Titans vs Packers: Everyone has called out the Titans for not throwing the ball enough this season. It’s probably because the loss of AJ Brown took a toll on them. Well against the Packers that all changed. Ryan Tannehill was back in 2019 form and he had fun doing it. That takes all the pressure off of King Henry. He was solid but not the main story. That happens to be the Packers lack of success. Green Bay has been a mess this season and the only good things that they have going for them is that the Bears are still a mess and they own the Raiders 1st Round pick. That’s the price of Cap Hell, too bad.
Browns vs Bills: The Football Gods betrayed all the meme lords of the NFL. There were 6 feet of snow in Orchard Park, it would have been insane had they played the game in Buffalo. But instead they moved the game to Detroit. It makes sense since the Bills are playing there on Thanksgiving. Even in a different location, BillsMafia must show out. And they did. 50,000 of them made the trip to help their team keep up with Miami. Josh Allen and the offense got out of their slump and stopped the bleeding. Too bad Cleveland, your nightmare season is only getting worse. At 3-7 and not having a pick until the 4th Round it appears that there is no tomorrow for the Browns. But don’t tell that to Jimmy Haslam. He’ll say that’s nonsense and tell you that Deshaun Watson will solve all their problems. A man who has a 500 win percentage and played in the worst division is going to save you? Cleveland being Cleveland I’m just gonna leave it there.
Bears vs Falcons: Anytime the Chicago Bears find a franchise QB, they do nothing but waste them and give them no support. Justin Fields may be the 1st legit QB ever to come out of Ohio State, but he must suffer under the McCaskeys. This game is proof of that. The Falcons beat up Chicago especially on the offensive end. The Bears defense was torched up all game by Marcus Mariota. This is why you don’t trade your 3 best defensive players. That and Eddie Jackson being banged up again has cost them big time. And even in a year where their big brother is a gongshow, Chicago still can’t get anything right. At least they have their 1st Round pick this year. (Also Congrats to Cordarrelle Patterson for breaking the NFL Record for Kickoff Returns for TDs in a career)
Rams vs Saints: This is a Tank Bowl, but there is a catch. Neither team owns their 1st Round pick. This is a game where whoever loses will be kicking themselves. The Saints may be bad thanks to their coach learning nothing from his time with the Raiders but they still have some talent. And it was on full display today. New Orleans brought back their throwback uniforms and the bag headed Aints and LA still couldn’t pull it off. The Rams despite their ring last year are in hell. The F-Them-Picks strategy is starting to bite them. Not only are they in last place with no momentum their 1st 2 picks belong to the Detroit Lions. I know what Rams bandwagoners will tell me, “We won a Super Bowl, you haven’t won a ring in a decade.” Here’s my response. You’re going through what I did from 2015-17 and you’re gonna like it.
Commanders vs Texans: The Commanders despite all their chaos off the field have quietly come on strong these past few games. Following their statement against the Eagles, Washington carved up the tank of the league in the Texans. It got so bad for Houston that they had 0 yards of total offense in the 1st Half. The Commies don’t even have Chase Young at full strength and they still pulled that off. I must give a shout out to Taylor Heinicke. Since he took over as starter, Washington has won 5 of 6 games and are right back in the playoff picture. You know what this means. All 4 NFC East teams have at least 6 wins by Thanksgiving. First time that’s happened since 1992. As for the Texans, well Davis Mills gets benched. Let me guess they want Stroud and Smith-Njigba.
Lions vs Giants: Traps games are so effective in today’s NFL. A team like the Giants fell right into it. All their fans were looking ahead towards Thanksgiving Day and a rematch against Dallas. They forgot that there is another game that they need to play before that. It just happens to be against a Lions team that has put together some nice performances as of late. Detroit ran all over Wink Martindale and Brian Daboll. Both on offense and defense. Saquan Barkley could do nothing against a defense that was giving up 100 yard rushers at will. But to be fair Dan Campbell has turned things around for the Lions. They started 1-6 and now with 3 straight wins they have a foundation that is being built. Against the Bills at home on Turkey Day, I’m interested to see how they measure up against a solid contender? Keep it up.
Eagles vs Colts: Philadelphia is in desperation mode, they may be 8-1 but that loss to Washington in Week 10 is still fresh on their minds. At least they get to play the Colts who have no identity. Well how can I say this, the Eagles looked flat. They allowed a team coached by Jeff Saturday beat them up for 3 Quarters. I know Saturday is a cultural hero after what he did to the Raiders but that’s something you don’t see everyday. But once again, the Eagles need to prove how elite they are. Jalen Hurts has been beat up all game, yet for some reason turned into McNabb in 04 when the game was on the line. Indy this is why you need to put the game away when you get the chance to do so. If you don’t, things like this will happen. “Hurts, will run. Takes it in, Touchdown!” Run, run for your lives Philly, you aren’t getting away with that against stronger opponents. In their defense they needed this win because the rest of the division is breathing down their necks. They want all the advantages that they can get. This is one of them. Although they did become the winners of a new segment called FOOTBALL FISHING! What I mean is that one team gives their opponents all the hope there is and then they yank it away at the last second. That’s what Philadelphia did. COUNT ON IT!
Jets vs Patriots: I’m making a conclusion. This whole game is deserving of FOOTBALL FOLLIES. That’s what happens when you have 2 defensive powerhouses and the long standing tradition of Bill Belichick owning the Jets. Zach Wilson may be the future of the ButtFumble, but like most Jets QBs since Joe Namath he has seen nothing but ghosts. They had 2 yards of total offense in the 2nd Half. That’s what happens when you throw a 1st or 2nd QB at the hands of the Patriots. That defense does nothing but eat them for lunch. Even then its still a close game. Both Wilson and Mac Jones have been carved up by both defenses. At 3-3 late in the game this slaughter deserves OT. Or so we think. HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! For many years it would be the Patriots offense that would bail them out in tough spots. Today its the special teams. I don’t care if there were multiple blocks in the back, the refs weren’t calling them because they wanted to get this game over with. Once again North Jersey falls to the might of Boston. I wonder how the Jets can make this worse. (Jets bench Zach Wilson, start Mike White vs Bears) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! This is why the ButtFumble narrative never dies Jets fans. Best team in a decade, still making the same mistakes. Wonderful! EXECUTE ORDER 66!
Panthers vs Ravens: I’m not surprised at what occurred in this game even if the Ravens won. This is what happens when you play 1 game in 24 days and get a few key guys back from injury. Thank god the defense is making everyone eat their words. (Salty Marylander in attendance + Baker Mayfield + Jerome Boger = Bizarre Game)
Cowboys vs Vikings: The Vikings. How many times are we going to see this? One week they make a statement against a team that is a legit contender, the next they go back to past reputation and get exposed badly. Today was a flashback to the 1970s. Winning an epic game to boost the hopes of their fanbase only to get exposed by the Doomsday Defense. Speaking of Dem Cowboys, that’s who went into US Bank and took everything that Skol Army possessed. The weak spot of Minnesota’s offense has been their O-Line for weeks. Look what happens, they play 2 of the best pass rushers in the league and get eaten up. As for their defense, Dak Prescott, Zeke, Tony Pollard, and others had no trouble against them. 40 points to be exact. This is the kind of game that Dallas had dreamed to have all season. Everything came together for them. And if that’s not enough, the atmosphere for their clash against the Giants on Thanksgiving just got crazier. The last thing everyone outside of Big D needs is for Jerry Jones to get his revenge on the media for roasting him for a quarter century. HOW BOUT DEM COWBOYS!?
Raiders vs Broncos: Another Tank Bowl where both teams don’t control their 1st Round pick. ITs also a battle to see who is the most pathetic team in the AFC West. Just like most games this season, the Broncos defense can’t bail out their offense. That’s what happens when you have no Offensive Line, and have banged up WRs. The Raiders have the same issue in the trenches yet all their skill players are injured. Denver may have a lead deep into the game, but Vegas wants to bring more pain to the Mile High City as they did in Week 4. You know what this game needs? Overtime! Because neither team wants this game to end in regulation. The Raiders got the ball first and went right to work. “Carr loads up, ADAMS IS OPEN! WALK OFF TOUCHDOWN! A SWEEP OF THE BRONCOS FOR LAS VEGAS!” (Man Joe Davis is on the rise as a play-by-play announcer) If you were to ask an average football fan who the most pathetic team in the AFC West is this year they’d all say the Raiders. NO! Denver just took that honor and took the whole thing with it. They could have their 1st Round pick that belongs to the Seahawks go in the Top 3! We may have 2 Herschel Walker trades in 1 year if the Watson Trade also blows up for the Browns. This is why you don’t trade your 1st Round pick boys!
Bengals vs Steelers: The Bungles. They need this win by any means necessary. If they lose their slim hopes of winning the AFC North are gone. Luckily for Cincinnati even if they are banged up, the Steelers haven’t capitalized on the opportunities this season. This game is the perfect representation of their season. Hype their fans up only to throw pumpkin pie in their faces. Even if TJ Watt is back and Kenny Pickett had a career day, the Yinzers must go home empty. That’s what happens when you rely on REFBALL and High End Talent to bail you out against Joe Burrow. He had his struggles early on, but in the end, he was able to put his team in a spot to win the game. The Bengals pass rush and receivers will do the rest. Even if they won I still have no idea how to judge Cincy. They are a good team, but can they make it far like last year? How is their schedule to end the year? BOOM! Well they are gonna need another miracle to get a home playoff game with the gauntlet they have coming up.
Chiefs vs Chargers: Every game between the Chiefs and Chargers especially in LA plays out the same. The stadium is dominated by Chiefs Kingdom, the Bolts do everything in their power to win, yet get schooled in the end by Patrick Mahomes. This year could be different. With their top receivers back, the Chargers got off to a fast start. But yet again, Kansas City needs to show them who’s boss. Even if the Chargers have more prime time games than anyone they for sure do a good job of teasing their fans. Look at how this game ends. They fumble the ball deep in Chiefs territory, yet get lucky because their opponents committed the same mistake. Oh you scored a TD with 90 seconds left. Too bad because the Bolts defense couldn’t stop Mahomes or Travis Kelce. Kansas City wins the game and basically locks up the AFC West. All the talk this offseason about how the Chargers plus the rest of the division would overtake the Chiefs. Well KC is laughing in everyone’s faces because Andy Reid coaches circles around everyone. The San Diego Special Everyone!
Cardinals vs 49ers: Hola Amigos! That’s right the NFL decided to extend their international series south of the American border. Arizona isn’t going to like it. Not only did they not get a home game at State Farm Stadium, Estadio Azteca was dominated by the Faithful of the Bay Area. San Francisco must reign supreme against the Cardinals. Yes Kyler Murray was injured but he wouldn’t have made a difference. George Kittle and Jimmy G had a field day against this sad sack of a defense. The 49ers did whatever they wanted not only on offense but on defense. Things got so bad for Arizona that Colt McCoy was knocked out of the game in favor of Penn State Legend Trace McSorley. Not even his famous TikTok song could save him on this night. With this game the Niners have caught up to Seattle atop the NFC West. Just like in the mid 2010s its going to be those two hated rivals fighting for a home playoff game while the other drowns themselves in whatever water their city is located in. UNLEASH THE CHAOS!
Bragging Rights Sports 