How is the NBA going to one-up the amount of chaos we saw last season? Well look at what they did this offseason. A hard cap has set in, even more parity than usual, an in-season tournament in Las Vegas. A las gee mateys we sail the seven seas of insanity again. There’s also 15 teams to go over in the Eastern Conference. How did they all spend their summers?
Atlanta Hawks (2021 Seems So Long Ago): This is one of those teams that tries to do everything right yet is held back by things both in and out of their control. The last couple of years have been full of injuries, and a power struggle between ownership and the coaching staff. With Quin Snyder in his first full season as coach here, the Hawks should make improvements from last year. Especially if Trae Young stays healthy. John Collins may be gone but hey Jalen Johnson should fill that role nicely (Bleep Nicolet), either that or Saddiq Bey who was the big ticket acquisition of last year’s trade deadline. They’re a hard team to crack, but if they don’t produce this year. I bet Ice Trae is going to want to mind his own business and want the first flight out of the ATL.
Boston Celtics (Will You Play Up to Your Potential?): Years of playing down to competition and crumbling at the worst possible times has taken a toll on this storied franchise. However I’m a little cautious about the Celtics chances. Especially with Marcus Smart, Grant Williams, Timelord, and Malcolm Brogdon leaving. Most of their depth and defensive cornerstones are gone, and they’ve become top heavy. That was until they went big game hunting in the form of Kristaps Porzingus. Um, interesting. I know he has high upside, but you gave up Smart to get him? I shouldn’t doubt Boston’s thinking in this trade because they are good at development. Next they further stoked their longtime rivalry with the Bucks. Jrue Holiday in what could be his potential swan song has been brought in for a push towards #18. And he gets to be with Ben Sullivan, Charles Lee, and Chad Forcier again. (I think a couple of Giannis meat riders on ESPN are jealous because Boston has a cheat sheet. AGAIN) If they don’t win it all this year, I would seriously recommend throwing Jayson Tatum into the Boston Harbor. Will he ever be consistent for an entire season? (I still don’t understand why the media wants him to be the next Larry Bird)
Brooklyn Nets: (RIP Bandwagon World): The drama of years past is finally gone. No longer will this team have the distractions of the Big 3 and Sedra. Now Sean Marks, and the Nets can finally try to establish their own identity both on and off the court. They still have some pieces left over and a number of draft picks for years to come. (If only Houston didn’t have control of their pick selections) The hope this year is that Mikal Bridges continues his rise as a dynamic scorer, and that Ben Simmons isn’t washed. I think Brooklyn will still be a team in playoff contention, but it just doesn’t feel the same as it was a couple of years ago. I feel like they’re still mourning the opportunity that got away in 2021. Will I be correct about that, who knows. But right now, it’s hard to think what upside this team will have. If Cam Thomas becomes the next Kyrie from a bucket getting perspective, things could get spicy at Barclays. At least they’re now a likable cast.
Charlotte Hornets (Free LaMelo Ball): Sometimes I don’t know how some of these teams keep getting trolled whether it’s in or out of their control. Just like in the Anthony Davis lottery, Charlotte got robbed at the 11th hour of a generational talent, and must settle for being bridesmaids. Hopefully Brandon Miller isn’t as big a bust as Michael Kidd-Gilchrist was. With LaMelo Ball in the final year of his contract, it feels like if they don’t re-sign him next offseason he will probably get out of town as quickly as possible. Just like the last several years, the Hornets look like a team that will be a Top 5 offense, yet will give up record numbers of points in a season like they did a year ago. They even got Miles Bridges back. (BUZZER!) Right after his early season suspension. You really think a SmallBall lineup with this type of defense they’re trotting out will lead to success. I mean if they can’t find an elite Center they may as well try this for a year. Even if Michael Jordan is now longer the owner, this team will always punch their fans in the gut. (Poor Eric Collins, he deserves to call games for a better product than what he’s getting)
Chicago Bulls (White Sox of Basketball): This team really thinks they can compete with the big boys. What do you expect, this is a franchise that is jealous of the success of their 1-94 rivals to the North and want that for themselves. Even if Lonzo Ball’s career may be over due to a brutal setback with his knee, it won’t stop Reinsdorf from trying to quick-fix everything. Jevon Carter is coming off a career year with the Bucks, then why not go get him? Same goes for Torrey Craig. Here’s to hoping Zach LaVine and DeMar DeRozan’s legs don’t fall off after carrying this team. They’re not a contender, but they’re not near the bottom of the East. They’re stuck in the middle. And who knows how they’ll be able to get out of this. How much longer can Billy Donovan survive all of this? I don’t know, but if they flame out early again, he could be chucked into a maul of fans outside of the United Center.
Cleveland Cavaliers (The Next Step is Near): The learning experience is over. Now it’s time to see how well they can do when serious expectations are placed upon them for the first time since LeBron left for LA. The Cavs are making progress, but this time we need results darn it! Max Strus had an awesome playoff run with the Heat a year ago. Why not give him a nice contract to fill the void they’ve been missing at Small Forward. Bringing in Georges Niang to help out with their depth situation, not bad. (Thank goodness he’s out of Philly) There are still questions involving the core of this team. Will Evan Mobley discover his full potential? He’s an elite defender, but if he can unlock his offensive skills, he should enter the conversation as one of the better Power Forwards in the league. (He may not be Giannis, or KD but he’d be right there) Donovan Mitchell, and Darius Garland can only do so much. They’re gonna need all the help they can find. Not to mention an old legend is coming home. Tristan Thompson has returned to finish his career where it all began. He may not be what he was but think of all the nostalgia coming out of it. Can this team truly make a run? It depends what happens with their depth.
Detroit Pistons (A Needed Jolt): The tanks have finally been put away. For now that is. There’s still a long way to go for this franchise until they can become really good again. Paying the big bucks to lore Monty Williams over from the Desert was exactly what this long suffering franchise needed. He developed Devin Booker into a superstar in Phoenix, and now he gets the task of developing Cade Cunningham, and Jaden Ivey. There are still a lot of unknowns on this roster like Jalen Duren and Isaiah Stewart, but there are veterans like Joe Harris and Bojan Bogdonovic who could help them get out of the mess they dug themselves. I could be wrong but hey the difference a good coach like Williams could bring would be excellent. If not, the Pizza Dome will still be a rebuilding site just like its been its entire existence. (Them and the Red Wings love teasing their fans. At least they have the Lions)
Indiana Pacers (Patience Please): Something tells me that the Pacers are very close from breaking out of a short stint of mediocrity. It’s probably due to the signings of Obi Toppin and Bruce Brown. I mean they are quality players but how much of their rise was due to them or the talent around them in Denver and New York? Looks like that question will have to be answered during this season. At least Tyrese Haliburton’s rise as a potential superstar is another element that’s taking shape right now. They’re still very young, and their time will eventually come. Especially considering that Jordan Nwora and Bennedict Mathurin haven’t fully developed yet. Those two players and their abilities both good and bad could be the difference of a play-in berth or not. Let’s hope for their sake that Rick Carlisle hasn’t lost a step in terms of his coaching abilities. Indiana is hoping that him being past his expiration date in Dallas wasn’t a fluke. If not, well it’s typical Pacers.
Miami Heat (Who Needs A High Seed?): The dreams of becoming the first 8 seed in NBA History to win it all were dashed by a machine from the Mile High City that stopped for nothing. The objective for the Heat this year is simple. Finish the job, give Jimmy Butler his long awaited championship. They did take a hit with Gabe Vincent, and Max Strus leaving in free agency. But hey, it won’t stop them from trying new things. Bringing back Josh Richardson in hopes of reviving his career, not bad. Drafting Jaime Jaquez who’s playstyle should fit right in with Eric Spoelstra’s scheme. Their big ticket is Damian Lillard. It’s but a lock that he’s going to South Beach. Hell, he’s already close to buying a house down there. There was just one problem; (Yo-Yo Sound) Portland didn’t like the offer. The trade was off. Luckily for Miami, they still have some draft capital to work with, and they don’t have to give up Bam Adebayo. Plus Tyler Herro is back. It’s not what they wanted, but the Heat are still in good shape. We think.
Milwaukee Bucks (A Settled Power Struggle): The plans of becoming the next great dynasty in the NBA suffered a major setback in the 1st Round last year. It appeared as if the Bucks wouldn’t be the same team ever again. Especially with Jimmy Haslam coming in to replace Marc Lasry, and Giannis potentially wanting out thanks to said owner. (It was he who fired Mike Budenholzer not Wes Edens) The question was would they blow it up, or keep the gang around. They chose Option 2. Well sort of. Bringing back Khris Middleton, and Brook Lopez was the first step, (Robin Lopez is back too!) but Giannis is begging for a splash to put them back in title status. Their solution was to shock every pundit with one move. That’s right. Damian Lillard is heading to Milwaukee. The only issue in this trade was that longtime star Jrue Holiday was eventually shipped off to the British Army known as the Celtics. But hey if you want to keep the greatest player your franchise has ever had, you must make this trade. But what about their depth? Malik Beasley, Cam Payne, and the return of Jae Crowder. If they don’t make it back to the Conference Finals, they could be in hell for a while with how many bad contracts they have. (We are not here to further blame Jon Horst!)
New York Knicks (Which Team Will We See?): On paper the Knicks should once again be near the top of a tight Eastern Conference race. However we said this before the 2022 season, and it was a disaster. This time what will their fate be. Jalen Brunson’s rise as the cornerstone of this franchise has been exciting to see. Now he and Josh Hart get to be reunited with another former Villanova teammate in Donte DiVincenzo. He gets to back up Quentin Grimes who is emerging as one of the more aggressive scorers on this roster. Now we get to Julius Randle. He’s been very inconsistent since joining this team. Will he earn a nice extension next offseason? It’ll all depend on how he plays this year. They have some nice pieces to work with again, but will it be enough to make it to a Conference Finals. I feel like James Dolan is going to get very impatient if things don’t go his way. We’ve all been in that spot.
Orlando Magic (At Least Hammond is Gone): Will this team ever get out of the basement of the East? I mean they have young talent on this roster. Paolo Banchero and Jalen Suggs are the two that come to mind. But now the question is, who will support them. The Wagner Brothers showed flashes at the end of the year last year, but can they keep this up? The Magic have promise but they still have a long way to go before they can be considered as contenders. Making progress this year by trying to get to 35 maybe 40 wins would be a start. As long as it’s not those good old tanks, they should be fine. We think. (As mentioned, thank goodness they have a new GM. Hopefully he isn’t a total hack)
Philadelphia 76ers (Panic Time): Ladies and Gentlemen if you thought that the drama from previous years was over THEN YOU DON’T KNOW THE SIXERS! For at least the 3rd time since the turn of the millennium one of their star players has demanded the first flight out of town. This time it’s James Harden. Which is ironic because they traded away Ben Simmons to get him. I would say you knew what you got into when you traded for him, but Philly has never learned this lesson the hard way. This is a team that has been blessed with 6 generational players since Julius Erving and they’ve ruined or wasted every single one of them. Well maybe not Markelle Fultz he never had a chance to thrive there, but everyone else has been this way and Embiid is probably next in line. Not even the hiring of Nick Nurse can prevent this gongshow from continuing to take shape. Commanders fans, this is your new owner, and hopefully Josh Harris doesn’t bring some of that juju over to DC. And the same old narratives of Daryl Morey being overrated, and the “Can’t make it past the 2nd Round” are still here. Will this team ever stop falling into the same traps that have doomed them for decades?
Toronto Raptors (DeMar’s Daughter = David Ayres): How does it feel to become the NBA’s version of losing to a 42 year old zamboni driver? Bad, it should. Losing Fred Van Vleet was a hard pill to swallow. And the worst part is that this isn’t the end of this story. They still have Siakum and Ananoby but how long until they are going to demand a trade. The Raptors have reached the point where their glory years are probably over and it will be time for a needed rebuild. At least they have 2019 to hold their heads high on. And Scottie Barnes trying to single handedly make them a respectable team while they try to build their way back up. Hey at least you aren’t the Blue Jays or Maple Leafs.
Washington Wizards (Long Standing Mediocrity): How long has this franchise been stuck in relentless cycles of mediocrity? At least half a decade if we’re being sure. But to be fair Washington has a deep truck of draft capital for the next few years. Not to mention they plucked Jordan Poole away from the clutches of being a yes-man to Draymond Green. For him it’s a needed change of scenery and he should do very well. Losing Bradley Beal stings, but he wasn’t going to win anything worth a damn here anyways. Poole and Kyle Kuzma fit right in with each other as being contributors to championship teams only for their biggest personality to demand them to leave town. Even if they don’t have success in terms of wins, as long as they are a watchable team, that pairing should work out. Here’s another question I have, is Wes Unseld Jr the right man to coach this team? If that answer is no, all I can say is that move was made only for nepotism and putting butts in seats. PAUSE.
East Predictions:
- Bucks
- Celtics
- Heat
- Cavaliers
- 76ers
- Knicks
- Nets
- Hawks
- Pacers
- Bulls
- Pistons
- Wizards
- Raptors
- Magic
- Hornets
(Playoffs in West Doc)
Bragging Rights Sports 