Marylander: I told you, I told you! I (CENSORED!) TOLD YOU! The Bengals good karma and Cinderella Story was about to strike midnight. And guess what it did! All you talking heads at ESPN and Fox Sports made the same mistake that you made last year. Last year you claimed; “OMG, The Buccaneers are about to get blown out of their own stadium, Patrick Mahomes is the greatest, the Chiefs are the best team EVER!” TOO BAD BECAUSE YOU ALL OVERLOOKED THE GOAT! This year was just as annoying. “OMG, Joe Burrow is the next Brady, he is the best QB in football, the Bengals are about to become the next dynasty in the NFL!” This is why you don’t make early predictions unless you are biased. Burrow was being hailed as the savior of football thanks to being carried by his defense, receiving core and the opposing teams shooting themselves in the foot. It’s not just the playoffs, the entire regular season was like this. Their whole division was basically deadmen walking by Christmas, it featured Big Ben, Baker, and LJ all getting injured or declining. It featured the Ravens who had the most injuries in league history, the Browns without a majority of their top weapons on offense, OBJ becoming PK Subban, and the Steelers hanging on for dear life. Plus 5 of their 10 were by 7 points or fewer, and each of their 3 playoff wins were decided by the opposing team self-destructing.
Look at them. Derek Carr went for a spike on 1st and Goal instead of running a play with all of the momentum. It led to the game losing interception which cost the Raiders the game. The Titans were quite possibly the worst #1 seed since their fluke run in 2008. Plus Mike Vrabel went from Nashville Savior to shooting his team in the foot because of analytics, bad play calling, and Ryan Tannehill being a turnover chef. They literally handed Cincinnati the game with less than a minute to go with an interception. (Good luck paying Tannehill, Julio, Henry, and AJ) The Chiefs game was the ultimate lucky scenario. Kansas City had this game on cruise control by halftime, and they got way too cocky. Aggressive shots down the field, not running the ball, and Full Reid. Joe Burrow was being hailed as the main reason they won those 3 games when in reality it was because they got lucky since all 3 teams they played imploded in quite possibly the most devastating playoff loss in their history. (Even Walker Hayes’ Applebees TikTok joined in on the fun)
Then came the Super Bowl against the Los Angeles Rams. Oh boy. Does this game lay the Bungles flaws. They like the Titans game that got destroyed by the Rams Front 7. They gave up a Super Bowl record 8 sacks. Even worse Joe Burrow suffered quite possibly another horrific knee injury. (Too soon to tell how bad it is) This game also featured another element that was in the Bengals favor all year. (DRAMATIC MUSIC!) REFBALL! Do you remember how Chiefs fans were moaning about the officials last year, you’re in their shoes Cincy. You guys like them had the least penalties and perhaps the fewest injuries in football. But in the Super Bowl, THROW ALL OF THOSE THINGS OUT THE WINDOW! They got penalized on 2 of the biggest plays in team history. Logan Wilson broke up a key pass late in the game on 3rd Down to make his claim for MVP, “Prior to the pass, holding, Defense #55.” What happened on the very next play? “Pass interference, Defense #20.” Yep him, and the internet sensation Eli Apple got called for 2 questionable penalties. And here is why you can’t moan about them Bungles. Because you scored a 75 TD thanks to Tee Higgins grabbing Jalen Ramsey’s facemask. If you want to win this game I have one request. DON’T STALL OUT ON EVERY DRIVE IN THE 2ND HALF EXCLUDING THE 1ST PLAY TO HIGGINS! Was it the officials fault that you lost of course not! Don’t keep making excuses about how the NFL wanted the Rams to win because of Kroenke, and LA, and all of the other nonsense there is. You deserved this loss Cincinnati! As a rival I beg you Mike Brown, please get Gronk and Jefferson instead of lineman. Pretend that Burrow needs more weapons instead of line help. Even if you have 55 million in Cap Space plus are ahead of schedule this may have been your shot! Why? Bruce Cunningham: Now Ladies and Gentlemen, HERE! COME! THE RAVENS!!!
Marylander: (U2s Where The Streets Have No Name playing) That’s right. The team that you roasted and broadcast booth your fans climbed into is roasting you on Twitter for losing to a team that their practice squad almost beat in Week 17. Who cares if you beat them twice this year they like Cleveland and Pittsburgh and other AFC Contenders weren’t healthy at all. This kind of luck won’t win you the AFC again if the rest of the conference is healthy. Heck it won’t even win you the division. I’m going to ask all of you this question. Will Joe Burrow be the next Montana or the next Marino? I think this may have been their chance. The AFC, especially their division, is loaded. Look at the QBs in the AFC. Mahomes, Jackson, Allen, Herbert, Tannehill, Jones, possibly Rodgers, possibly Pickett, and possibly Watson. That’s not including Derek Carr, Baker Mayfield, Carson Wentz and maybe Trevor Lawrence. (All 4 have question marks, maybe not Carr) I would feel optimistic about the Bengals chances if they weren’t in the AFC since the NFC is wide open. The NFC has 2 tank divisions, possibly 3 if Rodgers leaves Green Bay. As for the Rams they finally have the championship that LA has been missing since 1951. (Their 2nd Super Bowl in team history, 1st was in 1999 when they were in St Louis) Matthew Stafford gets his 1st ring in what could be a Hall of Fame career, Aaron Donald may have just gone out on top, Sean McVay completes the Ash Ketchup arc and gets redemption for 2018, OBJ gets his 1st ring despite an ACL tear. (All of Cleveland is salty) Andrew Whitworth, and Eric Weddle may have just gone out into the sunset with championships. Even if Stan Kroenke is a champion, there is good news for me today. Why? Because the Bengals lost. There will be no salt mine in Baltimore. You wanna know something. (Do it Again by Pia Mia, Tygo and Chris Brown playing) That’s it for you Cincinnati because next year the RAVENS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (Inject the Super Bowl flashbacks, 10th Anniversary sequel and Ray’s Last Ride memories from the playoffs in my mind right (censored) now) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Poe: WHISTLING (We are taking back the AFC North next season) PAUSE.
Bragging Rights Sports 