Ravens Productions: “Believe in nothing you hear, and half of what you see. Here lies the hopes, dreams, and anchors of the unwaken. Here resides the supernatural. We are dreaming dreams no mortal has dared to dream before. We are the fantastic terrors never felt before. WE HAVE EXORCISED THE DOUBTERS AND DEMONS! With a team that works in the darkness. With an unkindness that has grown deafening. HERE RESIDES THE MOST FRIGHTENING TEAM IN THE LEAGUE! If that scares you, THAN YOU BETTER WHISTLE PAST THIS GRAVEYARD!” Football Gods: You’re going to regret what you just said!
CHARM CITY BEASTS
Starring Lamar Jackson, Le’Veon Bell, Marquise Brown, Mark Andrews, Rashod Bateman, Calais Campbell, Josh Bynes, Marlon Humphrey, Justin Tucker, John Harbaugh, Don Martindale, with Greg Roman, and Eric DeCosta. Guest Appearances by the “Salty Marylander”
Season 2 Episode 7: The Reincarnation of a Legendary Mutiny
Created b Bragging Rights Sports
Narrator: Who would have thought that the Ravens would be 5-1 at this point despite having 17 players on IR. The next victim to this cause would be their All Pro Tackle Ronnie Stanley. CRACK! Turns out his ankle isn’t in the right place and he needs surgery again. Going through the Tavon Young process I see. With the trade deadline approaching Eric DeCosta claims that the Ravens will make a shuffling of moves. 1 or 2 of their 4 RB’s will most likely be traded for defensive value especially at linebacker and he states that we need to be markedly better on the defensive side of the ball if we want to really win it all. During their victory against the Chargers last week the defense got a huge boost from Josh Bynes now in his 3rd stint with the team. Now with Patrick Queen moving from MIKE Linebacker to WILL Linebacker it should provide some breathing room for the defense. Even for his lack of passing last week, Planet LJ still did enough to win by taking advantage of the Chargers soft run defense. He says that we need to keep teams guessing by mixing things up on offense. The right way to look at this if you look at this game closely. For the 1st time in a long time the media had jumped on the Ravens hype train except they all claimed it would be short term. It’s because there is another hype machine on the horizon. The talking heads at ESPN not named Foxworth, Ryan, and Scott still believe that Baltimore needs to prove that they can dominate a game on both sides long term. To be honest I don’t blame them for saying that, considering how bumpy this season has been for the Ravens it seems like anything can happen and usually does.
The Ravens are going to have to play short handed in the Running Back room this week. Latavius Murray injured his calf in the win over the Bolts and is going to miss the next game. Luckily for them there was good news as both Derek Wolfe and Nick Boyle were back practicing this week. Both of them should be 100% after the Bye Week. Baltimore fans tried to bring back their beloved emotional leader Mark Ingram but he was traded back to his original team in the Saints. (Maybe they can sign Keleche Osemele instead) All jokes aside today’s matchup is against a team that Lamar Jackson has consistently beaten over his career. THE BUNGLES! Winners of 5 straight against their adversaries the Boys in Purple take the field with a chance to possibly run away with the AFC North. Cincinnati has other plans, they are off to a hot start of 4-2 and a win at M&T would solidify them as a Super Bowl Contender along with their opponents for this game. (Cincy should really be 6-0 if it weren’t for missed FGs) Early on the defenses for both sides went to work. Both the Bengals front 7 and the Ravens secondary traded blows as either offense could get anything going. The Ravens once again, like they did against the Raiders in Week 1, had no answers for speed rushers as Trey Hendricksen and Sam Hubbard toyed with the Army Ranger and Pat Mekari. CRACK! And then Mekari hurt his ankle and had to leave the game. (Thank goodness that wasn’t a season ender) With the game tied at 3 the question at the time was who was going to break through and get the 1st TD of the game. That happened to be the Bengals, as Joe Burrow took advantage of an all out blitz by Martindale and threw a tasty spiral to CJ Uzomah as he burned Fruit Punch into the endzone. (Marlon Humphrey getting burned, that never happens) Jackson and company would respond as they took precious time off the clock and went down the field to tie the game at 10. Even as Cincinnati kicks a field goal for a 3 point lead there is still hope for the Marylanders. That hope was taken to another level as Marquise Brown burned the Bungles secondary and gave Baltimore their 1st lead of the game. This looks like it would be another lesson taught by John Harbaugh on how to beat a division rival.
(DRAMATIC MUSIC!) Marylander: Don’t tell me this is the successor to the 2012 Mutiny against the Texans! Narrator: In just 4 plays the Tiger King takes advantage of Rob Ryan being knee jerk to his linebackers as CJ Uzomah took advantage of 4 guys playing the flat as he walked into the endzone to retake the lead for Cincinnati. As soon as that happened, Action Jackson and Rashod Bateman continued to torch the secondary as the Ravens got back into field goal range. Marylander: It looks like we are going to have a tie game or take the lead again! BOOM! They got sacked and had to punt! Oh dear gosh, somebody please play some defense. Narrator: Luckily for the fans in the stadium the Ravens defense got Burrow into a 3rd and long, all they need is one play and, Marylander: (Welcome to the Jungle playing) HOW THE (Sensored) CAN NOBODY ON THIS DEFENSE TACKLE JAMARR CHASE!? HOW DOES CHUCK CLARK AND MARLO MISS A TACKLE LIKE THAT! CAN WE SOMEHOW NOT GIVE UP 3 STRAIGHT BIG PLAY TOUCHDOWNS IN A ROW TO LOSE BY 24 POINTS IN A GAME WE SHOULD HAVE DOMINATED FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE 2ND HALF! THIS IS THE WORST DEFENSE WE HAVE HAD SINCE 2012! HOW IN THE WORLD ARE WE GOING TO SOLVE OUR TACKLING ISSUES! Narrator: Calm down buddy, it’s only 1 game and the Bengals look like Worldbeaters right now. Marylander: Yes I understand. PAUSE.
Narrator: Just like 2012 the Ravens start out 5-1 and get killed in Week 7 by a playoff and dark horse Super Bowl Contender. It mostly has nothing to do with Lamar; he played well considering that no one was helping him other than his receivers. The reasons why they lost were because the Offensive Line is cooked, and the defense needs a wake up call badly. Remember this isn’t the 1st time in franchise history that they have had to go through this. During their Super Bowl year in 2012 they had a similar start where they had the same record through 7 games and were getting bailed out by Joe Flacco on a weekly basis. That year because of injuries they lost their 2 Starting Corners by Week 6 (Dominique Foxworth and LaDarius Webb), their marque FA signing in Week 2 (Marcus Spears), they lost Ricky Williams in training camp, Ray Lewis missed the last 10 games, Ed Reed missed 6 of 8 in the 2nd Half, Anquan Boldin missed 4 games from Week 4 to Week 9, Haloti Ngata wasn’t consistently healthy, and Terrell Suggs was fighting a torn achilles. Plus that year in Weeks 1-7 they almost lost to the 2-14 Chiefs, the 4-12 Browns, and got lucky against the Patriots and Cowboys while losing to the “Dream Team” Eagles. Many pundits around the country now and in 2012 said that they had no chance of catching the Bengals or Steelers in the division. In the 2nd Half of this game against the Bengals they were outscored by almost the same amount of points that they allowed in the 2nd Quarter against Houston in 2012. (Texans 29 – Bengals 28. Both in Week 7)
And wouldn’t you guess it, there was another mutiny after the game. Harbaugh responded to that claim by saying we are not going to give up easily. It’s only October but there is still time to fix this mess. Having no answers for an offense that is equivalent to Randy Moss and the 1998 Vikings will drive any coaching staff and DC crazy. (Ja’Marr Chase is Moss 2.0 except he is much smaller) They better get somebody at the deadline to help this cause but considering their Cap Situation I don’t know if they can pull it off. The tough part about this loss is that the questions surrounding the playstyle of this team have returned. Not a claim by ESPN that is going to drive all of the Marylanders crazy. Marylander: HOW DARE THEY CLAIM WE HAVE NO CHANCE AT WINNING THE DIVISION OR MAKING THE PLAYOFF! IT’S THE SAME THING THEY SAID 9 YEARS AND THEY ATE THEIR WORDS IN FEBRUARY! Narrator: I don’t remember them saying that, I do remember them saying that we are about to get leapfrogged by a division rival. Marylander: Who’s going to leapfrog us next according to the mothership? Narrator: CLEVELAND! Marylander: (Heavy Metal music playing) SEND THOSE TALKING HEADS INTO THE INNER HARBOR!!! (The Browns and Bengals ruling the North is the New Frontier. NOT IN BALTIMORE IT ISN’T!) PAUSE.
Narrator: Before we wrap up this episode I want to go over a situation that should never occur in a sporting event let alone an NFL game. At the end of the Ravens Bengals game, we witnessed a scene that should never be tried again. At the 2 minute warning, 2 Bengals fans sitting near the Verizon Broadcast Booth at M&T Bank Stadium (That is the Ravens booth for WBAL) got out of their seats. Instead of heading towards the exit, they instead tried climbing into the booth while the game was on a TV timeout. (One guy had a Chase Jersey, the other had an Ochocinco Jersey) They successfully got into the booth, and they started taunting Gerry Sandusky, and the Ravens broadcast team until the security had to escort them out of the stadium. They said things like “The Ravens suck” “Lamar is a RB!” and “WE OWN BALTIMORE! (Sensored)” before the Guest Service committee captured them. This is also a red flag on top of the fact that Eli Apple and Jermaine Pratt were mocking Lamar Jackson’s Big Truss motto and Pratt even said with Apple in the background “WE RUN THIS DIVISION UNTIL WE SAY SO!” Let me be very very clear. This franchise did the exact same thing in 2005 when they upset the Steelers at Heinz Field in Week 13. TJ Houshmandzadeh after that game whipped his cleats with the Terrible Towel in celebration. But what happened the next time the 2 teams met? “CARSON PALMER IS DOWN!” Cincinnati, enjoy this win. You earned it. But I’m warning you, the way you guys rubbed this game in the face of every Ravens player, coach, front office member, and all of the Marylanders may come back to haunt you over Christmas when the 2 teams meet up again!
Bragging Rights Sports 