Insanity has a face, its name is the Baltimore Ravens. For the last 25 years they have had rivalries, epic victories and collapses that shall not be mentioned. Lets just mention those moments good or bad for the sake of the audience listening to this. Roll the footage.
1996: “Ladies and Gentlemen, WE HAVE A SIGNED CONTRACT AT HAND! The Browns are indeed coming to Baltimore.” Even when the city of Baltimore gets the return of football after the Colts left town in 1984 (Sike Sike, Irsay rides a bike in the middle of the night without a flashlight!), their fans get despised by all of the Dawg Pound. When the Original Browns came to town they left everything in Cleveland while Art Modell was about to build a potential empire in a short amount of time. First off they lowballed Bill Belichick and brought in Ted Marchibroda who was the coach of the Colts during the “Sake and Bake” era in the mid 1970s. Not to mention in their first ever draft they took Future Hall of Famers Jonthan Ogden and Ray Lewis in the 1st Round. Despite the offensive firepower featuring Vinnie Testaverde Earnest Byner and Michael Jackson they still go 4-12 thanks to the defense despite getting a generational talent in Ray-Ray blowing 6 games in the 2nd Half that season and going 0-8 on the road. At least Memorial Stadium is rocking I guess.
1997: Despite Testaverde being benched for a young QB in Eric Zeier the Ravens improved to 6-9-1 despite being in the same division as heavyweights in Pittsburgh and Jacksonville. This year they lost 4 games by a touchdown or less. Maybe it’s time to make a move or 2 to bolster the young core that just solidified its linebacker core with Peter Boulware and Jamie Sharper.
1998: First off, they made premium Yinzer salt by signing Rod Woodson to a 4 year deal, as well as bringing in Jim Harbaugh as the starting QB and drafting Duane Starks to roam the secondary. Oh I almost forgot they made another move with high hopes. M&T BANK STADIUM! (NIGHT GAME HELL!) It will take some time to become a true home-field advantage like 33rd Street was since the Ravens went 6-10 despite the defense starting to develop into a strong unit. As for Ted Marchibroda, he retired following the season finale. As long as they keep up their excellent drafting they have a chance.
1999 Offseason: They decided to replace the aging Marchibroda with a highly touted offensive mastermind from the Minnesota Vikings, Brian Billck! During his stint with the Vikings they made the playoffs 6 times with 5 different QBs. As long as he doesn’t create one of those in Baltimore he should be fine. Not to mention they drafted Chris McAlister in the so-called Redemption Draft which was claimed by long-time Ravens insider Nestor Aparicio. Lets see if he’s right.
1999 Season: Despite another slow start the Ravens emerged into a wrecking machine on defense thanks to Marvin Lewis discovering his potential as a defensive coordinator. Not to mention Tony Banks had a nice 2nd Half of the season after taking over for Scott Mitchell. Even if they missed the playoffs via tiebreaker after losing to the Patriots in Week 17 there at least is a foundation for the future. Lets see what they do about it?
2000 Offseason: This is what we call a spending spree boys and girls! Look at all of the talent they brought in the year 2000. Shannon Sharpe, Sam Adams, Kim Herring, Sam Gash, Jamal Lewis and of course Trent Dilfer (More on him later). Despite the flash and talent on both sides of the ball there were concerns of being in the same division as the best teams in the NFL from the year before. (Marylander: Jaguars and Titans LOOK OUT!) Lets see if the narratives are right.
2000 1st Half: The Ravens started the 5-1 including a huge comeback win over Jacksonville in the home opener with the defense posting 3 shutouts in those games. However the offense went 5 games without a touchdown which led to a 3 game losing streak, and Tony Banks being benched. Thus they have a new signal caller, a man looking for a 2nd chance, TRENT DILFER! (BOOOOOOOM!)
2000 2nd Half: The QB move was the spark that the team needed. Baltimore won its last 7 games after a 5-4 start. Many of the sportswriters across America were saying that they only went 12-4 because of a weak schedule to end the season. (Bengals, Cowboys, Browns, Chargers and Cardinals were the soft teams despite the Ravens beating the Titans and Jets.) Despite the defense led by Ray Lewis, Rod Woodson, and countless other names (Peter Boulware, Rob Burnett, Michael McCrary, and Tony Siragusa that too.) Many of the pundits had them losing in the 1st Round to the Broncos at home since many were considering them a one dimensional team. Oh how wrong would they be!
2000 Playoffs: “Dilfer to throw to the far side, loose ball and it is complete, Shannon Sharpe with the ball down the sideline. (BEEP BEEP!) Sharpe, gonna go for the TOUCHDOWN!” Right on cue the haters and doubters would be proven wrong. After their Wild Card win against the Broncos they stormed into Tennessee and crushed the Titans by means of 2 touchdowns on defense or special teams including a 90 yard return by Anthony Mitchell on a blocked field goal and a 50 yard backbreaker by Ray Ray shortly after. (“Folks, when you go into the lion’s den you don’t tippy toe in! You carry a spear, you go in screaming like a banshee and you kick in you kick whatever door in and say WHERE’S THE SON OF A BEEP!” -Brian Billick) The next week in Oakland they forced 5 turnovers and Shannon Sharpe once again broke the game wide open with a 96 yard touchdown on a 3rd and 18 from the 4. As Ray Lewis said in the Americas Game we are talking about the dance of all dances and the Ravens are in it!
Super Bowl XXXV: Despite much of the attention in this game being drawn towards Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson’s “Wardrobe Act” during the explosive halftime show the game was an utter blowout. The Ravens accomplished the feat of being the fastest expansion franchise to win the Super Bowl. Despite the score being 10-0 for much of the game Duane Starks Picked Kerry Collins and ran it back 50 yards. However the Giants Ron Dixon ran the ensuing kickoff back 97 yards to make it 17-7. (“The game should be tied if it weren’t for REFBALL” -New Yorkers) Then came the moment that everyone watching that game remembers. “Suddenly the Giant fans up making noise, they got some life. Deloiso good foot into this one, kicked it full, not real good though 16 yard line Jermaine Lewis 25, 30. J-Lew kicks it outside, (OH GO J-LEW GO J-LEW SEND HISTORY J-LEW! -Billick) he’s at the 40, 45, he’s at midfield down the far sideline, still on his feet! HE’S GOING ALL THE WAY! ALL RIGHT! JERMAINE LEWIS GOES ALL THE WAY OH MY GOSH!” In one play the Giants went from being right back in it to being down 17 yet again. Over 30 years of waiting for the Lombardi Trophy to return to Baltimore has ended. The Ravens have won the Super Bowl! Hallelujah! FULL MARYLANDER ACTIVATED! YEEEEESSSSS!
2001 Offseason: Even with the glories of the Super Bowl it can’t stop Brian Billick from trying to improve his team. After how angry he was at Trent Dilfer during a few moments during the playoffs, Billick decided to cut him and start another QB controversy. This time he brought in Elvis Grbac, (A guy who was carried by an elite defense in Kansas City in 1997.) and his old buddy from Minnesota in Randall Cunningham. Also they have enough space to get either Jerry Rice or Marvin Harrison to bolster the offensive attack. They say that Harrison wanted nothing to do with us and Rice stayed in the Bay Area because of family reasons. It’s ok though we still have Jamal Lewis. (CRACK!) And he tore his ACL in training camp on National TV. At least they have Priest Holmes. (NOPE!) We traded him to the Chiefs as well. I want a restitution for all of this! (I knew Goose had something to do with that and I told Goose then, I said Goose I want my restitution! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -Tim Johnson during Rookie Talent Show)
2001 Season: Even with no clear Running Back and Elvis struggling immensely the Ravens once again rode the defense into the playoffs with a 10-6 record. (How do you lose to Cleveland TWICE!) The real question for Billick was who was going to play QB in the playoffs. Cunningham (Who had a stellar 2nd Half of the season and went 5-1) or Grbac (Their big money investment) it’s safe to say that Billick went to the money man. (Show me the MONEY! -Billick)
2001 Playoffs: They pretend that this strategy worked by dominating their Wild Card opponents from Miami 20-3 thanks to the defense making Dolphins QB Jay Fiedler’s life a living hell. All of it only leads to a relentless beating by means of Yinzers in the 2nd Round. Perhaps you should have played Cunningham instead but I will give them credit for going this far without their top weapon.
2002 Offseason: Well it appears that most of the Super Bowl XXXV team is at the end of their contracts and most of them are either old or want too high of a price. The solution BLOW IT UP! At least there are plenty of talented players remaining like Jonathan Ogden, Ray and Jamal Lewis, Peter Boulware, Todd Heap, Edwin Mulitalo, Mike Flynn, Adalius Thomas, and Chris McAlister plus a few others. Not to mention they replaced Rod Woodson by drafting a generational talent in Ed Reed. They’ll be fine just watch.
2002 Season: Despite having at the time the youngest team in NFL History the Ravens came within a game of making the playoffs. (How do you lose to the floundering Saints followed by the Steelers shortly after?) That’s a solid coaching job by Billick considering that Ray Lewis, Chris McAlister, Adalius Thomas and Mike Flynn were out by Week 8. Plus their new QB Chris Redman is not ready for the big time despite promise in the preseason. At least they have 2 1st Round picks next year.
2003 Draft: Even if they failed to make a trade with Minnesota before the draft (Credit the Vikings missing their draft pick YET AGAIN!) the Ravens eventually traded up despite losing their #1 pick in 2004. The prize was a game changing pass rusher in Terrell Suggs. (BALL SO HARD!) Oh we also need another QB so let’s keep the 2nd 1st Round pick and take Kyle Boller. It’s a risk but at least they brought in Terry Jones and Marcus Robinson to help him out.
2003 Season: Despite a 5-5 start and losing their then QB of the future the Ravens were carried on the legs of Offensive Player of the Year Jamal Lewis and Ray Ray claiming his 2nd Defensive Player of the Year by getting a career high 6 interceptions and setting a then NFL record for tackles in season. A key game during a stretch where Baltimore won 5 of 6 to end the year was erasing a 17 point hole at home against Seattle led by backup Anthony Wright to win in overtime. (We were robbed! -Seahawks fans) The result was their 1st Division Championship in franchise history. Lets see what happens in the playoffs?
2003 AFC Wild Card: In another instant classic against one of their archrivals in the Titans the game has gone back and forth with both defenses turning in outstanding performances. The Ravens may be down by 7 in the 4th quarter but look at this drive that Anthony Wright has put together to tie the game up with a touchdown pass to Todd Heap. That’s what we call a leader. Despite the Ravens defense giving the ball back to Wright and the offense they stalled out with 3 minutes left. It’s ok though Jamal Lewis just converted a 3rd and 1 HOLD IT! “Personal Foul, Unnecessary Roughness, Offense #78.” Marylander: Really Orlando Brown! If there is one time where you don’t make a child’s play, it’s in the 4th quarter of a playoff game! YOU MAY HAVE JUST COST US THE GAME! Narrator: Woah, hold on a second they can still stop them on defense. However the Titans got the ball back as Eddie George and Gary Anderson put the dagger into Charm City. It was a great season that was far beyond expectations I guess. Keep going!
2004 Offseason: Well it appears that the Ravens need another Wide Receiver to help out whoever their QB is going to be. TO not bad he should do well here, wait you’re saying that he doesn’t want to play with a scrub QB. It’s ok though they can get Larry Fitzgerald in the draft. BUZZER! Oh right their 1st Round pick is in the hands of the Patriots. At least they signed Deion Sanders on his redemption tour.
2004 Season: Ravens what just happened is one of the most despicable wastes of talent in the NFL. A team that starts 6-3 should be competing for a playoff spot yet then proceeds to fall off in the 2nd Half. The main reasons for this collapse, 1. Blowing a 17 point lead in the 4th quarter at home against a struggling Bengals team, 2. Ray Lewis and Terrell Suggs getting injured in Week 17 in Indianapolis. If you take away those things they would be 11-5 going into the playoffs. Though I don’t think they would have beaten the Colts that week as well. (Marylander: Can you please tell Billick to have a long term plan at QB please with Wright, Boller, and Kordell Stewart. That would be great!)
2005: It turns out that Kyle Boller and Anthony Wright are completely cooked Ray Lewis Ed Reed and Peter Boulware are out by Week 10 and they finish 6-10 despite a solid home record. Going winless on the road for the first time in 10 years wasn’t so great. At least get an accomplished QB.
2006 Offseason: In a change of events the Ravens made a blockbuster move to hopefully turn the tide of the AFC. Billick and GM Ozzie Newsome were able to get Steve McNair and his good buddy Derrick Mason in free agency. Hey not to mention everyone on defense is healthy and Jamal Lewis is still around. This year is going to be great!
2006 Season: Here it is boys, a true Championship Contender for the first time since 2000. This time Billick has what has eluded him since 1998 when he had Randy Moss and Cris Carter in Minnesota. A TOP FLITE OFFENSE! Steve McNair returning to 2003 form, Jamal Lewis still rumbling opponents and Derrick Mason and Todd Heap in their primes plus the already solid O-Line. On defense it is salivating. Look at all of the talent that defensive coordinator Rex Ryan has to use. Ray, Ed, T-Sizzle, Boulware, Deion, Adalius Thomas, C-Mac, and Kelly Gregg. A rookie sensation in Haloti Ngata as well as Bart Scott, Samari Rolle, and Jarrett Johnson emerging into solid players or rediscovering their talents. They have the 2nd best record in the NFL with a 13-3 season. They are the instant favorites to win the Super Bowl out of the AFC, nothing will stop this machine! (Marylander: WE ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!)
2006 AFC Divisional: Once again Billick gets out coached by Tony Dungy! The Colts storm into town and crush the hopes and dreams of Marylanders everywhere on a warm Saturday Night. Seriously how do you hold Peyton Manning out of the endzone and lose the game? Simple, turning the ball over 3 times at the Colts 20 yard line. The chance to host Tom Brady and the Patriots in the AFC Championship is gone and this may have been Billicks last shot at a Super Bowl. Poor Deion Sanders and Peter Boulware, they deserved a better sendoff than this.
2007 1st Half: Well it appears the demons of a year ago are not around this time. The Ravens are 5-2 and have a share of 1st Place in the AFC North. The 18-wheeler is rolling again.
2007 2nd Half: The 18-wheeler collapses as the team loses 9 straight to end the year. It is too much for Billick to swallow. The cherry on the sundae was losing in overtime to the 0-13 Miami Dolphins. (How does Matt Stover miss a 29 yard field goal to win!?) Not to mention Steve McNair suffered a career ending injury. Good luck finding a new head coach and QB.
2008 Offseason: It appears that they need to take a page out of the Andy Reid coaching tree. How about getting their long time special teams coach, who is a perfect fit for this new look approach. Meet your new master, THE BOY WONDER JOHN HARBAUGH! (Marylander: He shall perfect his craft! BOOOOOOOM!) Also we need to invest in this future, “The Baltimore Ravens select… Joe Flacco, Quarterback Delaware.” A QB with a massive chip on his shoulder and a cannon arm. Not to mention lets bring in a few old vets in Lorenzo Neal and Willie Anderson to bolster the run blocking. This is the dawn of a new era in Baltimore!
2008 Regular Season: After a 2-3 start, (those 3 losses were to the Steelers, Titans, and Colts. The 3 best teams in the AFC.) the Ravens went on to win 9 of their last 11 led by Flacco Willis McGahee, Derrick Mason, and a rock solid defense dating back to the Billick years. If they didn’t get robbed by the Steelers at home in Week 15 they most likely would have gotten a 1st Round Bye. It’s ok though they have the horses to make another deep playoff run considering Ray Lewis and Ed Reed’s experience.
2008 AFC Wild Card: “Pennington under pressure, throws it deep down the far sideline. And it is intercepted Ed Reed to the Miami 40, heading to the Ravens sideline he’s got the ball. Has an alley, on run down to the 35, 30, he’s at the 20. HE COULD GO HE’S AT THE 5! TOUCHDOWN ED REED!” Right on cue the defense has come to play! Forcing 5 turnovers and making Chad Penningtons life a living hell. Not to mention the offense overcame a slow start by scoring 2 key touchdowns in the 2nd Half to put the game away. (QB Draw by Flacco, those were the days.) I wonder where this will take them?
2008 AFC Divisional: Just like 2000, the Ravens stormed into Nashville and the defense took away the Titans running game as they beat up Kerry Collins in a playoff game YET AGAIN! The offense only scored 1 touchdown on a deep ball to the ex-Titan Derrick Mason, but Joe Flacco led the team on a late game march including a huge 3rd Down Conversion to Todd Heap (Marylander: Heeeeeeap!) to set up Matt Stover for his last great moment as a Raven. After the clutch field goal, the defense stopped Tennessee one more time to seal the game. Thus leads to the match of doom! The AFC Championship at Heinz Field, the ultimate boogeyman is in their sights!
2008 AFC Championship 3rd Quarter: It’s happening again! The Ravens underdog story continues, all we can do is look to their skies. Baltimore has a chance to overcome a 13-0 hole against the Steelers. All they need to do is get in field goal range and end it. This isn’t Week 4 or Week 15 when they lost in heartbreaking fashion. This is going to be different.
2008 AFC Championship 4th Quarter: Then the Steelers knocked JO out of the game via James Harrison and Flacco proceeded to throw a backbreaking Pick6 to Troy Polamalu on the very next play. (Yinzers: Yoy and Double Yoy!) The Ravens Cinderella Story ends in brutal fashion. What a way to waste the defense’s outstanding performance.
2009 Offseason: With Ogden, Willie Anderson, and Lorenzo Neal retiring and Bart Scott and Rex Ryan headed to New York. The Ravens were at a bit of a crossroads. In fact they nearly traded Ray Lewis and Ed Reed to Dallas for 3 1st Round Picks and TO. (Thank god that trade never went through.) Instead they brought in C Matt Birk and DB Dominique Foxworth as well as bringing back Terrell Suggs at a nice payday after 2 years on the franchise tag. This year’s gonna be great!
2009 Season: After a roller coaster first 12 games in which they went 6-6, (Highlighted by ending McDaniels Mania in Denver, and winning a Sunday Night Epic against the Steelers) the Ravens won 3 out of 4 to end the regular season in which there were more questions than answers about the structure of the team. Despite making the playoffs thanks to a tiebreaker they crushed the Patriots and gave them their first home playoff loss in the Belichick era led by Ray Rice scoring on the 1st Play of the game, and the defense picking off Tom Brady 4 times. Then there is the whole Peyton Manning and the Colts deal, yeah they’re still around and somehow still kicking their old city’s butts. Maybe they can use this as a stepping stone.
2010 Offseason: Despite not reaching the goal of a Super Bowl the Ravens make a bold and brash move to start free agency. The big fish is Anquan Boldin (The big body receiver that Flacco has been looking for.) Even if it cost them their 1st Round Pick that year it’s obviously a huge boost for the run heavy offense. Not to mention the defense is still Top 10 material.
2010 Regular Season: The Ravens went from dark horse to legit Super Bowl contender overnight! Led by the offensive firepower and outstanding defense the Ravens finished the year at a 12-4 despite blowing the chance to win the AFC North against Pittsburgh thanks to Troy (Bleeping) Polamalu strip sacking Flacco in the 4th Quarter of that dreaded game. (The only time Baltimore lost a home primetime game in the 2010s.) Despite being the Wild Card they have the tools to get back to the Super Bowl. Good luck!
2010 Playoffs: Once again like 2008 they stormed past their early opponents thanks to excellent defense and Joe Flacco’s rise to being a Top 10 QB. In those playoff games they outscored their opponents in the Peyton Manning-less Colts (Sorry Curtis Painter) and the upstart Chiefs by a combined total of 54-17. Thus leads to a similar result as 2008. A Playoff showdown in YinzerLand!
2010 AFC Championship 1st Half: With the Super Bowl and a trip to Dallas at stake the Ravens come out on fire. Up 24-7 at halftime and Ben Roethlisberger is banged up! There is no way they can blow this lead!
2010 AFC Championship 2nd Half: In typical Harbaugh fashion he plays not to lose and Pittsburgh storms back for 17 unanswered points. Don’t worry the Ravens have a chance to win the game in the final minute. Time for redemption! “Flacco throws it out to the flat and its PICKED OFF, JAMES FARRIOR IS GOING TO TAKE IT TO THE 10 YARD LINE!!!” Or trust the butterfingers of Le’Ron McClain to get 5 yards. Pittsburgh goes to the Super Bowl. AGAIN! Time to make some changes on offense.
2011 Offseason: The offense did take a massive blow when Todd Heap and Derrick Mason both left in free agency. Now the Ravens must build their way back to glory on both sides of the ball. Dominique Foxworth has not lived up to expectations because of injuries and Fabian Washington also left in free agency. The solution, sign a enforcing safety in Bernard Pollard and get one of the most underrated players in the draft in Jimmy Smith. Sure we missed our pick and Mark Ingram wasn’t available but this guy will be the lockdown corner of the future. Not to mention let’s draft another local boy in Torrey Smith. Plus we need another solid wideout for Flacco to work with. Lets go claim a highly touted wideout from the Bills in Lee Evans. This won’t backfire at all!
2011 Regular Season: Despite Evans not living to expectations and fellow new signing Ricky Williams being all but invisible the offense reaches new heights thanks to Flacco calling his own plays for the first time in his career. Ray Rice went over 2000 yards from scrimmage and Dennis Pitta looks like a stud at Tight End. The defense outstanding. Terrell Suggs and Haloti Ngata in their primes, Ray Lewis and Ed Reed overcoming mid-season injuries and still producing at a high level. And not to mention to young studs in Lardarius Webb and Carry Williams. They have clinched the AFC North and a 1st Round Bye for the 1st time since 2006. All that needs to be seen is a Super Bowl run!
2011 Divisional: In this matchup of heavyweights against a fast-rising Texans team the Ravens jumped on Houston really quick and throughout the day made TJ Yates look like the backup QB that he is. (“We would be killing the Ravens if we had Matt Schaub!” -Texans fans.) (Marylander: Boohoo Houston we beat you with a healthy Matt Schaub in Week 6 already!) Leading 20-13 with 2 minutes left the Texans have one more chance to force overtime “Yates, gonna go deep, (HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!) ED REED! ED REED!!!” (The loudest REEEEED! chant in M&T Bank Stadium history) Get mossed Andre Johnson! The Ravens are going to the AFC Championship AGAIN! This time the monkey will be off their backs!
2011 AFC Championship: In a true battle of the Titans. The Ravens and Patriots trade defensive stops, quick strikes, and panic attacks throughout the game. Despite New England taking the lead with 4 minutes left, the Ravens have one more chance at victory. Look at Joe Flacco playing pitch and catch with Anquan Boldin. Now inside the Patriot 15 with 30 seconds left they can either force OT or go for the KO and send the Gillette Stadium crowd into silence. “Flacco throws, endzone and it is KNOCKED OUT OF THE HANDS OF EVANS AND INCOMPLETE!” Lee Evans gets highway robbed at the worst possible time, it appears as if he is going to catch the ball but it gets knocked away at the last minute. It’s ok though, it was only 2nd Down and they have 2 downs to save the season. 3rd Down play: Incomplete pass intended for Dennis Pitta. (You had Ray Rice open and you didn’t see it) Now they must rely on Billy Cundiff who hasn’t missed a field goal inside of 35 yards since 2008. “And the kick, LOOKOUT, LOOKOUT, LOOKOUT! IT’S NO GOOD!!! It’s no good!” You’ve got to be kidding me, the Ravens lose in the AFC Championship Game in heartbreaking fashion for the 3rd time in 4 years. SOMEBODY SAVE US!
2012 Offseason: Well this is perhaps the biggest all-in season in franchise history. Ray Lewis and Ed Reed are in the final year of their contracts, Flacco is playing out his 5th year option, and despite losing defensive coordinator Chuck Pagano to the Colts they brought in Dean Peas, the guy who blew the 18-0 season in New England ok. Don’t worry Dean you shall be carried by high end talent on defense. Not to mention we brought in Jim Caldwell just in case Cam Cameron gets outdated. It’s a fair tradeoff for Pagano.
2012 Weeks 1-12: Despite losing Lardarius Webb, Ray Lewis, Dominique Foxworth, Ricky Williams, and newly signed pass rusher Marcus Spears to season ending injuries the Ravens still started the season 9-2 despite how ugly they looked in some games. Thank goodness for the sake of all Marylanders that Billy Cundiff and Lee Evans are gone. In their places comes Justin Tucker and Jacoby Jones. The main highlight in a 4 game win streak at mid-season was a 55-20 blowout against the Raiders at M&T and Ray Rice establishing himself in Ravens lore by converting a 4th and 29 with 1½ left in regulation against the Chargers (Thus leading to the Tucker KO!) The #1 seed is all but yours!
2012 Weeks 13-17: However the bad luck of losing Terrell Suggs and Ed Reed for 3 games cost them as the Ravens lost 4 of 5 in December to close out the regular season. Cam Cameron has been declared as a dinosaur who can’t manage a game clock if his life depended on it. Now Jim Caldwell must call the shots. Despite winning the AFC North Title for the 2nd consecutive year there are plenty of doubts around the team going into the playoffs. If there is one push that this team needs its from their 17th year defensive leader leader. “Today, I told my team that this would be my last ride.” Oh my goodness, now the Ravens have to win the Super Bowl. If they don’t win a championship before Ray Lewis and Ed Reed retire it will be considered one of the greatest wastes of talent in NFL History. And its not getting easier considering that they have to play the Colts in Round 1 at home. Yes Peyton Manning is gone, but they have a new stud QB in Andrew Luck. Time to begin the Cinderella Story!
2012 AFC Wildcard: Despite a majority of America picking the Colts in this game, the Ravens overcame a slow start in the 1st Half and punished Luck and Indianapolis all day long. In the 2nd Half Joe Flacco and Anquan Boldin picked up the pace as they scored touchdowns on 3 of their next 4 possessions. Even if Ray Lewis and perhaps Ed Reed got a nice sendoff from the fans in Baltimore the real work is about to be done. Now they must go to the Rocky Mountains to face that dreaded Peyton Manning guy AGAIN!
2012 AFC Divisional: Live from the heart of Mile High its a title bout for the ages! 2 teams that are evenly matched going at it with big plays on a frigid evening in Denver. Despite the Broncos attempts to open up the game they can’t stop a pesky Joe Flacco while the special teams genius of a head coach is getting beat at his own game as Trindon Holiday burns the Ravens for 2 kick return touchdowns. This game is for more than just a trip to the AFC Championship. The loser must suffer the face of their defense retiring in defeat. (The Broncos were enduring the last ride of Brian Dawkins) Even if the Broncos have the game all but won thanks to Jim Caldwell playing not to lose and getting burned in the 4th Quarter the Ravens still have 1 more chance and it’s all they really need. “The Ravens need help from above, they are out of timeouts, the clock is running the Ravens have to snap it quickly from the gun. Denver rushes 3, Flacco steps up, throws deep far sideline Jacoby Jones, HAS IT AT THE 20! JACOBY JONES! TOUCHDOWN RAVENS!!! NO FLAGS ON THE PLAY! AND THE MIRACLE IS ANSWERED!” Oh my goodness gracious, what are we witnessing! Perhaps the greatest game in franchise history. It seems that way as it took the Ravens nearly an entire quarter to have the chance to go back to the AFC Championship. Now that the defense finally got Manning to make a mistake, now Justin Tucker has the chance to do what Billy Cundiff couldn’t. “Kick is on its way and it looks, GOOD!” That-a-boy JT! (Marylander: BYE BYE BRONCOS! WE’RE GONNA BEAT THE PATRIOTS!)
2012 AFC Championship: In the words of Ray Lewis the Ravens threw away the key and locked the gates on the Patriots. Despite trailing 13-7 at halftime, Joe Flacco and the offense crushed the New England secondary for the rest of the game. Not to mention the defense was back in their primes as they made the GOATs life a living hell. Not even Tom Brady and Bill Belichick can stop this amazing story from ending. With that being said the Ravens are going to New Orleans, you know what this means? Marylander: THE RAVENS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL! YEEEEESSSSS! OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT I’M SEEING! LOOKOUT SAN FRANCISCO! GET THOSE TICKETS EVERYONE! PAUSE.
Super Bowl XLVII 1st Half: Oh boy is this awesome. The Ravens are not only beating the 49ers they are crushing them. The only good thing for people in the Bay Area to enjoy in this game is the halftime show from Beyonce and Destiny’s Child. Baltimore is up 28-6 early in the 3rd Quarter led by Flacco and Jacoby Jones continuing their red hot postseason. The only thing that is concerning is the Superdome itself. It is the most haunted stadium in the NFL and had a fireball fall from the roof in the 1980s and was built on a cemetery during the mid 1970s. What can go wrong here? Joe Flacco: “Why’d the clock stop, WHY’D THE CLOCK STOP!” You’ve got to me kidding me! A blackout in the Super Bowl! (Marylander: This is a conspiracy against all things Baltimore, some Yinzer or Tech Savvy 49ers fan must have hacked into the power system. GET EM OUT OF THE BUILDING!)
Super Bowl XLVII 2nd Half: The 49ers chipped away at the deficit and got back in the game, most of it is due to Haloti Ngata and Ed Reed getting injured in the 3rd quarter and missing a significant amount of time. The good news is that the offense is still putting up points despite only getting field goals. With a 5 point lead with 4 minutes left all the Ravens need to do is stop Colin Kaepernick and Frank Gore. All that Joe Flacco and the offense can do is watch, with this being said, San Francisco gets all the way down to the Baltimore 5. (I felt like throwing up at that game at that moment.) But the good news for Ravens fans was that Ngata and Reed were back on the field when the game was on the line. 1st play: Run No gain, 2nd Play: Incomplete pass Jim Harbaugh calls for PI and doesn’t get it. (No REFBALL for you Jimmy!) 3rd Play: Incomplete pass thanks to a great hit by Jimmy Smith. All that remains is one more chance. “Ray Lewis comes on a blitz, Kaepernick lobs to the endzone, INCOMPLETE! NO FLAGS ON THE PLAY! INCOMPLETE! RAY LEWIS AND THE DEFENSE DELIVERS AND STOPS THE 49ERS AT THE 5!” Despite not running out the clock shortly after the Ravens take an intentional safety by means of Sam Koch running around in the endzone to chew up the clock. All that’s left between the Ravens and a 2nd Lombardi Trophy is a free kick after a safety. “Koch will kick it deep, on the return is Ginn, he breaks a tackle at the 40, still on his feet at the 50. And the Ravens have done it! 34-31, THE SUPER BOWL BELONGS TO BALTIMORE!” FULL MARYLANDER ACTIVATED! THE RAVENS HAVE WON THE SUPER BOWL! OH MY HEAVENS BUST UP THE CRABCAKES AND RIPKEN BURGERS LETS FEAST! What an ending to Ray Lewis and Ed Reed’s tenures in Baltimore! Winning the Super Bowl in what was considered the biggest all-in year by any team in recent memory. This is something that Ravens fans will be talking about for a long time. John Harbaugh: It’s never pretty, it’s never perfect, BUT IT IS US!
2013 Offseason: Despite the glories of the Lombardi Trophy there are huge problems because of the cap space they have with all of the talent on the roster. The result, CUT PAYROLL! Paul Kruger, Bernard Pollard, Anquan Boldin, Ricky Williams, Dominique Foxworth, Matt Birk, Carry Williams, etc. At least they extended Flacco and T-Sizzle. Hopefully the young talent is still there.
2013 Weeks 1-15: Despite losing their 2 greatest players and half of their starting defense the Ravens overcame a 4-6 start and have won 4 straight headlined by knocking the Lions out of the NFC North lead thanks to Justin Tucker hitting 6 field goals including a 61 yard game winner. At 8-6, Baltimore controls its own destiny by beating either the Patriots or Bengals to have the chance to defend their title. Good luck!
2013 Week 16: The Patriots stormed into town and crushed all things Jim Caldwell and Dean Peas as they got their revenge from the 2012 AFC Championship. The result is a 41-7 shellacking of the Ravens. Don’t worry this may have been one of the biggest laid eggs in franchise history but they have to play the Bengals in a winner take all game for the AFC North title and potentially the final Wild Card Spot.
2013 Week 17: Despite trailing 17-3 at halftime Joe Flacco and Ray Rice come out swinging in the 2nd Half as they attack 14 straight points to tie the game. What does Marvin Lewis have up his sleeves, let me guess knockout one of our top weapons intentionally. CRACK! Then Taylor Mays lays the kill-shot on Ray Rice thus resulting in a broken collarbone. At least they have a solid prospect named Bernard Pierce behind him. NOPE! “Intercepted, and it’s going to be a touchdown for Dre Kirkpatrick!” There goes the chance at a repeat. At least the cap has gone way up.
2014 Offseason: Even with Torrey Smith, an injured Dennis Pitta, and rising star in Marlon Brown the Ravens need more weapons for Flacco to work with. They make an incredibly bold and brash move to start free agency. The big fish is Steve Smith, yes he may have anger management issues in terms of his on-field emotions but he should be a perfect fit in this new look offense. Now that Jim Caldwell took the head coaching job in Detroit, the new headmaster of the offense is Gary Kubiak, yes he may have been fired from the Texans but let him get a 2nd chance. The only concern is how is Ray Rice going to overcome a potential decline, he is a bad injury away from having that reality. AND AND! Marylander: OF COURSE HE DID THE ONE THING YOU DON’T DO! YOU NEVER PUNCH A GIRL ESPECIALLY YOUR FUTURE WIFE! Don’t worry “Mr Don’t be a Jerk” you’re only suspended 2 games and most likely you won’t skip a beat when you come back. (YoYo Sound) That was until the video of him punching his fiance was posted viral on TMZ on the eve of the Ravens Week 2 game against the Steelers. At least they signed Justin Forsett to replace him.
2014 Regular Season: The Ravens can live without Rice’s talents as they transport themselves to a strong 10-6 season with the offense reaching new heights. Despite injuries to the starting secondary and Haloti Ngata getting suspended they overcame a massive collapse by beating the Browns and the media darling known as Johnny Football in Week 17. (Ngata crushed all hopes of a Browns playoff berth in his return) They may be the 6 seed in the AFC that won’t stop Super Bowl fever from hitting the fan base again.
2014 1st 2 Rounds: Baltimore has made it back to the playoffs via tiebreaker. Even better news they beat the Broncos again (“But we didn’t have Peyton!” -Denver fans) as well as knocking off the Steelers in front of a Saturday Night audience at Heinz Field. Just like 2011 and 2012 they must head to Foxbrough for the AFC Title Game. Time to start a DYNASTY!
2014 AFC Championship 1st Half: It’s happening again, Joe Flacco is crushing the Patriots again! This time it’s even more insane than 2012. The Ravens are leading the Patriots 28-14 in the 3rd Quarter. We might have a new empire in the NFL.
2014 AFC Championship 2nd Half: In true Tom Brady fashion the Patriots come storming back and now lead by 4 with 4 minutes to go. All Flacco has to do is lead a game winning drive unlike 2011. “Flacco under pressure, he’s going deep for Smith and it’s INTERCEPTED! Picked off by Duron Harmon in the endzone!” Well at least they made it this far despite losing half their starting secondary by Week 9. As long as they ace the draft they have a chance next season. Also the eligible receiver rule is such nonsense. (“Read the rulebook Johnny!” – Tom Brady)
2015 Offseason: Well the Ravens didn’t have the money to resign Torrey Smith but there at least is hope for them because of their outstanding draft reputation. Plus Gary Kubiack took the head coaching job in Denver. There are 2 names that come to mind, Stefon Diggs and Breshad Perriman. I wonder who they took? Marylander: They took Perriman over the local boy Diggs! AAAAAAH! Narrator: Hold on a second, give the rookie a chance. CRACK! That is until Perriman tore his ACL in training camp. Well at least Flacco has Steve Smith and Dennis Pitta CRACK! Pitta also suffered a season ending injury in training camp. It’s gonna be one of those years!
2015 Season: Called it! Underachieving and agony for all ages. It may have started in training camp but it got worse since Terrell Suggs tore his achilles in Week 1 in a rematch with Denver. Later in the season Steve Smith broke his ankle and 2014 breakout star Justin Forsett broke his arm. How does this get worse? CRACK! Then Flacco tears his ACL via his own lineman falling on his knee. The result following their QBs injury is losing 6 straight to end the year to finish 5-11. I will give them an excuse because of the then NFL record for players on IR. Also can you tell Steve Bisciotti to change the field conditions at M&T Bank Stadium so players won’t get hurt on a weekly basis.
2016 Offseason: Now with cap space and draft capital this year the Ravens needed to add more weapons to the offense. The 2 names were Ben Watson and Mike Wallace. (Scratch that Watson got hurt in training camp.) At least they got the big fish in Eric Weddle to replace the bum known as Matt Elam. What a bust of a 1st Round pick. Speaking of the draft they have a Top 6 pick thanks to the injury prone season. Despite not getting a shutdown corner in Jalen Ramsey the Ravens were able to pick their next Jonathan Ogden in Notre Dame’s Ronnie Stanley. We should have a good chance to make it back to the playoffs!
2016 Weeks 1-15: As expected the Ravens are in the competition for a playoff spot. Despite a 3-4 start and Offensive Coordinator Marc Trestman getting axed, Baltimore stormed back to win 5 of their next 7 thanks to Flacco making his case for Comeback Player of the Year. In a stretch highlighted by humiliating the hotshot Dolphins in Week 13 and holding off an Eagles comeback in Week 15. (The windy conditions at that game were brutal) With 2 games to go the Ravens need to win 1 to clinch the 6th and final seed in the AFC playoffs and potentially gain hold of the division.
2016 Week 16-17: Despite being beat up by a Bengals team that had given up by Week 9 the Ravens still have a chance to make the playoffs as the AFC North Champion. To do so they have to go to Pittsburgh to save their season. Up by 10 deep into the 4th quarter there should be no panic. That is until the Steelers answered back for 2 straight touchdowns and led by 4. Then Flacco as he tends to do in big games leads Baltimore back into the lead with 1:25 to go. There is one problem, the Ravens left way too much time for a scorching Leader of Men. Big Ben torches Dean Peas zone heavy defense all the way down to the 10 yard line. With no timeouts left those Yinzers are literally down to one play. One play that will decide the AFC North and playoff positioning. “Roethisberger throws, is caught by Brown, fights to the goal line. BREAKS THE PLAIN! TOUCHDOWN PITTSBURGH! THAT MIGHT WIN THEM THE DIVISION!” (Marylander: THERE WAS NO IMMACULATE EXTENSION, AB WAS IMMACULATELY SHORT!) And there goes any hopes of a home playoff game. Just don’t let this happen again! Please!
2017 Offseason: With Steve Smith and Dennis Pitta retiring in the offseason the Ravens obviously need a few weapons. The answers are Jeremy Maclin and Danny Woodhead. Not to mention let’s upgrade the secondary with Tony Jefferson. Not to mention let’s get ourselves a generational talent in Marlon Humphrey in the draft. This time we’ve got everything fixed despite Flacco missing all of training camp with a bad back.
2017 Weeks 1-3: Right on cue the Ravens realize their full potential shutting out the Bengals at Paul Brown Stadium and coming home to roast on their old QB coach in Hue Jackson and the Browns. At 2-0 Baltimore has only allowed 10 points and forced 8 turnovers heading into a Week 3 showdown against the Jaguars across the Atlantic in London. There is only one thing that can stop this machine. PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP HIMSELF! Hours before the game he said that it was a disgrace against the USA that NFL players would kneel during the singing of the “Star Spangled Banner.” Not to mention the anthem was written in Baltimore which angers the Ravens fan base even more. They respond by kneeling for the National Anthem and stand for “God Save the Queen”. Not to mention they had perhaps the worst offensive performance since Week 7 of 2000 against the Redskins. The #Sacksonville defense pounded Joe Flacco all game and the only touchdown the Ravens scored was on special teams. Don’t worry nothing bad is going to happen next week when we come home to face the Steelers.
2017 Week 4: Bruce Cunningham: “Before the singing of the National Anthem please join Ravens players and staff in a moment of silence as we hope for peace and unity for all Americans.” Fans: “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” You have got to be kidding me! They knelt AGAIN! And not only that they are about to play their most hated rival in a battle for 1st Place. Shortly after the infamous moment the offense once again failed to score a touchdown as Le’Veon Bell and Ryan Shazier torch the Ravens all day long. Honestly this better be a wakeup call for Harbs to be on the hot seat.
2017 Weeks 5-16: Despite a 4-5 start which included gut wrenching losses to the Bears and Titans the Ravens responded by winning 5 straight and getting back into the status as a dark horse contender by crushing pretend teams in Green Bay and Houston and crushing the Lions at home followed by an epic goal line stand against the Colts. Despite blowing a 9 point lead with 3 minutes left against those Yinzers the Ravens still have a chance to clinch the 5 seed in the AFC with a win over the Bungles, just don’t repeat last year please.
2017 Week 17: Oh my goodness gracious they are down 14-0 out of the gate. I mean come on guys WAKE UP! Yes it’s 16 degrees outside but just prepare for this weather ok! BOOM! Then the Bungles took their foot off the gas as Flacco turned the clock back to 2012. 3 straight touchdowns following what could have been a back breaking Pick6 to start the 2nd Half and a late game lead. Dean Peas your job is on the line, all you need to do is stop Andy Dalton in the frigid conditions and send Buffalo fans who are rooting for Cincinnati into ashes. “Dalton throws, he gets out of a sack and throws it and it is picked off but we have a flag!” “Prior to the pass, Holding, Defense # 23.” It’s only 5 yards and thanks to a bad snap and 2 incomplete passes the Bengals face a 4th and 12 at midfield with no timeouts. Don’t go back to zone Peas, you have been going man-man for the last 5 minutes. “Dalton to throw and he sidesteps a sack, and fires it downfield, caught at the 30 by Tyler Boyd, and he is going to go IN UNTOUCHED FOR 6! UNREAL!” I thought I was mad after one Week 17 collapse. But to blow a late game lead with a playoff spot on the line in a do or die game in CONSECUTIVE YEARS! BOOM! HARBS DO IT! GET RID OF THIS CHOKE ARTIST OF A DEFENSIVE COORDINATOR RIGHT NOW! He agreed, please enjoy the retirement tour Dean! Way to waste an outstanding 2nd Half by Flacco.
2018 Offseason: To replace Dean Peas they hired a highly touted linebackers coach. “Don Wink Martindale.” Witness his crafty blitzes at first hand! You know what Flacco still has enough gas left in the tank. Let’s go out and get Michael Crabtree, John Brown and Willie Snead. The good news is that Marshal Yanda is returning from a broken ankle last season. Now that Joe is in his mid-30s we need to draft his replacement thanks to Philly being desperate for Mike Wallace and Timmy Jernigan. “The Baltimore Ravens select… Lamar Jackson. Quarterback Louisville.” Oh boy they want their own human cheat code despite several risks that go to it. As long as they develop him well they have a chance.
2018 Weeks 1-9: Flacco responds to his replacement being drafted as with the most inspiring play since 2014. Through 6 games they are 4-2 with key wins over the Steelers and Broncos and a shutout against the Titans. Against a Super Bowl Contender in the Saints in Week 7 on home soil Baltimore is going toe to toe with the powerful Saints offense despite New Orleans erasing a 10 point 3rd quarter hole. It appears as if Flacco has revived his career as the Ravens can tie it up with less than a minute to go. All the immortal Justin Tucker has to do is survive a 25 MPH wind breeze and this game is tied. “Tucker’s extra point is hooking IT’S NO GOOD! HE MISSED IT TO THE RIGHT!” From the way it was kicked it looked like it was going through but the wind took. Hopefully that doesn’t happen again. After that shock the Ravens got smacked by the Panthers and JoeCool got knocked out of the Week 9 game against the Steelers while trying to lead a game tying drive. ( Marylander: Oh the Football Gods did it to us AGAIN!) The result was a potentially a season ending injury. Now they must rely on the 1st Round Pick from Louisville to save their season.
2018 Weeks 11-16: Action Jackson becoming the starter was the spark that the team needed. In his first 5 starts the Ravens went 4-1 and looked very impressive in those starts. The defense as usual was smashing QBs and causing opposing Offensive Coordinators to lose sleep. The only loss during this stretch was a Week 14 epic in Kansas City when Baltimore was victimized by Patrick Mahomes and his 4th and 9 crossfield Hail Mary to Tyreek Hill. (Marylander: CJ Mosley you better make that play when you have that chance again.) Not to mention they stormed into LA in front of a National Audience on a Saturday Night in Week 16 and upset a Super Bowl favorite in the Chargers. Having made up 4 games on the Steelers since Week 11 the Ravens have a chance to clinch the AFC North at home in Week 17 against the Browns. However unlike years past the Browns are not as terrible and also have an outside chance at a division title with a win and Pittsburgh loss. If the media wanted the Bills to make the playoffs last year oh they for sure want the Steelers to win the North. Good luck!
2018 Week 17: “Jackson with the keeper, right up the middle, he’s to the 15,10,5! TOUCHDOWN RAVENS! Lamar Jackson untouched with a Seam-Ripper and puts the Ravens back in front!” Thanks to the punishing ground game and the defense making life on Baker Mayfield rough the Ravens have a 20-7 lead at halftime. However in the 2nd Half Cleveland stormed back and cut the Baltimore lead to 2. With the Steelers already winning the Browns are officially eliminated but they still want to spoil the “Maryland Festivus.” Mayfield, and Jarvis Landry with the help of REFBALL torch the Ravens secondary all the way to the Baltimore 40. But then the Browns stall as they throw 3 straight incomplete passes. Once again the season comes down to 1 play. Will it lead to excitement unlike any other, or Harbaugh and the entire coaching staff losing their jobs. “A 4th and 10, and here they come Mayfields pass! (HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!) IS INTERCEPTED BY MOSLEY! And the Ravens are gonna take the Division!” CJ Mosley gave up the Immaculate Extension and the 4th and 12 and made up for it by pretending to blitz and and dropped back into coverage at the last second and got the INT. Marylander: Say it with me Jim Nantz! “Nantz: Hearts are broken in Pittsburgh!” That’s right, PLAYOFFS BABY!
2018 AFC Wild Card: The Ravens are completely outplayed in the 1st Round of the playoffs thanks to a stubborn Marty Mornigweig and are pegged to death by the LA Chargers. Even if fans were calling for the postseason legend known as Joe Flacco, Harbaugh wasn’t going to cause a controversy in the locker room. Poor Ozzie Newsome, he deserved a better sendoff than this.
2019 Offseason: The bad news despite the success of 2018 the Ravens have entered Cap Hell especially on the defensive side. Terrell Suggs, CJ Mosley, ZaDarius Smith, Eric Weddle, and Brent Urban are gone in a matter of days. Also the Ravens traded Joe Flacco to the Broncos for a few mid-round picks. Not only that, besides Ozzie Newsome retiring their long time PA announcer Bruce Cunningham retired in the summer that year. His replacement was the longtime voice of Navy in Greg Davis. Thank goodness their division rivals haven’t done anything, BOOM! That was until Cleveland sent a boatload of picks to the Giants for Odell Beckham. (Marylander: I bet you any money they brought him in just to knock our kicking net over AGAIN!) It’s ok, the Ravens responded to this saga by bringing in the big fishes of Earl Thomas and Mark Ingram. Yes those may be risks but they at least have solid upside on the field. Not to mention lets draft a highly touted receiver in Marquise “Hollywood” Brown. Looks like new GM Eric DeCosta is going all in on this new era. Not only that he brought in the read option mastermind in Greg Roman as the Offensive Coordinator. The biggest storyline of this offseason was a sweepstakes that they lost in. For weeks they and the Browns were competing for the services of DT Gerald McCoy only for him to sign in Carolina. Plus all Marylanders want the media’s head for the endless hype surrounding the Dawg Pound and the narrative of Lamar Jackson being declared as a Running Back or a Wide Receiver. Prove them wrong boys!
2019 Weeks 1-7: In a scene in which no one expected, Action Jackson goes from afterthought to MVP candidate. Despite injuries to Jimmy Smith, Brandon Williams, and Tony Jefferson the Ravens overcame a 2-2 start to return to contention status. In Seattle in Week 7 Jackson tells Harbaugh before a 4th and 2 at the Seahawks 8 “Hell yeah coach lets go for it! You want to go for it LETS GO!” “Jackson, first down, Touchdown!” What a call by Greg Roman on a 4th and short! That happened to be the only touchdown on offense that day as the defense led by a generational talent in Marcus Peters and the starting corner known as “Fruit Punch” Baltimore is now 5-2 lets see if this is the beginning of something special.
2019 Weeks 9-17: Following their Week 8 Bye Week, the Ravens come out of the break on FIRE! They knocked off the Undefeated Patriots in front of a Sunday Night Football audience, as well as shutting down the hot-shot Texans in a marquee matchup as well as unleashing the “Monday Night Massacre Part II” on the Rams the next week. Then came the epic against the 49ers in the pouring rain where the defense shut down the running machine of a Kyle Shanahan ran offense as Justin Tucker added another chapter to his storied career as he kicked the game winner at the buzzer through the raindrops. The final results, an NFL best 14-2 record and the best regular season in franchise history. All of their stars are in their primes, Action Jackson becoming the 2nd player ever to win an MVP unanimously, 4 players scoring over 7 touchdowns, a rock solid defense, and the most rushing yards by a team in league history. Just like 2006 they have the chance to host the best QB in football in the AFC Championship and all of the Marylanders are booking flights to Miami again. (Marylander: Miami, SOUTH BEACH BRINGING THE HEAT, UH!) Now don’t fail me again!
2019 AFC Divisional: YOU LOSE IN THE 1ST ROUND! IN A HOME PRIMETIME GAME! TO THE MICKEY MOUSE ORGANIZATION KNOWN AS THE TITANS! (Marylander: DERRICK BLEEPING HENRY!) Just like 2006 the Ravens lost in their 1st Playoff Game in front of a National Audience on a 70 degree night at M&T without even scoring a touchdown. And Dean Peas got his REVENGE! Excuse me I need a minute to explain my emotions after what I just witnessed. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (The Narrator/Marylander is dealing with a nightmare that has come true and is unable to speak, please hold up and try again later!) PAUSE.
Super Bowl LIV: Terrell Suggs goes on to win a Super Bowl with Kansas City along with former Ravens linebackers coach Steve Spagnuolo and executive Scott Piolli. I hate to say it even if we beat Tennessee I think we would have lost to the Chiefs anyways.
2020 Offseason: Well this the first offseason that the Ravens don’t have to deal with the Joe Flacco contract so they were able to bring back Marcus Peters and Chuck Clark. Not to mention they made another huge move by acquiring Calais Campbell from the Jaguars for a 5th Round Pick. In the draft they got 2 future stars in Patrick Queen and JK Dobbins. The only problem is with Earl Thomas, thanks to him being an idiot not only for talking smack before their playoff game against the Titans a year ago he had a few rough acts in the offseason including him punching Chuck Clark and missing team meetings to get his car washed. (The only reason the Ravens signed him was so that Cleveland couldn’t get anywhere near him.) At least his replacement DeShon Elliott looks like an absolute stud in the making. Let’s see how they back up the massive expectations. Even during the pandemic where their fans can only see them for 1 home game there at least is hope for a 3rd Super Bowl Championship.
2020 Weeks 1-12: The Ravens jumped out to a 6-2 start but questions were starting to click in about how long can they sustain this run heavy offense. Then came a 3 game losing streak where Baltimore was victimized by bad weather, REFBALL, and Greg Roman being very sloppy. I didn’t get to the worst part. They suffered the biggest COVID outbreak in the NFL by a good amount. The list includes Lamar Jackson, Mark Ingram, JK Dobbins, Willie Snead, Mark Andrews, Matt Skura, Patrick Ricard, Patrick Mekari, Calais Campbell, Brandon Williams, Justin Madibuike, Broderick Washington, Justin Ellis, Matt Judon, and Morgan Cox. Obviously their strength and conditioning coach Steve Saunders did not do a good job making sure he wore a mask inside the Under Armour Performance Center. At 6-5 everyone has now begun calling for Harbaugh and Romans heads. Let me guess, Lamar needs to save his job again!
2020 Weeks 13-17: This is the kind of late season run we come to expect, defensive players getting healthy, Lamar Jackson returning to MVP form, the receivers starting to step up despite plenty of criticism, and the run game getting productions from JK Dobbins and Gus Edwards. (Big Truss as a healthy scratch ok?) The main victory in this 5 game win streak was going into the heart of the Dawg Pound and silencing the narratives about how great the Browns are YET AGAIN! In the words of Action Jackson: “I was cramping, I ain’t pullin’ no Paul Pierce, I ain’t pullin’ no Paul Pierce. I was cramping Next question.” Shortly after that epic they stormed past Jacksonville, the Giants, and the Bungals. (Never talk smack again Jermaine Pratt!) The result is the 5th seed in the AFC Playoffs and a guaranteed rematch against those Titans again. Time to get some revenge.
2020 AFC Wild Card: Despite falling into a 10-0 hole thanks to Ryan Tannehill’s accurate passing and complimentary REFBALL, the Ravens stormed back for 17 unanswered points thanks to Mike Vrabel’s defense being no match for Lamar’s speed and Hollywood Brown. Despite the Titans trying to get the illustrious King Henry the ball he had no answers for Baltimore’s front 7. Leading by 7 with 2 minutes left the defense needs to stop the Tennessee attack. “Tannehill to throw, he throws it downfield (HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!!) INTERCEPTED BY MARCUS PETERS!” The so-called kids of Derrick Henry have beaten the King at his own game. Remember how the Titans stomped on the Ravens midfield shield in Week 11 and the playoffs last year. Here’s the reverse card. Karma is a salty game isn’t it.
2020 AFC Divisional: The next week following their epic victory against the Titans the defense stood up to the challenge and stopped the AFC’s #1 offense for much of the game. The bad news for them is that the Ravens offense couldn’t overcome the windy conditions of BillsMafia as Justin Tucker missed 2 field goals off of the uprights. Despite trailing 10-3 Lamar Jackson and company have charged their way to the Bills 9. Time to tie it up. “Jackson over the middle and it’s PICK OFF! Johnson, running away from the first line, only Jackson to beat, TARON JOHNSON IS GOING ALL THE WAY TOUCHDOWN BILLS!” Well that was a Troy Polamalu type dud of a play. At least there is a whole quarter to go and Lamar has encouraged his guys to step up and respond to the challenge. CRACK “Oh No, there’s a man down!” Poor Action Jackson, he felt like Joe Flacco at the end of the 2008 AFC Championship lying down on his back injured in the bitter cold. Thus ending the Ravens season yet again. In fact that was the 5 time in franchise history and 2nd year in a row that they have lost in the playoffs without scoring a touchdown. PAUSE.
You now understand how I feel about this team. This may be my hometown team but the thing is that the Ravens were my first love. They were the ones that got me into the NFL and the rest of the sports world. You might be asking yourself, Why am I doing this document? You see through 25 seasons of their history, the Ravens have won 2 Super Bowls and have had countless great players through their system. They are also an emotional roller coaster at times especially if they lose a big game in heartbreaking fashion or somehow pull off a miracle. The thing about this team that the city of Baltimore knows that other people don’t is that you never know what this team is going to do. They either amaze the media or they are frustrating other people and cause discussions concerning their future. Doing this document as well as Charm City Beasts has made me closer to them more than the time that I was as a little boy. From being in New Orleans to watch them win Super Bowl XLVII to being at perhaps the most painful game in franchise history a couple of years ago they always have a special place in my heart. I hope for more exciting moments and perhaps a Super Bowl Championship or 2 in the next several years. Take it away Real-Fan-Dan
Real-Fan-Dan: R! A! V! E! N! S! RAVENS!!!
Bragging Rights Sports 