’ve been very skeptical of him over the years, but so far he hasn’t done anything stupid. If you exclude the power struggle he had with Mark Cuban that’s forced Cuban to step down as team owner. Although he’s still in the organization as the head of basketball operations. To me this sounds like Cynt Marshall has a better relationship with Kidd than Cuban ever did. (Just imagine if Mike Keenan went through his in Philly or Chicago during his NHL coaching career) Anyways the pressure is back on in Big D. It’s either going to be an early exit, or they pull off a deep run like they did two years ago. I’d be fine either way.
Los Angeles Clippers (Sedra and Balmer’s Takeover Plan): Will this finally be the year that the Clippers emerge from the shadow of Big Brother before they move to Inglewood? Maybe, maybe not? Right now, this is what I expected from them. Year 1 Sedra, and Year 1 Harden usually means that there’s little drama on the team, few injuries, and everyone buying into what they want to accomplish. That sounds great, but I’ve got a few things to critique them for. When this squad is firing on all cylinders very few teams can beat them. We saw a ton of that in February and early March. Once they blew that big lead to the Boys Club of their own city, the Clippers have been dealing with inconsistent play. Yes Kawhi Leonard is finally healthy, but still they need to get over that roadblock fast. Fortunately they don’t need Russell Westbrook to play hero ball since they have so many other options to choose from. The only issue with that is how will they manage playoff minutes. I’d say Russ, Norman Powell, and PJ Tucker get most of the minutes off the bench. Can this team really beat the Nuggets in a best of seven? Honestly I don’t know. (Who do I want to see win? Jason Kidd or Olivier Sedra? A tough choice indeed)
Minnesota Timberwolves (You Can’t Escape Your Fate!): Even when they’ve had their best season in 20 years, Minnesota must deal with the Basketball Gods trying to ruin their hopes and dreams. This entire season felt like a fairytale. Everyone was playing up to their potential. Rudy Gobert was back in Utah form, Anthony Edwards is a generational talent near the beginning of his prime, and Karl Anthony Towns at long last finally was on a contending team. (CRACK!) But then he got struck down by the gods. It doesn’t matter if Jaden McDaniels has become a deadly two way player, and Naz Reid may be the best backup big man in the league, they need KAT back badly! (BOOM!) And he’s back. It came at the right time. Not to mention there’s good news for the fanbase. They may no longer have to deal with possible relocation rumors to Vegas. Alex Rodriguez is on his way to being out of the picture. You never know, he might ultimately give their fans an epic troll and claim that he’s not leaving the ownership crew. That’s the only reason why I don’t want to see them go far in the playoffs. That and if they run into the Warriors. (QUACK!) They get Phoenix in Round 1. Uh, ok then.
Denver Nuggets (The Mighty Mountain Men): Welcome to Title Defense Season! Even if a few things have changed compared to last year, Denver is loading up for a serious push towards becoming the next great dynasty in the NBA. The entire core is still there, especially Nikola Jokic who has found new and creative ways to skin his opponents alive. (The Dream Center. One that every team wants for themselves) The depth has been the major difference. (Especially since Bruce Brown, and Jeff Green are gone) Who knew that their most productive bench player would be 33 year old Reggie Jackson? It comes to show you that Mike Malone isn’t afraid to play the right hand at the right time. Same goes for Christian Braun who’s a scoring threat every time he’s on the court. On paper this is a freight train that’s about to steamroll past the Western Conference, especially since no one wants to play in the Mile High Altitude. The only way to beat them is if you play a perfect game and make everyone not named the Joker beat you. But can you do it four times in a seven game series? That challenge awaits.
Oklahoma City Thunder (Storm Watch Warning): It feels good to have playoff basketball back in the Thunderdome doesn’t it? Considering what they went through during their last window I feel that OKC has a renewed optimism. Last year showed flashes of what they could be, and great things were upon them. Now you see why they’ve lived up to the preseason expectations. The young core has emerged and there’s more on the way. Shai Gilgeous Alexander has been a joy to watch all season both on the court and in terms of his pregame fashion trends. (I’m not a big fan of those antics, but hey would you blame him) Even better he now has a healthy Chet Holmgren to use on the pick and roll. Don’t let Wembanyama deceive you, since Chet has a similar playstyle and is just as good. Did I mention that Jalen Williams has enjoyed his breakout campaign. The only dud of this season was the Josh Giddey scandal back in October, and even that’s a thing of the past since he’s put up solid numbers since then. This feels to me like the honeymoon period for the Thunder. Cherish them, because next year is when the expectations really kick up.
Atlanta Hawks (Typical ATL Luck): This is literally the worst case scenario. The only reason why the Hawks are here is because everyone in the Bottom 5th of the East was tanking come mid January, they had an easy schedule to end the year, which was full of home games. Not much else needs to be said. I know fans in the ATL and Tony Ressler are going to defend this mediocrity, but look at the long term future. Ressler will pretend that everything is full of daisies and sunshine, Trae Young will most likely still be here, and they’ll think they’re one piece away from a deep run. You said this last year when you got Dejounte Murray and you’ve learned nothing. Besides Jalen Johnson their prospect and young gun pool is one of the worst in the league. Which is insane because they’ve had high draft picks thanks to this mediocrity. Have fun getting whooped right out of the playoffs if you get there. Should be lucky that your opponent in the 9v10 game is also in the same spot you’re in.
Chicago Bulls (The Miserable Experience): Just like Atlanta, this is a team that had one year where everyone thought they were finally turning a corner to suffer a devastating loss and never recover from it. (Ironically against Milwaukee) Bulls fans will argue with me about the injuries, and Grayson Allen breaking Alex Caruso’s wrist, but that’s been an excuse running for three years. What can whine about now, how DeRozan is declining and they are the definition of hot and cold. One week they look like a sleeper team, the next they look like a team that should be tanking for the draft. My question for Jerry Reinsdorf is simple. How long until you overhaul the coaching staff and the executive branch? You got so jealous of the Bucks winning a championship a few years ago, and since that all in push you’ve won only 1 playoff game. If you lose to the Hawks you have to blow it up. Knowing Reinsdorf he’ll pretend that everything is fine, and they’ll run it back for another year. Daily reminder, this man only has rings because of Michael Jordan, Frank Thomas, and OzzieBall.
Miami Heat (Emerging From The Shadows): Deep into that Darkness peering long I stood there wondering the fearing. Doubting. Dreaming dreams no mortal has ever dared to dream before. But the silence was unbroken, and my soul was stronger. Hesitating then no longer. Here I opened wide of the door, DARKNESS THERE AND NOTHING MORE! Yes that term was used in a very famous poem but it also can be used to describe the Miami Heat. A team that usually toys with the media all season long, convincing them that they are dead on arrival. But then they break out and shock you when you least expect it. Jimmy Butler will unleash his legendary playoff reputation on those who challenge them, and the rest of the team will follow suit. Bringing in Terry Rozier, and a rookie in Jaime Jaquez will help with that. (So will a healthy Tyler Herro) Once again the Heat are playing with house money. But will they pull off the unthinkable again? Especially since their 1st Round opponent will want their heads right away. That is depending on who they get. (It would not surprise me if Spoelstra coaches circles around Rivers, and Mazzulla again)
Philadelphia 76ers (Will This Be The End Of It All?): It appeared as if the day would never come. The day where all of the narratives that have held back the 76ers over the last 20 years would at long last end. It appeared not for most of the season. Once Joel Embiid went down before the All Star Break the franchise had lost everything, but his return just before the playoffs gave a long suffering franchise a spark. However despite the return of the reigning MVP, there are many questions coming out of Wells Fargo this postseason. Is Nick Nurse ready to overcome Philly fans putting all of the pressure on him to succeed? Will their depth go from a liability to a strength? Will Buddy Hield and Kyle Lowry truly be the missing piece? Can they finally make it past the 2nd Round of the playoffs? And can they break their edition of the Curse of Billy Penn like the Phillies and Eagles did? They may not be seeded as high as they were in previous years, which may play to their advantage. From how I see it, to end the misery they want to turn into Rocky Balboa. An underdog who is willing to go the distance despite having to face his doubters. Anyways good luck, you’ll need it.
Indiana Pacers (Physical Wonders): Ah yes, a team with a playstyle that gives me flashbacks to the early 90s. An era where physicality and toughness were at a premium. The Pacers this year are the definition of just that. Yes most of their core isn’t in their primes yet, but I’ll give the front office credit for recognizing that in order to help those young guns, they need proven champions. Enter Pascal Siakum as well as the revival of head coach Rick Carlisle. Both of these men have shown this bunch how to win. Even better news is that Tyrese Haliburton has managed to stay healthy all season long. It’s just too bad that Bennedict Mathurin went down in early March. Who needs him especially with Aaron Nesmith and Myles Turner making some big plays in the clutch. Even if they don’t make it out of the 1st Round, Indiana has set themselves up perfectly for the next few years. The time may not be now but hey, at least it’s better than what 2022 was.
Orlando Magic (Miracles Can Happen): Even a Mickey Mouse organization like this one can finally manage to do something with the opportunities given to them. The Orlando Magic, a team that has been the walking joke of the Eastern Conference since they traded away Dwight Howard, one who has done nearly everything wrong over the past 15 years, has made it to the playoffs with a strong team. Yes I get that they made it there in 2019 and 2020 but in neither of those years did they have this kind of optimism. All of the high draft picks have finally paid off thanks to a much needed overhaul in the executive room. (Now you see why John Hammond was one of the worst GMs of the last decade) Paolo Banchero went from a questionable selection on Draft Night 2022 to the franchise face they haven’t had in a long time. Did I mention that the Wagner Brothers have chipped in to play big roles as well as the rise of Jalen Suggs. I must say this, Jamahl Mosley may be unproven as a head coach, but so far he’s done a very good job because he’s gotten the players to buy into his system. They’re a scrapy team that’ll do anything it can to win. Something that we see a ton of during the playoffs. However I believe that despite the fairytale season both figuratively and literally, this will be the learning experience year for the Magic. If they shock us all, the media better take them seriously from here on out. (I said this with Phoenix in 2021, and I’m saying it again)
Cleveland Cavaliers (EXPECTATIONS): Alright, now you guys have a chance to prove that the playoff lights aren’t too bright for you this time. You’ve gotten a taste of the playoffs. But can you prove that you can win an outright 1st Round series? I mean Cleveland does have one of the best starting fives in the game. Mitchell and Garland have been their usual selves, and Max Strus after some early season struggles, has become a fan favorite like he was in Miami. Did I mention that their bench has stepped up since the turn of the calendar year. Both Dean Wade and Sam Merrill have come out of nowhere and thrived in their respectful roles. (CRACK!) But then the Gods struck down Wade just before the playoffs. (Why him, he was a tear before getting injured) From how I see it all eyes are on Evan Mobley. He has high potential, but lacks consistency, which has been the case for a few years. This is his case to prove his doubters wrong, and he better not waste it. Although when it comes to the Cavs and what their fate could be, they do have one massive thing going for them. Remember when Drake consumed the 2019 Playoffs in Toronto. Get ready for the same nonsense except this time the NBA is going to try and rig it for them for ratings and ratings alone. You know who their versions of Drake are? TRAVIS AND JASON KELCE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (I swear if they bring you know who out to one of these playoff games! WE’RE ALL DOOMED!)
Milwaukee Bucks (We Are Not Here To Further Blame Doc): Will the real Milwaukee please stand up? Seriously I have such a hard idea judging what exactly do the Bucks desire themselves to be. Do they want to make a deep run, or do they want to get knocked out early and be memed to death yet again? The worst part for them is that Groundhog Day just struck Fiserv Forum. The same situation as last year, same issues on the team, the entire core aging a decade despite tons of resources invested into them, Giannis getting injured right before the playoffs, and the fear of being lorded over by a major rival yet again. Only this time they have one of the biggest underachievers in recent memory as their head coach thanks to Jimmy Haslam ruining everything that made this team great. “But Doc has a ring!” Only because he had Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, plus the entire Bucks Big 3 from 2001. (Allen, Cassell, and Big Dog all getting rings in Boston. YUCK!) I know he’s back in the city where he played in college, but DOC RIVERS BETTER GET HIS ACT TOGETHER! I would say this towards Dame as well, but he like Doc is the least of their issues. I said it before, and I’ll say it again. You shouldn’t have fired the best coach in franchise history. If they crumble in the 1st Round again, Jon Horst is all but out of a job. What is it with Wisconsin teams winning a championship and then doing jack afterwards? Aaron Rodgers can let you know how that worked out for him. (Giannis I beg you, GET OUT OF THE HASLAM CIRCUS! ASAP!)
New York Knicks (The Gods Hate James Dolan): It doesn’t matter the circumstances, it doesn’t matter what has happened whatsoever, the Basketball Gods must troll the New York Knicks. When everything has been lined up perfectly for them, the taste of karma is thrown in James Dolan’s face. Hey they got a defensive gem in OG Anunoby! (BUZZER!) At the cost of two of their better players. Jalen Brunson is on his way to winning MVP! (BUZZER!) If his name was SGA or Jokic that is. Julius Randle is finally becoming a consistently excellent player! (BUZZER!) Season ending injury. This team is a lock for the Conference Finals. (BUZZER!) Not so fast, they’ve had lineup changes, and have been up and down as of late. Yes they crunched Milwaukee and Boston as of late, but the playoffs are a clean slate where anything can happen. Did I mention that this is a Tom Thibodeau coached team. Yes he’s one of the better and more experienced coaches in the league but his one flaw is that he pushes his players way too hard, and throughout his career it’s a big reason why they’ve run out of gas during the playoffs. But this time, THIS TIME will be different. Will there be plenty of Orange and Blue skies this postseason, or will the gods show no mercy to them again. Stephen A Smith is getting impatient from what I can already tell.
Boston Celtics (PLEASE DON’T MESS THIS UP!): Let me be very clear when I say this. THERE ARE NO FREAKING EXCUSES THIS YEAR! Everything has been lining up for the Celtics to capture their 18th Championship in convincing fashion. Look at it. The Eastern Conference has been a mess all season, they finished 15 games over 2nd place New York, the most dominant team that they’ve have trotted out since 1986, a starting five that rivals the 86 team in talent for crying out loud, the most prolific duo in the league, the revival of a 7’3 unicorn playing like he’s KG, the Podoloff Trophy Winner by a whopping 10 games over OKC, they’ve scored the most points and permitted the fewest which no team has done since the 2013 Heat, and perhaps the most efficiently dominant regular season team not named the 1996 Bulls. That’s all great, but I’m not buying this one bit. Why? Because this is a unit that has crumbled for years in the playoffs thanks to playing down to their competition. They’ve been living on the edge for way too long and that strategy may have cost them a 70 win season for the sake of all things humanity. This postseason all eyes will be on one man. Jayson Tatum. The Boston Media as well as ESPN has been banging the drum to promote this guy into being the next Larry Bird. (This has been a trend since at least 2021) And so far he doesn’t have the accolades or hardware to back it up. NOW THIS IS HIS CHANCE! He and Jaylen Brown have the opportunity to end the demons and make sure that they don’t have to purchase anything in Beantown anymore. He knows it and Brown knows it. If Tatum reverts back to his old inconsistent ways, this team will get knocked out AGAIN! Don’t give me crap about Mazzulla, this has been an issue going on with them for years. I swear if Boston doesn’t make it to the Finals this year, I recommend the organization to bring out the nukes and blow this whole thing up. You probably won’t be getting a better chance than this. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS BILLY GOATS YOU BETTER GET OVER THE HUMP NOW! (I hate the Celtics yes but even I’m getting annoyed with their lack of playoff success. The time better be now) PAUSE.
Prediction: This has to be the most unpredictable NBA Playoff bracket we’ve seen in a long time. (I know I say this every year, but it’s true) There’s no clear cut favorite at least in my eyes since the West is complicated, and the East is a gongshow and a half. I honestly don’t know who I’d even predict to go to the NBA Finals. You know what, I’ll throw one out of left field for you since I still am puzzled over the product we’ve had this year. Knicks vs Clippers. The reasoning is because of media ratings, the LA vs New York narrative, and how crazy this NBA season has been. But seriously though, if the Eastern Conference representative is not Boston, I will laugh like I’ve never laughed before when doing work for this blog. As long as we don’t get Taylor Swift and the Swiftie Empire taking over the NBA Finals, I won’t have a problem with what’s about to take place in these playoffs. (The only way that happens is if Cleveland makes it all the way)
Bragging Rights Sports 