November 17, 2013: BOOM! “Welcome back to Chicago, as you can see we are now in a weather delay due to a possible Tornado warning around Soldier Field, we’ll update you about the information as soon as we can.” Narrator: Wow, it’s been 8 years since a delay that rivals the power outage at Super Bowl XLVII. Just like in the big game the Ravens held another 17+ point lead going into the stoppage, but this time they couldn’t hold it as the game resumed. Da Bears scored 20 unanswered points and eventually won the game in OT. What began as an uncharacteristically warm 65 degree overcast day in the Windy City, ended in a frigid outcome that perfectly symbolizes how much the temperature dropped during this game. Hopefully we don’t get the same outcome following that embarrassment last week in Miami.
CHARM CITY BEASTS
Starring Lamar Jackson, Marquise Brown, Mark Andrews, Bradley Bozeman, Nick Boyle, Calais Campbell, Marlon Humphrey, Justin Tucker, John Harbaugh, with Don Martindale, and Eric DeCosta. Guest Appearances by the Salty Marylander, and the President of Abearica Hiei 2K7
Season 2 Episode 10: Bear Necessities
Created by Bragging Rights Sports
Narrator: Things are looking shaky for the Boys in Purple. After a strong 1st 8 games, uncertainty has popped up after an embarrassing loss to the Dolphins on Thursday Night. One of them involves the defense. They did their part for much of this game however another busted coverage was key to Miami winning the game. The Wink said in his weekly press conference that these issues have to stop immediately. We have talent on defense, but we can’t make stupid plays every week. I totally agree with him. The defense’s biggest issues are themselves. If they can communicate, they should be back in 2018 form. Much of the heat was also taken on the Roman Empire. After not being able to adjust to that Sticky Sand blitz, the 1st thing he told Lamar at team meetings that Monday was that all we are doing this week in drills is preparing for that blitz. They better come back better after what happened last week. Speaking of Planet LJ he had his jersey number retired this past weekend by The University of Louisville. He became the 2nd player from his old college to have his jersey retired. The other just happened to be Johnny Unitas. (He had a statue outside of M&T Bank Stadium too) Maybe a homecoming trip influences the QB1 to dominate the rest of the season. There would be a roadblock in the path of Jackson’s MVP season. He ONCE AGAIN was dealing with a non COVID related cold. (I happen to have the same symptoms right now just typing this) When he spoke to the media, Lamar felt much better than he did on Wednesday and Thursday. He however was put back on the injured list on Saturday but still had a 50-50 chance to play this week. What is Planet LJ’s fate? (YoYo Sound) Inactive! Marylander: OH COME ON! HOW MANY ROADBLOCKS ARE WE GETTING THIS YEAR BECAUSE OF INJURIES AND HEALTH!? HARBS PLEASE GET SAUNDERS OUT OF THE BUILDING! PAUSE.
It’s going to be even more of a hurdle to win this week now, not just of the absence of Jackson, but Le’Veon Bell getting cut (he will be back on the Practice Squad soon) and Hollywood being inactive too. Fortunately for Boy Wonder Johnny Harbaugh and the rest of the Boys in Purple they get to face another team stuck in mediocrity. The Chicago Bears. A team that has lost 4 straight games and can’t tank because their 1st Round pick is Giants Property. Not to mention Khalil Mack and Eddie Jackson are out long term. This should be an easy win even without Lamar but the Bears have been the definition of torture to Baltimore. The Ravens have not won against Da Monsters of the Midway since 2009 and Harbaugh has been snakebitten against them. The main connection? The Bears have gotten incredibly lucky when they have beaten the Ravens. The ghosts of the Tornado Game, Jordan Howard, and Josh McCown have haunted the Marylanders and eventually cost them playoff spots in each of those years.
Early in this game it would be sloppy on both sides. The Ravens O-Line couldn’t block a cold as Tyler Huntley kept getting pounded to the turf by the Chicago front 7. Maybe cutting Le’Veon wasn’t such a good idea when it comes to passing blocking. It’s ok because Wink Martindale made it clear that Justin Fields wasn’t going to do anything against an injury riddled Baltimore defense. The only things helping the Ravens were that Justin Tucker wasn’t going to let the wind of a stadium consume him like last year in Buffalo. Even when the Bears had momentum it would be halted because of an Offensive Line breakdown or Calais Campbell winning an Academy Award for the best flopp of the NFL season so far. At halftime Baltimore led 6-0 even if Huntley was starting to get settled in. Defense, listen to me, don’t have the possibility of a backup QB beating you for the 2nd week in a row, beat up Fields but not too much. CRACK! Marylander: Oh NO! DID THEY NOT LEARN FROM MIAMI LAST THURSDAY! Now they get to face the RED RIFLE! OH PAUSE.
Narrator: Andy Dalton, a man who Ravens fans have known for basically a decade. He has had a 4th and 12 as well as a last second Hail Mary against the Ravens since 2013. Let’s see how he does this time? A TD off a 2 play drive, don’t tell me we are losing to a backup QB for the 2nd week in a row. Marylander: Is this Charlie Batch and Bruce Gradkowski AGAIN! Narrator: Even after the Bears took the lead Huntley would try to answer right back, but there was another figure from the 4th and 12 game that they had to deal with shortly. Marylander: SEAN SMITH! That guy has been a total thorn in the Ravens fans side over the last 5 years! Narrator: I agree because he was the ref in the 4th and 12, the Cleveland game in Week 17 in 2018 where he almost gave the Steelers the AFC North off of bad calls, and Baltimore nearly blew a 22 point lead in Philadelphia last year. And now they had 3 holding penalties in a row. Marylander: This guy must be a Steelers or Browns fan! Narrator: Not to mention Huntley threw an interception at the beginning of the 4th Quarter because Tashawn Gibson ripped the ball away from Mark Andrews when he was clearly down. Even if that was ruled a catch by Baltimore it would have been called back because YOU GUESSED IT there was a holding call against the Army Ranger. It’s ok because the offense finally were able to get points on the board with 3 minutes left as JT kicked his 3rd field goal of the game. Leading 9-7 there should be no reason why the Red Rifle is going to beat us again! PAUSE.
ALRIGHT THEY ARE DOWN TO A 4TH AND 12! THERE SHOULD BE NO DRAMA UNLIKE 2017! “Dalton under pressure, he throws it deep for Goodwin and he HAS IT TOUCHDOWN BEARS!” (Fire Alarm) Marylander: OH MY GOD! DALTON JUST BURNED US ON 4TH AND 12 AGAIN!!! SOMEBODY STOP THIS! Narrator: You may be right, there may be no way we are going to win now, Huntley has not scored a TD all day long. BEEP! OOOH! Sean Smith hasn’t robbed the Ravens yet, they gave them a 25 yard play thanks to a PI call. BUZZER. Just as I say that they get called for a potential game losing penalty. However there is nothing to be afraid of because Marylander: OF THE HIGH END TALENT! HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! Narrator: Once again the Ravens get bailed out by talent and now take the lead as Devonta Freeman did what Ray Rice couldn’t at the end of the Tornado Game. Score the potential game winning touchdown. Marylander: TAKE 2! THEY ARE DOWN TO THEIR FINAL STRIKE AGAIN! SOMEONE MAKE A PLAY! “The Ravens bring 4, Dalton throws, he is under pressure and held up by Tyus Bowser and this game is over.” Narrator: Thank goodness this game is over! The Ravens are now 7-3, and they still lead the AFC North. What a time to be alive. PAUSE.
For a further analysis of this game as well as this season has been so far in Chicago we go to a Bears fan who is ready to rage on Matt Nagy yet again.
Hiei 2K7 (From 9-28-21): “Matt Nagy, let me introduce you to a little website, if you’re out there I want you to go to ides.illinois.gov. That is where your next opportunity is going to be if you go to that website. Ides.illinois.gov. And for those of you who have never lived in the state of Illinois. That’s the website for the ILLINOIS DEPARTMENT OF EMPLOYMENT SERVICES! AND YOU’RE (Sensored) FIRED!! I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU IN CHICAGO OR LAKE FOREST OR THE STATE OF ILLINOIS EVER AGAIN!!!” Narrator: Wow! That’s cold. But anyways that was a gutsy win to maintain 1st place in the AFC North. And even better, the Ravens now have the 2nd seed in the AFC. Yes they may be ugly and uninspiring at times but we need to believe in our football team. To close out this show the Marylander has a skit from the Jungle Book about the outcome of this game that he would like to recite. Take it away.
Marylander: Oh there’s gonna be some Bear Necessities, the glories of being 7-3. Forget about that bad game Thursday Night. I hear the Bear Necessities, we roast Sean Smith and Nagy. The Bears can’t tank cuz their 1st Round pick is gone. YEAAAAAAAAAH!
Bragging Rights Sports 