Another NBA season has come and gone. For those that were satisfied with their seasons we’ve already told their stories. Now we must remember those who didn’t make the postseason. Who are the unlucky servants this time around?
Charlotte Hornets (The Gongshow of the League): Every time this franchise has a core starting to emerge the Basketball Gods must throw a pie in the face of the GOAT. This season for the Hornets was a prime example. Being without Miles Bridges for an entire season due to suspension was going to be tough on its own. But Charlotte was exposed right from the opening game. Bringing back Steve Clifford and his uninspiring offensive structure was a mistake and it showed. I sound like a broken record for saying this but get yourself an elite center. That’s the one flaw that’s held the franchise back throughout Jordan’s tenure as owner. Speaking of MJ, his future with the team is uncertain. There are rumors that he may be selling the team in the future. I can’t tell how much of this is his fault or just rotten luck. Speaking of rotten luck just like in the Anthony Davis Lottery back in 2012, the Hornets were trolled at the altar. (And Wembanyama would have ended their search for an elite center too) They must settle for the 2nd Overall selection. Which means they are still getting a generational talent in Scoot Henderson or Brandon Miller. It may not be the main prize but either one of them would be #1 pick in any other draft. LaMelo needs a running mate and this may be it. Just don’t count on Gordon Hayward being just that, his contract is one of the worst in the game. Oof.
Dallas Mavericks (2015-16 Milwaukee Bucks): No one believed me at the start of the year when I said that Dallas would take a step back and lose in the play-in tournament. All of that talent on the roster plus a bold trade for Christian Wood and you pick the Timberwolves to make it to the postseason. Heresy! But then those people realized that besides Luka Doncic the rest of the team played the role of tar sands. Uninspiring, lacked other offensive options, and crumbled against stronger teams. Around 500 at the trade deadline, Mark Cuban drank the stupid juice in believing that Kyrie Irving would solve all of their problems. Pundits across both ESPN and NBA TV hailed Dallas as championship contenders. What happened next? BOOM! One of the biggest meltdowns in NBA History. This is what happens when you trade three of your better defenders plus multiple 1st Round picks. It backfires wonderfully. And don’t make excuses about how you got screwed by Golden State thanks to a ref misjudgement, YOU WEREN’T MAKING THE PLAYOFFS ALL ALONG! This season has proven one thing that I’ve been screaming at for years. Jason Kidd is the NBA’s Mike Keenan. Good coach in Year 1, then demands power, wants full control, and his coaching style becomes stale in the process. No wonder why he wants to become GM and have full control of building the roster. Luka, and Kyrie I beg you. Please get out of this mess before they turn you into NBA’s Trout and Ohtani. Well at least you didn’t give up a lottery pick to the Nets.
Detroit Pistons (The Biggest Tank Failure EVER): There is a risk of tanking in sports especially in today’s NBA. There’s no guarantee of the #1 overall pick. The Pistons now have to learn this the hard way. Their season was over the moment Cade Cunningham went down in November. Once that happened, Detroit brought out the biggest tank in franchise history in hopes of bringing home the best draft prospect since LeBron. It was a disaster. Not only did the Pistons not get the #1 pick, they didn’t even get a pick in the Top 4. (Sorry Jalen Rose) Snakebitten in every sense of the word. Dwayne Casey to no one’s surprise was fired at the end of the season. Great. This should have happened after 2021. It’s only fitting that the Pistons replaced Dwayne Casey with a coach who has an identical background before coming to Motown. I wonder who that is? Adam Silver: “Take him to DETROIT!” Monty Williams: “No, NO NOT DETROIT! NO PLEASE! STOP IT!” (It’s like we never left 2018 at all. Plus Monty should still be the coach in Phoenix. Why? If Mat Ishbia wasn’t so desperate)
Houston Rockets (Bring Back James Harden): The tank is still rolling to the surprise of no one. But it may be coming to an end sooner than we think. A young core is starting to be formed slowly but surely. There were some bright spots. Jalen Green, Kevin Porter, and Jabari Smith came on strong in the 2nd Half of the year. Despite the bad record they played well against some of the better teams in the league. I wish I could say that about them against teams with bad records. They struggled against squads they should have beaten on paper. Defensive issues all season were too much to overcome. There’s progress being made but Houston is basically halfway done with their rebuild. Especially since they lost out on Henderson or Miller in the Draft Lottery. Like Detroit the Gods trolled them at the 11th Hour. But hey there’s a chance you can bring home James Harden. He may not be what he was, but the fans need an old hero from the past to keep them tuned in right? Just think about it come July.
Indiana Pacers (Rotten Luck): Just like most years the Pacers come into the season with an interesting roster only for it to crumble when it matters. For most of the season they were exceeding expectations. They had the 6th seed in the East at the Break. Tyrese Haliburton had emerged into an All Star in his first full season. Bennedict Mathurin was in the running for Rookie of the Year, plus a healthy Myles Turner. There’s no way Indiana can come crumbling down to earth this time right. CRACK! And then Haliburton goes down with injury. Once that happened the wheels fell off this tesla bus and the collapse was underway. And not just any collapse, a 4-17 stretch to end the year. I know Haliburton was injured but dear god did the defense take a massive hit. If not for the Spurs they would have set the league record for points in a season. When a team brings in George Hill at the trade deadline to replace their star player that’s a near literal white flag on a season. Injuries aside they’re getting better, and who knows how they’ll fix the holes on the roster. As long as Rick Carlisle isn’t past his expiration as a coach you’ll be fine just saying. (They have the #7 pick and could be buyers for a trade asset. Stay tuned)
Orlando Magic (A Decade of Futility): How long has this franchise been tanking? At least since they traded Dwight Howard to the Lakers. Even with young talents like Paul Banchero, and the Wagner Brothers they still are nowhere near competitive. When Markelle Fultz is your 2nd best scoring option on a nightly basis you still need to take a long look in the mirror. The development of both Jalen Suggs and Cole Anthony has not gone according to plan. Record wise by Magic standards this isn’t a bad year, especially with how well they played in the 2nd Half of year. But if this team is finally going to break out of their decade of misfortunes and bad decisions one move has to be made. Get rid of John Hammond. He has learned nothing from his tenure in Milwaukee with bad decisions in free agency. Oh but he drafted Giannis and Khris Middleton 10 years ago, well that’s the only thing saving his reputation from being one of the worst GMs in the modern NBA. I hope Orlando knows this too. And considering that they won’t be picking in the Top 5 this year, I see that trend continuing.
Portland Trail Blazers (Operation Save Dame): In a year when the fans believed that High End Talent would carry them towards a deep run, the Blazers once again underachieved. When a team has a league high three teammates averaging 20 PPG including Damian Lillard you should be locks for the playoffs right. (BUZZER) That’s the sound of all optimism dying in Rip City. Early on it looked alright. Portland had control of the 7th seed in the West at the All Star Break. The chance to get back in the playoffs was in their grasp but then. BOOM! Uh, ok. This was easily the greatest collapse in franchise history. I don’t know if some of it was tanking or some of it was just that they sucked. When you lose 15 of 17 to end the year, why should people have hope going forward. Now the question this offseason is whether they’ll be able to keep Dame around. I think they will. They have the 3rd Overall pick to work with and they are most likely getting either Henderson or Miller depending on which one is available. But seriously if anyone needs to go it’s Chauncey Billups. This man has been exposed behind the bench. It’s gotten so bad that the fanbase is wondering if Terry Stotts was that bad of a coach. You lowballed quite possibly the best coach in franchise history for a guy with no experience. Did I mention that Denver won a ring as well. Why do you say that? Because congratulations you’re the new age red headed stepchild of the West. (To be fair they are one move away from either blowing it up or turning it around)
San Antonio Spurs (A New Hope): We knew the playoff/play-in streak was coming to an end eventually. This just so happened to be the year. Losing 16 of 17 early in the season spelled the end of their long standing run. It also included shattering the record for most points allowed in a season I know the narrative is to say that Coach Pop should retire soon, and I think he will. But from how I see it he’ll be on the sidelines until he has nothing left. This may have been the first time that the Spurs weren’t anywhere near the postseason in over 25 years but look at the seeds you’re grown as a franchise. The Empire isn’t dead yet. You wanna know why. Because they claimed the ultimate prize of the offseason. They won the 2023 draft lottery. The prize of the Greatest Prospect the NBA has seen since LeBron James is in their arms. With the Wembanyama Era about to begin I can say this. Boys, you’re back, it may have looked ugly but hey let the Empire reign supreme once more.
Utah Jazz (Signs of Progress): This team reminds me a lot of the 2014 Celtics. A team that let go of the three faces of the franchise yet still nearly made it to the playoffs thanks to a youth movement that captured the imagination of the fanbase. Lauri Markkanen has finally realized his potential. And the All Star Caliber year he put up is evidence. By the end of the season, Walker Kessler came on strong and has the potential to be their next Gobert-like defensive anchor. Even if they ran out of gas in March due to the injury bug, the Jazz have plenty of intrigue going forward. They’ll have 13 separate 1st Round picks to work with thanks to Danny Ainge fleecing Cleveland, and Minnesota. Utah will have their chance at a golden age in the future especially with all of that capital to work with. I’ll check back in on this next season, but right now it’s a good start. Keep going.
Washington Wizards (Consumed by Mediocrity): I don’t get what the Wizards are doing. Part of me feels like they are building for the future, the other says that they are the East Coast Boys Club who pretends that everything is fine. Just like most instances over the past few years, Washington gets off to a good start thanks to a healthy Bradley Beal and role playing out of their minds. What usually happens, well Beal gets injured and the rest of the team turns into pumpkins ready to be carved. You know what they’ll best be remembered for this season? Kyle Kuzma and his pregame fashion trends. That’s how bad it was for the WizKids by the end of the year. Wes Unseld Jr is still stuck in the shadows of his late father and it has shown over the past 2 years. Not to mention things could get even more difficult for them. Bradley Beal himself may have played his last game in DC. The organization is going to look at trade offers to get him out of there. Wizards, you have your answer to John Tavares when he was an Islander. An elite talent wasted by a bad front office. FOR SHAME! PAUSE.
And that my friends is the end of the 76th season of the NBA. For how chaotic and crazy this season was it did have a happy ending in a lot of ways. The Denver Nuggets finally broke through. The drought is over. And just like Minnesota, Phoenix, and the Lakers, Miami fell victim to their playstyle and high energy. Look at the feel good stories. Nikola Jokic putting his name among some of the all time greats when it comes to big men. Michael Porter Jr and Jamal Murray returning from injury to win a title in a year span. Mike Malone finally winning his first championship after a long accomplished career as an NBA Head Coach. And finally we must mention a man who has further staked his case as the Emperor of Sports. Stan Kroenke. This title marks his 4th championship in the last 16 months and 3rd in each of the 4 major sports. (The Professional Lacrosse he owns also won it all last year) Something not many owners can claim. Most importantly one of the longest standing Legacies of Failure is over, especially for a fanbase that was in the shadows of many great teams for so long. Now with the new CBA kicking in this offseason, I expect there to be insanity across the entire league, I’m counting on it.
Bragging Rights Sports 