The sleeper conference of football. The NFC is full of unknowns, teams with potential, superpowers, and the Cardinals. That’s the great thing about the NFL. You never know from year to year. Anyways let’s get to it.
Dallas Cowboys (Poker Faces Abound): Jerry Jones has tried so hard to prove that he can win a Super Bowl without Jimmy Johnson. (Barry Switzer doesn’t count because that was Jimmy’s team) Now is his chance to shed every narrative that’s been stacked against him. This offseason the Cowboys spent most of their time loading up for a push to take down their arch rivals from Philly. Two splash trades for Stephon Gilmore, and Brandin Cooks will help out alright. (And they were good buddies in New England, time to bring back the vibes) As will Tony Pollard coming back on the franchise tag so he can prove why he’s a Top 10 back. (He’ll have a talented rookie in Deuce Vaughn behind him in case he gets injured) The fate of this team will once again come down to Tony Romo 2.0 and McCarthyism. Dak Prescott and Mike McCarthy have been ripped the last two years at the end of the year by losing to the 49ers, now they’re out for blood. Luckily for Dak, McCarthy was calling plays for Aaron Rodgers during the Packers Super Bowl year in 2010. Either way, Cowboys fans are going to be insufferable like they always are. Will they get their wish of making it past the 2nd Round, or will the excuses continue? (“This is a deep state conspiracy against our fans that the NFL is trying to troll us!” -Jerry)
New York Giants (Lady Luck’s Favorite Commodity): It’s honestly insane that the Giants have been overshadowed this offseason by little brother thanks to a certain trade that screams desperation. (Hell, even when they won it all in 07, this exact thing happened in 08 when Favre came to New York) However people should not overlook the fact that the G-Men are playoff contenders again. It was looking ugly, but now both Daniel Jones and Saquan Barkley are back and feel good about their chances to improve both their games as well as their teams. (It would have been weird seeing Saquan in another uniform. Luckily he was saved from slaughter) Making a trade for Darren Waller will also help out in Jones’ development as one of the more underrated QBs in the game. Even if their offense is shaky, the Giants still have a rock solid defense led by Kavon Thibodeau and Dexter Lawrence. The ultimate question will not be the development of the offense. It’ll be whether they get all of the bounces like they did a year ago. Luck can always turn on a team at any time, and for their sake, the G-Men are hoping that lady luck will be on their side again. Can’t always predict the future.
Philadelphia Eagles (UGA of the NFL): We are going to ask this question right now. Are the Eagles that good, or did they benefit from a weak NFC? Don’t get me wrong, Philly has without a doubt the most complete roster in football on paper. (“They’re going to win 3 of the next 4 Lombardi’s.” DON’T COUNT YOUR EGGS UNTIL THEY HATCH!) However the entire NFC East is loaded, and teams will have one year of footage on Jalen Hurts. Hopefully he can continue to improve his game, and lead the Birds back to the promised land. Not only that, but the fleecing of the Saints thanks to the Chris Olave Trade lives on. How about using that 1st Round pick New Orleans gave them to select a generational talent in Jalen Carter. (I still can’t believe he dropped into their lap) As long as he doesn’t have character issues, he and Jordan Davis will wreck O-Lines for a decade. The Eagles are loaded again, even if they had an overhaul to their coordinator room, but can they prove that it wasn’t luck. (Steichen and Gannon were hired away thanks to two owners who want to put butts in seats right away. The Bidwell and Irsay Way everyone!) I think they can, but don’t tell that to their arch rivals from Big D. I wonder what their fans’ response to that last sentence will be? “DALLAS SUCKS! DALLAS SUCKS! DALLAS SUCKS!” (“We want Dallas, Dallas we hate you, Dallas right here AT THE LINC!” Never change Philly)
Washington Commanders (A Fixed Damn Good Culture): Sometimes the best move of the offseason is getting rid of an owner that’s held the organization back for so long. That’s what the Commies went through. Finally getting rid of Dan Synder sparked plenty of diehard fans to come out of their caves and support the team again. Josh Harris and Magic Johnson may have some work to do to fix the mess that the previous regime left, but they know how to build contending teams. (Magic also partially owns the Dodgers, and Harris owns the Devils and Sixers) Washington has been more excited about a football season since at least 2012, maybe longer. Hiring Eric Bienemy as OC to help with the development of Sam Howell is another big move that should help out. Hopefully Chase Young is pleased enough to stay on board after recent trade requests. (To be fair he didn’t know what to expect from new ownership) They’re an interesting team, but will they be able to compete in a stacked NFC East? If the offense thrives under Bienemy with their defense I think they can. If not, well at least Snyder is gone. BEGIN THE BELTWAY COLD WAR BETWEEN HARRIS AND BISCIOTTI! (I don’t think Baltimore wants you to restore the proud tradition of your franchise even if you ended their meaningless preseason streak)
Chicago Bears (Fields of Dreams and Optimism): A year after winning the Tank Bowl, Chicago is looking to make itself a respectable team again. Getting a king’s ransom in the Bryce Young Trade will definitely help with such a goal. So will the continued emergence of Justin Fields and Khalil Herbert. Now Fields has a solid wideout to play with. That being DJ Moore who already is looking like an excellent acquisition. Don’t worry Bears fans, the defense was upgraded in the form of TJ Edwards and Tremaine Edmunds. They have promise, but Chicago is still a very young team that’s still trying to figure out how to win. It may not be this year to break out of the basement, but at least the McCaskeys haven’t gotten in the way. Ryan Poles luckily has done a good job so far as GM. And no Adam Rank they aren’t going 12-5 even with a mystery box of a division. A man can dream though.
Detroit Lions (The Apocalypse): The Detroit Lions and having ambitions of a deep playoff. Something that hasn’t been seen in the Motor City since the days of Barry Sanders and Herman Moore. However this is a very cautious feeling. Every time this franchise has had sky high expectations they let their fanbase down over and over again. The good news for Lions fans is that Dan Campbell is downplaying the hype of this young and exciting team. I mean they have good reasoning. Amon-Ra St Brown, Marvin Jones, and Jameson Williams are expected to be a deadly receiving trio. (Yo-Yo) Right after Williams returns from a 4 game suspension. D’Andre Swift may be gone but at least Jahmir Gibbs should fill the void pretty well. There are questions on defense but getting an elite talent like CJ Gardiner Johnson certainly helps. So will the continued rise of Aidan Hutchinson. This should be the year they win their 2nd playoff game since 1957, however we’ve said this many times about Detroit over the last several years when they’ve had a strong roster on paper. Will the narratives live on, or will a new era begin. The fate of the Curse of Bobby Layne is riding on this season. How will they respond to the challenge?
Green Bay Packers (Where’s Mr Rodgers?): It’s a new day in Wisconsin. Aaron Rodgers is gone. (As long as that state doesn’t lose Giannis because of Jimmy Haslam they’ll be ok) Luckily for Green Bay it was long awaited after how rough his 2022 season was. Now the Packers have a new face ready to take command. Jordan Love, like Rodgers when he learned under Brett Favre, sat for 3 years. Now he gets his chance to carry on the proud tradition of QB stars playing on the Frozen Tundra. He at least still has Aaron Jones, AJ Dillion and Christian Watson to work with. (Plus a strong defense led by Jaire Alexander and Quay Walker) The Packers aren’t a glamor team in the eyes of the pundits, but it wouldn’t surprise me one bit if they somehow won their division again. If they do just that, the entire division will be yelling the Rattler line in Batman. How did they do it I have to know? (All three teams will be losing their minds based on how long they’ve suffered for so long thanks to the Packer Empire. “WE THOUGHT WE KILLED THEM!”)
Minnesota Vikings (Same Old Narratives): Will the Vikings have deus ex machina on their side this season? It’s hard to say when they’re expected to play in a bunch of tight games right from the start like they did a year ago. Dalvin Cook might be out of town, but it won’t stop Minnesota’s offense from going down the field with talent a plenty. There’s a reason why Justin Jefferson is evolving into the modern day Randy Moss. The Vikings rewarded him by drafting another talented receiver in Jordan Addison. (As long as he limits his off field issues, he’ll be alright. I think) Hopefully this time Kirk Cousins won’t be the whipping boy of the fanbase instead of the defense. Ultimately the fears of losing Danielle Hunter were short lived. He’s staying for another few years. (If he stays healthy, then it’s worth it) This is a team that is really tough to judge based on the fact that there are some new pieces and the possibility of luck not being on their side is very real. A top heavy team in the NFC if there ever was one.
Atlanta Falcons (Pounding the Rock): I must say I’m higher on these guys than most people are. Well when you consider that they have a lot of talented young players who came on strong at the end of last year that’s a valid take. If the Falcons are going to make the playoffs for the first time since 2017 all eyes will be on Desmond Ridder. Now in his first full season as the starter he should pick up where he left off a year ago. Not to mention their potent running game got even stronger. Drafting Bijan Robinson was questionable at the time especially with Tyler Allgeier having a breakout season, but when you think about it Arthur Smith has always wanted two solid backs to roll with. (That means Cordarrelle Patterson is moving back to receiver again) On defense comes veteran leaders in Calais Campbell and Bud Dupree, as well as an outstanding safety in Jessie Bates. (Plus Jeff Okudah gets to revive his lost career) They’re not a trendy pick to win the NFC South but it wouldn’t surprise me if they did. Unless the Atlanta stereotype is in full effect again.
Carolina Panthers (Young and Hungry): What is it with teams that want a franchise QB making knee jerk decisions to try and get them. Carolina is the newest victim. Despite getting a solid coach in Frank Reich who hopefully isn’t consumed by terrible ownership, the Panthers are throwing all of their chips to the table. Signing Miles Sanders, Adam Theilen, and Vonn Bell should be major booms for the rebuild. However Carolina drank the stupid juice some say. They’ve been searching for their next savior, and in their minds they got him. Bryce Young. I know he has excellent control in the pocket, and has some fast legs, but this is a boom or bust pick. No I’m not saying this about Young, I’m saying this about Panthers management. Especially since they sent a king’s ransom to Chicago including their top receiver in DJ Moore plus next year’s 1st Round pick to move up to select him. If Bryce becomes a stud as a rookie, they could make the playoffs, if not, the Bears will licking their chops with a potential Top 10 pick given to them.
New Orleans Saints (How Are They Not in Cap Hell?): Why am I getting the feeling that the Saints have become the Colts of the NFC? (They beat them in a Super Bowl, get the irony) I think it’s because management believes that they have everything except a QB to make a run at a title. Here’s my conclusion. With the way their roster is constructed, this team was built for Drew Brees and Sean Payton. They can sign Derek Carr all they want, but I don’t know if that’s going to get them back to the top of the division. To me the fate of this team comes down to coaching. Dennis Allen so far has proven that he hasn’t learned anything from his mistakes with the Raiders. I don’t know why Mickey Loomis believes that he’s doing a good job. The most challenging part for the Saints is that their quest to regain power just got tougher. (Yo-Yo Sound) Alvin Kamara has been suspended to begin the season. Now you see why they tried to sign Kareem Hunt, and Anthony Barr. They both trolled them at the 11th hour I see. When will this team realize that they can’t just cling on to past glory even though those guys aren’t there anymore? I guess we’ll never know.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (A Newage Bakery): It’s a new day in Tampa Bay. Tom Brady has retired. Now the question is who will be the one that has to overcome his shadows by replacing him? That man is Baker Mayfield. Luckily for his sake he won’t have as bad of an O-Line as he did in Carolina last year, and he’ll have a similar arsenal to work with like he did in Cleveland in 2020. If there’s ever a chance for Baker to redeem himself this is it. Besides Brady, most of the pieces on both sides of the ball are back for another go around. That’s good, but the issue that the Bucs are going to face is the guy behind the bench. I have this feeling that Todd Bowles is another one of those coaches who’s great as a coordinator, but not so good as a head coach. But as I’ve said, luckily for his sake the Offensive Line shouldn’t be as bad as they were a year ago. Will Tampa Bay maintain supremacy in the NFC South, or will the Football Gods consume them like they did the Patriots after Brady left there? This is a tricky question, come back to me on this.
Arizona Cardinals (Crumble for Caleb): Ever since they started 10-2 in 2021 nothing has gone right for this franchise. Not only have they gone 5-18 since getting massacred at home by the Rams on Monday Night that season, it’s gotten worse. DeAndre Hopkins is gone, JJ Watt, and AJ Green retired, the Marquise Brown Trade considering the return Baltimore got set the organization back a few years, and Kyler Murray is out for the 1st Half of the year recovering from a torn ACL. Did I mention they just traded Isaiah Simmons to the Giants. (He’s probably going to thrive there because Martindale will put him in a comfortable spot) They better hope to the Football Gods that the Texans pick they’re getting is Top 10. If not, well they can always trade Kyler to a QB hungry team. TIME TO BRING OUT THE TANKS! WE WANT CALEB WILLIAMS AND MARVIN HARRISON JR! Knowing the Cardinals they’re going to mess it up even if they get both of those generational talents.
Los Angeles Rams (Pokemon’s Payback Plan): Last year the Rams suffered the worst season ever by a defending Super Bowl Champion. Now I don’t know what to expect of them. A lot of key players from the 2021 team are gone, and the only ones that are left are holding on for dear life. Will this be the end of the road for Matthew Stafford and Aaron Donald. Both of them are coming off major injuries last year, and who knows if they’ll ever be the same from a health perspective. The same goes for Cooper Kupp as well. The biggest question won’t be involving the old guard. It’ll be whether the young guys are willing to step in and play key roles. Knowing Sean McVay he’ll motivate those guys into a bunch of hard workers with nothing to lose. Which LA team will we see? The one that looks like they’re back in Super Bowl form, or the one that’s facing a long rebuild. If it’s the ladder, Pokemon McVay is probably going to look for a deal at Fox next year.
San Francisco 49ers (My Kingdom For a Healthy Postseason): Part of me feels like the Football Gods want to continue punishing the 49ers thanks to Eddie Dabartolo being forced out due to lawsuits in favor of the York Family. Why? Every time the stars seem to align perfectly for a 6th Super Bowl ring, something horrific happens. In this case despite all of this talent on the roster, especially with Kittle, McCaffery, and Fred Warner in their primes, San Francisco still has to overcome a roadblock. It involves Nick Bosa. Their defensive keystone is holding out thanks to wanting the biggest contract ever given to a Defensive End. The problem is that the Niners don’t have any cap space to pull it off. This could be the difference of making another deep run or not. But then again, that’s not the main priority. You know what is in the eyes of the Bay Area? BROCK! N! ROLL! Hopefully this time Purdy’s arm isn’t as destroyed like it was last year. In fact both he and Sam Darnold got Trey Lance run out of town and headed towards the rival Cowboys. San Fran you have your answer to the Trubisky Trade. You could have had Tyreek Hill, AJ Brown, Bradley Chubb, and Pat Surtain if you just held on to Jimmy G only for Purdy to still leapfrog him. OUCH!
Seattle Seahawks (Pete Carroll = Jimmy Johnson): This team oozes confidence after a season no one saw coming. Look at all of the talent in this organization, coming from nearly every angle. A 3 headed monster at WR, an emerging star in Kenneth Walker, the 2nd coming of Rich Gannon in Geno Smith, plus a defense that’s slowly becoming Legion of Boom 2.0. Speaking of that defense, Bobby Wagner is back in the fold after a year long vacation to visit family in Los Angeles. Oh by the way, the Seahawks continue to pounce on Denver’s mistake for Russell Wilson. Their potent secondary was upgraded thanks to a potential generational talent in Devon Witherspoon. (Julian Love too in FA) Not to mention they lucked into Jaxon-Smith Njigba as well in the draft. (Fun fact: He might be even better than Chris Olave, and Garrett Wilson have been) This is a team that I think could be a serious contender in the NFC with all of the young talent on display. It all depends on Geno. If he plays like he did in 2022, they should be a solid candidate for a potential Super Bowl run, if not, my guess would be they send a mid round pick for Tyler Huntley. PAUSE.
There’s going to be a lot of chaos I feel like in the NFC. Whether it’s unknowns making the playoffs, or narratives being quashed, it never seems to disappoint. As for the Super Bowl pick, God Help Us All!
NFC East
- Eagles 13-4 (#1)
- Cowboys 13-4 (#5)
- Commanders 9-8
- Giants 8-9
NFC North
- Packers 10-7 (#3)
- Lions 10-7 (#7)
- Vikings 9-8
- Bears 7-10
NFC South
- Falcons 9-8 (#4)
- Panthers 7-10
- Buccaneers 7-10
- Saints 6-11
NFC West
- 49ers 12-5 (#2)
- Seahawks 11-6 (#6)
- Rams 6-11
- Cardinals 3-14
NFC Wild Card
#6 Seahawks over #3 Packers
#5 Cowboys over #4 Falcons
#7 Lions over #2 49ers
NFC Divisional Round
#1 Eagles over #7 Lions
#5 Cowboys over #6 Seahawks
NFC Championship
#5 Cowboys over #1 Eagles
Super Bowl LVIII
#3 Ravens over #5 Cowboys
Awards
NFL MVP: Trevor Lawrence, Jaguars
Offensive Player of the Year: Tyreek Hill, Dolphins
Defensive Player of the Year: Micah Parsons, Cowboys
Offensive Rookie of the Year: Zay Flowers, Ravens
Defensive Rookie of the Year: Joey Porter Jr, Steelers
Comeback Player of the Year: Damar Hamlin, Bills
Coach of the Year: Matt LeFleur, Packers
Super Bowl MVP: Lamar Jackson, Ravens
Bragging Rights Sports 