Giants vs Eagles: So if both teams are stuck in bad times yet trying to win would you call it a tank bowl… ITS A TANK BOWL! The first time that the Eagles have been in one of these since 2012. The Giants are doing everything they can to save Daniel Jones or Dave Gettleman’s job. Storming back from a 10-7 deficit to lead 21-10 when Philadelphia has no momentum. Well there goes Philly’s chances at the playoffs. BOOM! But the Giants narrative of late game collapses on defense was back and better than ever. The Eagles talents and abilities were unlocked as they scored 2 touchdowns in the last 4 minutes. Carson Wentz is literally carrying them back in the race for the NFC East title. One phrase describes Gettleman’s and Danny Dimes thinking: YOU GET NOTHING! YOU LOSE! GOOD DAY SIR!
Bills vs Jets: Sam Darnold is off the injured list and has returned to being the signal caller for the Jets as they take on a Bills team looking for a bounceback performance after 2 straight losses. In this game the Jets took an early and ONCE AGAIN Buttfumbled that lead as Darnold gave the Bills D easy picks and turnovers as Buffalo survived this game with an ugly win. If I am Sean McDermott I need more production on offense. 18 points against a bad team won’t do it.
Lions vs Falcons: Arthur Blank has made it very clear this week that the Falcons will keep Matt Ryan and Julio Jones for the rest of the season instead of trading them. A game against a pretend team in the Lions should be an example of why they are here to stay. In this game it was a bit of an offensive struggle. Detroit held Atlanta’s offense in check for much of the game as they held a 16-14 lead with 3 minutes to spare. The Falcons went right down the field and got a go ahead touchdown but the problem they did the same thing Penn State did this weekend against Indiana and tried chewing up more clock instead of scoring right away. It isn’t going to matter Atlanta is going to hold on to victory and OH MY GOSH! PAUSE. The Falcons blew YET ANOTHER LATE GAME LEAD! Arthur Blank stop acting like everything is fine and start to trade assets THERE I SAID IT! A 1-6 start to the season should be in the discussion for Tank Bowl yet you guys are too classy and want to keep your star players because of loyalty. They are literally falling in the same traps that the San Jose Sharks are in the NHL! Nike Swoosh, JUST DO IT!
Browns vs Bengals: Baker vs Burrow Round 2: This time it was the Bungals that took the early lead and have crushed Cleveland’s defense all day long. Joe Burrow is putting himself on pace to break Mayfields record for touchdown passes in a rookie season. In my opinion there will be no collapses today, OBJ has been knocked out of the game all they have is Jarvis Landry, Kareem Hunt, and a rookie named Jonathan Peoples Jones. There is no way Cincy can mess this up. Really the Bengals blew yet another lead to trail 30-27 but Burrow torched the Browns secondary and retook the lead for the Orange and Black. I wonder how Baker will respond. Announcer: “Mayfields got the snap, he will throw it into the endzone and it is CAUGHT FOR THE TOUCHDOWN BY JONATHAN PEOPLES JONES!” MOM ITS HAPPENING AGAIN! The Bungals once again Bungled.
Steelers vs Titans: This is one of the few games during an NFL season where I root for injuries. In this case it’s because this game features the Ravens current rivals (the Steelers) vs their original rivals (the Titans.) In this game Pittsburgh jumped out to yet another huge lead which was 27-7 at one point. The Leader of Men (Ben Roethlisberger) was once again pulling out crazy and unpredictable plays that somehow worked in the first half. In the second half the Steelers played down to competition as they allowed Tennessee to get back in the game. The Titans storm back for 17 unanswered points as Pittsburgh’s offense shoots itself in the foot repeatedly by means of turnovers and REFBALL. The Titans now had the chance to force overtime with a late 4th quarter field goal. Announcer: “Gostkowski’s kick is on its way and he missed it wide right!” Steelers fans you once again got lucky in a game that you should have lost. Next week you will need more than luck to beat a certain rival. Sidenote: We have gravitated to the worst possible outcome in terms of trash talking fanbases. The annoying insufferability that was in Cleveland the last few years has shifted to YinzerLand after a 6-0 start. This nonsense of trash talk makes Chiefs fans predictions of a dynasty look like choirboys. They aren’t just talking about this week or the Super Bowl in the future. They are talking about a 19-0 season in the making! All I’m going to say is this: Steelers fans, you are saying the same things about us that you said about the Jaguars in 2017 and the Chargers in 1994. Put them in their place LJ!
Cowboys vs Hogs: Dallas can you explain what is this, a game that on paper should have been a massacre turned into one on the other side. Yes the Hogs are depleted yes but in the NFL you cannot take any team lightly especially with their front 7. Zeke couldn’t gain many yards on the ground, Andy Dalton was concussed but even if he didn’t get hurt the outcome wouldn’t have changed. And the defense was ok I guess. I now realized that considering the turmoil in the Cowboys locker the NFL will probably not flex out Cowboys Eagles for Ravens Steelers next week because Jerry Jones will sue the league if they do that. Honestly I won’t go hard on Roger for that.
Panthers vs Saints: The Saints are once again in must win territory, not because of their opponent but because they want to gain ground on Tom Brady and the Bucs. Despite the Saints giving up a boatload of yards in the first half against their old backup in Teddy Bridgewater, New Orleans took the lead early in the 3rd quarter and didn’t look back. If I am Sean Payton, I would tell the front office to get me another Wide Receiver or Pass Rusher so that they can stand a chance against Tampa Bay.
Packers vs Texans: Houston your playoff hopes are vanishing by the day. This week they got smacked all over NRG Stadium by Aaron Rodgers and Deavonte Adams for the entire game. It doesn’t matter how many guys are covering him, he will burn their DBs like a NASCAR in the Sprint Cup Series. As for the Packers D they were beating up Deshawn Watson again and again and again. The Texans are literally trapped. Everyone thinks they should tank but their 1st Round Pick went to the Dolphins and their 2nd Round pick went to the Rams. They are turning into a poor man’s version of the Ottawa Senators in terms of kneejerk decisions by ownership.
Chiefs vs Broncos: SNOW, WHAT! Yes you heard that right. It is snowing in Denver in WEEK 7! It didn’t matter what the weather conditions were like because the Broncos offense was stabbed, punched, kicked, and embarrassed by Kansas City yet again. It wasn’t even the Chiefs offense that was the reason why Denver got beat. It was that the Chiefs scored touchdowns on defense and special teams. If the Chiefs can get major contributions from those units for the rest of the season then they will prove that last year was no fluke.
49ers vs Patriots: New England in my opinion is about to punt the rest of the season. Fans won’t attend games in the COVID crisis, many of their defensive starters injured or opted out, and Cam Newton is cooked once again. The 49ers have unlocked their potential again and have climbed back into the NFC playoff picture with a statement win in Foxboro. I wonder how Seattle will do now that the 9ers are back in it.
Buccaneers vs Raiders: The Battle of Jon Gruden! Yes, the team he once coached to a Super Bowl Championship vs his current team. In this case, Chucky and the Raiders kept the game close for much of the game, in fact they only trailed 24-20 at one point. Then 3 touchdowns and cheapshots on Derek Carr in the 4th quarter happened. This was one of those games where they do everything they can to win yet fail miserably to go the extra mile. YUCK!
Jaguars vs Chargers: Justin Herbert and the Chargers tried to avoid a 1-5 start to the season and a 5 game losing streak. They were playing Jacksonville at home and you know what that means? PREPARE THE TANKS! The Chargers stormed out to a 16-0 only for the Jags and Minshew to evaporate it quickly. But this was when Justin Herbert literally tried to save Anthony Lynn’s job as the Chargers played mistake free football in the second half and put up 39 points in a much needed victory. The good news is for LA that they aren’t in last place because Denver lost.
Seahawks vs Cardinals: “Live from State Farm Stadium, IT’S A TITLE BOUND FOR THE AGES! Two teams with dual threat QBs and now defense… that is on paper. Seattle jumped out to a 13-0 lead early thanks to Russell Wilson and Tyler Lockett playing pitch and catch. But Kyler Murray and the Cards rallied to cut the lead to 6 only to be stopped on a 4th and goal with the chance at taking the lead. That swung the momentum back to the Seahawks as Wilson and the rest of the offense torched Kliff Kingsbury’s defense all night. With a 34-24 lead with 3 minutes you would think this would be game over. WRONG! This is why Seattle has to rely on high-end talent to win games. Arizona stormed back for 10 points in the last 2 minutes and tied the game to force overtime. This like last year may have been the turning point for DangerRuss in the MVP voting, the offense goes stonecold in OT as Wilson giftwraps the Cardinals a chance at victory with an interception. Announcer: “Gonzalez’s kick looks good and IS GOOD! THE CARDINALS WIN AND ARE 5-2 FOR THE FIRST TIME SINCE 2015!” Cards fans this is the statement win you need for competition against the big boys of the conference. GOOD JOB BOYS!
Bears vs Rams: The Bears finally got smacked for once. We all knew this was coming, The Rams too were looking for a win over a playoff contender after being beat last week by San Francisco. In this game Chicago was no match for Aaron Donald and a familiar face in Leonard Floyd. The Rams took the lead in the second quarter and never looked back. In my opinion considering the fact that the rest of the division is dominating competition this was a needed win. Enjoy smashing Tua Boys!
Bragging Rights Sports 