Chargers vs Raiders: Santa has come with gifts and toys for everyone in the league. Raiders let’s peek inside your stocking and see what he’s got for you this year? Why it’s another injury to Derek Carr which means that their injury prone backup Marcus Mariota has been thrust into the lineup. In my opinion he played very well considering the limited amount of action he got. The bad news is that Vegas had no answers for Justin Herbert all night, in the words of ESPNs Marcus Spears anyone can torch the Raiders secondary. Just like their last matchup it comes down to the Chargers getting a chance to win. They drove down to the 1 yard line with the chance at a stolen game. “Herbert sneaks it in, is he in? YES! Touchdown Game Over! The Chargers are the ones bringing the San Diego luck to their opponents. Way too mess up your own tank!
Bills vs Broncos: Broncos your stocking this year features a smackdown that you will dislike a lot. It can’t be shocking when you run into a Buffalo Bills stampede. Denver had no answers for Josh Allen and the Bills passing attack. The one thing I have noticed in the Bills is that they look so much like the Chiefs. A pass heavy offense with speed and talent as well as an underrated defense. The Broncos have a turnover machine in Drew Lock, that is enough to do the trick. BillsMafia has received their greatest Christmas gift in years, Their first AFC East Title in 25 years, well at least they got to see their fans for the first time this year when they came home.
Panthers vs Packers: Green Bay has a chance to do some serious damage. Considering the brutal schedule that New Orleans has had in the past few weeks and Aaron Rodgers becoming the first QB to throw 40 touchdowns in a season 3 times the NFC may have just gotten its worst Christmas present this year. Having to go through Lambeau in January. The Packers played ok against a Panthers team trying to gain hope for their fans but they did just enough to win. All you need to do next week is beat the Titans and the #1 seed is all but yours.
Lions vs Titans: Look yonder Titans and see your rewards! It happens to be one step closer to a home playoff game with a win over a pretender in the Lions. King Henry XXII once again proved why he is trying to become the 2nd player in franchise history to rush for 2000 yards in a season. (Eric Dickerson you might get some company in the record books.) This game was about how Ryan Tannehill once again has the potential to lead these guys on a deep playoff run thanks to a few long touchdown passes. The Lions had no answers for Tennessee’s front 7 all day which is very shocking. Titans here is a pin to commemorate the knockout of the Raiders!
Raiders ELIMINATED (YOU GET NOTHING YOU LOSE GOOD DAY SIR!): What Vegas just witnessed is roughly a 24 on the Cleveland Scale! Horrible pain and agony as a 6-3 start was undone by the equal to the bank robbery. Gruden please get a real defensive coordinator!
Bears vs Vikings: Chicago still has a chance to make the playoffs. They need to win out by all costs. This week’s challenge is against a Vikings team trying to stay alive as well. Unlike last year Mitch Trubisky was not the turnover chef and in this game might have just saved his and Matt Nagy’s jobs with a strong performance in a game where his city needed the most. Despite Da Bears being no match for Dalvin Cook and Justin Jefferson they held a 3 point lead with a few minutes left. Forcing a turnover on downs to protect a 3 point great job boys now run out the clock! YOU DIDN’T! At least you’re up by 6 and Minnesota would need a Hail Mary to win this game, “Cousins is just going to chuck it up and it is knocked up and intercepted GAME OVER!” Once again the Vikings get coal in their Christmas stockings and their Legacy of Failure adds another chapter to it!
Vikings ELIMINATED (YOU GET NOTHING YOU LOSE GOOD DAY SIR, ARE YOU KIDDING ME THE SEASON CAN’T END LIKE THAT!): It does end like that Skolheads! Despite having one of the best offenses in franchise history their defense was doomed by cap hell last offseason and most of their remaining guys are declining rapidly. The truth indeed hurts Lizzo!
Patriots vs Dolphins: This might be the moment where the Patriots luck has run out. They are playing a Miami team that looks like a Super Bowl Contender the last few weeks. Early on New England’s defense dominated the Dolphins offense and Tua could do nothing. Then you realize Belichick once again dealt with the Curse of the Miami Miracle. New England’s offense was shut down once again as they are imitating the 2000 Ravens stretch when they went 5 games without a touchdown now going 9 quarters without an offensive touchdown. At least their defense can hold them! BOOM! That is where you are wrong, the Dolphins scored all 22 of their points in the second half as they remained in control of their own destiny. Congratulations Patriots your season is officially a Helmet Catch!
Patriots ELIMINATED (YOU GET NOTHING YOU LOSE GOOD DAY SIR!): They were weakened thanks to players opting out thanks to COVID and no Tom Brady to save them, it’s not like I jinxed them OH RIGHT I had them going to the playoffs and winning the division! I knew I should have picked the Bills!
Texans vs Colts: The Texans can play a huge spoiler. The Colts are trying to maintain their Wild Card spot and potentially gain hold of the AFC South but the nerve of allowing a division rival to keep up with them is always there. Early on the Colts dominated their foes by taking a 14 point lead but this is Deshawn Watson and he always has tricks up his sleeves. That trick was a second half comeback to tie the game. Come on Texans, you have Indy on the ropes and all you need to do is stop them on a 3rd and 20. CRACK! Are you kidding me! It’s as if Bill O’Brien never left at all! Don’t worry guys despite the Colts 7 point lead Watson will bail out the Texans for roughly the 11th time in his career just watch. “Watson throws it and it is caught and the BALL IS ON THE GROUND! AND IT IS IN THE ENDZONE AND RECOVERED BY INDIANAPOLIS!” Just like 2 weeks ago the Texans lost to their rivals by fumbling at the 1 yard line. Colts you got lucky and the Christmas Elfs gave you a get out of the playoff hunt free card, now onward to YinzerLand.
49ers vs Cowboys: As I foolishly believed Dallas still has a chance to win the soft NFC East. It requires winning out and Washington Philly and New York to shoot themselves in the foot. Against a 49ers team that is dead on arrival they shredded their defense for most of the game, even if San Fran had a massive comeback in the works they still came up short against Dem Cowboys. Next week Dallas gets to face their old foe in the Eagles for a chance at an unlikely push at the playoffs. GUARANTEED!
Jaguars vs Ravens: Even in a week that features a massive blowout win for Baltimore, the Ravens still have to deal with the media trying to plot a classic rom-com featuring them and their rivals. That means I need to separate the game from the Weekly Recaps again.
Seahawks vs Hogs: Washington has the chance to potentially wrap up the division if they can just win against the Seahawks. In this game Hogs witnessed was a Seattle team that was angry. And even with Dwane Haskins they still couldn’t do a thing against one of the worst defenses in the league. Normally Seattle would beat you throwing the ball, but in this game it was the running abilities of Russell Wilson and a bunch of backup running backs. Their reward was a late minute win resulting in an entry back to playoff status.
Seahawks QUALIFIED (SUCCESS!): I would say the defense is a mystery box that is inconsistent at times but the talent on offense is still there. They’re gonna fall to Green Bay again aren’t they.
Jets vs Rams: LA can you explain what is going on! You’re a 17 point favorite at home against a team going for 0-16, you’re a Super Bowl Contender and just squashed the hopes and dreams of New England, AND THEN YOU DO THAT! Jared Goff for much of the game returned to rookie form by giving the ButtFumble momentum. But this is the Jets and they will always blow a huge lead at the worst. Thanks to the help of REFBALL and Sam Darnold going ice cold the Rams cut the lead to 3. As long as they get New York’s offense off the field they are good, “Darnold throws it and it is COMPLETE TO GORE AND THERE IT IS! There’s the Jets we know and love messing up their own tank to enjoy victory for once! (GAME OVER YEAH!) You can all but hand the 1st Pick and Trevor Lawrence to the Jags.
Eagles vs Cardinals: Philly saw what happened against New Orleans last week and said to themselves you know what I think we can make the playoffs again! The only thing that they wanted to avoid was a defeat this week. Against the Cardinals their defense checked out for much of the game. The Eagles had no chance for Kyler Murray all game. Despite trailing 16-0 Jalen Hurts showed off his skillset by nearly single handedly getting Philadelphia back in the game. There’s a chance, nah Kliff Kingsbury would have the last laugh as Arizona keeps its hopes at a Wild Card alive thanks to a narrow win. Philly please beat Dallas next week so we can all laugh at Jerry Jones again. COUNT ON IT!
Chiefs vs Saints: In unsurprising news to all of Bourbon Street, Drew Brees has returned from injury to lead the Saints towards their first Super Bowl in a decade. The bad news for them is that New Orleans has to face Kansas City right away. The Saints despite their talent on defense were no match for the Chiefs speed and Bazooka of a QB. The one thing I notice about KC is that their defense is sneaky good. When they have had to play the best teams they for the most part have stepped up. Even if Patrick Mahomes had a few miscues, Full Reid was avoided as the Chiefs escaped an epic comeback by New Orleans with yet another statement win. The NFLs version of the Presidents Trophy (even though in this league it doesn’t exist) is all but yours.
Browns vs Giants: Why did I trust the Giants to do the Ravens a favor by beating Cleveland this week. This game in no means should have been in Primetime, anytime a team has an offense led by a Clipboard Crusader in Colt McCoy there is no chance at victory. To me the main reason the Browns dominated their foes was not because of Baker Mayfield or Nick Chubb, it was their defense. Turns out that Denzel Ward’s return gave the secondary the spark they needed but they have to play a Jets team that is willing to mess up their tank and of course Pittsburgh. OH BOY!
Giants you may have lost a great chunk of playoff ambitions with a white hot opponent on the horizon next week but you get a special prize this Christmas. This week’s title of “FOOTBALL FOLLIES!” This game proved exactly why Freddie Kitchens should be nowhere near being an offensive play calling. Faking a Field Goal on 4th and Goal with a chance at an early lead plus terrible decisions in the Redzone throughout the game resulted in only 6 points and horrible pain. If you took your points you would have won the game boys!
Steelers vs Bengals: Stop me when you have heard this story. The Steelers were playing down to competition in a game they should have dominated. Against the Bungals JuJu decided to dance on the Cincinnati logo more often than catching the ball, I wonder what management is going to do with him this offseason now that he might be a Free Agent. The Leader of Men got no help from Benny Snell or anyone in the absence of James Connor. As for the defense, they were scorched all night by Ryan Finley. This is why you don’t count your chickens before they are hatched Yinzers. Now they have the Colts and Browns in Weeks 16 and 17 and as a fan of a rival I have now choice but to root for them. Please win both games for the sake of your city as well as Baltimore! We don’t want to be one upped by Cleveland!
With 2 weeks left in the season the playoff race is anyone’s game but there could be several crazy plot twists that will play out in Week 17.
AFC
#1 Chiefs
#2 Bills
#3 Steelers
#4 Titans
#5 Browns
#6 Colts
#7 Dolphins
In the hunt
Ravens
In the AFC Kansas City is likely the 1 seed with Pittsburgh’s latest slide. And have the AFC West locked up.
The Steelers would secure the 2 seed if they win out and the Bills lose to the Dolphins.
Buffalo would claim the 2 seed if they win out and the Steelers lose to the Colts.
Tennessee holds the lead in the AFC South but faces a challenge in the Packers next Sunday Night. So if they lose the game they would need Indy to lose to Pittsburgh next week to remain ahead of them.
Cleveland however can’t clinch next week but they will need to win against both the Jets and Steelers to end the drought.
Indianapolis plays the Steelers next week and if they win and the Titans lose they have the division all but locked up.
Miami has the hardest survival. They need to win out which is highly unlikely because they play the Raiders and Bills on the road to end the season to make it to the playoffs. If they struggle, then they would need the Ravens to lose.
Finally we have Baltimore. Who still has a chance to begin another unexpected deep run because if they win against the Giants and Bengals plus a loss by either the Browns, Dolphins, or Colts it would begin the Annual Maryland Festivus.
NFC
#1 Packers
#2 Seahawks
#3 Saints
#4 Hogs
#5 Rams
#6 Buccaneers
#7 Cardinals
In the hunt
Bears
Giants
Cowboys
Eagles
All Green Bay has to do next week is beat the Titans and the #1 seed is theirs.
Seattle must win out or go 1-1 with the Rams or Cardinals to lose out to claim their division.
New Orleans still leads the NFC South and a win next week will lock up their 4th straight division crown.
Washington needs a win and a Giants loss next week to lock up the weakest division in football.
The Rams need a win to clinch the Wild Card.
The Bucs same deal.
Arizona needs a win and a Bears loss to lock up the 7 spot.
In the hunt the Bears will need to win out and the Cards to lose to LA or San Fran to get in.
New York needs to either win out and the Hogs to lose to Philly or Carolina, or go 1-1 with Washington losing out.
Dallas needs to win out, the Giants to lose out, and the Hogs to lose in Week 17.
Philly has the hardest road of the 3 NFC East teams in the hunt. They need to win out, Washington to lose out, the Giants to lose to the Ravens, and the Cowboys to lose to the Giants.
HERE ARE THE RULES!!! DON’T GET ELIMINATED!!!
Bragging Rights Sports 