Unlike previous weeks in which I have done my recaps based on what time they were played I have decided this week to do the unimportant games from the 1 and 4 PM timeslots first so we can get those games out of the window first. I will be doing one different scenario or race for a certain spot on the line instead of flip flopping those for example the NFC East. Anyways carry on.
Jets vs Patriots: This year has been a down year for Bill Belichick. Playing the Jets at home to end the season should be good closure. Despite trailing for much of the game the Patriots did just enough to salvage the end of a rough year. I will say though the Hoodie got the most of that team to go 7-9 despite missing several players on defense because of COVID outbreaks. Now watch them draft Mac Jones and continue the dynasty!
Vikings vs Lions: The Vikings are in the same situation as New England. A season of high hopes fell to the wasteside thanks to either choking or being completely unprepared. I will say though to go from 1-5 to nearly making the playoffs I think this should convince ownership to hold on to Mike Zimmer and Kirk Cousins. I will say this though they won’t be in cap hell despite a huge decision involving Adam Thielen. Rough luck!
Falcons vs Buccaneers: Well this is the kind of game where the Falcons do everything they can to mess up their tank. Against a Bucs team trying to lock up the 5 seed they got off to a slow start. The bad news for Tampa fans was that Mike Evans suffered a rough knee injury but it could be worse. It didn’t matter for them because Tom Brady and Antonio Brown went back to 2016 form and roasted the bad Atlanta for 44 points. Lucky for these Super Bowl Contenders they get to face the winner of the NFC East in the 1st Round as the 5th seed in the conference. For the sake of TB12 you better not face the Giants!
Raiders vs Broncos: Despite being out of the playoffs the Raiders are trying to cheer up their employees with a win over the Broncos. Derek Carr was doing everything he could to save his job by throwing for almost 400 yards and 2 touchdowns. Denver on the other hand was trying to save Vic Fangio’s job as well as they held a 7 point lead late in the game. Just like Week 17 last year, Las Vegas went down the field for 6 points with seconds left. Well Gruden made up his mind and said “LET’S END IT RIGHT NOW!” “Carr over the middle and Waller has it for the 2!” This time the Raiders convert the win or go home 2 point conversion unfortunately they aren’t making the playoffs but it’s a nice way to end the season for loyalty standards.
Chargers vs Chiefs: The Chiefs as expected chose to rest Mahomes, Kelce, and the Cheetah, plus several stars on defense for a potential playoff run. The only good thing they got to witness was Chad Henne getting a chance to start for the 1st time in 9 years. The good news for Chargers fans was that Justin Herbert added to his case for Rookie of the Year by torching KCs backups for 3 touchdowns. At least there is hope for next year once Derwin James comes back.
No that those games are out of the way we get to the games with real playoff stakes. First on the menu the 2nd Seed in the AFC if the Bills win they get the 2 seed, but if they lose and Pittsburgh wins the Steelers get the 2. Also in the AFC Wild Card race the Dolphins, Ravens, and Browns control their own destiny with a win and in each of their games. But if one of them loses and the Colts win Indy claims a spot.
Dolphins vs Bills: With FitzCeption testing positive for COVID the Dolphins have to ride Tua to save the season. The bad news for Miami was not the defense, at least Josh Allen didn’t put up the numbers he did last week in New England. It was the special teams and offense that cost the Phins. Buffalo scored 3 touchdowns on defense and in the kicking game and had great field position all day. They radled the Dolphins for 56 points and finally dominated against a Top 5 defense. With this statement the Bills get the 2nd seed. As for Miami they can only watch.
Steelers vs Browns: Since Pittsburgh really has nothing to play for they have only chosen to rest Big Ben, TJ Watt, Chris Boswell, and a few others. Early on the Steelers had no answers for Nick Chubb and the Browns running attack. They stormed out to a 24-9 lead but the fear of choking is in the minds of everyone in the Dawg Pound. Beginning at the start of the 4th quarter Mason Rudolph began to torch Clevelands secondary as the Yinzers stormed back. All they need is a 2 pointer and we are tied. “Rudolph to Claypool and it is incomplete, no flags!” Can they at least stop Cleveland on a 3rd and 1? NOPE! Pittsburgh’s efforts to play spoiler are gone, they are the 3 seed in the AFC with 4 losses in 5 games. If you’re a Browns fan you know what this means? The 18 year drought is over
Browns QUALIFIED (SUCCESS!): They got themselves a real coach and Baker Mayfield is playing the best ball of his young career. I know the players think they aren’t finished but at least they finally get a chance at returning to their old dominant ways in the 1950s, 1960s, and 1980s. Remember that Steelers team that you just beat, good luck facing a rested Leader of Men next week!
Ravens vs Bengals: (See Charm City Beasts Doc)
Our next trip takes us out to the AFC South as the Titans control their own fate against the Texans, if they lose and the Colts win Indianapolis claims the division and Tennessee is bumped to the Wild Card.
Jaguars vs Colts: With Miami’s defeat the Colts now are in a win and in situation. With that being said they jumped out to a 20-0 lead in the 2nd Quarter. Despite Jacksonville trying to win to maintain Doug Marrone’s job they stormed back to cut the Colts to 6. The Jags now have the chance to play spoiler and allow their Sunshine State neighbors to celebrate. Despite forcing an interception by Philip Rivers, the Jags couldn’t capitalize. Now it’s the Colts turn for the kill: “Taylor up the middle, jukes a man and could go! 20, 10, 5, TOUCHDOWN!” There’s the dagger right there that Indy was looking for. Dolphins your season is like a typical Miami boy at a party, you have all of the fun in the world, you find this good looking girl that falls for you, but here is the bad news, you left the party without the first kiss!
Dolphins ELIMINATED (YOU GET NOTHING YOU LOSE GOOD DAY SIR!): I will give these guys plenty of credit for the job that Brian Flores has done to assemble an elite defense, they got their QB of the future but they just came up short. Don’t worry you have plenty of cap space plus a Top 5 pick from the Texans. I think you will make moves this Spring! As for the Colts they have made it back to January football!
Colts QUALIFIED (SUCCESS!): I’m impressed! Their defense is one of the best in the NFL, and Philip Rivers might have his chance to win his first championship. Despite last week’s meltdown against Pittsburgh they overcame it and made the tournament. Now onward to BillsMafia!
Titans vs Texans: Tennessee has a chance to lock up the AFC South and a Round 1 date against their most hated rival. King Henry XXII has made his case for MVP with a 2000 yard season on the ground. With the weapons they have on offense they took a 31-15 lead. But if there is one thing about the Titans it’s that their defense cannot close out a game. Houston and Deshawn Watson stormed back for 21 unanswered points to take the lead, but Tennessee scored with 2 minutes left. Even if the Texans failed to win the game on their next drive at least we are likely headed to overtime. But there is no need for worries Nashville look at your high end talent “HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!” They took Indy’s hopes of a home playoff game and shattered it by means of that huge completion to AJ Brown not to mention them doinking the upright yet still converting the game winning field goal. Tennessee wins the game and the AFC South.
Titans QUALIFIED (SUCCESS!): I would say that they are a solid pick for another deep playoff run but they have major flaws on defense and in the receiver corp but Tannehill, Henry, and Brown are always there. They’re going to get payback in their face aren’t they!
The next stop on our journey is the fight for the Top Seed in the NFC as Green Bay controls their fate against their rivals from the Windy City, if they lose and the Saints win New Orleans gets it, if both lose and the Seahawks win the NFC goes through the 12th Man. Also in the NFC Wild Card race the Rams and Cardinals play each other. Whoever wins is in, if the Rams lose and Da Bears win Chicago is in, but if Chicago loses and Arizona wins LA earns the last spot.
Seahawks vs 49ers: First the Seahawks have to overcome a Niners team that is hoping to end the season. Despite being the winners of the Injury Bowl San Fran is trying everything they can to give teams the clue into figuring out Seattle’s offense. At first it worked as the 9er Gang led 16-6 going into the 4th. BOOM! Then Russell Wilson had to bail out his team yet again. Led by 3 4th Quarter TDs and the defense doing just enough to hold off San Francisco and finish their business. Now they must watch the others.
Saints vs Panthers: New Orleans once again is in a situation in which if they win the pressure is on their Wisconsin adversary to respond. Drew Brees and the Saints offense did their usual in game stunts by throwing the ball all over a soft Panthers defense and using the ground game to chew up that clock. If there is one thing that’s different about these guys than in the last few years it’s that their defense is now the strength of the team. Holding their old backup in Teddy Bridgewater to a single touchdown will do the trick. Now they must root for the Bears to beat the Pack.
Cardinals vs Rams: CRACK! Well if you thought that Jared Goff’s injury was game changing, Kyler Murray was also punished by the almighty Football Gods. Thus making this game a backup duel for a spot in the playoffs. Despite Arizona taking the early lead, the Rams stormed back by means of their defense scoring 9 of their next 12 points to lead 12-7. John Wolford was sluggish which is expected because the Cards have a decent secondary plus LA was down their 2 best runners. Even if Kyler Murray returned the Cardinals couldn’t get past the vaunted Rams defense. Now they must hear the hard truth, they are out of the playoffs AGAIN!
Cardinals ELIMINATED (YOU GET NOTHING YOU LOSE GOOD DAY SIR!): From 6-3 and the world in your hands after the Hail Murray play only to lose 5 and 7 and get denied. I will say though you really need an offensive line to protect Kyler. Plus I can only feel sad, Congratulations Arizona, you have successfully wasted the career of Larry Fitzgerald, a true legend that never tasted the Lombardi Trophy. POOR THING! At least for LA they overcame the odds and made the dance.
Rams QUALIFIED (SUCCESS!): I was wrong! I thought that they were a one hit wonder but thanks to their revived defense and mistake free offense they were able to overcome a weak finish and injuries to overcome a struggling NFC. As Aaron Donald said after the game we got what we wanted, a rubber match in Seattle!
Packers vs Bears: Well since the Seahawks and Saints won the Packers now have all of the pressure on them. Against a suddenly white hot Bears team Aaron Rodgers needs to pull out all of the stops to secure Home Field and a 3rd career MVP. Taking a 21-10 lead into the 2nd Half was just what the doctor ordered but the Bears cut it to 5 on 2 field goals. Lets see if Mitch Trubisky can spoil the fun of Wisconsin. “Trubisky over the middle and it is INTERCEPTED!” Right Mitch is a turnover chef as well. Green Bay locks up the #1 seed with the win. Bears at least you made the playoffs.
Bears QUALIFIED (SUCCESS!): Well everyone wrote them off after the Detroit game and ever since they were able to radle off 3 straight wins thanks to revised Trubisky as well as the front 7 plus they got some help. Now they must face the wonders of Bourbon Street next week.
The final stop on our Week 17 tour is the NFC East where the Giants and Cowboys play each other in the Meadowlands and the winner has to await the outcome of Hogs vs Eagles. If Washington wins Sunday Night they claim the division, but if they lose the winner of the Dallas and New York game claims the weakest division in the NFL.
Cowboys vs Giants: Dallas as of late has played better than almost any team in the NFC despite beating up on soft teams. In a must win matchup against the Giants they fell behind thanks to Daniel Jones flashing his talents the way the Giants fanbase has wanted him to do since he was drafted. Leading 20-9 New York was gaining all of the false hope that Philly left for them after last week. BOOM! Then dem Cowboys flashed their potential for a quarter as they cut the lead to 1 but thanks to some good old REFBALL the Giants were able to extend the lead. Then Dallas drove to the New York red zone and can put the dagger right here. “Dalton to throw and it is a wobbler and it’s PICKED OFF IN THE ENDZONE!” Well even the G-Men can’t make it easy on themselves the Cowboys are still in it. Remember the Elimination Room that they avoided? They might be heading back there if the Big Blue gets help from the officials. “After review the runner fumbled the ball yet regained possession of it, therefore it will be first down Giants.” NOW YOU’RE OUT!
Cowboys ELIMINATED FOR REAL (YOU GET NOTHING YOU STILL LOSE GOOD DAY SIR!): See what I did there. That’s Sports Blog Fishing! Give a team some life and a little hope and then YANK IT AWAY! All for not making it past the 2nd Round for the 25th straight year. HOW BOUT DEM COWBOYS!
Hogs vs Eagles: Now all of the GMens champagne, and balloons are in the hands of the Eagles. Philly holds a lot in the balance, do they win and smite one of their archrivals, or lose and smite one of their archrivals. I don’t know who they hate more? For the moment the Hogs took an early 10 point lead on the back of a revitalized Alex Smith. Despite 2 rushing TDs from Jalen Hurts to put Philly up 14-10, Washington regained the lead before the half. Now here comes the WEEKLY FOOTBALL FOLLIES! Doug Pederson is the prized winner for this week! Trailing by 3 at the start of the 4th, he decided to bench Hurts and not for Carson Wentz they put him on IR but for Nate Sudfeld and Greg Ward! It didn’t help because the Hogs front 4 led by Chase Young swarmed him and caused them to lose their confidence. I know everyone is saying that the Eagles did it so that they would get the 6th pick in the draft which is correct, but I don’t understand why they are so angry at this move. Only a brick wall could stop you, its name is the Eagles! HOWEVER THE REAL LOSER IS THE NEW YORK GIANTS! DUE TO THIS MESS UP THEY ARE ELIMINATED FROM THE PLAYOFFS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Giants ELIMINATED (YOU GET NOTHING YOU LOSE GOOD DAY SIR!): The moral of the story is simple New Yorkers, no matter who the team is in the NFL they will still find ways to break your heart. I know everyone is going to make excuses for Saquan being injured but the real reason they missed the playoffs was all of those games they choked in October! WAIT TIL NEXT YEAR BOYS! Nation’s Capital thanks to this meltdown they are crowned champions of the NFC East!
Hogs QUALIFIED (SUCCESS!): What an amazing story despite the turmoil in the organization. Alex Smith and Ron Rivera overcame life threatening events to return to the football field plus their defense looks very tough to beat. Considering that both teams that have had losing records in the playoffs won their first game it might happen again. BRING ON THE BUCS!
Well it’s been a great regular season full of drama, excitement, and craziness for everyone in football. The end of the most unpredictable season in the NFLs 101 year history has arrived. I want to thank all of the people that helped make this possible. All of the recaps that were shown to you on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, or Thursdays gave the entire family a laugh or two I hope. Now that the regular season is over it’s on to the playoffs. FYI Charm City Beasts is on the way and it should be a classic too.
Bragging Rights Sports 