Buccaneers vs Eagles: This game is a sequence where the Eagles who should embrace trying to potentially have 3 Top 15 picks do everything they can to win. Not just because to keep pace with the Cowboys in their division, but since they are facing an old rival of theirs that they bested when he was in New England. This time however Tom Brady did what he needed to do to win. It was mostly thanks to Antonio Brown and Leonard Fournette. Even if the Eagles came back in the 2nd Half, the refs did everything they could for the Buccaneers to win. If I’m the Bucs I don’t know how to feel about a win like this. I know they are 5-1 but it didn’t feel like a statement against a team with no direction. I won’t count on this for long.
Dolphins vs Jaguars: You know what’s better than a Tank Bowl? A BRITISH TANK BOWL! (Roundball Rock playing) With Tua back in the lineup for the Dolphins this should be the moment where Miami gets back on track. Early in this game that was the case. The Dolphins took a 13-3 lead despite blowing many chances to put this game out of reach by halftime. The missed opportunities that killed Brian Flores and his team will not come back to bite them! BOOM! WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON!? Trevor Lawrence despite his early struggles in this game leads the Jags to 14 straight points as they take the lead. Even as the game eventually was tied up, Miami had a chance to save their season with a game winning drive. Going for it on 4th and 1 in your own territory is a bold call and where does the wheel land? (YoYo Sound) SHORT OF THE LINE TO GAIN! Even more insane Jacksonville got into field goal range and can end their 20 game losing streak. “The kick looks good! JACKSONVILLE HAS WON!” Dolphins remember when you guys beat the Ravens in epic fashion in 2007 for your only win? (That game was the reason why Brian Billick’s contract wasn’t renewed) NOW YOU KNOW WHAT US MARYLANDERS FEEL LIKE! How in the love of Billy Goats do you lose to the Jaguars? Just bring out the Tanks for crying out loud! They can’t! THEY’RE 1ST ROUND PICK BELONGS TO PHILADELPHIA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (And now they want Deshawn Watson to save their season, you’re DOOMED!)
Packers vs Bears: There is nothing that pleases the state of Wisconsin more than beating the living daylight out of Chicago. This game proves why that statement is true. Even with the Bears taking an early lead the Packers will storm back. And they did. Justin Fields had problems all day long once Da Bears fell behind. Any team that has to face the front 7 of Green Bay that has no O-Line is in for a long day. Then Aaron Rodgers did the one thing that Bears fans love to hate. “Discount DAAAABLECHECK!” “I own this BEEP! Stadium.” Rodgers you aren’t the only Wisconsin icon that owns a Chicago team, I think the star on the team you partially own would claim that too with the Bulls. The Packers are now 5-1 and should be a lock for the NFC North. Bears you get Tampa Bay next week, not liking your chances.
Bengals vs Lions: The Bengals continue their soft early season schedule against perhaps the worst team in football in the Lions. Unlike the Ravens, they learned from their mistakes of perhaps playing down to their competition and put together a statement. Detroit had no answers for JaMarr Chase all day long. You can expect that from a secondary full of swiss cheese. Jared Goff is getting ruined by this organization. He is back to what he was under Jeff Fisher during his rookie year. No help, bad O-Line, no defense to support him. The Lions are now 0-6 with no signs of this cycle ending soon. I don’t know what to think of Cincinnati? I know they are 4-2 but they mostly have had an easy schedule. I’ll see how they do against a real team. (All of Ohio is rooting for them to knock off the Browns boogeyman)
Texans vs Colts: This game is exactly why I believe the Colts are better than their record. Now against easier opponents they don’t make it frustrating and cruise to victory. Now with TY Hilton back, Indianapolis made sure his return wouldn’t end with a dud. The real dud in this game was Davis Mills and David Culley. Both of them were unprepared for what the Colts threw at them. It’s clear that the Texans just want to end the season and start focusing on the Astros more. Speaking of the Stros, “Devers hits it down the right field line and ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? The Red Sox have hit 2 Grand Slams in the 1st 2 INNINGS!” This city has been snakebitten since the trash can scandal. Deshawn Watson needs to leave, he doesn’t deserve sitting on the bench watching this gongshow. (Was Bill O’Brien really the problem)
Chiefs vs Hogs: Kansas City you are really lucky that you are playing a flyover statesmen of a team in the Hogs. If you were playing a contender you wouldn’t be cruising to victory. It didn’t seem that way as the Washington defense was all over the Chiefs receivers in the 1st Half. But yes Kansas City had to run up 21 straight points in the 2nd Half and not look back. I know that the Chiefs defense finally had a good performance and got back to 500 but Patrick Mahomes we need to talk. You can’t just keep turning the ball over multiple times and expect to win. Like I said they were playing Washington, a team with no direction and a bunch of turkeys at the top of their organization. And even worse their top defender in the Honey Badger, CRACK! Broken Thumb yeah it doesn’t look good. This team is going to need to make some kind of move at the trade deadline to get them back in legit contention. With the bounties of paying 60% of their cap into 5 players it will be a brutal task.
Rams vs Giants: Every year there are precious narratives that die but some like the Giants being a dumpster fire continues. A team that on paper should be competing with Dallas for the NFC East has been nothing but a disaster. I know the Rams are a Super Bowl Contender but how can a team with plenty of talent at their offensive skill positions just look so bad? That answer is simple. Terrible O-Line, Daniel Jones being a turnover chef, and Jason Garrett. Plus can anyone in the NFC block Aaron Donald? I don’t think so. The Rams needed this win in order to keep up with the big boys in the conference. New York continues their decent back to Tank Bowl Territory. You better draft a QB in the 1st Round next season or you’ll be punting the future away. Think carefully.
Chargers vs Ravens: (See Charm City Beasts Doc)
Vikings vs Panthers: Remember when Carolina was supposed to be on the rise? We all did. There is one conclusion I have about this team, the Panthers live and die by Christian McCaffery. And it’s on full display, even against an underachieving Vikings team the Panthers still kept giving Minnesota primed chances to win. They made Kirk Cousins look good, that’s alarming. Carolina isn’t coming back from this! BOOM! That is where you’re wrong. The Vikings learning nothing from the 1st 2 games of the season make it frustrating for their fans. Before you know it Sam Darnold rallies his team to tie the game. It may be too late as Minnesota reaches field goal range. Greg Joseph will pull off a game winner like last week just watch, “Joseph’s kick is going right and he MISSED AGAIN!” The Vikings have to be cursed! It’s the only way I can describe this. Don’t worry Mike Zimmer you won the coin toss and have plenty of High End Talent. HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! (You knew that the Vikings were going to win by means of a touchdown in OT) Vikes fans, this is the only reason why your team is relevant. Talent on offense in particular at Wide Receiver! Carolina might be walking into bear traps now that they have lost 3 straight. You need CMC back if you have any chance at a Wild Card berth.
Raiders vs Broncos: How are the Raiders going to respond now that Jon Gruden is gone thanks to that “Damn Good Culture” in Washington? In this case, they rallied behind Derek Carr, and the defense and stopped the bleeding for a bit. Part of this has to do with the fact that Denver is full of frauds. Remember when people were calling them legit after beating 3 of the worst teams in the NFL to start the season? That optimism is dead. Just like Kansas City the Broncos were sent back to reality by the class of the AFC North and they haven’t recovered from it. This is why you need an Offensive Line Elway. Because your QB’s will keep getting destroyed. I don’t know how to judge Vegas. They are 4-2 but how long can they keep this up? I think they’ll be fine once they figure things out.
Cardinals vs Browns: Do you now understand why you never pick the Cleveland Browns to win the AFC North. Because anytime they have expectations they fail miserably. All of the smack they talked after dominating one of the easiest schedules in NFL History last year to get beat up like this. I get that Arizona is a legit contender at this moment but what is going on with the Browns? Everyone is going to say that Baker Mayfield is the problem but guess who is really responsible for these issues that they have. The defense, OBJ, and Joe Woods. Cleveland invested that much money and draft capital into their defense and they are still this bad, and it’s on Joe Woods scheming big time. Also Odell Beckham is the NFL’s version of PK Subban. Million Dollar Talent, Diva in every sense of the word. And even worse for Browns fans. CRACK! The other half of their 2 headed monster in the backfield is out for several weeks with a calf injury. Without Chubb, Hunt, Baker, and a few of their lineman this team is in massive trouble. They have a short week so it’s only getting harder. (If this continues Haslam is going to be desperate to make a blockbuster for Deshawn Watson the future be damned.)
Cowboys vs Patriots: A tale of 2 teams. 1 of them is 4-1 and looking like a complete machine, the other is fighting for dear life despite hurdles being in their way. Early in the game the Patriots led by Mac Jones jumped out to an early lead thanks to Dem Cowboys playing down to their competition. But knowing Dallas they have talent and have scored 13 unanswered points to lead by 6. As soon as I say that New England retakes the lead. Dak Prescott and his boys get the ball and get into field goal range but stall quickly. “Zuerlein’s kick is NO GOOD OFF TO THE LEFT!” The Patriots may have just saved their season right there. There is nothing JerryBoy can do to stop this! “Intercepted! And heading the other way is Trevon Diggs for the TOUCHDOWN!” Ok, now is the time for the Cowboys to get bailed out by High End Talent. That would be short lived as Mac Jones flashed his inner Brady and led the Pats to a go ahead TD on the very next play. Despite New England’s efforts to win, they gave up a 3rd and 25 to allow Dallas to kick the game tying field goal. I wonder what is going to happen here? (YoYo Sound) The refs missed a facemask call that led to the Cowboys getting the ball back. That should do it. You want to know how this game ends. HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!! The “Mike McCarthy Special” has returned from hibernation! Dem Cowboys improved to 5-1 thanks to the glories of High End Talent. This game proves to some people that Roger Goodell doesn’t run the NFL. JERRY JONES DOES! Too bad I kinda wanted the Patriots to win but this is how life works in this league. (Plus America’s team is getting insufferable AGAIN!)
Seahawks vs Steelers: I know what’s coming. The Steelers are going to play down to competition and keep a Seahawks team starting Geno Smith thanks to Russell Wilson Jr III getting punished by the Football Gods. Early on Pittsburgh jumps out to a 14-0 lead but this is Keath Butler and he goes conservative once his defense has a lead. That statement was true. Seattle comes back to tie the game in no time. Something about Alex Collins and playing the Steelers unlocks his elite talents. (I saw it plenty of times when he was a Raven) Despite Mike Tomlin doing everything he can to lose the game the Steelers lead by 3 with a minute left. Then REFBALL comes into the equation. DK Metcalf instead of going out of bounds to save time fumbles the ball, the Seahawks do recover it but instead of Seattle running out of time thanks to not spiking the ball on time they got saved by the officials reviewing whether it was a fumble or not. With this going on Seattle ties the game and it heads to overtime. The Steelers are going to lose and cause the Yinzers to rage. Heinz Field PA: “Oh Mama I’ve been feeling for my life from the long line of the law.” And yes the Seahawks like almost everyone else gets overwhelmed by Renegade. If you are wondering how this happened I have one response for you. HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!! TJ WATT! His forced fumble on Geno allows the YinzerMob to get insufferable YET AGAIN! The Steelers getting bailed out by High End Talent. It’s like the Killer B’s never left! As a fan of a rival that’s the last thing the AFC North needs, 4 teams in the division with playoff ambitions. And Seattle can’t tank either if Wilson is out long term. (The Jets have their 1st Round pick)
Bills vs Titans: Buffalo has been dominating everyone this year so far both ways. To me the question I have is how much of their success was due to bad teams they played or are they just that good. This game provided the answer. Even with the talents of Josh Allen and the Bills receivers Buffalo can’t make this comfortable for their fans. Thats because King Henry XXII is on the other side. He crushed the Bills defense the same way he did to them last year. Tennessee plays up to their potential on offense all game long. But in the end it may not be enough. Buffalo has the lead by 7 but the Titans scored 10 straight points to lead by 3. The Bills returned the ensuing kickoff for a go ahead touchdown. BEEP! Only for the play to get called back. No need for worries BillsMafia, look at how Josh Allen is charging his team quickly down the field. It’s going to be a repeat of last year against the Rams just you watch. However the Titans hold strong and it comes down to a 4th down. Sean McDermott has 2 options, 1 he can play for OT, or he can go for the win. What does he do? “Allen on a QB Sneak and HE IS SHORT!” I understand why they went for it. Because Derrick Henry is on the other side. To be honest even if the Bills kicked the field goal I think they would have lost anyway. Now the Titans are claiming that they are the best team in the AFC. There is still a long way to go from that being a true story. (The Ravens have #1 seed but that won’t stop the Bachelorette Capital from going nuts)
FOOTBALL FOLLIES: And now most esteemed football fans, THE FOOTBALL FOLLIES! This week’s winners are the fans of the Pittsburgh Steelers. During the 4th Quarter of the game on Sunday Night at Heinz Field Seahawks linebacker Darrell Taylor suffered an injury that I originally thought was the reincarnation of Ryan Shazier suffering a career ending injury against the Bengals in 2017. Luckily for him he was able to move eventually and flew back with the team to Seattle. The real goofballs in this scene aren’t the players, they did their jobs. It was THE YINZERS! While Taylor was on the ground Steelers fans were doing the wave so it gave them something to do. But that stopped until they realized that the Seahawks had to bring the emergency cart onto the field. This is both stupid and hilarious at the same time. This is why the YinzerMob makes Eagles fans look like choirboys. Because of situations like this. Do you now understand why I never want to go near that stadium whenever I go to Pittsburgh, it’s because those fans act insane against the visiting fans and do nonsense that would only be allowed at the Linc. What is it with Pennsylvania sports fans when they don’t watch Penn State games?
Bragging Rights Sports 