(Omar Whistle/Warriors playing)………………………………………………………………………
Bragging Rights Sports Presents:
A Maryland Culture Production
“In 1996, they arrived in Baltimore away from an angry Dawg Pound. They have been criticized by many people outside of their city ever since their inception. Despite 2 championships and many Hall of Famers they get little respect. They get called names such as Murderer, Running Back, Hypocrite, Overrated, Soft, and others. But even if they are disrespected more than any team in the NFL the goal is still the same. Win the Lombardi Trophy. No one outside of the 410 cares about them, yet they work harder every single day. These boys have a swagger, and like to be pushed no matter what. We as Marylanders call them…………………………….”
CHARM CITY BEASTS
The Unrivaled Themed Story of the Baltimore Ravens
(It’s Never Pretty, It’s Never Perfect, BUT IT IS US!)
(XXXV, XLVII)
(BIG TRUZZ)
(THE TEAM, THE TEAM, THE TEAM)
Lamar Jackson, Tyler Huntley, Mark Andrews, Justin Tucker, Marlon Humphrey, Kyle Hamilton, Roquan Smith, Odell Beckham Jr, Patrick Queen, John Harbaugh, Eric DeCosta, Todd Monken, Mike Macdonald, Sashi Brown, Steve Bisciotti, Edgar, Allan, Poe, with the Salty Marylander/Narrator Michael Hession, and Special Guest the Oriole Bird
Episode 19: The Offseason of Insanity (Now It Can Be Told)
R-A-V-E-N-S RAVENS!
Narrator: The time has finally come for me to do an episode of this series. What has it been? 3 months? Yeah let’s end that wait. Since the playoff loss to the Bungles, the Boys in Purple have gone through some changes in the coaching staff. The fans’ wishes of Greg Roman not coming back were granted as his contract expired after the 2022 season. And to the surprise of no one, Boy Wonder Johnny Harbaugh decided that they wouldn’t renew his contract. So the Roman Empire after 5 years of up and down play calling with the team has finally fallen to ashes. Honestly they had to do it. Baltimore from an offensive standpoint has been trying to take the next step into becoming a balanced attack that can hurt you in every phase but Roman never got them to do that besides 2019 and most of 2020. So with Roman out, Harbaugh began searching for his next offensive coordinator. They had up to 30 potential candidates for the job including Frank Reich and Eric Bienemy. Reich took the head coaching job in Carolina, and Bienemy left the Chiefs to become the OC of the Washington Commanders. (Both men are headed straight to hell and it’s not even their fault. Blame Dan Snyder and David Tepper) In the end, after a month of interviews and scouting, the Ravens found their next Offensive Coordinator. Todd Monken fresh off 2 National Championships as the OC for the Georgia Bulldogs. His balanced schemes with Stetson Bennent put the fear of god into every SEC opponent including Alabama, LSU, and many others. Georgia’s defense may have gotten plenty of attention but it was their offense that led the SEC in scoring both years he was there. When I think of that offense, I think of him maximizing the potentials for both George Pickens and Brock Bowers. The way he used Kenny McIntosh as a deadly all purpose feature back. And as I said, it was balanced. Every player on that Bulldogs offense was a threat to beat you at every turn. And if you are wondering, does he have NFL experience? Yes he does. However he was the OC for both the Browns and Buccaneers from 2016-2020. Tampa and the first year in Cleveland he at least had an excuse because both Dirk Koetter and Freddie Kitchens were both overmatched. At least with Johnny he’ll be around the same kind of coaching staff that he was when he was with Kirby Smart in Athens.
The next domino to fall would be a man that every Ravens fan has been begging to see get fired since the COVID outbreak in 2020. Steve Saunders. Just like in his time with the 49ers almost a decade ago, Saunders mismanaged players’ rehabs from injuries and it either forced them to leave in free agency or retire in their primes. Recently it was revealed that both Hollywood and Orlando Brown wanted out not because they were divas, but because they didn’t want Saunders ruining their offseason program routines. (Although both of the Brown’s were total divas come 2020) This year was icing on the cake. Both Rashod Bateman and Devin Duvernay suffered minor foot injuries at midseason. Saunders messed up Bateman’s rehab so badly that he was put on IR for the rest of the season. Duvernay’s rehab wasn’t serious at first but then he hurt the same foot again in Week 15 and was also put on IR for good. Turns out that both Derek Wolfe and RG3 were right. The damage that Saunders had on this franchise over a 3 year period is something this side of Scrooge McDuck. And he didn’t get fired, his contract like Roman’s also expired in the offseason. Now the Ravens must search for a replacement coach. It didn’t take them long to do so but they promoted Scott Elliott to become the Head Strength and Conditioning. Luckily he was only around for one season before taking the head job, so at least he offers a different point of view when it comes to players rehabbing from injuries. As long as he doesn’t fall into the same traps as Saunders he’ll be ok.
(The Room Where It Happens playing) Now here comes the topic that has been on everyone’s minds since that last Hail Mary pass in the Wild Card Game. The future of Planet LJ. The question that a majority of the public was asking was why didn’t Lamar travel with the team to Cincinnati for that playoff game? Well, according to Eric DeCosta the reasoning was because players that are severely injured don’t travel with the team for road games. (Other than Ray Lewis in 2011 and 12 any Raven that is injured doesn’t leave Baltimore until they are fully recovered) Case in point Rashod Bateman and Devin Duvernay also didn’t travel to Cincinnati. The next question was whether Jackson didn’t return after the knee sprain in Week 13 against the Broncos due to his contract, or was he legitimately injured? LJ responded by saying that he had suffered a Grade 2 PCL sprain and normally that takes 6-8 weeks to heal. (Khris Middleton of the Bucks suffered the same injury in the NBA Playoffs last year, and it took him that long to walk without pain) It also doesn’t help that his rehab took longer than expected because YOU GUESSED IT! Steve Saunders is a hack! (He messed up Lamar’s rehab from the ankle injury the previous year as well) That didn’t stop pundits and fans from saying that he was holding out. If he were holding out, he wouldn’t have played the 2022 season on his 5th year option. Despite hiring Todd Monken, Lamar didn’t really care about the hiring but rather trying to get a deal done. Then ESPN came out and said that both sides were $100M apart from a contract. It was told by Adam Schefter that Lamar was offered a $250M fully guaranteed contract. However Jackson claimed that the Ravens offered him a 3 year contract worth $133M guaranteed. So the $250M deal was never a thing. Then things boiled over on March 2. Lamar Jackson has demanded a trade out of Baltimore. Marylander: Honestly it might suck to lose his talent but here they have to do it. LJ is turning into a diva that rivals his BFF Antonio Brown, and he is starting to get on Ravens fans’ nerves. Just start over with a new QB.
Narrator: Even if some of the fanbase wanted Jackson gone, the front office still signed him to the franchise tag. Although it did leave the door open for Lamar to negotiate with other teams. Plus the Ravens would have the chance to match the contract offered by the other teams. If they didn’t match the deal, Baltimore would receive two 1st Round picks at minimum. (Knowing EDC they would want the next Herschel Walker Trade) There was just one problem. (DRAMATIC MUSIC!) No one was willing to offer Lamar a contract. It honestly makes sense for these teams just because they have their own QB issues, and concerns on the roster. And to take the risk of giving Baltimore a ridiculous draft package and have Lamar sign a massive contract. No wonder why everyone stayed away. (Not to mention the Ravens track record in the draft is one of the best of the modern era) However Steve Bisciotti, and Sashi Brown had a plan. Once Lamar’s trade request went viral on March 27 while Harbaugh was speaking to the media at the League Meeting, they decided that in order to keep Lamar upbeat, they had to make a move to add an accomplished WR. Their target. Odell Beckham Jr. A man who was fresh off a 2nd Torn ACL in 3 years (Thank those dirty Bungles for each injury) however if he didn’t get hurt in Super Bowl LVI he likely would have been the games MVP. Beckham had a renaissance with the Rams during the 2021 Postseason, and even if he missed the entire 2022 season, OBJ would still be a high asset for a receiver hungry team. The Ravens knew it. Rashod Bateman and Devin Duvernay have high potential as long as they stay healthy, plus Mark Andrews is still a Top 3 TE. They just needed to find one more piece to complete the receiver core. Odell was the piece in their eyes. However they would have a serious challenger to deal with when it came to the OBJ sweepstakes. The New York Jets. Apparently the ButtFumble is going all in this season. Their plan this offseason was to do everything in their power to land Aaron Rodgers just the way they did with Brett Favre 15 years ago. Rodgers himself declared on the Pat McAfee Show that he wanted to play in New York. (Well he owns a minority stake in the Bucks and is dating the daughter of co-owner Wes Edens who is from New York anyways) The Jets first attempt to make sure Rodgers would be in the Big Apple was signing his top target last year in Allen Lazard for $15M a year. Even with that signing the Jets made it clear. They wanted Rodgers and OBJ. They even planned for Beckham to come back to town for a visit on April 10. It was looking more and more of a possibility that the Ravens, just like they did in the Bobby Wager sweepstakes last year, would lose the bidding to a big market team for a free agent that they had been gunning for all offseason. However on Easter Sunday, Odell posted on Social Media a picture of his son wearing a purple Lamar Jackson jersey. We know what this means? (BOOM!) Baltimore had stolen the Jets Easter Eggs in the middle of the night! Marylander: What? We signed Odell Beckham? ARE YOU CRAZY! WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WITH LAMAR? PAUSE.
Narrator: Nothing makes sense right now, just when it appeared that the Ravens were heading towards getting rid of their franchise QB, they made one of the biggest splashes and quite possibly the biggest free agent risk in their history. Signing Odell Beckham for a 1 year contract, (DRAMATIC MUSIC) Marylander: AT 18 MILLION A YEAR! Look I get he’s with Todd Monken again, and has a massive chip on his shoulder to put up his usual 1000 yard numbers, but that much money for a guy coming off another ACL tear? I hope this works out! Narrator: True. Now look at it this way. This deal is monumental from a narrative standpoint. A highly regarded talent at WR has actually wanted to come to Baltimore. Let that sink in. The Ravens for many years have struggled to recruit talent at WR to come to Charm City despite offering more money than the teams they signed with. Real receivers don’t go there, they go to big markets like LA, New York, and Philadelphia. Not this time around. Yes OBJ knocked over the Ravens kicking net in 2016, and choked Marlon Humphrey, and gave Wink Martindale the middle finger in 2019, who cares the front office wants to make Lamar comfortable about his future with the team. Speaking of Planet LJ, how did he respond to this? BOOM! (Lamar and OBJ facetime each other and Jackson posts it on Instagram) Marylander: INJECT THE FALSE HOPE INTO MY VEINS RIGHT NOW! WE’RE COMING FOR YOU CINCINNATI! PAUSE.
Narrator: Just what everyone thought. Lamar Jackson not only approved the OBJ signing, he also was wearing his Ravens chain during the call, and wouldn’t you guess it those two after the call went out and partied in Miami all night long in celebration. Once again, Planet LJ played Social Media Fishing with the evil media. He was about done with the Ravens, but nope, he’s coming back this season and who cares if he has to play on the franchise tag, Jackson now has an accomplished receiver to throw to and he’s good friends with him as well. We found out later that Marlon Humphrey was also part of the recruit. Even better news was that the Linebacking GOAT himself approved the signing despite Beckham’s rough history with the Ravens. I mean this signing is one of the biggest risks in franchise history. Normally Eric DeCosta and Ozzie Newsome don’t make moves out of their comfort zone. This was a move that screams desperation. They haven’t made one of those since their last Super Bowl season, and they know that they want to find some way to make it back to the top the future be damned. It’s either going to be the 2nd coming of Anquan Boldin, or the next Elvis Grbac. There’s no inbetween. We’ll let that play out as the year goes on.
With this signing, the approach of the Ravens regarding the NFL Draft has seemed to change just a bit. With Odell, Bateman, and Duvernay, plus Nelson Agohlor also signing on a one year deal (Now don’t develop Evansism) the WR and TE rooms seem to be rounded out. However, that won’t stop the fans from begging for more receivers. There is one name that comes to mind. Jaxon Smith-Njigba. When healthy he is a potentially generational talent at receiver. At Ohio State he was almost unstoppable. Even if he played alongside Chris Olave, and Garrett Wilson, those two even said that JSN was better than those two ever were. If he hadn’t had hamstring problems in 2022, he would easily have been a Top 10 pick. Now we have no idea where he’s going to get selected. (My guess would be late teens early 20s) The other names were Jordan Addison of USC, and Quentin Johnston of TCU. It would be nice to have one of those wideouts on the roster, but Baltimore’s front office isn’t going to ignore the biggest need at this moment. A wingman at cornerback for Marlon Humphrey to work with. One name came to the mind of EDC. Joey Porter Jr. Perhaps the most well rounded corner in the draft, a player with no weaknesses in coverage, and even better he went to Penn State and DeCosta has connections there. I wouldn’t be shocked if they traded up despite only having 5 picks in this year’s draft. (Its ok, they can just trade 3rd-5th round picks in next years draft to move up if they need to) The fans yes want more offensive fireworks, but in order for this team to make it to the promised land especially in the AFC, they are going to need to lockdown these high quality offenses. And they know it. The one who is eager for vengeance on those teams just so happens to be Mike Man. Despite trading Chuck Clark to the Jets for a 7th Round pick, and Marcus Peters’ and Patrick Queen’s futures being undecided, the defense once again should be a brick wall, and Macdonald likes the idea of them taking one of the top corners in the draft especially since the AFC North is loaded at QB and WR. (You must take a corner especially when you have to face Burrow, Pickett, and Watson twice even if Marcus Peters returns) Other than CB all the Ravens really need at this moment is depth on both the O-Line and D-Line. Despite losing Ben Powers to the Broncos in free agency, once again the competition for the LG spot will be a grind. As long as Ben Cleveland doesn’t come into camp out of shape like the last two years, he should take the starting job with ease. On the D-Line Calais Campbell is gone. He signed a 1 year deal with the Falcons so he could be close to home in the South. But even with Captain MonStar gone, the emergence of both Justin Madubuike and Broderick Washington, plus a promising DT in Travis Jones, and hopefully a healthy Michael Pierce will make this D-Line from being overmatched.
Honestly I’ve had enough talking about how crazy this offseason is, I think it’s time for the Raven Brothers to come out of hibernation. Raven Brothers: Whistling (Reporting for duty sir) Narrator: What have you three mutts been up to this offseason. Edgar: Whistling (It’s been relaxing for myself and Allan, we’ve been playing video games and watching Netflix for most of the time) Narrator: What exactly? Allan: Whistling (We’ve played Mario Kart, Madden, Wii Sports, and of course Edgar and Poe still can’t beat me in Just Dance) Narrator: Never change Allan. Who’s been winning the others? Poe: Whistling (I’ve dominated in Mario Kart and Wii Sports, Edgar won’t stop blitzing myself and Allan in Madden and it’s annoying) Edgar: Whistling (Poe, you and Allan were in max protect the whole game and still couldn’t stop my corner blitz) Narrator: Well Edgar is being feisty. Salty Marylander. Marylander: Yes. Narrator: Edgar is challenging you to a game of Madden. Marylander: BRING IT EDGAR! Edgar: Whistling (Oh I will, and you won’t know what hit you) Narrator: Alright just play on. (2 HOURS LATER) Edgar: Whistling (Well well, you really wanted to challenge me? TOO BAD!) Marylander: You got lucky, EA was on your side the whole time. Edgar: Whistling (TOO BAD BUB! You like the other two were in max protection and I still got pressure on the QB) Narrator: What’s even more baffling is that the Salty Marylander requested a rematch since he wasn’t read the first time, and it was worse in the 2nd game. Poe: Whistling (Don’t feel too bad, Edgar does this to all of us in Madden) Narrator: Yeah I know. So what else have you been up to? Allan: Whistling (Poe got to go to the White House for the Easter Egg Roll, and Biden didn’t invite us) Poe: Whistling (Allan I tried to convince the presidential office to bring you boys along but they only wanted me to come) Narrator: Don’t worry Allan, at least you and Edgar will be at both the Draft Party and Beach Bash coming up in the next couple of months. Edgar: Whistling (I know, I’m excited. We’ve never been to a Beach Bash in Ocean City, and it looks fun) Narrator: I mean that should be exciting. So what happened while Poe was in DC? Allan: Whistling (Edgar, myself, and the Salty Marylander played Mario Kart all day, and the Salty Marylander dominated although the random course selection was unfair.) Narrator: Why’s that? Edgar: Whistling (It kept giving us Bowser’s Castle on repeat and there are 3 of them in this game. And myself and Allan were dominated in those races) Narrator: I thought you were going to say DK Summit as well. Allan: Whistling (Yeah that too) Narrator: Well at least you guys are enjoying yourselves. Well that’s going to do it for us, it’ll be an eventful couple of weeks before the NFL Draft, and the good news for us Marylanders is that all the false hope that seemed to vanquish has returned. Oriole Bird: Whistling (And HOW BOUT DEM O’S!) Narrator: Oh yeah and that too. Looking good over there at Camden Yards! Oriole Bird: Whistling (I know right) Anyways like the new fireworks system at Camden Yards working wonders, so are the CHARM CITY BEASTS! Raven Brothers/Oriole Bird: Whistling (Ain’t The Beer Cold BABY!)
Bragging Rights Sports 