Charm City Beasts (Season 3) Episode 2: WHAAAAAAAAAAT!

(Omar Whistle/Warriors playing)………………………………………………………………….

Bragging Rights Sports Presents:

A Maryland Culture Production

“In 1996, they arrived in Baltimore away from an angry Dawg Pound. They have been criticized by many people outside of their city ever since their inception. Despite 2 championships and many Hall of Famers they get little respect. They get called names such as Murderer, Running Back, Hypocrite, Overrated, Soft, and others. But even if they are disrespected more than any team in the NFL the goal is still the same. Win the Lombardi Trophy. No one outside of the 410 cares about them, yet they work harder every single day. These boys have a swagger, and like to be pushed no matter what. We as Marylanders call them…………………………….”

CHARM CITY BEASTS

The Unrivaled Themed Story of the Baltimore Ravens

(It’s Never Pretty, It’s Never Perfect, BUT IT IS US!)

(XXXV, XLVII)

(BIG TRUZZ)

(THE TEAM, THE TEAM, THE TEAM)

Lamar Jackson, Mark Andrews, Justin Tucker, Marlon Humphrey, Marcus Peters, Rashod Bateman, JK Dobbins, Calais Campbell, Kyle Hamilton, John Harbaugh, Greg Roman, Mike Macdonald, Eric DeCosta, Sashi Brown, Steve Bisciotti, Edgar, Allan, with Poe, and the Salty Marylander/Narrator Michael Hession.

Location: M&T Bank Stadium Opponent: Miami Dolphins

(Season 3) Episode 2: WHAAAAAAAAAAT!

R-A-V-E-N-S RAVENS!

(7 Nation Army playing) Narrator: It feels good to be 1-0 doesn’t it? One week after a solid win against an up and coming Jets team thanks to defense, and timely passing, the Ravens are looking to build on their early momentum. Boy Wonder Johnny Harbaugh made it clear to the media that last week was a retooling of things especially on offense. Considering that many starters didn’t play in the preseason, plus they had to play on the road in bad weather, you can have that kind of game as long as you win. Prior to the Jets game, Ravens Assistant Coach Randy Brown told an inspiring story of what it means to play in New York on 9/11. One of Brown’s best friends many years ago was one of the Pilots on Flight 93, and he shared with them what it felt to live through a rough time like that. (Most of the younger players either weren’t born yet, or rarely alive) I’m with Randy on this. If I were alive during 9/11 I don’t know how I’d live through all of this especially if I had connections involved in New York, Shanksville, and Washington DC. This story as well as Harbaugh’s leadership was key to the Ravens positive spirit in their Week 1 win. The story of that game was the defense, especially the D-Line. They made Joe Flacco’s life a living hell, and not even adding Breece Hall, and Garrett Wilson could save him on this day. Despite many questions surrounding him outside of B-More, Mike Macdonald made an excellent 1st impression as Ravens Defensive Coordinator. Poe: Whistling (It felt like watching Michigan last year) Narrator: Poe, I’m with you. As expected Mike Man played it cool, he said that this was only the beginning. A season like this is going to be a grind, and when you have to play plenty of talented rosters, you better be ready. And that’s how the defense approached it. 

Another player that stood out on Sunday? Planet LJ. Despite ESPN still trying to figure out how much money the Ravens tried to offer him, (Looks like Dianna Russini and Adam Schefter are making up stories again) Lamar looked relaxed in particular in the 2nd Half. After shaking off some rust from not playing in the preseason, Jackson threw 3 TDs, all to his WRs. Allan: Whistling (Defenses will be in trouble if the wideouts and not Mark Andrews are roasting them) Narrator: Good observation Allan. When Mark Andrews is overlooked by Rashod Bateman, and Devin Duvernay, that’s not a good sign for defensive coordinators. Anyways, like most week’s win or lose, the media has chosen to target Planet LJ. This time the talking heads at ESPN claimed that Lamar should run the ball more. Edgar: Whistling (Didn’t they say that after Week 1 in 2019 and 2020?) Narrator: Edgar I was just gonna say that. When you throw for 3 touchdowns and look very comfortable, you don’t need to run 10 times a game as a QB. Although I wouldn’t be shocked if they ran him more next week. After the game, John Harbaugh was asked by the media about the field conditions at MetLife Stadium. Yes much of it was due to the weather consisting of heavy rain, but how can you explain how many injuries have occurred on that playing surface? (49ers fans will let you know about those conditions) Harbaugh claimed that the Jets may be using an AstroTurf type surface, which is rarely seen now in today’s sports world. The reasoning for criticizing the turf? CRACK! Ja’Wuan James and Kyle Fuller, 2 crucial depth pieces being placed on the season ending IR. Marylander (Heavy Metal Playing): WHAT IN THE PIGSKIN WORLD IS THIS!? (Sidevoice: I’m not leaving until every crack in this park is filled!) HOW MANY TIMES ARE WE GOING TO DEAL WITH SEASON ENDING INJURIES AND BAD FIELD CONDITIONS!? IS THIS MIAMI AND WASHINGTON AGAIN!? PAUSE.

Narrator: Normally me or the Salty Marylander would be all over Conditioning Coach Steve Saunders but here I won’t go hard. Saunders has changed the entire conditioning program this offseason to prevent injuries and so far it has worked. This year at this point of the season, the Ravens have had only 5 players on the IR compared to the 18 they had after Week 1 last year. They are making progress, but still losing 2 players who were expected to make impacts is hard, especially Fuller. The Ja’Wuan James injury is probably a career ender. Now I understand why JK Dobbins, Ronnie Stanley, Nick Boyle, and Marcus Peters were all inactive. It’s because the coaches didn’t want to risk them on such a brutal surface. Being at home next week will be a boost to try and get them back to 100%. Speaking of JK Dobbins, and Marcus Peters, they were full participants at practice all 3 days. Dobbins in particular is ancy to be out there for the Home Opener. The reasoning is because JK has never played at M&T Bank Stadium in front of a full 71,000 fan crowd. Remember his rookie year, all but 1 game had no fans, the only game with fans in attendance was Week 8 vs the Steelers. Peters on the other hand is also excited to be back in game action. In his case it’s because of a certain receiver he will have to guard this week. (He may know him from Kansas City early in his career) And with Kyle Fuller out for the rest of the year, they need Juiceman back and back badly. Luckily for Ravens fans, he is expected to be a go for gametime.

As for the game taking place on Sunday, it’s critical to the Boys in Purple. It’s against an up and coming team in the Miami Dolphins. A squad that embarrassed the Ravens down in South Beach last year thanks to a combination of a Sticky Sand blitz package, humid weather, playing on a short week, and dealing with horrible field conditions. This time the setting has changed. Now inside the warm confines of M&T Bank Stadium, the Ravens are looking to right a wrong after what happened the previous year. Luckily for Ravens fans, Baltimore has been kryptonite to the Dolphins. Miami has never won at M&T since it opened and hasn’t won in Charm City since 1997 when the 2 teams played at the old Memorial Stadium. The Dolphins QB and Coach that evening? Dan Marino and Jimmy Johnson. (That also doesn’t account for the 5-9 record that the Fish had at Memorial Stadium against the Baltimore Colts from 1970-83) This time Miami has Tua Tagovailoa and Mike McDaniel as their Coach and QB. This would be a day where emotions were high around The House that Ray Lewis Built. Prior to kickoff, the Ravens honored the late Tony Siragusa, and Jaylon Ferguson in an emotional pregame ceremony. If that wasn’t emotional enough it gets even crazier. Edgar, Allan. This is what you’ve been waiting for. The chance to take the field and cheer on the Ravens for the first time since 2007 while your little bro is recovering well and looking down from Steve Bisciotti’s skybox. Are you ready!? Allan: Whistling (Of course I am! BRING IT ON DOLPHINS!) Edgar: Whistling (I WAS BORN READY!) Narrator: Poe, what do you think? Are you ready to get the gang back together? Poe: Whistling (Edgar and Allan are the perfect guys to step in while I’m out. Just don’t get hurt. That’s all I ask) Narrator: That’s the heart of a champion right there. Poe: Whistling (Thanks buddy) Narrator: So at long last, to the roar of an excited crowd. Edgar, Allan, and the 2022 Baltimore Ravens. Greg Davis: “Let out by Raven Mascots Edgar and Allan. HERE! COME!! THE RAVENS!!! (Flares going skyward)

Narrator: With their outstanding reputation of winning the home opener (13-1 under Harbaugh and 7-0 vs non AFC North teams since 2005) being put to the test, the Ravens would try to come out strong in front of their raucous fans. At first they did. “Duvernay on the return to the 10, 15, 20, Duvernay to the open field…….. THEY’LL NEVER CATCH HIM! Devin Duvernay! Touchdown Baltimore!” What a way to kick start the home opener. It got better there, Marcus Williams for the 2nd game in a row showed out in a big way. He caught a juggling interception which wasn’t a bad read by Tua. Williams made a better play on the ball. After that the Boys in Purple went on an 18 play 9 minute drive. But in typical Greg Roman fashion they messed it up and got no points. (Don’t run 4 straight times against a top run defense) Yes REFBALL but Planet LJ was clearly short of the goal line. Miami took advantage thanks to 2 big plays to Jaylen Waddle, the 2nd resulted in a touchdown to tie the game. It’s ok because the Ravens got those points right back. Rashod Bateman for the 2nd week in a row, scored a big play touchdown. This one from 75 yards out. Poe: Whistling (My goodness the passing game is now a strength of the team.) You’re sure right Poe. The Ravens looked like they were in control of the game. Much of it is due to REFBALL against the Dolphins which killed off plenty of their drives in the 1st Half. That plus, their Sticky Sand package having no answers for Lamar and the Ravens passing game. The Boys in Purple jumped out to a 28-7 lead at halftime. Should be enough to win right? Well here’s the thing. They are playing against an offense that can score in bunches. Miami quickly attacked a zone scheme and cut the lead to 14 on a controversial TD by Mike Gesicki. (WE ARE!) Yes this should have been incomplete but this was a makeup call to another INT by Marcus Williams. It doesn’t matter as Planet LJ is on his way for a 79 yard touchdown run. Looks like we’re going to be 2-0 on this young season as. (Siren) Marylander: OH GOD WHATS THIS! Intercom: CODE RED! CODE RED! CODE RED! Edgar: Whistling (We’re under attack!) Allan: Whistling (QUICKLY HIDE!) PAUSE.

Narrator: Ok we’re in a safe spot, even if they break through no one can see us. Even if there is a robber in the building we’ll fight fire with fire. Poe: Whistling (Ok, it sounds like a plan) BOOM! (35-21 as Tua throws 3rd TD) Narrator: We are definitely under attack. This is not good. Allan: Whistling (Maybe it’s just someone knocking on doors loudly.) (Ravens fail 4th and 1) Marylander: ALLAN THERE IS A ROBBERY THREAT IN THE BUILDING! (Tyreek Hill comes back and scores a 45 yard TD) “May I have your attention please, a fire emergency has occurred in the building. Please evacuate by your nearest exit.” Narrator: Now the whole building is on fire, we gotta get out of here. Edgar: Whistling (Don’t go near the door) CRASH! Marylander: A Penguin riding a Cheetah, what is this? Cheetah: GROWL! Whole Cast: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! (Dolphins tie the score at 35 with 6 minutes left) Narrator: SOMEONE STOP THIS! Poe: Whistling (MY KNEE!) Narrator: GET EM EDGAR! Edgar: Whistling (Don’t you mess with my friends! Or I’ll kill you with a knife!) Cheetah: AAAAAAAAH! CRASH! (Ravens regain lead at 38-35) Allan: Whistling (Oh we’re safe, thank god.) SPLASH! Marylander: Why is the whole room filled with salt water? SPLASH! Devil Dolphins: EEEEEEEEEEC! Whole Cast: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! Marylander: WHYYYYYYYYYYY! (Ravens blow 21 point 4th Quarter lead at home to Dolphins) PAUSE.

Narrator: How can I explain what just happened? The Ravens had that game all but won, and they gave up 28 4th Quarter points. That ties a franchise record set in 1997 against the Steelers and Kordell Stewart. (“You trying to catch Slash. You may as well wait for Queen Elizabeth to dock in your backyard!” -Myron Cope) This game has given me one conclusion. The Ravens defense cannot defend offenses that have world class speed. It’s not just this game. This is exactly why they’ve struggled against Kansas City the past few years. This is why they lost the 2008 and 2010 AFC Championships in Pittsburgh. This is why they couldn’t beat Peyton Manning and the Colts. And this is why they couldn’t beat Jacksonville in the late 1990s. This is not an issue with Mike Macdonald. You could have thrown the 2000 and 2006 Raven defenses in there, and they still would have struggled. Everyone is going to call me crazy for saying that but here’s the thing. What was their worst game defensively in each of those seasons? GAMES AGAINST SPEED BASED OFFENSES! In 2000 they gave up ⅓ of their points that season to the Jaguars who scored 36 and 24 points against them in 2 games because Chris McAlister couldn’t cover Jimmy Smith. In 2006 they blew a 20-0 halftime lead at home against Carolina which was also a speed based offense. This caused Rex Ryan to call out Mike Man on GetUp the following day. Let me be clear. Rex Ryan was in the same situation himself as Defensive Coordinator back in 2007! He single handedly got Brian Billick out of a job thanks to terrible play calling and defensive schemes. Think about playing prevent defense against Derek Anderson and the Browns when they needed only 30 yards for a field goal. Calling a timeout against the Patriots which ultimately cost the Ravens a goal line stand and ending New England’s undefeated season. Losing to 0-13 Miami Dolphins because he was literally out of cornerbacks, and couldn’t stop the worst offense in the NFL. The piece de resistance. Blowing a 24-3 lead in the 4th Quarter in Week 17 against a Steelers team starting Charlie Batch while Big Ben was resting up for the playoffs. Rexy should have been fired right there, but nope they extended him the previous offseason, and if they got rid of him, it would have ticked off Ray Lewis. Then everyone is going to say that Marvin Lewis never had this problem. WRONG! The Ravens defense the 1st 3 years under Marvin was the worst in the NFL by a wide margin. Of their 31 losses from 1996-98 they blew 4th Quarter leads in 18 of those losses. (That and Ted Marchibroda being unable to adapt to the modern offense) The only reason his job was saved was because of Rod Woodson signing with the team in 1998. Woodson to me is the man that changed the culture of the Ravens, not Ray Lewis. Ray was already there, they just needed a veteran leader on defense who knew how to win. (Shannon Sharpe was that to the offense) The Ravens may lack that in some ways, but the emotional leader of their defense in Marcus Peters just came back. CRACK! And he got injured late in the game. Luckily he’ll go by next week but still.

I know the fanbase wants John Harbaugh chucked into the Inner Harbor but let me be clear. Most of this was out of his control. The reason Miami came back was because the defense was out of cornerbacks and pass rushers, as well as their scheme failing due to the High End Talent of their opponent. I know everyone is calling out Mike Man for running man-man at the end of the game instead of zone but here’s the thing. Everything they tried in the 2nd Half failed. EVERYTHING! This is what happens when you play the fastest receiving duo in NFL History who are both Top 10 receivers. And if you have rookies and practice squad players guarding them due to injuries, there’s a good chance you’ll suffer. (Like I said, same thing that happened against the Chiefs) I can’t even blame this on Greg Roman. He called one of the best games he’s ever called in his career. Yes the 4th and 1 decisions were questionable, but the 2nd one they had no choice but to go for it. I know everyone would say kick the field goal. That was not an option. We have Justin Tucker sure but trying a 58 yard field goal, on grass, and against the wind is a death sentence no matter how good the kicker is. The 4th and Goal play. Right call, bad execution. The coaching staff may be outdated thanks to many fans but here’s the thing. They’re not the problem. The problem is ONCE AGAIN Steve Saunders. The fact that this man still has a job after another instance of where the defense ran out of corners and pass rushers after an entire offseason devoted to preventing injuries is insulting. He has learned nothing from his time in San Francisco during the Jim Harbaugh years. It seems like everywhere he goes, Greg Roman goes with him. Also why did they hire Adrian Dixon? That man was a big reason for all of the injuries coming out of Tennessee last year? Did they not see how he and the rest of the Titans training staff potentially ruined Derrick Henry’s prime? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!? Although to be fair Brian Billick would have done the same thing Harbaugh did with the training staff. I swear both Harbs as well as the guy he replaced only hire their friends and sometimes are frustrating to watch. They should make a change but this is not how life works around Steve Bisciotti. He isn’t a fan of change. Why would he be? The Ravens have a Super Bowl window that most teams would dream to have. And one bad contract, trade or move to the coaching staff could ruin it.

I didn’t get to the most depressing part of this. The Ravens didn’t even have the biggest choke in their own city over the weekend. The winner of that honor can be described with 3 words. “SWING AND A DRIVE! GET UP! GET UP! VLADDY JR HAS DONE IT AGAIN!” The Baltimore Orioles. Not only did they blow 2 separate leads in the 8th and 9th innings against the arch rival Blue Jays, this was also to complete a sweep. Now 8 games out of a Wild Card spot, the Cinderella Story coming out of Camden Yards is probably over. (1989, and 1992 all over again) Here’s what makes this even worse. The O’s did this on an International Stage! And worse it’s against Toronto, FREAKING TORONTO! (I did cover the Blue Jays in 2016, so I should be more light) The one team that the Orioles can’t beat during their Cinderella runs. The one boogeyman that has haunted this franchise for 35 years! And they got knocked out just like they did during Cal Ripken’s prime. (Not to mention they still have to play the Yankees and Astros) A rough weekend isn’t it! In the Ravens case, this shouldn’t be as big of a deal as the fans are making it. A game like this happens to the Boys in Purple EVERY SINGLE YEAR! And usually the next week, they make a statement. This was the game they needed to take a commanding lead in the division. Now it gets harder. Next week is against the rival Patriots, they should win the game, but they have never won in Foxborough during the regular season. And after that, Buffalo, although it’s at home the Ravens haven’t won at M&T since Blackout Weekend a year ago. (Which is the longest home losing streak in franchise history) They cannot afford to be 1-3 going into that Bengals game in Week 5. But to be fair, this is a team that laid an egg like this in 2012 against the Dream Team Eagles yet beat Tom Brady and the Pats the next week. I wouldn’t be shocked if they did the same to BillsMafia. As they say in Hairspray. I know we’ve come so far but we’ve got so far to go. I know the road seems long but it won’t be long till it’s time to go. That’s the mentality the Ravens should use. This is their last chance before Cap Hell next offseason. And they know it. In the end I’m glad we’re dealing with this now rather than in November or December. A loss like this only makes a team stronger. Anyways, how did the rest of the AFC North do this week? (DRAMATIC MUSIC!) (Browns/Bengals/Ravens/Steelers all suffer late game collapses) Whole Cast: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Well the Ravens are still the best team in the division I guess) PAUSE.