Patriots vs Rams: New England was foolishly trying to convince themselves that they can still make the playoffs. That talk is all but dead now. They had no answers for Aaron Donald and the Rams D all night long. Even when Cam had a solid game in terms of passing yards they still get embarrassed. This game felt like the Ravens Titans playoff game last year. Because every time the Patriots moved the ball into LA territory, they made bold decisions that failed miserably. With the 24-3 win the Rams control their own destiny. Just survive the final 3 games and the division is all but yours McVay!
Cardinals vs Giants: Remember when every talking head was calling the Giants being Super Bowl Contenders last week!? That talk has been put on hold once again, in a matchup that everyone thought that they would dominate against a Cardinals team stuck in quicksand the G-Men laid a massive egg. Their so-called elite defense let up over 400 yards of offense against Kyler Murray who hasn’t played well since that epic against the Bills. Daniel Jones’ return was similar to how he has played throughout the year. Soft, uninspiring, and off course. Cards thank you for saving your season and exposing these Classic New Yorkers who thought they were real contenders.
Chiefs vs Dolphins: Oh boy we might have a shocker. The Dolphins were so far doing the unthinkable! They were up 10-0 against the defending champs on their home soil that KC invaded last February. I think the AFC is anyone’s game! BOOM! This is what happens when you take your foot off the gas and start celebrating against the Chiefs. As usual the Legion of Zoom once again proved why they are the favorites to repeat despite the Ketchup King throwing 3 picks. In this game Miami was slaying the dragon for 1 ½ quarters but then woke up the Chiefs defense, Tyreek Hill and Mecole Hardman who drowned the Phins and Tua in the Atlantic. I know the Dolphins host the Patriots next week but Belichick is looking to spoil the 305s Holiday Party in every form there is!
Cowboys vs Bengals: An uninspiring matchup despite being Andy Dalton’s homecoming is classified as a tank bowl! The Bungals are cooked once again but this time they need a game changer on defense or a top flight offensive linemen. Dem Cowboys might be lost and have no hope at the playoffs they still have talent and whenever they see a weak squad they crush them. Burrow you better come back because you’re the only hope for this team to not get squished by the AFC North menace.
Titans vs Jaguars: The Titans following their near comeback against Cleveland picked up the momentum from the second half of that game against a Jags team that just wants to find its first franchise QB since Mark Brunell. Tennessee crushed them by means of Ryan Tannehill, AJ Brown, and some outstanding defense. King Henry XXII had one big run but Jacksonville held him in check for several moments in that game despite gaining 215 yards. As long as they are ahead of the Colts, Titans fans will accept this season. RIGHT!?
Texans vs Bears: Chicago I have one question to ask. WHERE HAS THIS TYPE OF EXPLOSION ON OFFENSE BEEN! I know you were facing a trash team in the Texans but where was this since Week 5-6? Da Bears realized that the McCaskey’s would likely blow it up if they lost this game so they were like “WHOOPS, LET’S GO BACK TO 2018 FORM AND SAVE COACH NAGY ONCE AND FOR ALL! You do realize that Chicago has to win out if they have any chance at making the playoffs. FYI you have to play the Packers at home to end the season in one of those games.
Broncos vs Panthers: (TANK BOWL) CMC against his Dad’s Old Team. That storyline is interesting but Denver still wants to pretend that Drew Lock is the future of the team and Vic Fangio is still a decent coach. In this case the Broncos stormed right past Carolina by means of special teams play and limiting the Panthers offense for much of the second half. Really Panthers, you guys want a new stadium for crying out loud. Isn’t Bank of America only 23 years old. You guys are as desperate as Dan Snider is!
Vikings vs Buccaneers: #TompaBay is in must win territory. After heartbreaking losses to KC and LA at home they need someone to beat up on right. That team just happened to be the Vikings. Thanks to Tom Brady’s quick passes plus some help from REFBALL the Bucs once again have optimism. Minnesota lets chat for a minute. I know you’re 6-7 following a huge loss against the Bucs but I will say this. If you win out you can get several of your star players on expiring contracts on your side even if you miss the playoffs all together. I ask for you to do these steps and also get a QB that can win against contenders unlike Kirk Cousins.
Saints vs Eagles: This game screams Trap Game for the Saints. They are trying to maintain the Top Seed in the NFC, a QB controversy could hit them, plus they are playing an Eagles team that is doing everything they can to save Doug Pederson, Marty Moringweg, and Howie Roseman’s jobs. They bench their lord and savior Carson Wentz for a flashy rookie in Jalen Hurts. The one thing I will say about Philly is that they look a lot different with Hurts under center. To me this is similar to when Lamar Jackson took over for Joe Flacco, Why? Because Moringweg has used the exact same designed plays that he used in 2018 with the Ravens. This thinking would lead to a 17-0 lead at halftime. It would have been worse if Jake Elliott decided to hit the uprights on a chip shot! Thus New Orleans got the momentum and stormed back in the game. All Philly had to do was keep going on the fastlane to victory. “Hurts is gonna sneak it, did he get the first down? Yes BALLGAME! Are the Eagles doing this nonsense on purpose? They have done this late season magic ever since the playoffs in 2017. If they win the division I will do a monkey dance for 5 whole minutes. COUNT ON IT!
Colts vs Raiders: Vegas this is why you needed to put the Jets away early last week. Because you knew that this would happen. The Colts still have their doubters, but they silenced them ever since TY Hilton bolted right by the Raiders secondary. Philip Rivers had something to prove in this game. And he did, good news for Colts fans is that he doesn’t have the Curse of San Diego on his back at the moment. With the win Indianapolis controls its own destiny at the Wild Card, as for Vegas DOOMSDAY HAS OCCURRED!
Packers vs Lions: The Lions despite the clutch win in Chicago last Sunday have walked themselves into a “Booby Trap!” That trap is the machine that is Green Bay! Aaron Rodgers did to Detroit in this game just like what he has done to them for 15 years. Destroy their hopes and dreams. Matt Stafford was cooked by the Pack for a chunk of the game despite having some good moments as usual in garbage time. Despite the Lions trying to keep up with Rodgers and the Packers it was too late. With this win Green Bay officially locks up the NFC North again.
Packers QUALIFIED! (SUCCESS!): The drafting of Jordan Love ticked off Aaron Rodgers so much that he decided to return to 2011 form and they actually put together several 60 minute efforts unlike last year. If the NFC goes through Lambeau, prepare for the insufferability of Cheeseheads everywhere.
Hogs vs 49ers: Hey Hogs great job on the win last week in Pittsburgh! Lets see what you can do for an encore. That encore would be smashing the 9ers hopes and dreams at any hopes of the playoffs. Nick Mullens was no match for Washington’s front 7 and much improved secondary. What Ron Rivera has done with that team since he and Chase Young arrived has turned a basement dweller into a dark horse team. Despite the huge lead San Fran had the chance to erase it with a final drive but WAIT HERE COMES SOME GLORIOUS REFBALL! A holding penalty that led to Washington stopping the 9er Gang on downs. Bay Area the Super Bowl Hangover is in full effect!
49ers ELIMINATED! (YOU GET NOTHING YOU LOSE GOOD DAY SIR!): This year I will give them an asterisk since Nick Bosa, Jimmy G, and George Kittle all went down, plus they couldn’t open camp this past summer until 2 weeks before Opening Day because of COVID as well as playing home games in Glendale, AZ to end the season. TOUGH LUCK!
Jets vs Seahawks: This was the statement game Seattle needed. WHOO HOO you beat the Buttfumble which is the easiest game you will get on your schedule this year. Plus Jamal Adams played up to his potential for the first time in weeks against the team that traded him this past summer. Jets fans stop saying that the Seahawks would have struggled if Greg Williams wasn’t fired! Their offense is that good and you know it! Russel Wilson had his first great game in a few weeks thanks to his receiving core flashing their true potential. Now all eyes are the last 3 games.
Falcons vs Chargers: 2 of the most hard lucked franchises going at it with no hope. TANK BOWL TIME! The question during this game is that who will be the first to not squander a huge lead. First off it was the Chargers led by Justin Herbert plus their defense finally playing up to their abilities. But in an unexpected plot twist Atlanta would then take control of the game with a 17-10 lead at half time. Despite the Bolts storming back to tie the game at 17-17 the game resolved into a defensive struggle which is unlike previous games with these 2 teams. BOOM! Then the Falcons shoot themselves in the foot again. Just when Matt Ryan is about to bail them out again he gives it right back to LA with an interception. Now the Chargers special teams unit can put this game to bed. “The kick by Badgley is RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE!” Atlanta once again chokes a game they easily should have won AGAIN!
Steelers vs Bills: For the first time in the history of Sunday Night Football the scene of the action is in the heart of BillsMafia. If this were a regular basis this would be the biggest holiday party in town. In the beginning it would be a defensive struggle that was due to the bad weather in Buffalo with Pittsburgh landing the first punch. Just when the Steelers would get the statement win they needed (WHOOPS) Big Ben threw a pick 6 that gave the Bills the momentum. In the second half the so-called invincible Stillers defense was torched by the Bills passing attack as the Leader of Men and his pass heavy offense couldn’t respond. Thus giving the Bills the reward of another playoff berth.
Bills QUALIFIED! (SUCCESS!): I’m impressed! Josh Allen looks like Jim Kelly 2.0 with how he has been playing. They will be a treat to watch if they continue the momentum they have despite horrible weather that is in the area for most of their home games. Good job boys!
Steelers, don’t think we forgot about you! Despite the loss and potential deathblow to #1 seed ambitions they at least get the return of the “Annual March of the Yinzers.”
Steelers QUALIFIED! (SUCCESS!): Despite Big Ben turning the clock back, and the defense being a sack heavy force they have serious flaws on both sides of the ball. Despite most of their 11 wins being a result of REFBALL you can never take this team lightly because they always have tricks up their sleeves!
Ravens vs Browns: (See Charm City Beasts Document for true Marylander salt)
I think we need to dive into this week’s edition of “FOOTBALL FOLLIES”! The winner this week is the offense of the Naval Academy. In their rivalry game this past weekend against their adversary in the Army they tried to run an end around reverse which is something the Navy would never do. The first reverse was successful but when the running back handed it to the receiver, the wideout was trying to throw a pass but instead was tackled by Army for a safety! Also another narrative from the Navy was dead as they were shut out by the Army for the first time in a long time one week after their Senior Day win streak that dated back to 2002 ended. Sorry voice of M&T Bank Stadium (Greg Davis) I had to do it to you!
Bragging Rights Sports 