Tonight on Charm City Beasts! A statement in Prime Time on home soil leads to their greatest test yet. Despite the win over a pretend team in the Cowboys the Purple and Black realize that they have greater battles to fight down the stretch. An NFL insider stated on a public form that Dez Bryant’s positive test was a total lie. Even though he was placed on the COVID list they said that it was due to a glitched testing system that caused most of the players that missed the Pittsburgh game to test positive. In the department of Action Jackson he is once again having fun which means good news for Ravens fans and bad news for their opponents. Just like in 2018 he is the centerpiece of any hope that Baltimore has from saving John Harbaugh’s again. In terms of injuries the only concerns are on Jimmy Smith, and Calais Campbell. Both missed a couple of days of practice but both should be a go come game time. Knowing the injury history of Smith he may be questionable every week but you know he’s fine when it’s a big game. Despite the Ravens still being on the outside looking into the playoffs after the win on Tuesday Night, Chiefs Tight End Travis Kelce believes that the team that Kansas City doesn’t want to face in the playoffs is Baltimore. He stated if their defense is healthy and Lamar turns the clock back to Weeks 9-12 of 2019 they could challenge us for the AFC Title. At least someone outside of the Charm City believes in the Purple and Black.
This next game may be the biggest game of the season for the Ravens. Not only is a playoff spot and potentially Harbaugh and the entire offensive staff’s jobs on the line they now face an adversary that wants their heads in their near empty trophy case. CLEVELAND! Just like in Week 1 the Browns are coming into this game with plenty of optimism and their fanbase and (even though he is injured) OBJ are gloating about how they are going to crush Baltimore once and for all to get payback on Ozzie Newsome and the late Art Modell. This game ironically is on the 25th Anniversary of the Browns last game at Municipal Stadium. All the Marylanders want to see is Big Brother curb stomping Cleveland on their home soil on National TV again!
Like the game against Pittsburgh in Week 8 the serious tone narrator has returned. This matchup of AFC North powers begins with optimism in the Dawg Pound being sky high due to screen passes and play action plays which led to the Browns going down the field for an opening drive touchdown. But here is the thing about the Ravens, they may be masters of shooting themselves in the foot in some games but they also have the ability to play up to great challenges when everyone thinks they’re done. It’s one of the more confusing things about this team over the past 20 years. As Action Jackson needs to make the media once again eat their words he once again is trying to overcome the bad field conditions in Cleveland. The Brownies achilles heel has been exposed! They cannot stop the Ravens high end rushing attack, it turns out that their game plan of forcing Jackson to throw outside the numbers has failed. The answer to Clevelands punch is a counterpunch by means of an opening drive touchdown for Baltimore. Throughout the first half both teams would trade blows and despite the Ravens trying to open up the game it was not surprising to see Cleveland answer the Roman Empire by more play action plays and complimentary REFBALL. Even as the Purple and Black went down the field for a touchdown before the half there is optimism for both sides.
The second half would be as tight as the first half. Action Jackson and Gus the Bus ran right by those Dawgs in route to a 14 point lead. But there is one thing that worries Ravens fans despite the cushion, Baker Mayfield always goes down swinging! Just like in Week 17 of 2018 the Browns offense woke up in the second half and went down the field for a touchdown but luckily missed the extra point. Despite the offense going cold for a drive the defense plucks the Baker and gift wraps JK Dobbins a free touchdown. Despite the Browns getting a hand on the PAT from Tucker the Ravens led by 14 again, there is only 1 thing that is missing at the moment (CRACK) Action Jackson! He was suffering from leg cramps and disappeared into locker room, thus Baltimore had to rely on TikTok sensation Trace McSorley to lead them to absolute meh. The Browns took advantage and put up 8 points of their own thanks to more sloppy play from Wink Martindale’s defense. Strangely enough, Action Jackson was still in the locker room and was hurting pretty badly. Some are saying he had a long bathroom break but the real reason is severe cramps. Thus the worst fears of every Ravens fan had come true. They were once again blowing a huge lead in a must win game. People were blaming the field conditions for this one. AREN’T YOU GUYS PROUD! LOOK AT THIS DEFENSE BEND! LOOK AT THEM GIVE UP A BOATLOAD OF YARDS TO A TEAM MISSING THEIR 2 BEST RECEIVERS AND LET THE COCKY QB FROM OKLAHOMA ROAST THEM! They burned 6 minutes of clock on their go ahead touchdown drive leaving 6 minutes left in the game! IS THIS TEAM CURSED SINCE THE 2014 AFC CHAMPIONSHIP! WHY ISN’T LAMAR IN THE GAME! BOOM! ARE YOU SERIOUS! Now we have no QB because our 2 active QBs are both injured. WAIT A MINUTE ACTION JACKSON IS BACK ON THE FIELD! (Touchdown to Hollywood Brown on the 4th and 5) HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!! Just when you think this team is done they pull a rabbit out of their hats just in time for the Maryland Festivus! The bad news is that Baker drove the Browns down the field and the Dawg Pound into a frenzy! If this were a regular basis with 68,000 screaming Clevelanders it would be our players saying “MOM IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN” on our sidelines! Now Lamar once again has the chance to prove his passing game is no fluke. 5 straight completions will answer that debate. Come my friends and let us pray to football gods. Heavenly Father please give us the chance to win the game of year so that we can save our season and plenty of jobs. Give us the swagger we have been lacking since the Ray Lewis and Ed Reed era. We ask for you to allow Justin Tucker to stake his claim as the GOAT of Kickers. AMEN! Jerry Sandusky: “Tucker’s kick is up and it is GOOD! Justin Tucker from 55 yards out, and with 2 seconds left to play the HEY IS IN BARN!” Ravens fans you know what this means, FULL MARYLANDER REACTIVATED!!! (THE RAVENS ARE GOING TO RUN THE TABLE AGAIN!!!) (YES!!!) (OH MY GOD, CRACK UP THE 7 NATION ARMY BECAUSE WE ARE GOING TO RULE THE FOOTBALL WORLD AGAIN!!!)
Really Dawg Pound, what do you have to say for yourselves now! All of the chest thumping you guys did this past week on the Today Show and every sports talk show, all of the nonsense about how this was going to be the moment where the Curse of Art Modell would be lifted! Yet we are still in 2018 and 2019. It’s almost identical to those 2 years yet it is somehow even worse. Denzel Ward decided to be an idiot and get injured in practice AGAIN! Cleveland goes into a huge game against their old franchise on National TV and lays a massive egg AGAIN! And the Browns squandered a team that should have beaten the aging Ravens on paper AGAIN! Only this time you had the chance to make Baltimore be on the other side of the 2 longest playoff droughts in all of sports coming to end and lost too. Let’s be honest, was it really worth it? You made strides. You got a potential Big 3 at Wideout once OBJ comes back next year. Your offensive line is one of the best in the NFL. But what happened? The majority of the secondary didn’t show up when needed AGAIN! Baker Mayfield played a God against Wink Martindale’s defense but lost AGAIN! THE DEFENSE WAS GARBAGE AGAIN! Miles Garrett was exposed by the Ravens O-Line AGAIN! YOUR BIGGEST PROBLEM AT THE END OF THE GAME WAS YOURSELVES AGAIN!!! Remember how you guys owned Bungals in the 1980s, you’re in Cincy’s shoes now! Enough with that talk let’s send it over to the Marylander for his opinion.
Marylander: This game may have been the greatest regular season game in Ravens history if they go on a deep playoff run. My favorite part of the game was when Lamar did his best Michael Jordan impersonation from the 1997 NBA Finals! It was one of most frantic nights that any Baltimore Sports fan is gonna have. I was yelling at my TV for much of the game because of unfair REFBALL in the Browns favor. This was impossible, THE REFS ARE ALWAYS AGAINST COACH JOHNNY YET WE BEAT THEM TOO! When Justin Tucker walked it off I went out to my 2008 Toyota Highlander and was blasting 7 Nation Army, For Whom the Bell Tolls, Hot in Herre, and The Streets have No Name! LET ME TELL YOU THIS NFL! “RAVENS GOIN TO DA SUPA BOWL!” Narrator: Calm down buddy we still have to win out to make the playoffs again. (Find out if the Ravens can keep it up when Charm City Beasts returns next week!)
Bragging Rights Sports 