Charm City Beasts: The Full Season 3 (Part 1)

(Omar Whistle/Warriors playing)………………………………………………………………….

Bragging Rights Sports Presents:

A Maryland Culture Production

“In 1996, they arrived in Baltimore away from an angry Dawg Pound. They have been criticized by many people outside of their city ever since their inception. Despite 2 championships and many Hall of Famers they get little respect. They get called names such as Murderer, Running Back, Hypocrite, Overrated, Soft, and others. But even if they are disrespected more than any team in the NFL the goal is still the same. Win the Lombardi Trophy. No one outside of the 410 cares about them, yet they work harder every single day. These boys have a swagger, and like to be pushed no matter what. We as Marylanders call them…………………………….”

CHARM CITY BEASTS

The Unrivaled Themed Story of the Baltimore Ravens

(It’s Never Pretty, It’s Never Perfect, BUT IT IS US!)

(XXXV, XLVII)

(BIG TRUZZ)

(THE TEAM, THE TEAM, THE TEAM)

Lamar Jackson, Mark Andrews, Justin Tucker, Marlon Humphrey, Marcus Peters, Rashod Bateman, JK Dobbins, Calais Campbell, Kyle Hamilton, John Harbaugh, Greg Roman, Mike Macdonald, Eric DeCosta, Sashi Brown, Steve Bisciotti, Edgar, Allan, with Poe, and the Salty Marylander/Narrator Michael Hession.

The Full Season 3 (Part 1)

R-A-V-E-N-S RAVENS!

Prologue:

Baltimore Ravens (Planet LJ’s Redemption Tour): Lamar Jackson is out for blood! Just like every other great player in Ravens History, the National Media is talking at him and trying to get in his head. (Catchy reference eh) His response to ESPN ripping him for not showing up at OTAs was adding 15-25 pounds of muscle. (His throwing mechanics are even better than they were in years prior) It’s 2012 Joe Flacco syndrome, playing out the 5th Year Option of the Rookie Contract and trying to get a Super Bowl out of it. (This is also Giannis in 2020-21 too) The Ravens themselves are trying to overcome possibly the Unluckiest Season in Franchise History. (That’s due to injuries and Joe Burrow) Instead of keeping Wink Martindale around for another year, John Harbaugh decided to replace him with the anchor of Michigan’s BIG10 Title Run last year in Mike Macdonald. (Good to have him and Zach Orr back on the coaching staff) The hiring of Mike Man comes with the arrivals of Marcus Williams, Kyle Fuller, the return of Michael Pierce, and another generational defensive player in Kyle Hamilton. (Add in David Ojabo once he recovers from a torn achilles) As for the offense they fixed the O-Line with Tyler Linderbaum, Morgan Moses, and the potential return of Ronnie Stanley. Like most years though, Baltimore is being criticized for not having big name receivers especially with Marquise Brown gone but don’t tell that to Mark Andrews, and Rashod Bateman. (Now do you understand why EDC traded Hollywood) Also I would not sleep on Isaiah Likely after what he has done in Training Camp and the Preseason. With Cap Hell one year away, the Ravens are going to do everything they can to get to Arizona. THE FUTURE BE DAMNED! (If they miss the playoffs with most of the team healthy, I WANT HEADS!)

Episode 1: at Jets (SOS ButtFumble)

(7 Nation Army playing) Narrator: It’s the start of a new day in Baltimore! A day where optimism and hope is sky high! While the Ravens were on their long offseason, other storylines in the city and state have gotten plenty of attention. 1st of all I must give a congratulations to the Maryland Men’s Lacrosse Team, winning their 2nd National Championship in the last 6 years by winning an epic clash against a Cinderella Story in Cornell. (Yes I go to Penn State, but I’ve always been a Maryland Lacrosse Fan) 2nd the Baltimore Orioles. Expected by many pundits to have the worst record in the American League the O’s have exceeded expectations and are in a tight race for the 3rd AL Wild Card. All of these fun times have created flashbacks to another legendary year in the 410. That year would be 2012. 10 years ago Baltimore got to witness the Orioles making the playoffs for the 1st time in 15 years, Michael Phelps setting the career Olympic Medal Record, and the Ravens pulling off one of the great playoff runs of all time and winning their 2nd Championship in Franchise History. (Check out the “2012 in Baltimore” Series if you are new) On the 10 year Anniversary of this awesome year for Charm City Sports there are plenty of similarities involving the Boys in Purple. The first being with Planet LJ. Lamar Jackson, like Joe Flacco before him, is entering the 5th year option of his rookie contract and likely won’t sign until the following offseason. Jackson, similar to Flacco, has also been criticized by ESPN for his lack of success in the playoffs as well as his strengths and weaknesses, this doesn’t include that the Mothership is waiting to see him fail. (Ravens being disrespected by ESPN. That’s never changed over 25 years) 2nd, Boy Wonder Johnny Harbaugh, who coached that 2012 team to a championship is still lingering as head coach. And like he was 10 years ago he is desperate to get back to the top despite his lack of recent success in the postseason. 3rd Justin Tucker, 1 of 2 players left from the Super Bowl XLVII team is still the Best Kicker in Football. His longtime wingman Sam Koch is gone, but rookie Jordan Stout is ready to take that spot. 4th they have a new defensive coordinator like in 2012 but unlike Dean Pees and every other hire of his, Harbaugh went for a young innovative mind who had been developed by the Ravens with a Pass Rusher Friendly Scheme ready to be unleashed. Mike Macdonald fresh off an outstanding year as DC at Michigan while guiding the 2nd best defense in the country to the BIG10 Championship and getting over the hump of Ohio State. (That, plus Aidan Hutchinson becoming a generational draft prospect) Not only that he brought his good buddy David Ojabo with him fresh from the Camp of Harbs younger brother. CRACK! Right after he recovers from a torn achilles. (The 3rd year of that deal is why it’s taking so long to complete) 5th, the gauntlet of Elite AFC Rosters with elite offenses, and the potential New Frontier of the AFC North ready to take over. 

Finally, the situation that would make Ravens Announcer Gerry Sandusky amped up. BALTIMORE IS OUT FOR BLOOD! The reason in this case is that the Ravens are coming off the Biggest What If and Most Agonizing Season in Franchise History. And not only did they lose 6 straight after an 8-3 start thanks to setting the NFL Record for Players on IR in a Season, they had to watch the Cincinnati Bengals of all teams make it to Super Bowl LVI in a playoff run that according to the Salty Marylander should have been ours. Marylander: What did you say about me? Narrator: I said that the Bengals Cinderella Run in your mind should have been ours. Marylander: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN! JOE BURROW IS THE LUCKIEST MAN IN FOOTBALL BECAUSE HE WAS BLESSED WITH RANDY MOSS 2.0! Narrator: I agree. Considering that they have talked plenty of smack about their run, they need a reality check. Poe: Whistling (The Truzz Griddy > The Bengal Griddy) Narrator: What’s up Poe! Poe: (Hi buddy, I can’t wait to get payback on Cincy) Narrator: I am too. How’s your knee? Poe: Whistling (It’s fine, I just needed a health shot and a backup person in the costume. Luckily there was no structural damage. I thought I was done for the year after that brutal hit I took in the Mascot Game) Narrator: I kinda did as well, but hey this is why you work out at Merritt Athletic Clubs everyday. Just in case something like this happens. Looks like you’ll be out for the season. Poe: Whistling (I’m bummed, hopefully I can make it back by the playoffs.) Narrator: It sounds crazy Poe, but if we get a home playoff game you’ll be back. Poe: (Thanks buddy) Narrator: Hey Poe, do you want to play a round of Pictionary? Poe: Whistling (Sure!) Alright let’s see what you’re gonna draw. Here are the rules, you have 30 seconds to guess what Poe is drawing. Feel free to call out answers. Anyways let’s start the clock. BEEP! Poe: Whistling (A line here, and a line there) Narrator: I see 2 lines going straight up, I see a line going across the middle. I wonder what you’re drawing? Poe: Whistling (Just wait and see buddy) Narrator: Ok whatever you say. Poe: Whistling (One more line down here. What do you think?) Narrator: It looks good so far, and time is just about up. Looks like Poe just drew a goalpost. Interesting but you made it look like a large drawing. I’ll give you that. Poe: Whistling (It sounds easy but I wanted to chew up the whole 30 seconds) Narrator: I like the strategy. 

So with Poe going on the season ending IR we have 2 guests that will be joining us for the entire season while Poe is recovering from his injured drumstick. (Or will they be out of retirement for good?) Ladies and Gentleman, these 2 birds were with Poe from 1998-2007 as fellow mascots of the Ravens, they won a Super Bowl in 2000, and reached 3 Pro Bowls together. Without further ado, Please Welcome Back, Edgar and Allan. Crowd: YEAAAAAAAAH! Narrator: Boys it’s been 15 long years and your younger brother has lost about 50-60 pounds since then due to his conditioning program, but how does it feel to come out of retirement and get back on the field? Allan: Whistling (It feels good, I miss being on the sidelines at M&T Bank Stadium, and it may be tough getting back in shape but I’m ready) Narrator: Allan I like your thinking right away. How about you Edgar? Edgar: Whistling (I can’t believe me and Allan haven’t stepped foot on the field at the Bank since John Harbaugh was hired. Now he’s going to learn why he shouldn’t have put us in retirement) Narrator: Wow, Edgar you look ready to go already! Edgar: Whistling (I can’t help it but I’m excited because I’ve been cooped up for so long) Narrator: I know right. Poe, how do you feel about your brothers potentially coming back? Poe: Whistling (In a way I miss having them by my side on game days, but while I’m out, you boys better fill my shoes. When I come back, we’ll all be together again like we were in the Billick years.) Narrator: How sweet of you Poe! Thank you boys, and I can’t wait to see you guys in action. All 3: Whistling (You’re Welcome Buddy!) 

Narrator: Anyways the 2022 Season as expected in Ravens terms is full of Super Bowl Ambitions. Especially since the front office retooled the identity of this roster. A punch you in the mouth type of team with modern day flash and speed. (That playstyle goes well with QB1) Look at their 2019 season, it was just like that. A 3TE offense with an ability to not only chew up the clock, but score in timely spots. Although this time the receiver room is better. But Marquise Brown is gone, you say. Let me be clear. Getting rid of him was the best move the Ravens made this offseason. Why? (DRAMATIC MUSIC!) Marylander: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HE GOT ARRESTED FOR SPEEDING HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Nothing good comes out of the Brown Family. This is why DeCosta didn’t want AB) PAUSE.

Not only did the Cardinals trade a 1st Round pick for a guy who like Kyler Murray plays video games and is on TikTok more than he watches film, but they gave him $25M per year for the next 4 years. That contract could cost them Budda Baker, and possibly Isaiah Simmons in 2 years. Not only that, but they gave up a 1st and 4th Round pick to get him. Who did the Ravens take with those picks? Tyler Linderbaum, and Isaiah Likely. Likely has been the talk of Training Camp at the Under Armour Performance Center, and Linderbaum despite an ankle injury early in camp has also had a good showing in the preseason. The question around the offense all offseason was who was going to replace Hollywood and Sammy Watkins? That answer would take time to be answered. (The Ravens are very patient aren’t they. They always choose patience over greed) Rashod Bateman is the obvious answer for being the #1 WR in this offense, but who would be his wingman? James Proche had an excellent 1st 2 weeks, but he got injured before the 1st preseason game against the Titans. (Luckily he’ll be back by Week 1) Devin Duvernay has sprinters speed but his value is more so in the kicking game. (All Pro Returner for a Reason) Then Eric DeCosta did something very wise. He saw that the Raiders had cut former Chiefs WR DeMarcus Robinson thanks to a deep receiver room in Vegas. So his solution was to sign Robinson to a team friendly deal. (His uncle Marcus was also a receiver for the Ravens in 2003… and scored 6TDs in a 3 game stretch during that season) So far it has worked. In his Ravens debut during the final preseason game against their Beltway Rivals in the Commanders, DeMarcus had 134 yards receiving including a 67 yard TD from 3rd string QB Anthony Brown. Poe: Whistling (He had our number when he was with the Chiefs, now he gets to do that with us.) Narrator: Poe, good observation, I won’t talk about your injury anymore, just rest up. Poe: Whistling (Thank you, I need some positivity in my life after what I’ve been through) Narrator: Appreciate it. Besides Robinson, there is another Raven that has gotten attention out of nowhere. Undrafted Rookie Linebacker Josh Ross. According to Pro Football Focus, Ross was rated as the highest among any rookie defensive player during the entire preseason. You may be asking yourself, how is a guy that was undrafted this good this early? Here’s why, where did he go to college? Michigan. And who was the Defensive Coordinator of that BIG10 Championship team last year? Who else, MIKE MACDONALD! Edgar: Whistling (All Hail Mike Man!) If you think Ross’ emergence is impressive just wait until David Ojabo and Tyus Bowser come off the IL at midseason. The group of Ojabo and Odafe Oweh as well as Bowser and Justin Houston could be feared by almost any offensive tackle in the NFL.

Most people in Baltimore have been focusing on how the Ravens have improved their roster this offseason on offense, defense, and even special teams. (Jordan Stout = Sam Koch 2.0 #WEARE!) However anywhere you go outside of Maryland the major topic of discussion is something that drives Raven fans especially all of the Salty Marylanders crazy. Planet LJ and his contract! (DRAMATIC MUSIC) Lamar Jackson just like Giannis Antetokounmpo before him is entering the final year of his rookie deal with massive questions about his future. (Giannis’ contract from 2016-2020 technically wasn’t a rookie deal but still) Many are saying that Jackson shouldn’t step on the field without a contract. I’m looking right at you Stephen A Smith. (Fun fact: He said that Giannis shouldn’t have stepped foot on the court without a new deal in 2020 too) There have been many that have said that Lamar isn’t worth that contract. (ESPN’s Dianna Russini is Exhibit A) Even if he gets a new deal he will fall off hard they say, yet they completely ignore that LJ, Justin Tucker, Marlon Humphrey, and John Harbaugh’s leadership carried the most injured team in NFL History to an 8-3 record before he and Fruit Punch got hurt in consecutive weeks. It’s not just analysts that have called out Lamar, its other teams players and coaches. I’m looking right at the Cincinnati Bengals. This offseason Eli Apple in a rant which also included calling TJ Watt the most overrated pass rusher in the league because of the system he was in, (Even Yinzers agree with this take) Apple proceeded to call Jackson a Return Man. Calling him a Running Back or Wide Receiver is one thing, but a Return Man? Come on, now you are just waiting for Bateman, Andrews, Likely etc. to torch you. He wasn’t the only one on the Bengals that trashed him. Jermaine Pratt, the man that guaranteed a Cincy win in Week 17 of 2020 only for JK Dobbins to stiff arm him to the ground, called Lamar the Worst MVP Ever. Yet they forget that one of the worst MVP awards ever went to Ken Anderson in 1981, A FORMER BENGAL! (Although he did beat Dan Fouts in a -59 windchill to go to Super Bowl XVI) The worst take of all came from a so-called anonymous defensive coordinator who according to many local sources just happened to be Bengals DC and former Ravens assistant Lou Anamulo. He says that Lamar could win 12 MVPs and 5 Super Bowls yet they still wouldn’t have him as an elite NFL QB. (When you have 4 days of practice a week dedicated to stopping him and Patrick Mahomes that’s a bold take) Not to mention Anamulu called out Patrick Mahomes and Josh Allen too this offseason. My point still stands, if you’re going to talk that much crap Bengals YOU BETTER BACK IT UP! You thought I was done with this, oh how wrong you were. During halftime of a Ravens Preseason Game against the Arizona Cardinals, Fox Sports’ Jay Glazer reported that Baltimore offered Planet LJ $250M in guaranteed money. Almost 2 weeks later, Jackson called him out and said that he was never offered that contract. It’s just like when ESPN’s Eric Woodyard claimed that Giannis got offered a $215M supermax contract in 2020. Giannis claimed that he wasn’t offered that contract and the Bucks organization made sure that their part time ESPN Reporter wasn’t going to give away the Bucks plans to resign their 2-time MVP and eventual champion. The worst thing for Woodyard after this source was fake news? He got a one way ticket from covering a top-notch-organization in the Milwaukee Bucks and Giannis in his prime to covering the joke of the NFL since 1958. The Detroit Lions! Marylander (Vincent Price impersonation): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! BOOM!!! (That’s what happens when you’re in the shadows of Malika Andrews, Zora Stephenson, Eric Nehm, and Katie George while working for Bucks Media. If you make a mistake in leaking false news for that team, YOU’RE OUT!) Narrator: Glazer may get the same sentence but the difference from this to the Giannis false rumor is that he at least has more experience when covering stories like this. (And most of his takes are very logical. When he doesn’t tell the truth it rarely happens) What’s even more insane about this is that Lamar liked a tweet of himself in a Dolphins Uniform just like Giannis did to a picture of him in a Heat and Bulls uniform, ok. Is Lamar trying to run himself out of Baltimore, or is he just playing with the media? Nevermind Action Jackson is probably mind games playing with the media because he posted a picture of his chest being covered with a massive Ravens tattoo. Just don’t expect a new contract, there’s football to focus on. (Joe Flacco from 2012 would love such a move) Not to mention Harbaugh probably put him in the timeout chair when he saw the tweet of him in that Dolphins uniform. (“But he’s from Florida!” Marylander: I DON’T CARE! Stop getting in his head!) “We have no time for this kind of nonsense, we have less than 2 weeks until football season. If you want to get paid go ahead, if not just tune out the noise.” (Harbs isn’t that harsh but something like that probably came out) Hopefully that distraction is in the past. (I don’t want a Days of our Steelers type of script for this season if this drama continues) For now let’s just focus on the game coming up in Week 1.

The Ravens Redemption Tour, and quest to recreate their Super Bowl run of 2012 on the 10th Anniversary begins in a less stressful way than last year. (We hope) Instead of playing a playoff contending team like the Raiders in the 1st game ever in Vegas with fans in attendance, Baltimore gets a team that they should beat on paper. The New York Jets. A team that has been perhaps the biggest joke in the NFL excluding the Lions for a very long time. A team that has ruined almost every QB and Coach they have had since Weeb Ewbank and Joe Namath has had nothing but hard luck. Although this offseason it appeared to change. The Jets didn’t really make a splash in free agency (But CJ Uzomah is a good get a TE) but like the Ravens most of their success came in the draft or so we think. Former Ravens Scout Joe Douglas, like his old bosses Eric DeCosta and Ozzie Newsome before him, went with the best player on the board in each of his picks. The results appear to be good. They got a potential generational corner in Ahmad Sauce Gardiner, they upgraded the receiver room with an elite prize in Garrett Wilson, they boosted the Pass Rush with Jermaine Johnson who many said the Ravens should have taken at 25, (We’ll find out in this game who made the right pick) and finally Breece Hall who somehow despite going in the 2nd Round is a top candidate for Offensive Rookie of the Year. (Besides WR’s, this was a weak draft when it came to offensive skill players) Now that Zach Wilson has plenty of weapons to work with, the Jets should at least be respectable… CRACK! (I KNEW IT!) Do you have any idea what team this is? Any generational QB talent they have received this century has been ButtFumbled from the minute they arrived. Zach Wilson may be next in line. Against the Eagles in a preseason game, he not only ruptured his knee, but did so without taking a hit to it. (Also the playing surface at Lincoln Financial Field is horrendous just like it was at the old Vet) Robert Saleh shouldn’t have played him all preseason, but once again the ButtFumble can’t have anything good because of Broadway Joe making a deal with the devil prior to Super Bowl III. (And the criticism that Wilson’s ex-girlfriend gave him that shall not be mentioned) So with the #2 pick in the 2021 Draft expected to be out for this game, the Jets starter just happens to be… Bruce Cunningham: “Super Bowl XLVII MVP, and the leading passer in Ravens History, Quarterback, #5, Joe Flacco!” (He’s now #19 for the Jets) Narrator: Oh boy, it’s happening. The matchup that Ravens fans have been waiting for since the end of the 2018 season. Joe Flacco vs Lamar Jackson. The 2 Greatest Quarterbacks that have ever worn a Purple and Black uniform will be going head to head to open the season 10 years after Joe Cool brought a 2nd Lombardi to Baltimore. (It’s those 2 and the late great Steve McNair) Although the Jets will have a boost for this game. That is because they are playing at home on 9/11. Considering how emotional that day is to the people of New York City even 21 years after the attacks of the World Trade Center, a Giants win against the Titans or a Jets win against the Boys in Purple will go a long way to giving New Yorkers a sign of hope. You know what’s ironic? Remember when the Ravens drafted Kyle Hamilton. A player who many pundits said should have gone in the Top 5 of the 2022 NFL Draft, a guy who has made an impact right away since no one has thrown the ball near him this preseason. (Although in practice, he like the rest of the defense can’t contain LJ, Snoop Huntley, and Anthony Brown) Guess where he makes his NFL Debut? NEW YORK CITY! The Football Gods wouldn’t have it any other way. Marylander: WHAT DID THEY SAY TO YOU TO GET YOU TO SELL NEW YORK CITY DOWN THE RIVER!? Jets fans, give us the key to New York, if not, we’ll have to beat you up. Jets fans: STOP IT ALREADY! JOE FLACCO IS GONNA BEAT YOU SCRUBS! Edgar: Whistling (NEVER!) Marylander: Don’t make us bring out our Battleship and have the Flock raid MetLife! Jets fans: BRING IT! Allan: Whistling (Oh we’ll bring it!) Poe: Whistling (They’ll never know what hit them.) Marylander: ATTACK!

Narrator: The atmosphere inside MetLife Stadium was emotional. The pregame festivities needed to commence, and as expected the Ravens fans in attendance, which there were a lot of them, (Approximately 40% of the fans) made their presence felt with a loud “OOOOOO!” during the Star Spangled Banner. That fired up the Boys in Purple just before kickoff. The beginning of the game was fitting for the weather. Wet, uninspiring, and rough. If you are a fan of defense this is a game for you. Both the Ravens and Jets defenses dominated for much of the 1st Half. In what was supposed to be a matchup between Raven QB Greats past and present, it turned into a defensive slaughter. Yes the Jets were missing both starting tackles, and the Ravens were missing JK Dobbins, Gus Edwards, and Ronnie Stanley, both units dominated. The game was scoreless for most of the 1st Quarter. That is until the Ravens defense made the game’s 1st big play. Marcus Williams jumped in front of a Flacco pass, and picked it off and took deep into Jet territory. Baltimore only got a field goal but that was due to a pass batted at the line of scrimmage on 3rd Down. Leading 3-0 the Ravens defense was in control. Even if the ButtFumble drove deep into B-More territory on the ensuing drive, they weren’t going far. Thank an aggressive Ravens Pass Rush for that. Allan: Whistling (Mike Man is awesome!) Narrator: Allan I’m with you. Even with a chance to tie the game with a field goal, the Jets ButtFumbled it by missing it to the left. (The conditions went from bad to putrid in a hurry) How can this game get even crazier? CRACK! (Ja’Wuan James suffers 2nd ankle break) OH NO! You’ve gotta be kidding me. Ja’Wuan broke his ankle AGAIN! Come on, he did all this rehab to come back and reinjure the same ankle! I MEAN KNOCK IT OFF! Poe: Whistling (Settle buddy) Narrator: Thanks, Poe. Anyways this led to John Harbaugh calling out the grounds crew at MetLife Stadium following the game. (49ers fans are with him on that) Enough of that. Let’s get back to the game. Planet LJ after struggling against an underrated Jets defense, finally was able to sling it. Aided by a PI call, Jackson was able to find Devin Duvernay in the endzone for the opening TD. Edgar: Whistling (Calais, why didn’t you play Duv in Fantasy?) Narrator: Edgar I would ask the same thing if I were you. Even as the Jets storm back for a field goal before halftime, the Ravens have clearly established control of the game.

The 2nd Half began with a Special Teams mistake. After the Ravens punted, the defense stopped Breece Hall in his tracks, just as they had done all day long. Even if the rain had stopped a bit, Braden Mann still was affected by the weather. On his 1st punt of the half, it only went 20 yards. Thus giving Baltimore the ball at midfield. Marylander: Way to go Jets this is why you draft Jordan Stout! Narrator: Well he was off the board by the time they took Mann but still. A situation like this is where a well coached team would take advantage. BOOM! That’s exactly what happened. It’s at this moment where the Raven offense unlocked its talents and abilities. Planet LJ and Devin Duvernay were again playing pitch and catch. The 2 hooked up for a 2nd touchdown pass. Lamar in fact went fancy on the play with a no look pass. Poe: Whistling (OOOOH, AAAAH!) Narrator: Even if REFBALL prevented Justin Madubuike from a 2nd sack, it didn’t stop him from getting to Flacco with ease. The rest of the MonStars dominated all day as well. Next possession, next Ravens touchdown. After missing a wide open Rashod Bateman on a deep pass earlier in the game, Jackson made sure he wasn’t going to miss him a 2nd time. Bateman burned Sauce Gardiner for a 55 yard touchdown to put the game on ice! Edgar: Whistling (Can you hear the sound of thunder?) Allan: Whistling (BOOM! BOOM!) Narrator: Like the Ravens Twitter reference boys! The Jets made one more push to try and get back in the game, Flacco deep in B-More territory threw a checkdown to Breece Hall, Marylander: BUT IT’S A FUMBLE! Narrator: Chuck Clark, one of the more unsung heroes on the Raven defense, KO’ed the Jets rookie, jarred the ball free, and Marlon Humphrey recovered. Poe: Whistling (All Pro Marlo) Narrator: The Jets would get a garbage time TD eventually, but by then the game was out of reach. But the Football Gods do have plans for the Ravens. CRACK! Marylander: GOOD GRIEF FOOTBALL GODS STOP WITH THE INJURIES RIGHT NOW! Kyle Fuller, one of our major offseason acquisitions. He’s out with a torn ACL. Thank god Peters is coming back soon. Narrator: As I said earlier, Boy Wonder Johnny Harbaugh called out the grounds crew at MetLife Stadium for how injury prone their field is. Trust me Harbs, you’re not the only one. Even Belichick once said that field was garbage. With that being said the Ravens are 1-0 thanks to an imposing of their will on the defensive side. PAUSE.

This was more of a tune up game than a test for the Ravens. Considering that most of their starters didn’t suit up in the preseason, it’s not shocking to see how much rust there clearly was. Not to mention Baltimore gained only 60 yards rushing but that was mostly due to the weather as well as the Jets solid D-Line. (I had questions about their Front 7 but they proved me wrong) It didn’t matter, because Lamar Jackson put together a typical performance of his through the air. Just don’t expect a new contract this year, there’s football to focus on. Yes Mark Andrews and Isaiah Likely were contained for most of the afternoon but how about Bateman, and Duvernay? Those 2 proved their haters wrong at least for the moment. The defense, no need for explanation, they just beat up an offense with no hope. Next week, they’ll get a challenge. Miami is coming to town for the home opener. On paper the Ravens should win, but the Dolphins will put up a fight. Last year the Fins used Sticky Sand to consume the O-Line of Baltimore in a Thursday Night game on horrible field conditions in South Beach. This time Brian Flores is gone, and the Ravens have an improved O-Line and hopefully JK Dobbins back. However the Dolphins now have Tyreek Hill, but the Ravens did shut him down last year with Anthony Averett guarding him. Enough of my talk, I think we need the Salty Marylander’s take on this one.

Marylander: I said before the game that the Jets should sell New York City down the river to our battleship. One of these times, people are going to realize that you can’t take the Ravens defense lightly. Martindale and his outdated scheme are nowhere to be found. This is a new age for our defense. Mike Man made a great 1st impression by picking up where he left off at Michigan. OUR DEFENSE ISN’T AT FULL STRENGTH YET WE LOOKED SO GOOD! I don’t care if Lamar doesn’t have a new contract, I just want him to focus on improving his game. The media’s nonsense is BS and they should leave him alone. ESPN you have no idea how much was really offered to LJ last week! BTW anyone who calls out our WR room needs to be given a piece of humble pie! Rashod Bateman is a #1 receiver who cares if he only had 2 catches. The AFC better be careful. Because our redemption tour and road to reliving 2012 has just begun. That’s enough for me. The Moral of the Story, RAVENS GOING TO SUPER BOWL! Narrator: It’s only Week 1, and there’s still a long way to go. Anyways, what a way to open the season. Next week, the optimism will be sky high for the home opener. As the rain stops in MetLife, so do the Charm City Beasts. Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (WE GOTTA FEELING! RAVENS GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL! BIG TRUUUUUUUUUUUUUZ!)

Episode 2: vs Dolphins (OH DEAR GOD!)

(7 Nation Army playing) Narrator: It feels good to be 1-0 doesn’t it? One week after a solid win against an up and coming Jets team thanks to defense, and timely passing, the Ravens are looking to build on their early momentum. Boy Wonder Johnny Harbaugh made it clear to the media that last week was a retooling of things especially on offense. Considering that many starters didn’t play in the preseason, plus they had to play on the road in bad weather, you can have that kind of game as long as you win. Prior to the Jets game, Ravens Assistant Coach Randy Brown told an inspiring story of what it means to play in New York on 9/11. One of Brown’s best friends many years ago was one of the Pilots on Flight 93, and he shared with them what it felt to live through a rough time like that. (Most of the younger players either weren’t born yet, or rarely alive) I’m with Randy on this. If I were alive during 9/11 I don’t know how I’d live through all of this especially if I had connections involved in New York, Shanksville, and Washington DC. This story as well as Harbaugh’s leadership was key to the Ravens positive spirit in their Week 1 win. The story of that game was the defense, especially the D-Line. They made Joe Flacco’s life a living hell, and not even adding Breece Hall, and Garrett Wilson could save him on this day. Despite many questions surrounding him outside of B-More, Mike Macdonald made an excellent 1st impression as Ravens Defensive Coordinator. Poe: Whistling (It felt like watching Michigan last year) Narrator: Poe, I’m with you. As expected Mike Man played it cool, he said that this was only the beginning. A season like this is going to be a grind, and when you have to play plenty of talented rosters, you better be ready. And that’s how the defense approached it. 

Another player that stood out on Sunday? Planet LJ. Despite ESPN still trying to figure out how much money the Ravens tried to offer him, (Looks like Dianna Russini and Adam Schefter are making up stories again) Lamar looked relaxed in particular in the 2nd Half. After shaking off some rust from not playing in the preseason, Jackson threw 3 TDs, all to his WRs. Allan: Whistling (Defenses will be in trouble if the wideouts and not Mark Andrews are roasting them) Narrator: Good observation Allan. When Mark Andrews is overlooked by Rashod Bateman, and Devin Duvernay, that’s not a good sign for defensive coordinators. Anyways, like most week’s win or lose, the media has chosen to target Planet LJ. This time the talking heads at ESPN claimed that Lamar should run the ball more. Edgar: Whistling (Didn’t they say that after Week 1 in 2019 and 2020?) Narrator: Edgar I was just gonna say that. When you throw for 3 touchdowns and look very comfortable, you don’t need to run 10 times a game as a QB. Although I wouldn’t be shocked if they ran him more next week. After the game, John Harbaugh was asked by the media about the field conditions at MetLife Stadium. Yes much of it was due to the weather consisting of heavy rain, but how can you explain how many injuries have occurred on that playing surface? (49ers fans will let you know about those conditions) Harbaugh claimed that the Jets may be using an AstroTurf type surface, which is rarely seen now in today’s sports world. The reasoning for criticizing the turf? CRACK! Ja’Wuan James and Kyle Fuller, 2 crucial depth pieces being placed on the season ending IR. Marylander (Heavy Metal Playing): WHAT IN THE PIGSKIN WORLD IS THIS!? (Sidevoice: I’m not leaving until every crack in this park is filled!) HOW MANY TIMES ARE WE GOING TO DEAL WITH SEASON ENDING INJURIES AND BAD FIELD CONDITIONS!? IS THIS MIAMI AND WASHINGTON AGAIN!? PAUSE.

Narrator: Normally me or the Salty Marylander would be all over Conditioning Coach Steve Saunders but here I won’t go hard. Saunders has changed the entire conditioning program this offseason to prevent injuries and so far it has worked. This year at this point of the season, the Ravens have had only 5 players on the IR compared to the 18 they had after Week 1 last year. They are making progress, but still losing 2 players who were expected to make impacts is hard, especially Fuller. The Ja’Wuan James injury is probably a career ender. Now I understand why JK Dobbins, Ronnie Stanley, Nick Boyle, and Marcus Peters were all inactive. It’s because the coaches didn’t want to risk them on such a brutal surface. Being at home next week will be a boost to try and get them back to 100%. Speaking of JK Dobbins, and Marcus Peters, they were full participants at practice all 3 days. Dobbins in particular is ancy to be out there for the Home Opener. The reasoning is because JK has never played at M&T Bank Stadium in front of a full 71,000 fan crowd. Remember his rookie year, all but 1 game had no fans, the only game with fans in attendance was Week 8 vs the Steelers. Peters on the other hand is also excited to be back in game action. In his case it’s because of a certain receiver he will have to guard this week. (He may know him from Kansas City early in his career) And with Kyle Fuller out for the rest of the year, they need Juiceman back and back badly. Luckily for Ravens fans, he is expected to be a go for gametime.

As for the game taking place on Sunday, it’s critical to the Boys in Purple. It’s against an up and coming team in the Miami Dolphins. A squad that embarrassed the Ravens down in South Beach last year thanks to a combination of a Sticky Sand blitz package, humid weather, playing on a short week, and dealing with horrible field conditions. This time the setting has changed. Now inside the warm confines of M&T Bank Stadium, the Ravens are looking to right a wrong after what happened the previous year. Luckily for Ravens fans, Baltimore has been kryptonite to the Dolphins. Miami has never won at M&T since it opened and hasn’t won in Charm City since 1997 when the 2 teams played at the old Memorial Stadium. The Dolphins QB and Coach that evening? Dan Marino and Jimmy Johnson. (That also doesn’t account for the 5-9 record that the Fish had at Memorial Stadium against the Baltimore Colts from 1970-83) This time Miami has Tua Tagovailoa and Mike McDaniel as their Coach and QB. This would be a day where emotions were high around The House that Ray Lewis Built. Prior to kickoff, the Ravens honored the late Tony Siragusa, and Jaylon Ferguson in an emotional pregame ceremony. If that wasn’t emotional enough it gets even crazier. Edgar, Allan. This is what you’ve been waiting for. The chance to take the field and cheer on the Ravens for the first time since 2007 while your little bro is recovering well and looking down from Steve Bisciotti’s skybox. Are you ready!? Allan: Whistling (Of course I am! BRING IT ON DOLPHINS!) Edgar: Whistling (I WAS BORN READY!) Narrator: Poe, what do you think? Are you ready to get the gang back together? Poe: Whistling (Edgar and Allan are the perfect guys to step in while I’m out. Just don’t get hurt. That’s all I ask) Narrator: That’s the heart of a champion right there. Poe: Whistling (Thanks buddy) Narrator: So at long last, to the roar of an excited crowd. Edgar, Allan, and the 2022 Baltimore Ravens. Greg Davis: “Let out by Raven Mascots Edgar and Allan. HERE! COME!! THE RAVENS!!! (Flares going skyward)

Narrator: With their outstanding reputation of winning the home opener (13-1 under Harbaugh and 7-0 vs non AFC North teams since 2005) being put to the test, the Ravens would try to come out strong in front of their raucous fans. At first they did. “Duvernay on the return to the 10, 15, 20, Duvernay to the open field…….. THEY’LL NEVER CATCH HIM! Devin Duvernay! Touchdown Baltimore!” What a way to kick start the home opener. It got better there, Marcus Williams for the 2nd game in a row showed out in a big way. He caught a juggling interception which wasn’t a bad read by Tua. Williams made a better play on the ball. After that the Boys in Purple went on an 18 play 9 minute drive. But in typical Greg Roman fashion they messed it up and got no points. (Don’t run 4 straight times against a top run defense) Yes REFBALL but Planet LJ was clearly short of the goal line. Miami took advantage thanks to 2 big plays to Jaylen Waddle, the 2nd resulted in a touchdown to tie the game. It’s ok because the Ravens got those points right back. Rashod Bateman for the 2nd week in a row, scored a big play touchdown. This one from 75 yards out. Poe: Whistling (My goodness the passing game is now a strength of the team.) You’re sure right Poe. The Ravens looked like they were in control of the game. Much of it is due to REFBALL against the Dolphins which killed off plenty of their drives in the 1st Half. That plus, their Sticky Sand package having no answers for Lamar and the Ravens passing game. The Boys in Purple jumped out to a 28-7 lead at halftime. Should be enough to win right? Well here’s the thing. They are playing against an offense that can score in bunches. Miami quickly attacked a zone scheme and cut the lead to 14 on a controversial TD by Mike Gesicki. (WE ARE!) Yes this should have been incomplete but this was a makeup call to another INT by Marcus Williams. It doesn’t matter as Planet LJ is on his way for a 79 yard touchdown run. Looks like we’re going to be 2-0 on this young season as. (Siren) Marylander: OH GOD WHATS THIS! Intercom: CODE RED! CODE RED! CODE RED! Edgar: Whistling (We’re under attack!) Allan: Whistling (QUICKLY HIDE!) PAUSE.

Narrator: Ok we’re in a safe spot, even if they break through no one can see us. Even if there is a robber in the building we’ll fight fire with fire. Poe: Whistling (Ok, it sounds like a plan) BOOM! (35-21 as Tua throws 3rd TD) Narrator: We are definitely under attack. This is not good. Allan: Whistling (Maybe it’s just someone knocking on doors loudly.) (Ravens fail 4th and 1) Marylander: ALLAN THERE IS A ROBBERY THREAT IN THE BUILDING! (Tyreek Hill comes back and scores a 45 yard TD) “May I have your attention please, a fire emergency has occurred in the building. Please evacuate by your nearest exit.” Narrator: Now the whole building is on fire, we gotta get out of here. Edgar: Whistling (Don’t go near the door) CRASH! Marylander: A Penguin riding a Cheetah, what is this? Cheetah: GROWL! Whole Cast: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! (Dolphins tie the score at 35 with 6 minutes left) Narrator: SOMEONE STOP THIS! Poe: Whistling (MY KNEE!) Narrator: GET EM EDGAR! Edgar: Whistling (Don’t you mess with my friends! Or I’ll kill you with a knife!) Cheetah: AAAAAAAAH! CRASH! (Ravens regain lead at 38-35) Allan: Whistling (Oh we’re safe, thank god.) SPLASH! Marylander: Why is the whole room filled with salt water? SPLASH! Devil Dolphins: EEEEEEEEEEC! Whole Cast: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Marylander: WHYYYYYYYYYYY! (Ravens blow 21 point 4th Quarter lead at home to Dolphins) PAUSE.

Narrator: How can I explain what just happened? The Ravens had that game all but won, and they gave up 28 4th Quarter points. That ties a franchise record set in 1997 against the Steelers and Kordell Stewart. (“You trying to catch Slash. You may as well wait for Queen Elizabeth to dock in your backyard!” -Myron Cope) This game has given me one conclusion. The Ravens defense cannot defend offenses that have world class speed. It’s not just this game. This is exactly why they’ve struggled against Kansas City the past few years. This is why they lost the 2008 and 2010 AFC Championships in Pittsburgh. This is why they couldn’t beat Peyton Manning and the Colts. And this is why they couldn’t beat Jacksonville in the late 1990s. This is not an issue with Mike Macdonald. You could have thrown the 2000 and 2006 Raven defenses in there, and they still would have struggled. Everyone is going to call me crazy for saying that but here’s the thing. What was their worst game defensively in each of those seasons? GAMES AGAINST SPEED BASED OFFENSES! In 2000 they gave up ⅓ of their points that season to the Jaguars who scored 36 and 24 points against them in 2 games because Chris McAlister couldn’t cover Jimmy Smith. In 2006 they blew a 20-0 halftime lead at home against Carolina which was also a speed based offense. This caused Rex Ryan to call out Mike Man on GetUp the following day. Let me be clear. Rex Ryan was in the same situation himself as Defensive Coordinator back in 2007! He single handedly got Brian Billick out of a job thanks to terrible play calling and defensive schemes. Think about playing prevent defense against Derek Anderson and the Browns when they needed only 30 yards for a field goal. Calling a timeout against the Patriots which ultimately cost the Ravens a goal line stand and ending New England’s undefeated season. Losing to 0-13 Miami Dolphins because he was literally out of cornerbacks, and couldn’t stop the worst offense in the NFL. The piece de resistance. Blowing a 24-3 lead in the 4th Quarter in Week 17 against a Steelers team starting Charlie Batch while Big Ben was resting up for the playoffs. Rexy should have been fired right there, but nope they extended him the previous offseason, and if they got rid of him, it would have ticked off Ray Lewis. Then everyone is going to say that Marvin Lewis never had this problem. WRONG! The Ravens defense the 1st 3 years under Marvin was the worst in the NFL by a wide margin. Of their 31 losses from 1996-98 they blew 4th Quarter leads in 18 of those losses. (That and Ted Marchibroda being unable to adapt to the modern offense) The only reason his job was saved was because of Rod Woodson signing with the team in 1998. Woodson to me is the man that changed the culture of the Ravens, not Ray Lewis. Ray was already there, they just needed a veteran leader on defense who knew how to win. (Shannon Sharpe was that to the offense) The Ravens may lack that in some ways, but the emotional leader of their defense in Marcus Peters just came back. CRACK! And he got injured late in the game. Luckily he’ll go by next week but still.

I know the fanbase wants John Harbaugh chucked into the Inner Harbor but let me be clear. Most of this was out of his control. The reason Miami came back was because the defense was out of cornerbacks and pass rushers, as well as their scheme failing due to the High End Talent of their opponent. I know everyone is calling out Mike Man for running man-man at the end of the game instead of zone but here’s the thing. Everything they tried in the 2nd Half failed. EVERYTHING! This is what happens when you play the fastest receiving duo in NFL History who are both Top 10 receivers. And if you have rookies and practice squad players guarding them due to injuries, there’s a good chance you’ll suffer. (Like I said, same thing that happened against the Chiefs) I can’t even blame this on Greg Roman. He called one of the best games he’s ever called in his career. Yes the 4th and 1 decisions were questionable, but the 2nd one they had no choice but to go for it. I know everyone would say kick the field goal. That was not an option. We have Justin Tucker sure but trying a 58 yard field goal, on grass, and against the wind is a death sentence no matter how good the kicker is. The 4th and Goal play. Right call, bad execution. The coaching staff may be outdated thanks to many fans but here’s the thing. They’re not the problem. The problem is ONCE AGAIN Steve Saunders. The fact that this man still has a job after another instance of where the defense ran out of corners and pass rushers after an entire offseason devoted to preventing injuries is insulting. He has learned nothing from his time in San Francisco during the Jim Harbaugh years. It seems like everywhere he goes, Greg Roman goes with him. Also why did they hire Adrian Dixon? That man was a big reason for all of the injuries coming out of Tennessee last year? Did they not see how he and the rest of the Titans training staff potentially ruined Derrick Henry’s prime? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? Although to be fair Brian Billick would have done the same thing Harbaugh did with the training staff. I swear both Harbs as well as the guy he replaced only hire their friends and sometimes are frustrating to watch. They should make a change but this is not how life works around Steve Bisciotti. He isn’t a fan of change. Why would he be? The Ravens have a Super Bowl window that most teams would dream to have. And one bad contract, trade or move to the coaching staff could ruin it.

I didn’t get to the most depressing part of this. The Ravens didn’t even have the biggest choke in their own city over the weekend. The winner of that honor can be described with 3 words. “SWING AND A DRIVE! GET UP! GET UP! VLADDY JR HAS DONE IT AGAIN!” The Baltimore Orioles. Not only did they blow 2 separate leads in the 8th and 9th innings against the arch rival Blue Jays, this was also to complete a sweep. Now 8 games out of a Wild Card spot, the Cinderella Story coming out of Camden Yards is probably over. (1989, and 1992 all over again) Here’s what makes this even worse. The O’s did this on an International Stage! And worse it’s against Toronto, FREAKING TORONTO! (I did cover the Blue Jays in 2016, so I should be more light) The one team that the Orioles can’t beat during their Cinderella runs. The one boogeyman that has haunted this franchise for 35 years! And they got knocked out just like they did during Cal Ripken’s prime. (Not to mention they still have to play the Yankees and Astros) A rough weekend isn’t it! In the Ravens case, this shouldn’t be as big of a deal as the fans are making it. A game like this happens to the Boys in Purple EVERY SINGLE YEAR! And usually the next week, they make a statement. This was the game they needed to take a commanding lead in the division. Now it gets harder. Next week is against the rival Patriots, they should win the game, but they have never won in Foxborough during the regular season. And after that, Buffalo, although it’s at home the Ravens haven’t won at M&T since Blackout Weekend a year ago. (Which is the longest home losing streak in franchise history) They cannot afford to be 1-3 going into that Bengals game in Week 5. But to be fair, this is a team that laid an egg like this in 2012 against the Dream Team Eagles yet beat Tom Brady and the Pats the next week. I wouldn’t be shocked if they did the same to BillsMafia. As they say in Hairspray. I know we’ve come so far but we’ve got so far to go. I know the road seems long but it won’t be long till it’s time to go. That’s the mentality the Ravens should use. This is their last chance before Cap Hell next offseason. And they know it. In the end I’m glad we’re dealing with this now rather than in November or December. A loss like this only makes a team stronger. Anyways, how did the rest of the AFC North do this week? (DRAMATIC MUSIC!) (Browns/Bengals/Ravens/Steelers all suffer late game collapses) Whole Cast: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Well the Ravens are still the best team in the division I guess) PAUSE.

Episode 3: at Patriots (Back on Schedule)

Narrator: Nothing motivates a team more than blowing a massive lead in the 4th Quarter of a game early in the season. In the Ravens case this usually happens every year. After an embarrassing secondary performance due to injuries and playing a team with world class speed, the Boys and Purple have it clear that they won’t let this happen again. Boy Wonder Johnny Harbaugh made it clear on Monday during team meetings, the meltdown against Miami is not going to ruin our season. (Shout out to Harbs for entering the 60 year old club this week) It will not break us going forward. He has the right point. During a majority of the Harbaugh Era, the Ravens following an ugly loss or blown lead have usually gone on a hot streak shortly afterwards. For example, Baltimore gave up 29 points in the 4th Quarter and Overtime last year against the Raiders on Monday Night Football in Week 1, the following week they stormed back from a 11 point deficit to beat their boogeyman in the Chiefs. Which was the beginning of 8 wins in 10 games. However there was a concern surrounding the team. Beginning in Week 15 of the previous season, the Ravens have lost their last 4 home games, all in the final minute or overtime. It mostly can be due to late game defensive meltdowns, or bad play calling, or being outclassed by much better teams, but according to the patriotic fans and many Ravens PSL Owners one thing stands out. Since getting rid of the Color Guard Trot with Lee Greenwood’s God Bless the USA playing during the Trot, on top of getting rid of their longtime introduction song in U2’s Where the Streets Have No Name in 2020, the Boys in Purple have a 10-9 record at M&T Bank Stadium. Many die-hard fans are begging Team President Sashi Brown or PA Announcer Greg Davis to bring those 2 songs back like they did with Edgar and Allan. (My grandparents just happen to be 2 of those angry Marylanders who want their traditions back) Poe: Whistling (If this keeps up they better) Narrator: Poe, I’m with you. Hopefully we’ll be able to win a game at home soon. The fans need something good to cheer about. Much of the heat after the Dolphins loss went to DC Mike Macdonald. However the issue that Mike Man is facing is the same one that every other Ravens Defensive Coordinator that has come before him. The inability to defend offenses with speed. Something about not being able to run with track stars or picking your poison have taken its toll. Mike Man called it a learning experience game. Considering that the NFL is allowing wide open offenses with receivers that are uncontained, it’s certainly not a bad point of view.

This leads us to the next whipping boy of Ravens fans, especially the Lamar Fanboys. Eric DeCosta. Some people are saying that his roster construction has been bad ever since he took over for Ozzie Newsome, but in reality he has had either bad luck or trying to get out of the shadows of perhaps the Greatest GM of All Time. (I feel like S, MLB, LT, QB, and OLB are such hard acts to follow considering who has played for the Ravens over the year) DeCosta still is a solid GM, considering that the Ravens pick near the end of the 1st Round and are up against the cap every year there is nothing to be upset about. But some of these fans are both spoiled and are total perfectionists. Edgar: Whistling (Sounds like a Marylander to me) Narrator: Edgar I was just pointing that out. In some ways Ravens fans rival their division counterparts from Pittsburgh. When they win, the fans say that they are going to the Super Bowl no matter how they win. When they lose, they want everyone fired, say the team sucks, and should tank for the draft. Allan: Whistling (We have so much in common with YinzerLand) We sure do Allan. Even as the Ravens injury concerns have grown once again, and the calls for Steve Saunders and Adrian Dixon heads have begun, there at least is some hope for the Boys in Purple. JK Dobbins is expected to make his long awaited return this weekend. It may take him a game or 2 to get up to speed but this is a very good sign. Marylander: UGH! Narrator: What? Marylander: We need to talk about Ronnie Stanley, NOTHING GOOD EVER COMES OUT OF NOTRE DAME! Narrator: Oh please, they aren’t trying to rush him like last year. Marylander: YES BUT THIS SUCKS! Narrator: Ok buddy, same some energy for the game. Hey Poe, you want a snow cone? Poe: Whistling (Sure) Narrator: Here you go, Edgar and Allan I also got you guys some snow cones. Edgar/Allan: Whistling (Sweet)

Narrator: One week after perhaps the worst defensive quarter since 2007, the Boys in Purple head north to face a long time rival. New England. Unlike Miami, the Patriots offense isn’t as explosive but Mac Jones is searching for that one game to get him going. Even with Matt Patricia calling plays, Jones certainly has the confidence of a young Tom Brady. Last week against the Steelers was a start, but Baltimore’s unit should be a test. Not to mention the Ravens have never won at Gillette Stadium during the regular season despite 2 playoff wins in 2009 and 2012. Speaking of 2012 the Ravens that season blew a huge lead in Week 2 as well. Who did they play in Week 3? The Patriots. Who knows history could repeat itself (Who will be chanting BS this time?) Early on Mac Jones would take advantage of one mismatch. DeVante Parker being guarded by rookie Jalyn Armour-Davis. Armour-Davis, the major whipping boy of last week’s loss against the Dolphins. Got burned on the Pats 1st play of the game. However the Ravens defense stuffed them thanks to a sack from Patrick Queen on 3rd Down. That gave the ball to Planet LJ and the offense. In a game that proved to be the 1st big test for the Baltimore offense considering that the Pats had a Top 10 defense, and Matthew Judon looking for payback, the task of victory and being able to run the ball would be harder. CRACK! Marylander: OH COME ON FOOTBALL GODS! NOW WE’RE OUT OF LEFT TACKLES! First Ja’Wuan James suffering a career ending injury against the Jets, now this? Narrator: The injury meant that 4th Round pick Daniel Faalele would be playing out of position. So far the concerns up front didn’t matter. Jackson and Mark Andrews went to work. They connected 4 times including a shovel pass for the 1st points of the game. Poe: Whistling (Greg Roman running a shovel pass ala Eric Bienemy, LOVE IT!) Narrator: Poe good observation. However the Patriots wouldn’t let their arch rivals get away with an early lead. Jones led his men deep into Raven territory with DeVante Parker continuing to burn JAD. (Welcome to Harbs Doghouse) But they only would get 3 points out of it. From that moment on, the 2 defenses would trade key stops. Belichick and his execution of Order 66, would give the Ravens O-Line fits. Baltimore countered by stopping New England on a 4th and Short. This should be the boost to wake up the offense, but Planet LJ was schooled by an excellent read from Jonathan Jones. His interception, set up the go ahead TD and a 10-7 lead. But just like many great battles between these 2 teams over the years, the Boys in Purple responded to the challenge. Jackson used both his arm and his legs to get Baltimore into the opposing redzone. After chewing up 5 minutes of clock, Lamar connected with GoldMine Andrews for a 2nd touchdown. This time Andrews gave Devin McCourty PTSD of getting mossed by Anquan Boldin in the 2012 AFC Championship Game. Same endzone. As the 1st Half ended there was one thing that was being realized, this game was a mirror image of that Week 3 game 10 years ago at M&T.

As the 2nd Half began, the script played out the same. Patriots get the ball to start the 2nd Half, then march down the field to take the lead. (Thank Patrick Queen for dropping a sure pick thanks to him tripping) The Ravens then responded by going Schembechler Style on the Hoodie. Who knew that Josh Oliver would still be involved in this offense? Well in this case he caught his 1st NFL Touchdown to give the Ravens the lead right back. BOOM! Then Mike Man and his scrapy defense came out of hibernation! They forced a quick 5 drive that ended in a punt. Devin Duvernay took the punt 44 yards into Patriots territory. (A nice block from Kyle Hamilton sprung him free) Planet LJ with a short field would take advantage of it. Speaking of Duvernay, he ended up catching the TD pass to extend the lead to 8. That’s a scoring drive he created right there. At that point, Mac Jones had played mistake free football to this point, all that ended when he was picked clean by Josh Bynes. (By the way his 1st INT since Week 11 of 2019) Luckily for the fans in Foxborough, it would only lead to a field goal, as JT would connect from 56 yards out. (Justin Tucker and 50+ yard field goals = Money in the Bank) Leading by 11 at the end of the 3rd Quarter, the Ravens were facing a similar situation as the previous weekend. Up double digits in the 4th Quarter in a game they need to win for eventual playoff seeding. Just like last week, the nerves from every Marylander began to creep in. The Patriots as expected in a clash like this answered with a touchdown drive just like that. They would have gotten a spectacular 2 point conversion had Rhamondre Stevenson not been tackled by Marcus Peters. This was now a tight game again. Let all of those Patriots fans in the stands think they will pull off an emotional win, because the Boys and Purple will strike back as Marylander: No! BATEMAN! NOOOOO! WHY DO YOU BETRAY US NOW! WHY IS THIS CHAOS HAPPENING! (Don’t worry Hollywood would have fumbled that too) Narrator: Once again, every Ravens fan had deer in the headlights. Taking advantage of the fumble, New England made it to B-More 10. At this rate I’m starting to believe that Harbaugh can’t adapt to the modern offense. Actually I’d take that back. Why? HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! High End Talent that’s why! DeVante Parker had been dominating for most of the day, and once the Ravens changed their matchups, he was put on lockdown. Marlon Humphrey’s endzone interception is evidence. But even with the interception, the Ravens can’t get any points out of it. On top of that Jordan Stout got his Welcome to the NFL moment by shanking the punt to end the drive. Oh god this can’t happen again can’t it? “Ravens bring some pressure, Jones beats it with a strike to Agholor! (Hamilton the Musical theme playing) KNOCKED OUT FROM BEHIND! BALL TO THE SIDELINE! WAS HE INBOUNDS! YES HE WAS!” Marylander: JUST! YOU! WAIT! Narrator: Wow you’re fired up my man! Marylander: NO MORE SHENANIGANS FROM LAST WEEK! WE’RE ENDING IT NOW! Narrator: If you say so, Salty Marylander. Now the Ravens can go for the knockout punch. Rashod Bateman, who had been quiet all day, came up with a huge 35 yard catch to put the Ravens in scoring range. Lamar and his legs would do the rest. You know what that means boys? We got a Jackson 5! Edgar: Whistling (ABC) Allan: Whistling (Is easy as 1-2-3) Poe: Whistling (Oh baby, Do-Re-Mi) All 3: Whistling (ABC, 1-2-3, baby you and me) Narrator: Even as Justin Tucker missed the extra point, the game is likely out of reach. Up by 11 with the Patriots out of timeouts it’s time to bring out Sandman. Juiceman would do the rest. 2nd straight possession for Peters with a turnover. 4th of the game for the Ravens. How does this get worse? BOOOOOOOM! Oh God? Oh God? I have a mad respect for the Patriots but why Mac? Until the 4th Quarter he had a flawless performance. I bet the Football Gods want to get after Bill Belichick after years of them being on his side. That may be the only other explanation. PAUSE.

As Big Sean would say last night took an L, but tonight I’ll bounce back. That’s what the Ravens did in this game. The reward is John Harbaugh becoming the 1st Coach in Ravens History to win 150 games. A solid boost of morale going forward. This was a game that really proved how far they had come from last week. When Baltimore got down into the same situation, they didn’t crumble. They had their top DBs on the field. And it made a difference. Yes they need to fix the total yards allowed problem, but considering that they have a new system on defense, playing a good bit of rookies, and are dealing with players being out with injury or just coming back from it, I wouldn’t panic. (They went through this in 2019 as well although Martindale was in Year 2) What a difference a week makes eh. Last week Kyle Hamilton was being declared as a bust, this week, he made 2 of the biggest plays of the game. That’s gonna boost his confidence going forward. If he keeps this up, that would be great. As for the offense, it’s much improved from last year. Not many people will say this but I will. Trading Marquise Brown was the best thing that could have happened for Lamar Jackson. Not having to focus on how many targets his BFF would get has allowed him to spread the ball all over the field. Through 3 games he has an NFL Leading 10 Touchdown Passes. He has become the 2nd player ever to have a 3TD Pass, and 1 Rushing TD game in consecutive weeks. (The other? Josh Allen in 2020) Plus he has recorded 39+ Fantasy Football points in those 2 games as well. Only Dalvin Cook in 2020, and LaDainian Tomlinson in 2006 have done that since 1950. Not to mention the Ravens have a deadly trio of weapons for him to work with. Mark Andrews is still putting up his typical numbers. But Devin Duvernay and Rashod Bateman have come on strong these 1st 3 weeks. And with JK back to full strength, plus Ronnie Stanley and Gus Edwards return looming, this offense could be even scarier. We could have another 2019 type offense… BUT BETTER! It’s still early and they play a tough opponent in the Buffalo Bills next week at home. If they win that game, which there’s a 50-50 chance they will, it will banish what happened against the Dolphins who by the way beat the Bills in epic fashion. Anyways I have one thing to say. Hit it Boys! Marylander: I ain’t worried ‘bout it right now. Ravens doing well, 2012, Big Truzz! I ain’t worried ‘bout it right now. LJ in the flesh, the D is gonna mesh, Big Truzz! I ain’t worried ‘bout it. Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (……………………………………………………………………) Marylander: I ain’t worried ‘bout it. Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (……………………………………………………………………) Marylander: I ain’t worried ‘bout it. Crowd: R-A-V-E-N-S RAVENS!

Episode 4: vs Bills (NOT AGAIN!)

Bills vs Ravens: Can I at least recap this game and not have to separate it? (Sidevoice: Sure) Thank goodness. Anyways the Ravens have a chance to make themselves legit again in a home showdown against the Bills. It will be harder for them since M&T Bank Stadium has been swarmed by the Almighty BillsMafia. (You can thank the not-so-tough Marylanders for selling their tickets on SeatGeek) So far the Boys in Purple have jumped out to a 20-3 lead but that’s more due to Buffalo’s offense being a bit too sloppy in the early going. Lamar Jackson and the Ravens offense have been steamrolling teams to this point but one element changed the whole fortitude of this game. REFBALL! Just like in last year’s Blackout game, Jerome Boger was trying to bring karma to Ravens fans after the Bay Area called him out in the Super Bowl 10 years ago. An Offensive PI call against Mark Andrews, and a no-call on Jordan Poyer allowed the Bills to stay alive. That’s when Josh Allen finally woke up. As did their defense which by the way became the 1st team since the 2019 Patriots to give up only seven 2nd Half points total in the 1st 4 games. (Those points came last week against Miami on a 3rd and 22) Just like they did against LA, Buffalo took advantage of a bad O-Line and the Ravens losing JK Dobbins and Rashod Bateman to minor injuries. Not to mention both teams’ offenses have had trouble navigating through the rain. (Or it’s because both defenses have had outstanding track records against the other’s offense) The Ravens at least for their sake have a chance to pull ahead. Despite being under countless pressure all day, the NFL obviously having money on the Bills, and ESPN rooting against him, Planet LJ has a shot to make himself known again as a legit MVP candidate. They even got it down to the 1 yard line. But got stalled out on back to back plays thanks to more exposing of the O-Line due to the Bills outstanding LB core. On 4th and Goal, John Harbaugh has 2 choices. 1: Kick the field goal and have the risk of giving up the game losing TD because Allen has been on a tear over the past few drives. Or 2: Play NFL Blackjack by going for it. Fortune favors the bold as… Marylander: Why aren’t you playing for the field goal, why is this play so bad, OH MY (Censored) GOD! WHAT THE (Censored) THIS IS SUCH (Censored) THE (Censored) BOY WONDER! YOU (Censored) YOU (Censored) WHIPPERSNAPPERS! (It’s the right decision because of having to deal with Josh Allen on the other side, but once again the Bills Front 7 forced the mistake) (Censored) AND FOR (Censored) HELL! YOU CAN’T SCORE AT THE GOAL LINE BECAUSE OF ALL THESE OFFICIATING (Censored) PAUSE. Narrator: Yes that may have been questionable, but at least the Ravens stopped them on a 3rd Down. BEEP! “Personal Foul, Roughing the Passer, Defense #21.” Marylander: What? WHAT! WHAT IS THIS CRAZY NONSENSE! ALL OF THIS TIME AND YOU STILL DON’T WHAT IN THE WORLD ROUGHING THE PASSER IS FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Narrator: That BS call, and excellent clock management by Ken Dorsey compared to the mess he had last week allows the Bills to leave town as winners. How many conspiracies are Ravens fans going to have? Poe being injured, a 10-10 record at home since getting rid of Lee Greenwood and U2, Greg Roman being overmatched, Steve Saunders being a hack? Also can we please stop the Fire Harbaugh campaign? He has a chance to redeem himself next week in a situation that he has thrived in. (He has never lost a Blackout Night Game, and is 18-3 at home in primetime) Poe: Whistling (Please calm down. We need positivity) Narrator: Thank you Poe, you’ll help me get through this. (I am going to the Blackout next week against Cincinnati, PLEASE DON’T LOSE THAT GAME!)

Mini Story: Blackout History

Narrator: I’m going to ask you a question and there’s no wrong answer. What do you think is the greatest atmosphere in the National Football League? Plenty of people would say Arrowhead Stadium, others would say the 12th Man of Seattle. Some would say the Superdome. And there would be a few takes for Buffalo and Green Bay. To me, as a diehard Marylander nothing compares to The World’s Largest Outdoor Insane Asylum that is M&T Bank Stadium. It may not be as daunting to some teams as the old Memorial Stadium was but there’s always one home game every year in that building that makes the experience that much special. THE BLACKOUT! Marylander: Are you surprised by what it has become? Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (NO!) “HERE WE ARE DON’T TURN AWAY NOW! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! WE ARE THE WARRIORS THAT BUILT! THIS!! TOWN!!!” Marylander: It is a very difficult place to play if you are playing for another team. “The Blackout, it’s on a whole nother level.” Allan: Whistling (It only seats 71,000 compared to larger stadiums across the NFL, but the Blackout takes the experience of being a Ravens fan to new heights) “130 decibels in this stadium right now!” Poe: Whistling (This is what I call a Fresh Wind from Football Heaven) “Exit Light! Enter NIGHT!” Edgar: Whistling (There is no place I’d rather be in than that game in front of that raucous crowd.) “And now Ladies and Gentlemen, HERE COME THE RAVENS!” (Flares going skyward)

Narrator: 18 years ago, Steve Bisciotti in his 1st season as majority owner of the Baltimore Ravens decided that the team needed an alternate uniform. The Ravens had worn purple with white pants for home games, and all white on the road. (They wore White Striped Socks too) A more classic look thanks to the old school mentality of previous owner and NFL Pioneer Art Modell. Bisciotti claimed that they had never really used black despite it being their secondary color. So by the Spring of 2004, Bisciotti announced that the Ravens would be dawning a new uniform. Black Jerseys, with Black Pants, and Black Socks. (The Black Socks would eventually be added to their main unis too) They used the new uniform as a marketing idea to make them more intimidating to the NFL than they already were. Marylander: At this point, the Ravens defense was one of the best in the NFL, they had 5 future Hall of Famers on defense. Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, Deion Sanders, Terrell Suggs, and Peter Boulware, plus Pro Bowlers Chris McAlister, and Kelly Gregg, along with young playmakers in Adalius Thomas and Gary Baxter. The addition of the all black uniforms pumped up the defense. They couldn’t wait to wear them for the 1st time. Bruce Cunningham (Former PA Announcer): The atmosphere inside M&T Bank Stadium was already one of the best in the NFL especially during the previous 4 years which featured the Super Bowl XXXV team, but the Ravens wanted to make themselves known to the NFL for having a great home field advantage like the Colts did when they were the toast of town in the 50s, 60s, and 70s. This was their way to do it. Narrator: The 1st ever Blackout Game in Ravens History came in Week 9 of the 2004 season. It was a Sunday Night game against the division rival Cleveland Browns. Gerry Sandusky (Ravens Current Play by Play Announcer): The only time I’ve ever seen the stands at M&T Bank Stadium shake was during a Blackout. The 1st time it happened was the Sunday Night game against Cleveland in 2004. Narrator: That was pretty much a boring defensive battle for 3 Quarters, but in the 4th the Ravens took a 20-13 lead. But then the Browns, led by former 49ers QB Jeff Garcia, drove the Browns deep into Baltimore territory. Allan: Whistling (I was so nervous when they got down to the goal line, but then Ed Reed saved us.) “Garcia…….. Ed Reed, Interception! And Ed Reed takes it out of the endzone……….. 106 yards. Holy Cow!” Edgar: Whistling (I was told by a Ravens PSL owner. He had been going to Ravens and Colts games since the 1960s. He said that this was the greatest atmosphere that he had ever seen in Baltimore. I said we got something going) 

Narrator (Where the Streets Have No Name playing): The Blackout was an instant hit. Even if the Ravens record in those games under Brian Billick was only 3-3, it did feature a 48-3 blowout of the Green Bay Packers in Week 15 of 2005. (The largest blowout in Monday Night Football History) Even though they lost to the Patriots in the 2007 Blackout, the Ravens gave the highest scoring team ever at the time all they could handle. The Blackout was put on hold for 2 years thanks to newly hired head coach John Harbaugh not being in love with the combination. Poe: Whistling (Although they still would wear the Black Jersey, but with White Pants. It just didn’t feel the same for the players and fans. We wanted that back but I did enjoy trying a new experiment) Narrator: The mini-Blackout was a success in 2008 and 2009, as the Ravens beat the Washington Redskins, and Chicago Bears in 2 bitter cold games that had playoff aspirations on the line. Luckily in 2010, the Blackout Uniforms returned. And once again they made an impact. The Ravens were facing the defending Super Bowl Champion New Orleans Saints in the 2010 Blackout. With the Ravens leading 27-24 with under 2 minutes left. The mystique of the all Black uniforms returned. “And it’s intercepted by Cory Redding.” Defensive End Cory Reddings interception off of Drew Brees sealed a 30-24 win for the Ravens over the defending champs. The long term implications of this game cost the Saints the NFC South Title. 

The next year, 2011, the Blackout would be taken to new heights. The Ravens were playing the New York Jets on Sunday Night Football in both Rex Ryan and Derrick Mason’s return to Baltimore. The Jets coming in were 2-1 and looking like solid Super Bowl Contenders like they were the past 2 years. 5 touchdowns were scored in the game on defense or special teams. 3 of those were defensive TDs in favor of the Ravens. “Sanchez off play action, HAS THAT ONE INTERCEPTED! Picked off by LarDarius Webb, and they give it right back to the Ravens!” Marylander: When Webb picked off that pass and ran it 75 yards the other way, you could feel the energy throughout the stadium. The ground was shaking! Narrator: The 34-17 win in the 2011 Blackout game in many Ravens fans minds, was the game that made teams be scared of playing them in Baltimore while dealing with their all black uniforms. The arch rival Pittsburgh Steelers felt the same way on Thanksgiving Night 2013. Little did they know that the Blackout also has its share of turkeys. Poe: Whistling (Steelers Head Coach Mike Tomlin stepped in front of Jacoby Jones and prevented a 105 yard kickoff return for a touchdown.) Narrator: At the time it was heinous, but in the long run it didn’t matter. The Ravens still held on to win by a slim 22-20 margin thanks to a stop on a game tying 2 point conversion attempt. Poe: Whistling (I’m glad that we won that game. Tomlin didn’t get to eat any turkey that weekend with his boneheaded move.) Narrator: The next season, the Blackout featured a revenge match between the Ravens and Carolina Panthers. Longtime Panthers WR Steve Smith signed with Baltimore in the offseason thanks to Carolina saying he was washed. In that Week 4 game, Smith had over 100 yards receiving and 2 touchdowns in a blowout win. At the end of the 2018 season, the Ravens record in their All Black Alternate Uniforms was 13-5. Including 10-2 under John Harbaugh. And since Harbs arrived, the Ravens have had the best record in the NFL by a wide margin when wearing their top alternate uniform. 

(For Whom the Bell Tolls playing) In the offseason of 2019, the Ravens would make their annual Blackout game which was already a daunting atmosphere, even tougher. The last part of a 3 part renovation of M&T Bank Stadium was adding LED Lights to the 8 light towers inside the stadium, which allowed the creative tech room to flick the lights on and off any time they wanted. The Ravens would also become the 1st outdoor team in the NFL to have an introduction for night games with the lights in the stadium turned out. Another marketing idea came up in the offseason. Then Ravens Team President Dick Cass, and 1st year GM Eric DeCosta came up with a plan. They saw that during the Blackout games most fans wear some kind of black colored Ravens gear to those games. They thought that with the renovations and LED Lights, every Ravens fan that goes to a Blackout game must wear black Ravens gear. The comparison they had was the Whiteout at Penn State since one of DeCosta’s kids at the time was interested in attending PSU. (which she eventually did) The Ravens inspired by the idea of having their fans show up in one color decided to do a test-run of convincing all their fans to wear black to a game. They wouldn’t be wearing the All Black Uniforms for that game, but they wanted to try it out to see if it worked. This was a huge game. Baltimore was hosting the defending Super Bowl Champion New England Patriots, who were off to an 8-0 start and at the time were on pace to break records for the fewest points, and total yards allowed in a 16 game season. Sandusky: People were nervous during the week leading up, would everyone do it? “YEAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Poe: Whistling (I couldn’t bear to see it, so I told my agent Jordyn to go out there when the Marching Ravens were on the field during pregame to see what it was like. And she said, All Black.) (7 Nation Army playing) Sandusky: “This place is playoff caliber electric tonight. It is rocking here at M&T Bank Stadium.” Greg Davis (Current PA Announcer): I mean with the way we do it, with the 7 Nation Army song playing after big plays, and the chant of O-O-O-O-O-O-O! Crowd: “O-O-O-O-O-O-O!” Davis: In that game, the fans felt the impact was stronger than in years past, and we blew the Patriots right out of the Bank. 

Narrator (Thunderstruck playing): The test-run worked. This made it easier for the fans to repeat the same drill for the real Blackout game that season. The 2019 Blackout game would come in Week 15 on Thursday Night Football against the Jets, that night Lamar Jackson threw 5 TD passes, as the Ravens clinched their 2nd straight AFC North Title. After COVID19 prevented fans from showing up to the 2020 Blackout which the Ravens won against the Dallas Cowboys, the next year, the Ravens front office came up with another clever idea to make the Blackout even cooler. This time, to go along with the LED Lighting system inside M&T Bank Stadium, the Ravens introduced LED Glow Bands, which light up during player introductions, scoring plays, and big moments throughout the game. Those Glow Bands would debut in the 2021 Blackout game against the Browns. Even if the game was an ugly 16-10 Ravens win, the newest addition to the atmosphere was an instant success. Many players and coaches were in awe of the LED Light Shows both before the game and during key moments of the contest. Marylander: A game like this elevates the way our guys play especially if the stakes are high. “LET’S DO THIS THING! THIS IS OUR HOUSE!” (I had to pull a Ray Lewis clip) Cunningham: There are plenty of times over the years where the crowd has really taken over at a key time especially whenever the Ravens are on defense in a big spot at the end of the game. “BALTIMORE! …… IT’S 3RD DOWN!” Crowd: “OOOOOOOOOOOOO! YEAAAAAAAAAH!” Davis: Out of all the games I call for the Ravens and Navy Football, this is probably the loudest one that I get to call every year. “Jackson’s pass complete to Mark Andrews in the Endzone! TOUCHDOOOOWN! RAVENS!”

Narrator (Enter Sandman playing): Blackout Week is always a big deal around the city. Everywhere you go in Baltimore during that weekend, you can expect to see many people wearing black colored Ravens gear. It is not only a unity between the players and fans, it’s the identity of what it’s like being a Ravens fan. Marylander: Every year we are doubted by the media, and we use it as motivation. And wearing black for games like this tells them that we are the bad guys to all their darlings. And we like it that way. Even if the refs are always against us. Fans: “boom, boom. (CENSORED!) boom, boom. (CENSORED!) boom, boom. (CENSORED!) boom, boom. (CENSORED!)” Marylander: I feel like it still bonds our fanbase, it makes us come together to help our team win. That’s why I love the Blackout, because it’s not only a great home field advantage, it shows you what being a Ravens fan is all about. Crowd: R-A-V-E-N-S RAVENS!

Episode 5: vs Bengals (Alexa, play Take Back the Night by Justin Timberlake)

Narrator: Oh Sunday Night. Poe: Whistling (The Greatest Experience in the NFL) Marylander: OOOOOH! SUNDAY NIGHT! Edgar/Allan: Whistling (And here we go) Narrator: It’s that time of the year. It only happens once a season, but it’s finally here. BLACKOUT WEEK! (This may be earlier than expected this year, but it’s still a fun time to be a Ravens fan) This year’s edition comes at a perfect time. After a 2-2 start in which most of their fans’ minds should be 4-0, the Boys in Purple are looking to make a statement once and for all. Here’s the backstory: Against the Dolphins and Bills they had 17+ point leads and lost each time. Both in controversial fashion. Most of the heat on these losses were directed completely towards Boy Wonder Johnny Harbaugh. Although in his defense, the 4th Down calls in those games were the correct decisions, it’s just too bad their execution was poor. It hasn’t stopped all of those spoiled fans and perfectionists from throwing him under the bus. Like he said after the loss to Miami, Harbaugh pointed out that the way we respond to this is how we’ll be defined. He certainly is right on point. With his mindset, that shouldn’t be a problem. 

However just like after they got blown out by Houston in 2012, the defense started a locker room wide mutiny. Marcus Peters, like Terrell Suggs before him, was upset about some of Harbs decisions. In his case, they should have allowed Buffalo to score to give them enough time to counter. Instead the defense was confused on whether to let them score or not. That allowed the Bills to kick the game winning field goal. For the 1st time all season, the criticism shined down on the Roman Empire. Due to banged up playmakers, an exposed O-Line, and playing against the #1 defense in the NFL just happened to be too much to overcome. Luckily for the Ravens the O-Line should improve as long as Ronnie Stanley returns soon. (Considering that he would have had to face Von Miller in this game just like he faced Maxx Crosby last year, it was wise to sit him) However that doesn’t stop the fact that both Carmelo Anthony and Kevin Durant called him on Social Media out for that 4th and Goal play call. To be fair, Trestman, Moringweig, Cameron, and Cavanaugh would have gone for that too and done worse. Following his 1st down game of the 2022 season, Planet LJ has decided to remain calm after the late game offensive meltdown. He has pointed out that we need to have better execution in the 2nd Half. However, much of it was due to the offense being forced into 3rd and Long situations due to penalties. Speaking of REFBALL, it played a major role in not only getting the Bills back in the game, it basically allowed them to get into field goal range and end the game. Committing more penalties in this game than in the 1st 3 combined has ticked off Johnny. He said that those played a huge role as to how Buffalo got back in the game, we need to clean those up in a hurry. Considering that the NFL probably had money on the Bills winning, and that their next opponent is the pretty boy of the AFC, I’m guessing that they’ll have to be prepared for nonsense like this.

After last week’s meltdown the Fire Harbaugh campaign in some ways has begun but don’t tell that to the diehards like me who know this organization better than anyone. This nonsense makes those fans forget that this was exactly the same thing that happened to Brian Billick when he lost the locker room after Ray Lewis and Ed Reed suffered season ending injuries in 2005 during a 2-8 start. Billick, despite this nonsense, got another year out of all this and went 13-3 the very next year. (BUT… he was let go after a contract year in 2007 where he flopped) With Boy Wonder I could see the same right here. With the schedule being pretty favorable from Week 6 or 7 on, his opinions are expected to change. (Just don’t do anything stupid and you’ll be fine) Poe: Whistling (I don’t want change, consistency is a key to success) Narrator: Poe, I’m with you. Patience is the name of the game. Poe: Whistling: (It sure is) Narrator: Hey Poe, you want to play some Pictionary? Poe: Whistling (Oh yeah, I got a special one for you) Narrator: Alright, this time you’ve got 1 minute alright. Poe: Whistling (Just what I need) Ready? GO! Poe: Whistling (Lets see, a large box) Narrator: I see a huge square. Poe: Whistling (Let’s put a person in the box. We’ll have him behind bars) Narrator: Oh I think I know what it is? Poe: Whistling (Hold on I’m not done. Let’s draw a few people over here) Narrator: So far so good. Wow, the timer hasn’t gone off and you’re already finished. Poe: Whistling (I like to draw with speed and accuracy) Narrator: So it appears that Poe drew a picture of himself plus Edgar and Allan locking the Bengals Mascot Who Dey in a cage. Edgar: Whistling (That’s more like it) Allan: Whistling (When can we play?) Narrator: Boys, you can play next week which means we’ll have a Pictionary Competition. All 3: Whistling (Thanks buddy) Narrator: You’re welcome.

This game to the Ravens means so much to them in the grand scheme of things. Not only are they out for blood after the Buffalo game last week, they now get to face the team that everyone in Baltimore loves to hate. Cincinnati. The team that gave the Boys in Purple two of the worst beatings in franchise history a year ago. Joe Burrow last year passed for almost 1000 yards in those games as the Bengals won easily. (That and there was the scene where 2 Bengals fans climbed into the Ravens Broadcast Booth) There was a catch. In neither of those games were the Ravens anywhere near full strength. (18 players on IR/COVID List in Week 7, 35 players on IR/COVID List in Week 16) That didn’t stop Bengals players, coaches, fans, heck even the local news sources from gloating about how they and Cleveland would trounce Baltimore and Pittsburgh for years to come. Eli Apple and Jermaine Pratt calling Planet LJ a Return Man and the Worst MVP ever during the offseason were appetizers for what was to come in terms of the roasting department. The worst according to the talking heads in the Baltimore Media, would arguably come from Lou Anarumu who by the way was the Ravens Secondary Coach during Lamar’s MVP year in 2019. He said that Lamar could win 12 MVPs and 5 Super Bowls, and he wouldn’t be an elite QB. Oh by the way Joe Burrow and Joe Mixon both smack talked the Ravens defense, and said they would torch them for years to come and wreck the league. (That and their fans calling John Harbaugh a hypocrite) However this week the Ravens got even more bulletin board material. Stephen A Smith called not only their defense trash, but playmakers around Lamar Jackson. (Can he stop criticizing my two favorite teams?) Marlon Humphrey made it clear during a press conference that all they see on the TVs inside the Under Armour Performance Center is takes from First Take, Undisputed, Good Morning Football about the secondary being garbage. It wasn’t local poster board material either. Not only did a Cincinnati News anchor call Lamar Jackson overrated while doing a game preview, a rap artist named Kid Cudi released a song called Burrow just 5 days before the game. Twisting the knife, one of his lyrics in the song was “Slicing up that Raven D.” (This song was played on NBC prior to kickoff as well. The NFL wants us to lose don’t they) Poe: Whistling (SHOTS FIRED!) Allan: Whistling (You had one year and suddenly you think you’re the pretty boys of the league) Edgar: Whistling (If the Bengals can talk that much crap, they better prove it on the field.) Narrator: Boys, you’re right. And with several Raven Legends, plus a few celebrities in the house, it will be the toughest environment that Cincy has faced since the AFC Title Game at Arrowhead last year. 

(RavensNation by FreeState Workshop playing) Just like we have done for nearly every important Ravens home game since this series began, we sent the always fired up Salty Marylander to the confines of M&T Bank Stadium to witness the action. Let’s hear what he has to say? Marylander (Live): YOU ARE LOOKING LIVE AT BLACKOUT NIGHT IN CHARM CITY! WHERE THE BENGALS AND RAVENS BEGIN THEIR AFC NORTH QUEST ON SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL! Folks, this is what everyone in this city wanted. The chance to embarrass Joe Burrow and the Bengals once and for all. Will the Ravens get a year’s worth of revenge, or will it be identical to what we saw a year! Narrator: I like the impersonation of Brent Musburger right there. Edgar, Allan, you boys ready for your first all stadium Blackout since coming out of retirement? Edgar: Whistling (Oh yeah, I can’t wait to see us beat up Joe Burrow) Allan: Whistling (I can’t wait to run out onto the field with the lights turned out) Narrator: Sounds like you two have come ready to play. Hey Poe, are you excited? Poe: Whistling (Absolutely, I wish I was going to be on the field with my bros, but I’m fine sitting in a skybox while trying to rest my knee) Narrator: Hang in there Poe. If we want to be able to bring you back this season we need to win this game. This is where it starts. How’s the Salty Marylander doing? Marylander: M&T BANK STADIUM! WELCOME TO THE BLACKOUT! ARE! YOU! READY! FOR! RAVENS! FOOTBALL!

Narrator: Well it looks like he’s fired up. Even better news thanks to having a job acquaintance with Mike Man’s wife, the Salty Marylander got an inside scoop of the Bengals offense. With Macdonald’s knowledge of an offense that is ever so similar to the one at THE Ohio State University, Joe Burrow would be knocked around early. (“But Burrow is used to playing in this kind atmosphere” -Bengals/2019 LSU Bandwagons) Turns out that Marcus Peters was ticked off at some of the comments JaMarr Chase threw at him during the week. Poe: Whistling (You can’t talk smack at someone when you’ve never faced them 1-on-1.) Narrator: True that. As for the other side, it would become a chess match between the Roman Empire and another former Harbs assistant. On their opening drive, the Men in Black used bizarre trick plays thanks to the speed of Devin Duvernay which got them into scoring range. But Anarumu’s defense wasn’t going to make it easy. As a result, JT makes a 37 yarder for the first points of the game. Even if they didn’t get 6 the Ravens were in good hands. The defense made sure of it. The woes that consumed the Bungles whole on the O-Line returned. Jason Pierre-Paul and Calais Campbell had free paths to Burrow. Each of them had a sack which led to a 3 and out. Edgar: Whistling (Cincy spent the most money on lineman this offseason, and still has terrible O-Line development that goes back to the 90s) Narrator: I like the history point. With a short field thanks to a shanked punt by Kevin Huber, Planet LJ was spreading things out. Duvernay, DeMarcus Robinson, and Mark Andrews all had catches on that possession. The one by GoldMine went for a touchdown. 10-0 B-More. Marylander (Live): “YEAAAAAAAAAAAH!” (That Blackout crowd is deafening) Narrator: The Ravens were clearly in control of the game. They held Cincy to another 3 and out thanks to a sack from the steady veteran Josh Bynes. Allan: Whistling (He was shot out of a cannon on that one) Narrator: Indeed. 

Look at this, the Ravens are marching the Bengals right out the door! (YoYo Sound) And then G-Ro got too cute with the play calling as Jackson was picked off by Vonn Bell. (“Don’t you dare stomp on Mo!” -105.7 the Fan) It’s at this moment where Cincinnati finally woke up on offense. With their big play specialty taken away from them, Burrow used short passes to Joe Mixon and Hayden Hurst to get down the field. Hurst capped off the drive with a touchdown to make this a close game again. By halftime the Bengals had fought back to tie the game at 10 a piece. To anyone watching this game, there was no surprise that after 30 minutes the 2 teams would be locked in a battle for survival. (Hot in Herre playing) Even Nelly was on hand to witness the events, (As was Josh Charles, Kodak Black, etc.) his performance at halftime was something to behold. And guess who they brought out. “RAY LEWIS!” “OH! ………. WANT A LITTLE BIT A HOT HOT! AND A LITTLE BIT A!” The Squirrel Dance was out in full effect. The energy would certainly be high for the 2nd Half. Especially on defense. The Ravens had a chance to regain the lead yet were burned by Planet LJ putting just a bit too much juice on 2 passes that could have been for touchdowns. The 2nd missed pass was on 4th and 2. Oh god we’re in trouble again. (DRAMATIC MUSIC!) This is what a great reality series does, just when you think you know what happens, you don’t! On the very next play Burrow was picked clean by his old LSU teammate and fellow National Championship MVP Patrick Queen. (PQ always plays well in a Blackout. But we need consistency in the rest of the games) Baltimore didn’t need to do much afterwards since Justin Tucker made a 58 yard field goal to go up 13-10. (Thank god there wasn’t any wind on this night or that would have been short) Next came an element that Ravens fans have seen for years especially against players who the media loves. REFBALL. Joe Burrow had yet to take his chances down the field. Well he did, and got away with PI call on Marcus Peters which would have led to 4th Down had that never happened. Due to three separate PI calls and taking advantage of Marcus Williams suffering a broken wrist, the Bengals marched to the B-More 2 yard line. (OH CRUD! Stop with all the injuries)

Instead of pounding the ball in with Mixon, Zac Taylor knew that the Ravens run defense especially near the goal line would be hard to score on. 1st Down play, incomplete intended for Hurst. On 2nd Down, they wanted to run a Philly Special since it worked for them 2 weeks ago against the Jets. This time, Juiceman knew what was coming. He decked Tyler Boyd back at the 15 yard line for a loss of 13. Even if they got those yards back on a completion to Chase. Diet Pokemon had a decision to make on 4th Down. Send out Evan McPherson to tie the game up, or roll the dice against Mike Man’s defense. Well Taylor must have seen what Boy Wonder did last week against the Bills, and he decided to get cute. “They empty it out 4th and Goal, Burrow rolls, looks to throw inside, incomplete!” Well Bungles, now you know how we felt. Marylander (Live): “YESSSSSSS! TAKE THAT ZAC TAYLOR!” Narrator: That was a kick in the teeth for Cincinnati. Why? Because Roman played keepaway. With timely passes, and Planet LJ using his dual threat abilities the Ravens were marching towards a potential put away touchdown. But on a 3rd Down, Isaiah Likely was stopped short of a 1st Down at the 3 yard line. Harbaugh was right back in the situation he was in against Buffalo the week before. This time however he learned from the past. Considering that many coaches throughout the NFL this weekend had made bad decisions on 4th Down, Johnny wasn’t going to fall into those traps. They settled for a field goal and 16-10 lead. (They lined up to go for it, but only did so to try and draw Cincy offsides) The Bengals had a daunting task ahead of them. Trying to take their 1st lead of the night, against a Blackout atmosphere, with Enter Sandman having just played minutes earlier. Just as they did on their 1st TD drive, Burrow and company played the patient game despite it not being their playstyle. Mixon and fellow RB Samaje Perine were the catalysts. With key 3rd Down conversions, Cincinnati took off 7 minutes of clock and scored with 1:58 left to tie the game pending the extra point. How will this get crazier? “Snap is high, and this one is good.” That was too close to call. I’m not gonna argue the kick going over the upright because we had this same thing happen in our favor against New England 10 years ago on a night like this. For the 1st time all night the Bengals were in the lead, every Raven fan thought this can’t be happening again. But then 3 words changed the emotions of every fan in attendance. HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! (It’s funny how the guy who plays Mighty Mouse sounds exactly like M&T PA Announcer Greg Davis) High! End! Talent! Lamar, using both his arm and legs, single handedly got the Ravens into field goal range in no time. With 3 seconds left it comes down to one kick. A 43 yarder from the middle of the field, here comes JT right here right now. We need a live reaction from the Salty Marylander. Marylander: “Come on JT! Please! ……… (FULL MARYLANDER ACTIVATED) YES! YESSSSSSS! (Camden Yards Siren) THE RAVENS HAVE WON IT! OH MY GOD THIS IS HEAVEN! YESSSSSSS!” PAUSE.

(Take Back the Night playing) Narrator: JT! This man is clearly a living legend! How many kickers in NFL History have this kind of ice in their veins? No one besides Vinatieri, Morten Andersen, and Matt Stover. The ending proved one thing. Bengals fans’ take of Evan McPherson being the best kicker in the NFL are vanquished for now. Tucker just took him to school with those clutch kicks. Poe: Whistling (Didn’t the Salty Marylander play Justin Timberlake on his earbuds during warmups) Narrator: Yes he did my man. And it was fitting. Edgar: Whistling (JT, with JT playing in the background, nothing like it.) Narrator: Clever phrase Edgar. I wonder how Allan is doing? “Allan: Whistling (Hi guys) Kathryn Tappen: Hey, what’s happening? Allan: Whistling (Loving life) Rodney Harrison: Can’t be walking behind a brother like that. Allan: Whistling (My man) Tappen: What’s up Allan. First home win of the season buddy, high 5. (Also the 1st home win for Edgar and Allan since Week 7 of 2007 against the then St Louis Rams) Allan: Whistling (Boom!) Harrison: You got anything to say? Allan: Whistling (BIG TRUZZ!)” Narrator: Wow looks like Allan was having fun with the NBC crew after the game. Poe: Whistling (I wanted to come down, but I had to talk with Edgar in the box since I’m still having trouble walking) That’s cool Poe. Where’s the Salty Marylander? Marylander: Sir, I’m here for duty sir! Narrator: Can you give us a roasting of the Jungle? Marylander: Sure.

I can safely say that the Bengals Media Network and bandwagon fan base deserve every single negative comment that comes their way. THIS! IS! KARMA! You treated us like this last year, now it’s our turn to return the favor just like in 2019 and 20. I don’t want to hear about Tee Higgins being banged up. Marcus Williams broke his wrist, Rashod Bateman was inactive, Ronnie Stanley was on a snap count, half of the Ravens offense, and pass rush wasn’t on the field in this game, and you still couldn’t beat us. YOU ARE PATHETIC! Remember when your Twitter account said that the florist stores would be out of business thanks to claiming that this would be a funeral for the Ravens hopes? WELL GUESS WHAT! ALL THE FLOWERS YOU GOT WERE FOR NOTHING! (They learned nothing from the Steelers in Week 1, and got roasted by the Steelers Media Crew) BECAUSE WE’RE STILL ALIVE AND KICKING YOUR ASS AGAIN! THE NEW FRONTIER WAS NEVER HAPPENING! TAKE THAT STEPHEN A SMITH AND SKIP BAYLESS FOR CALLING OUR DEFENSE TRASH! OH MAN NOTHING IS BETTER THAN THIS! WHO DEY! WHO DEY! WHO DEY THINK GONNA BEAT DEM RAVENS! WHO DEY! WHO DEY! WHO DEY THINK GONNA BEAT DEM RAVENS! NOOOOOOOOBODY!

Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (TAKE BACK THE NIGHT!) Marylander: Come on, use me up until there’s nothing left! Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (TAKE BACK THE NIGHT!) Marylanders: Ravens Nation is indeed back up again! Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (TAKE BACK THE NIGHT!) Marylander: OOOH! Don’t know when the Bank is gonna rest! Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (TAKE BACK THE NIGHT!) Marylander: Planet LJ and the D just passed the test! Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (TAKE BACK THE NIGHT!) Marylander: Take Back the Night Ooooh! They gonna try to shut us down, but we won’t stop until we win. Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (TAKE BACK THE NIGHT!) Marylander: Take Back the Night Ooooh! Harbs is a fighter that’ll finish, plus we’re not gonna give an inch! All: TAKE BACK THE NIGHT! R-A-V-E-N-S RAVENS!!! (The Insufferable Ravens fans are out of their cages again)

Episode 6: at Giants (I thought we were done with this)

Narrator: The Ravens following their Blackout win over the Bungles have a chance to extend the lead in the AFC North against a now white hot team in the Giants. Early on Baltimore was victimized by 2 missed field goals from Justin Tucker on their opening possessions. (OH GOD!) But the defense still held Saquan Barkley and the Giants in check. All the Ravens need right now is to put up a solid 2nd Half. For the moment yes, they have a 10 point lead in the 4th Quarter, but there is still 10 minutes on the clock. Thank god the Giants can’t do anything as… “Personal Foul, Late Hit, Defense #99” Marylander: AAAAAAAAAAAAA! ODAFE OWEH! YOU CANNOT TAKE OFF AN O-LINEMAN’S HELMET! Now they’re back in the game! Narrator: As Daniel Jones and the Giant offense cut the lead to 3. All Planet LJ and the offense need to do is control that clock. And it looks like they’ve got the game won. BEEP! “Illegal Formation, Offense #79.” Oh no. This can’t be good. Now they have to try and throw the ball as… Marylander: COME ON LINDERBAUM YOU CAN’T MAKE THAT SNAP AT THE END OF THE GAME! At least we can make something out of nothing… (DRAMATIC MUSIC!) WHAT THE (Censored) IS (Censored) HAPPENING! THIS IS SUCH (Censored) THE NFL WANTS US TO FALL TO THE NEW FRONTIER! ROMAN YOU IGNORANT HACK! GODDDDDDDDDDD! PAUSE.

Episode 7: vs Browns (Super Bowl Reunion, Party Like Its 2012 BABY!)

Narrator: Alright, alright. Thank god the bleeding has stopped. The Boys in Purple have been in a perilous situation the past few weeks. With their 3rd 10 point lead blown in 5 weeks. The entirety of the national media has called out Boy Wonder Johnny Harbaugh, Planet LJ, Juiceman, and Harbs entire staff. Former Raven Marcus Spears called out Lamar by saying that he is costing them games when in reality the defense has been an emotional roller coaster, and they’ve committed the most penalties in the NFL over the past 3 games. Even if Jackson is getting most of the blame, some of it should fall on the shoulders of Justin Tucker. JT astoundingly missed 2 field goals including a 39 yarder on the opening drive. Most Raven fans pointed out this week that once the 2nd miss happened, they would somehow lose the game. But to be fair, JT got karma thrown in his face after how high he was after the game against Cincinnati. Another major media question this week was why did the Ravens fire Wink Martindale. And to answer that question, he didn’t get fired, his contract was up and he wanted a change of scenery. Thus the heat has fallen once again on Mike Man. Macdonald, despite the late game meltdowns, has gotten the defense in the right direction. The Pass Rush and Turnover departments have gotten significantly better. Even if Marcus Williams is out for a while they should be in good shape. However there is controversy. The costly ripping of the helmet by Odafe Oweh is what started the Giants rally. Oweh admitted that he should have never done this. Although there is time to change the narrative. Anyways Poe what’s going on with you?

Poe: Whistling (It’s been great, I don’t have to be in a wheelchair anymore) Narrator: Oh nice! Are you still planning on coming back this year? Poe: Whistling (I’ll try to come back to roaming the sidelines come playoff time. We just need to win the North) Narrator: Just what I want to hear. How bout you Edgar and Allan? Edgar: Whistling (We need a bounceback this week) Allan: Whistling (I agree, although it’s nice to have little bro walking again) Narrator: I love it too boys. Pictionary anyone? All 3: Whistling (LETS GO!) Alright, we all have 30 seconds to guess what they are drawing. Whoever has the best picture gets a free Ravens Flavored Snow Cone. Are you ready? All 3: Whistling (YES!) BEEP! Narrator: Lets see here, it looks like they are being very detailed right here. They must be drawing a person, I wonder who it is. Oh he must have a mustache, and he looks imposing. I wonder who it is? BUZZER! Times up. Looks like All 3 of them drew a picture of 2011 Joe Flacco with the fu manchu. Lets see who had the best drawing. And the winner is… Edgar! Edgar: Whistling (SWEET!) Narrator: Here’s your Snow Cone by the way. Edgar: Whistling (That looks delicious!) Allan, Poe, don’t worry. At least you guys had excellent drawings of your own. Allan/Poe: Whistling (Thanks buddy)

Narrator: With the excitement of the Pictionary Contest out of the way, we can now get to what’s really important. A Week 7 divisional showdown. This time the Ravens come home to take on the team that they have tormented for years. Cleveland. Luckily for the Boys in Purple the Browns have been a mess as expected. A blockbuster trade for Deshaun Watson has so far blown up in their faces. The QB is suspended for 5 more games, and they carry a 2-4 record after 3 straight losses. Although they still have some talent, we have to take that into account. However, just like their inner state rivals in the Bungles, Cleveland’s media team like Cincinnati’s poked the bear of John Harbaugh while he was sleeping. Instead of gathering flowers for what they viewed as a Raven funeral, the Browns Twitter account called Old Bay and McCormick Spices overrated. Marylander: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! ENOUGH OF THIS OHIO! (And Penn State still has to play the Buckeyes. I want the trifecta) Narrator: The Salty Marylander like his father who used to work for McCormick Spices and many Ravens fans were ticked off by Cleveland’s actions. It’s ok, Old Bay responded by telling them that our Super Bowl wins were not overrated. Speaking of which, the Ravens are honoring the 10th Anniversary of their Super Bowl XLVII team. 50+ players and coaches were on hand to witness the event. Even Ray Rice was there and he was quickly forgiven for his actions in Atlantic City 8 years ago that shall not be mentioned. (As long as you win a championship, and are 2nd on the Ravens All Time Rushing List, you get a pass) The only downside was that Joe Flacco couldn’t come because he is now a backup for a streaking Jets team.

With high emotions around M&T Bank Stadium, the Boys in Purple would need time for them to own the moment. Cleveland marched down the field on their opening drive and scored a touchdown. You can thank the will power of Nick Chubb trying to overcome a rough 2021 slate against Baltimore. Luckily the Ravens were able to counter the opening score, with a few key plays of their own. Also what a relief it is to have both Gus Edwards and Rashod Bateman back in the mix. (Too bad JK Dobbins is out for a few weeks again) Even if Planet LJ got a few of his weapons back, they only could get a field goal, as the lead was cut to 7-3. The Browns on their next drive would take advantage of Geno Stone playing in a Cover 3 zone, as Amari Cooper hauled in a 50 yard bomb. But luckily, the Browns could only get 3. Even if they could have extended their lead, Cleveland for the moment was in good hands. Their devastating pass rush was starting to consume the Ravens Offensive Line. Just like the game against the Bills, Morgan Moses, and Patrick Mekari were getting eaten alive. This time by Myles Garrett. No wonder why the Roman Empire is trying not to call passing plays. (The fans may not like it, but it’s a smart move) Luckily for Harbaugh the phase of the game that he perfected for 9 years in Philadelphia would decide the game. Special Teams. After forcing a 3 and out thanks to Patrick Queen blowing up the Browns rushing attack, Devin Duvernay returned a punt 46 yards to the Cleveland 21. All it got them was a field goal, but the momentum had now clearly shifted. The Ravens defense was suffocating Jacoby Brissett, AGAIN! Just like during his time in Indy and Miami, he had no answers for the B-More Pass Rush. Another 3 and out. This time Lamar and the offense would make them pay. With timely passing, and a ball controlled, the Ravens responded by taking their first lead of the game as Gus the Bus scored his first TD since Week 14 of 2020. (Which was also against the Browns) Leading 13-10 at halftime, there was hope for the Boys in Purple.

At halftime, they honored the Super Bowl Team like they had all weekend. And Ravens Radio Announcer Gerry Sandusky at the end of the ceremony said we have one job. That’s finish off the win. The request would be daunting. Especially since Cleveland’s Pass Rush would be crashing from all angles. Not even Ronnie Stanley, or Tyler Linderbaum could stop the wave of the Dawg Pound coming to destroy the base. 3 and out with a net total of -19 yards. It’s ok, Mike Man and his relentless D can return the favor. (What was their greatest weakness under Martindale has now become their strength) Strip sack recovered by Odafe Oweh thanks to Calais Campbell and Justin Houston coming off the right edge. (All Penn State all the time especially when it’s Whiteout Week) The offense would take advantage of this opportunity by capitalizing on Joe Wood’s defense being trolled by those zebras. Even if it took them until 4th and Goal to punch it in, the Ravens and Gus Edwards did just that. 20-10. However this game wouldn’t be over just yet. Not with the Browns trying to get out of their offensive slump. Nick Chubb, who had been shut down ever since the opening drive, was starting to eat up yards, and the clock. The only problem that Cleveland now faces is that David Njoku their #1 TE, is out for the rest of the game due to injury. With their passing game being limited, the best they could do was get a field goal. Once again the Ravens were in a tough situation. Considering that they had lost 3 games where they blew 10+ point leads, something had to give. This was where the offense needed to step up. And they did. Their ball control attack largely due to their top receiving weapons not being 100% was starting to take over the game. Even if they only went 38 yards, Baltimore chewed up 6 minutes, and got creative on a 4th and 1. (Greg Roman and trick plays, underrated) However they couldn’t push the lead to 2 touchdowns. Instead they were able to make this a 10 point lead with another JT field goal. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) Oh dear. Another 10 point 4th Quarter lead. Hopefully this time no shenanigans happen. I take that back, Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt ran roughshod on the Browns next possession, and all of a sudden it’s a 3 point game again. Don’t worry Ravens fans, as long as the offense doesn’t cough it up, we’re good. See nothing serious. Now they are two 1st Downs away from ending the game. Justice Hill made a nice cutback move to get free as (WEEE!) Marylander: OH MY GOD THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING AGAIN! JUSTICE HILL YOU SHOULD HAVE HELD ONTO THE DAMN BALL! (To be fair that was Myles Garrett and JOK who knocked it free) SEND THIS MAN INTO HARBS DOGHOUSE IF WE END UP LOSING! SOMEONE STOP THIS! PAUSE.

Narrator: Oh great. The Browns are driving again, Marcus Peters is being too aggressive. Please for the love of god, we can’t have this happen again! “Brissett, going deep, and for Cooper, GOT HIM!” (Sidevoice: Hold it!) “Pass interference, Offense #2.” Oh boy, just when Cleveland thinks they have a go ahead TD, it gets called back thanks to Offensive PI. The outsider in me believes that the Browns did not get screwed. There was clearly a push off, Amari Cooper admitted it during the postgame presser. That basically pushed the Browns out of field goal range. But they were at least able to get back into it thanks to a nice scramble from Brissett. Now they must trot out rookie Cade York to attempt a game tying field goal. A 56 yarder at M&T Bank Stadium against the wind is literally a death sentence, but he did make a 58 yard game winner against Carolina in Week 1. BEEP! “False Start, Offense.” What the hell? Normally when Sean Smith is the head official it’s the Ravens that are the ones that get the late game penalties to potentially lose the game. Well today, Cleveland took that thinking to a higher level. To be fair that should have been offside, but that’s the makeup call for the illegal formation penalty that was called on Ronnie Stanley last week. All 3: Whistling (I love the flashbacks to the Bear Necessities from last year) Narrator: Same boys. Now York has to try a 61 yarder against the wind towards the West Endzone. “For the tie! (HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!) NO!” Oh yes the High End Talent that has been expected of this team for many years came out at the right time! (Ray Lewis and Ed Reed couldn’t have it any better) Malik Harrison, who had thrilled Ohio State fans for 3 seasons, not only blocked the kick with his helmet, he basically delivered the knockout punch. Even as they weren’t able to run out the clock, Baltimore pinned the Browns deep in their own end, and needed one more stop to finish it off. “It’s Brissett, and he goes down the middle, (HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!) and it’s caught by Peoples-Jones, and knocked away on the play, a fumble, and Geno Stone will close the door, and Baltimore has survived!” Wew! That was too close for comfort, the Ravens heartaches for this week are a thing of the past, they still control 1st place in the AFC North with another gutty win. Marylander: YOU HEAR THAT CLEVELAND! THAT’S WHAT WE CALL NEVER ENDING CHAOS! PAUSE.

Narrator: It’s literally Groundhog Day in Cleveland YET AGAIN! Just like almost every time over the past few seasons, the Browns, arguably the more talented team on paper, get beat up against Big Brother in M&T Bank Stadium. This rivalry is still in meme territory for the Dawg Pound. No matter what they do to improve the team, Baltimore must reign over their old residence. This is a year where many narratives in the NFL have died, but this one must continue. You know how upsetting this is for Cleveland. Look at their locker room after the game. There was shouting and punches being thrown by players and coaches. I feel like this loss they are not recovering from. This was their chance to keep up with the Jones’ of their division while Watson was out. And once he comes back it’ll be too late. Look at their upcoming schedule. Cincinnati, Buffalo, Miami, and Tampa Bay. They could be staring at 3-8 or 2-9 when that Texans game rolls around in Week 13. Kids, this is why you never can trust Jimmy Haslam and that organization. No matter what they do they will find incredible ways to ruin everything. You guys have ruined Kevin Stefanski, and Andrew Berry. The 2 men who showed flashes thanks to a cakewalk schedule and COVID year in 2020 are getting exposed like every other coach and GM since 1999. And you know what’s worse. Their old GM in Sashi Brown is laughing in their face. The man that basically built this Browns roster from scratch got his long awaited revenge on Haslam! 

As for the Ravens, this was the win they needed to potentially turn their season around. The offense wasn’t great, but they did what they needed to do to win. Even if Lamar only threw 16 passes due to a wrecked O-Line, it still was enough to pull it off. You can thank the defense, and special teams for turning the clock back. Trust me there was no way that Baltimore was losing especially with the Super Bowl XLVII team being on hand. The players and coaches wouldn’t have gotten out of that stadium alive had they lost. But thank goodness they got the W. I wonder what our upcoming schedule looks like? BOOM! OH BOY! Almost every team left on their schedule is basically in Tank Bowl Territory. And they get to play a pathetic NFC South starting with the Buccaneers on Thursday Night. If the Ravens can’t win the AFC North with this schedule, the Salty Marylander and many others will never let them hear the end of it. Marylander: That’s right! HEY LOOK EVERYONE THE BUCS LOST TO THE PANTHERS! WE’RE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL IF WE HAVE TO DIE TRYING! YEAAAAAAAAH! Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (We got 2 tickets to paradise! Pack your bags we can leave tonight! Woah woah woah woah! BALTIMORE!)

Episode 8: at Buccaneers (Pirate and Bear Hunting)

(Horror Music playing) Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (Ooooooooooooooo) Narrator: What’s that sound? Is there a ghost in here? Marylander: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh god what could it be? (Light Switch) Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (Trick or Treat!) Narrator: Oh what’s up guys. I see you guys are dressed up for Halloween. Poe: Whistling (We decided to dress up as ghosts this year) Cool. I see that the Salty Marylander went with Frankenstein. Marylander: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Narrator: Anyways, after maintaining their precious narratives over Cleveland in Week 7, the Boys in Purple know that the division is theirs for the taking. 9 of their final 10 games would be against teams with losing records. This is an excellent opportunity to blow away the rest of the AFC North. And John Harbaugh knows it. After the win over the Browns he explained why they only threw the ball 16 times. It was due to injuries at WR, the Browns furious pass rush, and playing on a short week. A logical response by any means. As for the offense, their 2nd Half performances over the past few games have certainly improved. Even if Justice Hill fumbled late in the Browns game, Planet LJ was pleased with their recent improvements. But he did state out one thing. Their inability to finish drives in the red zone. Through the 1st 4 weeks, Baltimore had the #1 offense inside the 20 yard line. Over the next 3 games they were middle of the pack. Most of it had to do with the Roman Empire trying to prove that the Ravens weren’t a 1 dimensional offense. Roman himself admitted that he made mistakes by not calling run plays inside the 20 yard line. Hopefully for their next game that all changes thanks to better execution.

On defense, slowly but surely the entire unit was getting stronger. Thanks to a revamped pass rush, and timely playmaking, Mike Man had assembled his unit from being trash (thanks Stephen A) to one of the most underrated units in the game. Yes they played Jacoby Brissett last week, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t a scrub. The return of Justin Houston played a huge role in the win over the Browns, but there was a bump. Calais Campbell following the game got sick. Luckily it was a non-COVID illness but he wouldn’t be well enough to make the trip. (He probably had allergies or something close to it) Even if Campbell would be inactive, the rise of Justin Madubuike and Travis Jones as run stuffers was only beginning. These 2 mid round picks along with Broderick Washington were making positive strides. They were unknown at the beginning of the season, and now they’ve made their presence felt. So has Geno Stone. In place of Marcus Williams, he has played that role quite nicely. Kinda similar to when DeShon Elliott took over for Earl Thomas in 2020. Regardless of what spot it was on defense, the youngsters on this unit were coming on strong.

However they weren’t the major topic of discussion. You know who it was? Planet LJ. AGAIN! Following the game against Cleveland, he decided to hang out at Horseshoe Casino. In fact he was a surprise guest at a wedding reception inside the Casino Ballroom. For a minute, Jackson was unidentified but as soon as he took off his shades everyone inside that ballroom was in awe. Allan: Whistling (He certainly likes to have fun doesn’t he) Narrator: Allan you better believe it. Next he invited Bleacher Reports Taylor Rooks to the Under Armour Performance Center so that they could do a 1-on-1. (Is it me or does that relationship remind me of Giannis’ relationship with Malika Andrews) Lamar as expected was relaxed and told her that he thrives in all the criticism that comes his way on Social Media. Edgar: Whistling (I’m jealous) Narrator: Yes, Edgar I get it you want a secret crush just like Allan and Poe have. Although Rooks is a good option. Edgar: Whistling (Awesome!) The biggest headline of the week involving Planet LJ came from a man who Raven fans love to hate. Skip Bayless. He was told by a source that Lamar wasn’t pleased with what was going on with his contract and his future being uncertain. In reality he probably was speculating it so that he could sweet talk Jackson into coming to Dallas. (When the Cowboys already have a massive contract with Dak Prescott) Marylander: That man is J-E-ALOUS! Narrator: You’re right. Skip’s take fired up Boy Wonder Johnny Harbaugh! Harbs and his staff had the look in their eyes that said, “we’re gonna make you regret what you said.”

The Ravens would get that chance to do that on a Thursday Night game against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Unlike the previous 2 years, #TompaBay has struggled mightily. Injuries to the O-Line and Secondary have played a major role in their struggles. Plus Tom Brady is going through a steep decline. For this game Edgar, Allan, Poe, will be in a skit where they enter a haunted house trying to escape with Halloween Candy. Are you boys ready for it? All 3: Whistling (BRING IT!) The game began in bizarre fashion. The Bucs defense shut down the Raven passing game on the opening drive, but once again the special teams unit caused chaos by taking advantage of a muffed punt. It only got them 3 points out of it, but Baltimore will certainly take it. (The 3 Raven brothers escape the first room of the haunted house) However Tom Brady is on the other side, and knowing him he won’t go down easily. Thanks to a pair of nice completions to Mike Evans, Tampa Bay scored a TD to take the lead. (Evil Pirate: ARR! Edgar/Allan/Poe: AAAAAAAAH!) Then they forced a 3 and out, and got deep into Raven territory again, but this time the Boys in Purple stopped them and only gave up a field goal. 10-3. (Edgar: We must fight back!) The toughest part for the Raven offense was that the Buccaneers front seven was suffocating the O-Line. With Lamar having little time to throw, and no running lanes being created, everything seemed lost. But then Mike Man and his defense would have to bail out Greg Roman’s offense. Brady, like most games against the Ravens, was getting confused by their crafty blitzes. The score remained 10-3. (The Raven brothers and Evil Pirates get into a fight) At the end of the 1st Half, Jackson and company finally got moving. With Mark Andrews and Rashod Bateman going down with injuries, they had to come up with quick fixes. Exhibits A and B: Isaiah Likely, and DeMarcus Robinson. They marched deep into enemy territory, but on a 4th and 2, Roman got too cute with the play calling and went for a 50-50 ball. It didn’t work. The score was still 10-3. (Raven brothers get chased around the haunted house)

There was panic starting to settle in, are the Ravens really that good, or are they just all hype? BOOM! Well Planet LJ had other ideas. He and Roman decided to change their strategy in the 2nd Half. Instead of throwing the ball on nearly every play, they went for the run instead. With Gus Edwards and Kenyan Drake pounding the ball, the Bucs D was starting to get tired. CRACK! And on top of that Shaq Barrett suffered a season ending injury. (Also he copied Ray Ray after a sack) Wouldn’t you know it, Baltimore tied the game on a TD pass to Kenyan Drake. The Buccaneers soon realized the impact of a massive amount of Ravens fans invading Raymond James Stadium was hard to overcome. TB12 was getting eaten alive by Justin Houston, and Madubuike. The Ravens could smell blood in the water. (Raven brothers start killing the Evil Pirates) Planet LJ is throwing dimes with Likely and Robinson creating separation. Likely himself would score his 1st NFL TD to give Baltimore the lead. Even as the Buccaneers storm back for a field goal, there is optimism for the 20,000 Raven fans in attendance. This was a different team than the one that blew 4th Quarter leads a plenty. With the running game exploiting Tampa’s weaknesses, and the banged up secondary having no answers for the unheralded B-More pass catchers, the lead was now 24-13. (Raven brothers face the final boss) But as expected Brady wasn’t giving up. The Buccaneers thanks to REFBALL (Memelords: Carl Cheffers = Tom Brady’s Uncle) and a deep pass to Mike Evans have a chance to get back in it. They even scored a TD, BEEP! And then get called for holding. It’s ok they got a field goal out of it. But the Ravens responded to this by getting a big return from Devin Duvernay, and another long run from Drake. They may not have run out the clock, but hey they’re up 2 scores with 2 minutes left, we’re all safe. Even as Tampa scored a TD to pile up their stats it’s too late. Baltimore survives with a much needed win to maintain 1st place in the AFC North. Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (ARR ME MATEYS! You Pirates can’t stop us from getting candy!) PAUSE.

Narrator: Now there’s the Ravens we know and love. Going on the road and making a statement against a once solid contender. The Buccaneers may not be as good as expected, but hey a win is a win. This was probably their most complete game they’ve played all season. Lamar was solid in the 2nd Half, the reinforcements at WR made plays when they needed to. Gus the Bus and Kenyan feasted in the 2nd Half. And the defense despite dropping 3 picks excelled for most of the game. This was going to be the Ravens toughest test on paper during this part of their schedule, and they prevailed in a big way. Now at 5-3 with a one game lead in the AFC North, they potentially have clear sailing to the division title. Luckily for both GoldMine and Dark Knight their injuries aren’t that serious, although Bateman is going to be out until at least Thanksgiving. Edwards was banged up in this game, but his hamstring injury won’t be serious. Even better news David Ojabo and Tyus Bowser were activated to the 53 man roster. They’ll be ready to go for the stretch run. Anyways, what did the bros do in the haunted house? Poe: Whistling (We just slaughtered a bunch of Evil Pirates) Narrator: Oh that’s great Poe! It turns out that our Halloween is going to be an instant success. I wonder what can top this? BOOOOOOOOOOM!!! (Bears trade All Pro Roquan Smith to the Ravens) Marylander (Vincent Price Impersonation): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Narrator: OH MY GOD! PAUSE.

Narrator: Behold the Halloween Blockbuster of the Year! This is the emphatic promise of insufferable Marylanders everywhere! Roquan Smith, the league’s leading tackler, a man who is in the prime of his career, and is coming off an All Pro season in Chicago, has been traded to Baltimore. The best part about this is that the Ravens only gave up a 2nd, a 5th, and a backup LB in AJ Klein. This move makes this squad a trendy Super Bowl Contender. The Ravens have lacked a potentially generational MLB since Ray Lewis. Not only is Smith an excellent tackler, he can play the run, the pass, he can blitz. I mean he had no weaknesses. This screams all in. Baltimore knows that this may be their last shot at a Super Bowl before Cap Hell comes. With Lamar, Roquan, Peters, and many others due for extensions, the only conclusion for this season is a championship. And with the schedule that they have coming up, plus Cincinnati being 0-3 in the division, Baltimore should have the AFC North locked up on Christmas Weekend. To end this episode, we’ve gotta another skit for you. Enjoy!

Marylander: I was chilling peacefully in the Bank one night, when a whistling voice just hit me in sight. It was the Raven brothers, with their beaks up and high. And suddenly, to my surprise. Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (We did the mash!) Marylander: They did the MONSTER MASH! Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (THE MONSTER MASH!) Marylander: It was a B-More smash! Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (We did the mash!) The Ravens winnin’ every dash! Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (We did the mash!) Marylander: They did the MONSTER MASH! Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (AHOOOOOOOOO! AHOOOOOOOOO! AHOOOOOOOOO! AHOOOOOOOOO!) Marylander: RAVENS GHANTA SUPER BOWL! R-A-V-E-N-S RAVENS!

Episode 9: at Saints (Finally a Butt Whooping)

Narrator: I can smell the false hope right now. The AFC right now is up for grabs. The Bills somehow lost to the Jets and are 0-2 against their own division. The Chiefs needed OT and an inexperienced QB to feast on to beat the Titans. Plus 2 AFC North rivals are on a Bye Week, and the Bungles well are a roller coaster. It’s not like the Ravens are dealing with their own problems. The injury bug has returned despite 10 days in between games. It was revealed that Rashod Bateman would be placed on the season ending IR thanks to having lisfranc surgery in his foot. (The same injury Hollywood had at Oklahoma) Not to mention Mark Andrews and Gus Edwards also got injured against Tampa Bay. But thanks to Devin Duvernay, Isaiah Likely, Kenyan Drake, and DeMarcus Robinson putting up solid games, the Boys in Purple held on to win and maintain 1st place in the division. Like most years GM Eric DeCosta made a bold splash at the trade deadline to bolster the defense. This time he traded 2nd and 5th Round picks plus LB AJ Klein to the Bears for one of the best Middle Linebackers in the NFL. Roquan Smith. It was a move that needed to happen. The Ravens have not had a potentially generational MLB since Ray Lewis. And hopefully Smith lives up to the hype. Roquan himself stated that he had no idea that he was traded, but once he arrived the guys embraced him as expected.

Even after acquiring the biggest fish on the trade market it won’t stop the talking heads from gloating about the lack of talent at WR. Poe: Whistling (This already) Narrator: Poe these people need to relax. With Bateman being out for the season, and Andrews being inactive for the 1st time in his career, many are saying that the Ravens aren’t contenders without a legit receiver. Little do they know that they won a championship without such need back in 2000. Yes the game was different back then but still. All you need is an elite run game, defense, and all the momentum there is. Besides, the passing game is getting a minor upgrade. Ah yes DeSean Jackson. After 2 weeks on the practice squad, he is ready to be activated to the 53 man roster. As long as he doesn’t end up like Dez Bryant in 2020 he’ll be alright. As for the defense, they went from a unit described as trash by Stephen A Smith to one of the most underrated units in the game. The pass rush as stated before went from their biggest weakness under Wink to their greatest strength under Mike Man. With the veteran leadership of JPP, and Justin Houston, the front seven has quietly become one of the best in the game. With Calais Campbell returning this week that’s a plus. (Thank god the infection he had wasn’t serious) Even better news is that both Tyus Bowser and David Ojabo are also returning from the IR. They may not make an impact early on, but keep an eye on them once December rolls around.

With their Mini-Bye-Week continuing to unfold the major figure like last week was the rascal known as Lamar Jackson. Planet LJ along with James Proche and a few others attended Wrestle Mania. During the event he was called out by Ramey right away. Jackson gave the LOL face both in the front row and on Twitter afterwards. Not to mention he asked Boy Wonder if he could bring out good friend and rapper Loe Shimmy to the Week 11 game at M&T against the Panthers. The reasoning was so that they could have a boombox playing while they exit the locker room and walk near the tunnel. Edgar: Whistling (Are we trying to copy the 49ers last postseason) Narrator: Edgar I think we are. But we have more swag. Allan: Whistling (I like it!) Narrator: It sounds like a good idea but I’m not sure that Harbaugh will allow this with his old school mentality. I bet you the defensive guys will buy into that.

Anyways all news aside this matchup for the Ravens is crucial for many reasons. With a chance to gain a nice cushion in their division, they face a team that is looking to regain the momentum of years prior. The New Orleans Saints. A team that has had to overcome a massive culture change this offseason due to Sean Payton stepping down. His replacement Dennis Allen has done a decent job. We as Marylanders know him as the guy that was the victim of the most points that the Ravens have ever scored in a game at M&T Bank Stadium. (His time with the Raiders was a dud) Just like he did in that game, Dennis Allen is trotting out a former starting QB from the Cincinnati Bengals. Andy Dalton. A man in which the Boys in Purple have plenty of history with good and bad. He may have 3 memorable 4th Down Hail Mary plays against them, but Baltimore has beaten him like a drum in the past 5 matchups. For the 3rd time since 2006 the Ravens and Saints would play on Monday Night Football in the Superdome. (Baltimore won the first 2 matchups) Just like last week the B-More gets to play on the road in primetime with the comfort of a massive fanbase in New Orleans. (You can thank plenty of Baltimore based companies being based in the Big Easy) See for yourself, Ravens fans: “OOOOOOOOOOOO!” (That chant during the Star Spangled Banner never gets old, NEVER!) Narrator: The Ravens may be short handed on offense but that’s not going to stop them from making another NFC South team look soft. And right away the new look defense would make their presence felt. With Roquan Smith on board, and a now healthy Tyus Bowser, the Front 7 could unlock its full potential. Despite giving up a 15 gain to Chris Olave on the opening play, New Orleans could do nothing against the Ravens D. On the Saints next possession, Kyle Hamilton was robbed of his first NFL interception thanks to REFBALL. (I won’t argue since Chuck Clark mauled Juwan Johnson) It’s ok because Alvin Kamara was lit up by Roquan on 2 consecutive plays to force a 3 and out. The Baltimore offense despite being short handed would do what they do best. Ball controlled attack with minimum risks. It makes sense when you’re missing your top weapons. Planet LJ passed the ball to 5 different targets and his 24 yard TD to Isaiah Likely marked the 100th touchdown pass of his young career. Poe: Whistling (Keep sleeping on this man’s arm) Narrator: Absolutely Poe! These guys don’t know what they are talking about. 

With a 7 point lead, the pass rush would tee off on the Red Rifle. Both Justin Houston and Calais Campbell were in a throwback to 2015. Allan: Whistling (Who cares if they are in their mid 30s, they’ll still dominate) Narrator: Dominating one of the best tackles in the game in Ryan Ramczyk for nearly the entire 1st Half and letting the others feast as well. It also helps that there really aren’t any weaknesses on this unit anymore as there were last year. (Plus Patrick Queen has more freedom and has gotten better by the game since Week 5) As did the Ravens running attack. It turns out that not having JK Dobbins or Gus Edwards isn’t such a bad thing after all. That’s what happens when you have quite possibly the best run blocking O-Line in the game. (With 3 potential All Pros in Stanley, Linderbaum, and Zeitler) Whether it was Lamar, or Kenyan Drake, the O-Line was giving them room to roam. Drake himself scored to make it 14-0. But then New Orleans for the first time all night would put together a drive. Both Kamara and Olave contributed for most of the yards on the 12 play drive, as the Saints marched deep in Baltimore territory. What undid them was a dropped pass in the end zone, plus excellent coverage on the 2nd and 3rd down plays. Luckily for What Dat Nation they would at least get 3 points out of it. Leading 14-3 at halftime, the Boys in Purple had a nice cushion that they’d hope would carry over into the 2nd Half.

Which it would, the running game continued to impose its will with holes being opened up for Drake, and Jackson to run through. Planet LJ may have been limited in the passing game thanks to unique coverages thrown out by Dennis Allen but don’t let that get in the way of what the Ravens are trying to do. They want to march the Saints out of their own building. It’ll come eventually since Jackson missed 2 potential TD throws thanks to some serious pressure from the Saints D-Line. (One of the few times that the O-Line got beat in this game) The score is at least 17-3 as JT would add a field goal. New Orleans responded by playing the short game with Kamara being used as a runner and pass catcher. The only downside is that Andy Dalton was still getting pounded by the Ravens pass rush. Exhibit A, a 3rd Down at the Ravens 10 yard line. Everyone that is an outsider believes that Baltimore is about to blow another 10+ point lead. But what they fail to realize is how much of an impact Mike Man has made on their pass rush. “9 guys up at the line of scrimmage, and Humphrey gets home.” That is scheming right there. If that was Wink they probably get burned for a TD because he would have drawn up a blitz with improper placement. Here it was perfectly executed. All Pro Marlo sneaks in off the edge and drops Dalton for a 9 yard loss. Saints settle for a field goal. That right there was probably the death blow to their comeback hopes. Even as they forced a 3 and out, New Orleans once again got burned in pass blocking by the MonStars. That opened the door for Roman to play keepaway. And they did. At first it was easy, there were plenty of big holes to run through. But once they got down inside the redzone things stalled out. A lot of it was due to the crowd noise forcing them to burn 2 timeouts and a delay of game penalty. (They call this the loudest domed stadium in the NFL for a reason) Luckily the Ravens still got 3 points, but it could have been a lot worse. At least Harbaugh didn’t lose his mind. Next possession for the Saints, well they got victimized by a tipped pass from Brent Urban that led to an interception by Justin Houston. (What a game and few weeks he is having) That ultimately led to the knockout shot from Kenyan Drake. Did anything else happen, nothing serious just a garbage time TD which forced Marcus Peters, and Chuck Clark into a family argument with Boy Wonder. (It’s part of life, but hey boys will be boys) Also for the 2nd straight game, the opposing stadium was dominated by the Ravens Flock by the end of the game. Marylander: YEAH BABY! WE’RE BAAAAACK! PAUSE.

Narrator: This game to me meant one thing. The Ravens have reinserted themselves as legitimate Super Bowl Contenders. It took some time, but honestly it feels good to say that again. Yes people will say they need a top receiver but when you have a run game like this, an O-Line that just made mincemeat of 2 very good defensive fronts in consecutive primetime games, and a defense that has finally lived up to the hype after weeks of retooling in the lab you can get away with this. Did I mention that Mark Andrews, Gus Edwards, and David Ojabo are coming back after the Bye Week. Yeah who is gonna wanna mess with this crew. With their schedule coming up, the Boys in Purple having possibly a clear sailing to the #1 seed. (Carolina, Jacksonville, Denver, Pittsburgh x2, Cleveland, Atlanta, Cincinnati. The easiest stretch on paper in the league) And the scary thing is, the defense is only getting stronger. If they can put up a game like this with Roquan Smith having just arrived and getting his feet wet, who knows what they can do going forward. Not only that Marcus Williams will be back some time in December. With that Front 7, and Secondary who wants to play this unit? Edgar: Whistling (The Chiefs and Bills may be the defacto best teams in the AFC, but we have the crew to beat them) Narrator: Edgar you’re spot on. Both them and Miami have top tier passing games. But its harder for those groups to generate points in cold weather without an elite run game. If the Ravens could hang with those teams before all of the moves they made this year, who knows what they can do come playoff time. All I can say is I’m so glad that we have the AFC North lead to ourselves going into the Bye Week. And with the schedule we have coming up, I can anticipate a potential division clincher on Christmas Eve. (With the Bengals having yet to play the Chiefs, Bills, Titans, Buccaneers, and Patriots, plus a 2nd game with the Ravens it could get rough and fast) Let the insufferability of Marylanders everywhere reign supreme! “Marylander: We’re dancing, and singing, and moving to the rhythm, and just when, it hit me, somebody turned around and shouted, PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHITE BOY! Edgar/Allan/Poe: Whistling (PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHITE!) Marylander: PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC WHITE BOY! LAY DOWN A BOOK AND THEN PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC TILL YOU DIE! (The boys had to recreate Jonathan Ogden on the sideline of that 2006 MNF game in the Superdome. Bringing back the good old days!)

Harbaugh: WHO’S GOT IT BETTER THAN US!? Everyone: NOOOOOBODY!!!

Stay Tuned for Part 2!