Gerry Sandusky from Outside the Lines 1-12-07: “It’s a wild intersection where emotions are destined to collide in ways nobody can ever predict when they see the blue Colt horseshoe come back to town. And Jeremy earlier in the show, you used the phrase the Colts are coming back home, they’re not coming back home! THIS IS THE HOME OF THE BALTIMORE COLTS! It was never the home of the Indianapolis Colts, this is sacred ground for names like John Unitas, for names like John Mackey, from my dad John Sandusky, and for all of the people who were part of that Baltimore Colt organization. And the biggest emotion we have when the Colts come to Baltimore, is that the Baltimore Colts and all the great men who were part of that organization don’t have a final resting place.”
CHARM CITY BEASTS
Starring Lamar Jackson, Le’Veon Bell, Latavius Murray, Marquise Brown, Rashod Bateman, Mark Andrews, Justin Houston, Marlon Humphrey, Justin Tucker, John Harbaugh, with Don Martindale, and Greg Roman. Guest Appearances by the “Salty Marylander, and Haloti Ngata
Season 2 Episode 5: Mayflower Bowl X
Created by Bragging Rights Sports
Narrator: If there is anything that needs to be said thank god the Ravens are 3-1 even with all of the injuries. John Harbaugh acknowledged it by saying we have a strong minded team with a strong minded head coach. We have heard that quote around the Under Armour Performance Center a lot over the last 14 years. Last week there was plenty of criticism that Boy Wonder faced after the Denver game. That’s because he didn’t take a knee and tried to tie the NFL Record for most 100 yard rushing games in a row set by the 1974-77 Steelers. (Anytime you try and break a Steelers record in Baltimore it’s a high honor) Vic Fangio responded by saying that call was kinda BEEP! Harbs response was that it was their fault to put us in this situation. There is no 16 point touchdown in the NFL and why would Drew Lock try to pad his stats in garbage time. Then we get to Planet LJ. (Some of the teenage fans in the city gave him that nickname thanks to a recent album from Doja Cat) And oh boy has the media not even mentioned the fact that he threw for over 300 yards against a Top 3 defense. Jackson himself said that my job is to do whatever I can to win throwing or running with the ball. Even with the hype surrounding Justin Herbert, Josh Allen, Joe Burrow, plus a certain QB in Cleveland that shall not be named, Lamar has played it cool and focused on the success of his team. Luckily for him he is getting one of his top weapons back in the future in Rashod Bateman. Even if he is inactive for this week’s game he is certainly a go for Week 6. (Add Miles Boykin and Derek Wolfe too)
The big dilemma this weekend before the game was a friendly rivalry between former Oklahoma and Texas players on the Ravens. This weekend was also the Annual Red River Rivalry game between the Sooners and Longhorns. In Ravens terms it was Mark Andrews, Hollywood, Ben Powers, and former Ravens Tony Jefferson and Orlando Brown vs Justin Tucker, DeShon Elliott, Devin Duvernay, and former Raven Earl Thomas. All of them were going back and forth on Twitter during the game and Primetime Jet himself had a vlog in which he was showing live reactions from Duvernay, Tucker, Andrews, and Elliott. Plus Mark Andrews was on the phone with Baker Mayfield and CeeDee Lamb while the game was going on. Even Action Jackson was into the game like almost every boy his age. Early in the game Texas took a 28-7 lead with the Sooner players at the Under Armour Performance Center getting roasted by the Longhorns. It got so loud in the training room that they interrupted Evan Washburn and the Ravens media team from airing this week’s episode of Ravens Report. But then Tucker, Elilott, and Duvernay were soonly quieted by the Sooners making a furious comeback. Before we knew it the game was tied and tensions were growing. Oklahoma took the lead with 3 minutes left only for Texas to tie the game. Even with Spencer Rattler out of the game the Sooners have a chance to win it. Lamar: “I think they take one chance at a TD” “Direct snap to Brooks, trying to make something happen. He breaks free, KENNEDY BROOKS SAYS FORGET THE FIELD GOAL! WIN IT WITH A TOUCHDOWN!!!” The Sooners side of the room went absolutely nuts. Once again Hollywood and his boys from OU get their annual lording over Texas. Action Jackson enjoys himself as everyone expects him too.
Just like those rascally boys the Marylanders want bragging rights of their own. They not only get another home primetime, they face the Servants of Irsay known as the Indianapolis Colts. As Gerry Sandusky said, the Colts are not coming back home! (Their old home Memorial Stadium is 20 years dead) They are heading into NIGHT GAME HELL! Every Ravens fan wants nothing more than to see the Irsay Family fail. (Marylander from 12-23-17: Deck the Halls with Irsay’s Meatballs! Fa La La La La La La La La!) Those people will never forgive him for moving the Colts in the middle of the night in March of 1984. Marylander: Sike Sike, Irsay rides a bike in the middle of the night without a flashlight! (X6) Narrator: Enough, enough, I get that you are excited, save that for later in the game. As for the Colts themselves they are off to a slow start. Beating the Dolphins last week for their 1st win of the year is a start, but Baltimore will give them many problems. This game has all of the makings for a Ravens statement. On home soil in primetime when they are inducting Haloti Ngata into the Ravens Ring of Honor. The planets were aligning for an awe inspiring performance.
It didn’t seem that way early on, the Ravens went 3 and out to start the game, and it appeared as if the defense would do the same to the Colts. The only thing they did was give up a 76 TD to Jonathan Taylor. (Dear God, this already!) Lamar tries to answer the Indianapolis score by converting a 3rd and Short only for it to be ruled an incomplete pass. The next thing we know is that the Colts are quickly marching towards a 14-0 lead. But then Odafe Oweh continues to make his case for Rookie of the Year by forcing a fumble deep in Raven territory that was recovered by Brandon Williams. This looked to be the turning point of the game, but the Colts defense responded by continuing to stop the running game. They kept stacking 8 men in the box and most times it worked. (Why is Roman turning into David Culley again) The lucky thing for Ravens fans was that the defense kept them in the game by stalling out Carson Wentz and his fearless attack. RavensNation would rally them on, they need to make their Alumni proud again. Look at how many times they hand the ball off for little yardage. The Colts are putting 8 men in the box, not the QB’s fault. Making things worse, Action Jackson leads his mates to another punt. This was also because Ben Cleveland got carted off the field and his replacement got scorched. Luckily for the 71,000 in attendance the offense finally woke up and gained precious yardage only to settle for a field goal thanks to a miscommunication and dropped pass in the endzone by Primetime Jet. Indianapolis continued to get small but important gains but like most drives they stalled out and had to end the half with a field goal. Luckily for Baltimore they get a break, BEEP! Only for All Pro Marlo to overcommit a block attempt and get called for offsides. The Colts take advantage by making the 2nd attempt for a 10-3 lead at halftime.
Following Ngata’s Halftime Ceremony which he described as pure joy from the fans who stayed in their seats, it looked as if the fans were fired up and ready to pounce on Carson Wentz. However they continued to burn Anthony Averett like they did in the 1st Half as Michael Pittman mossed him and went in for a touchdown. But the PAT went wide to the left. Down 16-3 many Ravens fans believed that it was a long shot at victory considering that Jackson has not come back from a hole like this before. But just like on their final drive of the 1st Half the former MVP came out firing. Before you know it they got down to the Indy one yard line. They have a chance to get back in it as, Marylander: HOW MANY TIMES ARE WE GOING TO HAVE MOMENTUM ONLY FOR IT TO GET TAKEN AWAY!? A FUMBLE RETURNED FOR A TOUCHDOWN THANKS TO AN ED REED TYPE LATERAL!!! SOMEBODY STOP THIS! Narrator: Don’t worry it was a forward pass buddy, but they scored anyways. Marylander: Crap! Narrator: Just like 2 years ago against the Titans the Ravens looked past their opponent when they weren’t supposed to. The fact that this team spent all weekend focusing on the Red River Rivalry game instead of their own game is going to drive Boy Wonder Johnny Harbaugh crazy at meetings this week. Down 22-3 there looked like there was no hope left for Marylanders.
BOOM! (Michael Jackson’s Thriller playing) But little did the fans know what was about to happen! Planet LJ was on a mission, pull off the 2nd biggest comeback in Ravens History. Beginning with a big play TD to Marquise Brown the momentum was slowly shifting. Even as the Colts continued to pick the stellar Baltimore defense apart they only got a field goal out of it due to a nice redzone stand. The next drive began with Jackson going right to GoldMine Andrews as the Indianapolis defense had no answers for one of the most dominant Tight Ends in the game. In fact he even scored a touchdown and the 2 point conversion to cut the Colt lead to 8. Before you knew it the optimism was back in the air. With Enter Sandman playing on the loudspeakers the decibel meter at M&T Bank Stadium reached 135 decibels loud, the 4th highest in stadium history. But they were quickly silenced by Jonathan Taylor converting key 3rd Down plays. Fortunately the Colts got stuffed at the 20 yard line. Now they can kick a field goal and potentially put the game out of reach. HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! When are people going to realize that you have to double team Calais Campbell in field goal formation? The guy has blocked more kicks than anyone that is still active. With this crucial play the Ravens offense quickly took advantage with Action Jackson darting up the Indy secondary. (Marylander: Throw it on a dime, like I ain’t even trying. It’s Lamar’s turn to do it tonight Trace) The High End Talent of the Ravens offense storms down the field in no time. Now they have a chance to tie it! “Jackson with all sorts of time. Now throws, caught Andrews! Touchdown Ravens!” All they need is a 2 pointer and we are tied. “For the tie, it’s Andrews and he’s got it” This guy is a GoldMine for a reason, he can catch almost anything thrown his way. And just like that the Ravens have overcome a 19 point deficit to tie it up! How is this going to end? The Colts though have the ball last and they continue to make things hard on Anthony Averett. When are we going to realize that he has issues guarding taller receivers. It’s ok, the Colts got called for holding on the next play and its 2nd and 20. They stopped them for a short gain as, Marylander: YOU ARE (SENSORED!) KIDDING ME TAVON YOUNG! YOU HAVE BEEN PLAYING ONE OF BEST GAMES OF YOUR CAREER AND THEN YOU DECIDE TO BE LEE EVANS! IF THERE IS ONE THING YOU DON’T DO, IT’S GIVE THE OPPOSING TEAM A CHANCE TO WIN WHEN THE NFL IS CRACKING DOWN ON LATE HITS! PAUSE.
Narrator: The controversial late hit allows Indianapolis to get into the field goal range. All they need is a last second kick by Rodrigo Blankenship to make the Marylanders even more grumpy at the Irsays. Football Gods Unleash the Spirits of NIGHT GAME HELL! “The kick is on its way and IT’S NO GOOD OFF TO THE LEFT SIDE!” Marylander (Doing his best Vincent Price impersonation): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Calais literally scared Blankenship so badly he caused him to miss the kick) Narrator: Just like that this game is going to Overtime! Anyone who went to bed at the end of 3rd Quarter is kicking themselves for missing out on this insane finish! Even worse for Colts fans is that the Ravens won the coin toss and the ball. Planet LJ has the chance to pull off another miracle in a season of magical moments to this point! Benefiting from the Indianapolis defense only rushing 3, Lamar had the freedom to either run or throw. Using his reliable targets Hollywood and GoldMine, Jackson got his team in position for the winning score. The question right now isn’t if they are going to win, but who is going to get the winning touchdown? Who cares if the 100 yard rushing streak is dead, beating an old rival is more important! “Jackson takes the snap, pumps once, throws endzone, CAUGHT! GAME OVER!! THE HAY’S IN THE BARN!!!” (League of Legends theme playing) FULL MARYLANDER ACTIVATED!!! Marylander: THEY DID IT AGAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!! OH MY GOSH THEY WALKED IT OFF AGAIN! TAKE THAT JIM IRSAY AND COLTS NATION!!!
Narrator: For the 3rd time in 4 weeks the Ravens pull off a late game miracle. They are now all alone atop the AFC North. Marylander: THE RAVENS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!!! Narrator: In what can be described as shades of 2003 against the Seahawks, Baltimore comes back from the jaws of defeat to the thrill of victory. And even better, it’s against the team that left in the middle of the night. Any time the Ravens 1-up the Irsay’s it’s a special day. At 4-1 they look like a Super Bowl Contender despite all of the injuries and adversity they have faced. That’s what great coaching can do. I wonder how Haloti Ngata is reacting? Ngata: THIS IS AWESOME! Narrator: This made his moment in the sun even sweeter. There are still plenty of challenges ahead for the Boys in Purple. One of them being a heavily anticipated showdown with the Los Angeles Chargers next week. That is another story that will be told next week on Charm City Beasts! Marylander: SIKE!!! SIKE!!! IRSAY RIDES A BIKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT WITHOUT A FLASHLIGHT!!!
Bragging Rights Sports 